CALLEN FIGURED HE was the worst person to deliver the kind of news that he was about to deliver to Shelby, and that was why he wanted to do everything he could to soften the blow.
He was going to use booze.
Perhaps sex.
Whatever it took to keep her from falling apart. She was already fragile and worn-out from Buck’s surgery, and hearing something like this could send her right over the edge.
She didn’t press him for information as he drove her home. Probably because she knew what was coming was yet another bombshell. Worse, it was another of Buck’s secrets that Callen hadn’t spilled to her. Realizing that had him rethinking sex. Sex probably wasn’t going to happen, so the booze was going to have to do double duty.
When Callen reached her house, he got her inside and helped her out of her coat before taking off his own. Still no questions, and she sat obediently on the sofa after he led her there.
With her hands folded in her lap, her eyes tracked him as he went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Irish whiskey that he’d noticed the morning he had made coffee. The cat was there, sitting by a nearly empty food and water dish and glaring at Callen as if he were responsible for multiple crimes against felines and humanity. Since he was feeling guilty about withholding yet another secret, Callen located the cat food in the pantry and dumped some on top of the dish. He then filled the water bowl.
That didn’t appease Elvira, and with an annoyed flick of her tail, she sauntered away. Perhaps plotting his demise.
He brought the bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses to the living room, and he filled both before setting the bottle on the table. He dragged over a chair so he could sit facing her.
“Don’t baby me,” she said, breaking the silence, and surprising him. “I know you have something heart-wrenching and possibly life destroying to tell me, but you don’t have to baby me.”
“Okay.” Taking her at her word, Callen drank both shots. He doubted that actually qualified as antibabying, but he could use the booze to steady his own nerves.
“Say it fast,” she insisted.
He nodded and went with fast. “Your mother was leaving your dad the night she was killed in a car accident. She was going to divorce him. Buck didn’t tell you because he was worried you’d blame yourself because you and your mom had apparently argued right before she left.”
Shelby just kept staring at him, and he hoped she was trying to process that rather than going into shock. It was actually a relief when she finally moved. She poured herself a drink and took it in one gulp.
“Okay,” she muttered. He thought her speaking was a good idea, but then she started repeating it. The first three times wasn’t that alarming, but when it continued, Callen worried that “the edge” was right there, waiting for her to go over.
He got out of the chair, kneeling in front of her, and he took hold of her shoulders. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”
She finally stopped repeating “okay” and looked at him. “I was a pain in the ass during those days. Moody and bitchy. I argued with her at the drop of a hat.”
Yes, he remembered some of those arguments. “You were a teenager,” he reminded her. “Hat-dropping arguments come with the territory.”
She shook her head, and he could tell she was about to launch into a guilt trip, so he cupped her chin and forced her to make eye contact. “Your mom and Buck argued, too. I’m guessing your mom left because she just wanted a different life.”
“One without me,” Shelby concluded.
“One without anything she had here,” he amended. “Maybe she felt she didn’t have a choice about that, that she had to go to keep her sanity or something.”
“Like you. You had to leave.”
Callen didn’t even try to argue that. Because it was true.
“And you still need to leave,” she added. “You still need that other life to keep you sane.”
Callen frowned. He darn sure hadn’t wanted the conversation to swing in this direction. “The old baggage made it hard for me to be here,” he admitted.
“Makes it hard,” she corrected him. “I saw you when you were looking around the hospital, and I knew you were thinking about when you’d first come to the ranch. About your injuries. About Nico’s.”
He had indeed been thinking that, and since Shelby was clearly so tuned in to his emotions, it seemed stupid to keep his memories about that under wraps.
“You left because everywhere you go, there are things to trigger the past for you,” Shelby went on.
Again, he couldn’t argue about that, but he could try to get this chat back on track. This wasn’t about him, but it sure seemed as if Shelby was setting him up for something. Maybe she was about to tell him that it was okay for him to leave. Maybe she was going to push him away. For his own good, of course. But it wouldn’t be good for her right now. Not with her stewing in this emotional bog.
“My situation was different from your mom’s,” he assured her. “I seriously doubt she would have given up seeing you. I figure she would have gotten the divorce, and then split custody. She would have still been your mother.”
Shelby went quiet again, hopefully considering—and believing—that. “How long have you known?”
Actually, Callen had hoped she wouldn’t consider that. “Not long. Buck told me after I came back.”
“After he told you about the tumor, something he was keeping from everyone else,” she summarized. Shelby’s eyebrow lifted. “Are there any more of Dad’s secrets you’re keeping?”
“No.” Thank God. Two had been plenty enough.
“You’re sure?” she pressed, and he couldn’t blame her for not trusting him. “What about when you were in the recovery room with him? No two-minute secret revelations in there?”
Callen shrugged and even managed a little smile. “Only that I’m his favorite kid.” Best to add the other part in case Buck did a tell-all. “And that you were falling in love with me.”
Her eyes widened, filled with surprise, and he didn’t think it was because of the favorite-kid part. Hell.
“Buck was drugged,” Callen added in reminder. “He didn’t know what he was saying.”
She stared at him. Nodded. “Yes, he did. I am falling in love with you.”
Now it was Callen’s turn for wide eyes—and a hefty side of skepticism. Considering the other part of the conversation they’d just had about baggage, leaving for sanity’s sake, etc., this felt like a ploy to get him running. No way could he do that, not with Shelby’s emotional state, but it confirmed to him that sex was indeed off the table.
Or not.
Shelby hooked her arm around his neck, yanked him to her, and she kissed him. Definitely not the reaction he’d been expecting, and while kissing her always felt right, it was wrong. And Callen needed to tell her that while his head was still clear. Or rather clear-ish since the kiss was already taking its toll.
He tore his mouth from hers and made eye contact again. “Shelby, you’re upset. Rightfully so. You’re tired, and you’re not thinking straight.”
She made a quick sound of agreement. Then tacked on a sound of disagreement, too. “I’m upset and tired. And I’m using you. Or at least I would if you’d hush and kiss me.”
Oh man. This was not what he wanted. Well, a certain part of him did, but that part was stupid. “Sex might not be the way to go here.” Though it pained him to say it.
“It’d be a distraction. One I need. One you probably need, too. There’s no harm in that.”
And she kissed him again.
The taste of her slammed through him, and the slamming continued when she moved off the sofa and into his arms. Body to body, in an off-balancing kind of way since he was still kneeling. He bobbled to keep them from tumbling over, but that turned out to be a mistake, too, because it caused her breasts to slide against his chest.
Now he was the one who was distracted, and his willpower was spiraling down in a nosedive. Definitely not good. Still, Callen managed to break the lip-lock again long enough to speak. He probably should have considered first, though, what stellar argument he could use to get Shelby to reconsider this.
“Uh” was what he managed.
Not exactly his fault, though, for the nonstellar response. There was a contributing circumstance when the sliding continued, and her lower body brushed against the front of his jeans. The next contributing circumstance, however, came from the nudge she gave him. A wicked, willpower-draining nudge that nearly caused his eyes to cross.
“I’d rather not talk if you don’t mind,” she said. Had her voice taken on a silky sex tone, or was that his imagination?
It was her actual voice.
Callen became sure of that when he realized there wasn’t enough thought power left in his brain to have an imagination. His dick had got in on this, and common sense and such vanished with his erection.
“You’d better have a condom,” Shelby added, obviously breaking her own don’t talk rule.
Callen nodded but couldn’t mention that he had two in his wallet because he kissed her. Yeah, he was weak, but her mouth was right there in front of him. Her hot, sultry mouth that urged him on when she deepened the kiss.
He did some deepening, too. And touching. Again, because she was right there, he slid his hand between them and ran his fingers over her nipples. They weren’t hard to find because they were puckered and tight, straining against her bra and top. He helped with that by yanking off her top and shoving down her bra. He helped himself by lowering the kiss to her nipples.
Very sensitive nipples, he soon discovered.
She moaned, the same silky sex tone as her voice, and Shelby threw back her head, surrendering to the pleasure. But she didn’t just surrender. Her now-bowed body smushed her zipper to his, which in turned pressed his erection in the one place it wanted to be. Minus their clothes, of course.
Callen would have been content to delay the clothing removal while he nibbled at her nipples, but the urgency kicked in for Shelby. The need for him to give her more than just his tongue and mouth. She gave him a clear signal by putting her hand on his dick and squeezing. She added some sliding moves in there, too, her hand working him hard enough that the urgency soared for him, too.
Callen shifted, putting his arms around her so he could drag them both to the floor. He considered the bed, briefly considered it, but he doubted Shelby was going to wait for that. She was already unzipping him and landing some damn effective if not manic kisses on his neck.
He had to pause what he was sure were some damn effective kisses of his own so that he could get her out of her clothes. He had a head start above the waist, but he went after her jeans. Not his finest finessing effort to undress a woman. That was because of her boots. They had to come off first before he could peel off her jeans and panties.
And he found exactly what he wanted.
Callen would have landed a few kisses there, too, but Shelby’s string of profanity grabbed his attention. She’d got off his belt but was struggling with his boots. With a final curse word, she gave up, unzipped him and freed him from his boxers. Judging from the way she took hold of him, the rest of his clothes were going to stay on.
“Condom,” she ground out, taking his wallet from his back pocket. And just in case he’d missed the urgency, she proceeded to kiss and suck his neck to let him know she wanted this to happen now.
Since that only whipped up an even-bigger fire inside him, Callen tried to give her now as fast as he could. He got on the condom. How, he didn’t know. It wasn’t easy doing such a complex task with a kissing, moaning, naked woman beneath him.
Especially this woman.
Shelby was his definition of urgency and whipped-up fire.
Because he was finally in the right position, he kissed her when he plunged into her, and his mouth caught one of those incredible moans of pleasure. Man, he’d remember that for a long time. He’d remember the rest of it, too.
There was pleasure, of course. So much pleasure. That kick of a primal need so strong that it made everything else melt away. It pinpointed his focus to her, just her, and the maddening strokes that would feed the need, along with making this end all too soon.
He could slow it some by easing up on the thrusts, but Shelby didn’t make that easy for him when he tried it. She lifted her hips, hooking her legs around him and pushing him in deeper. To give herself what she needed.
Her climax didn’t come as a ripple but more like a flash fire. Instant, hot. Thorough. Her long moan of pleasure turned to one of relief. The pressure-cooker heat was sated, for the time being, anyway.
Callen had to fight to stop her climax from giving him his own flash fire. All those wet muscles tightening and pulsing around his erection. Hard to fight it when his body just wanted to surrender. Still, he held on a little longer so he could kiss her and taste the relief and pleasure she’d just taken from him.
He gathered her in his arms, dropped his face into the curve of her neck and finally let go.
* * *
NAKED, SHELBY LAY in bed and listened to the sound of the water as Callen took a shower. She’d considered joining him in there but had wanted a few moments to herself to work out the muddle going on in her head.
Way too much muddle.
But she knew it would have been a whole lot worse without the sex. Callen was likely feeling as if he’d taken advantage of her or some such nonsense. But it was just that—nonsense. She’d wanted to be with him, a sort of cleansing the mental palate, and it had worked like a charm. A good orgasm was priceless. A good orgasm from Callen was priceless and...
Complicated.
Not for her. Shelby had already worked out her feelings in that area. She wanted him, and he seemed willing to fulfill her want in a very incredible way.
However, Callen was a decent man, and he would no doubt go on a guilt trip. Not just for having sex with her when she was at a low point but also because he would know she was dealing with the fallout from her father’s latest secret.
Sheez. Who knew Buck could be so sneaky? And enlist Callen in that sneakiness? Well, she certainly knew it now. Shelby also knew something else. Something that would add to that complicated set of feelings Callen was having right about now.
I am falling in love with you.
She winced. She probably could have come up with a different way of reacting to what her father had mumbled to Callen when they’d visited in the recovery room. A chuckle at the absurdity of it would have done it. Or maybe just a gaping, stunned silence. Instead, she had said those words. Words that struck fear into the hearts of men like Callen.
Obviously, though, sex had overcome that fear some, thank goodness. Now maybe the orgasm had helped soothe him as much as it had her. If not, she would go for a second round of sex. He’d left his wallet on the nightstand, and she could see another condom peeking out of it.
And she could also see Elvira peeking around the door as if checking to make sure it was all clear so she could hog her portion of the bed. Shelby could have sworn the cat rolled her feline eyes when Callen came out of the bathroom. Elvira meowed what could only be a protest and sauntered away.
Shelby certainly didn’t protest. Callen smelled great. Looked great, too, with his hair all damp and tousled. But the best part was that he was wearing only a towel. One that was barely large enough to cover the parts of him he’d tried to cover. When he walked toward her, Shelby got an incredible peep show.
“You look...distracted,” he said.
She just kept her focus on the peeping. “I am.” She didn’t meet his eyes until he sat on the bed next to her. “You’re the best possible distraction.”
Unlike her I am falling in love with you, that made him smile. Of course it did. It smacked of lust rather than any kind of complication.
He leaned in, gave her a scorcher of a kiss and was still smiling when he pulled back. Smiling and studying her as if trying to figure out if the distraction sex had helped or hurt.
It had definitely helped.
“I used to fantasize about you when you were still at the ranch,” she admitted. “But with my then-limited fantasy fodder, it only involved kisses and getting naked.”
His eyebrow rose. “How old were you when you had these fantasies?”
“Age thirteen to sixteen. And then when you left the ranch, age sixteen to...now.”
She caught his naughty chuckle with her mouth when she kissed him, and she made a naughty sound of her own when she flicked that towel off his hips and pulled him to her.
Specifically, on top of her.
If she’d planned it better, she would have tossed back the sheet covering her, but that could happen later. For now, she just kissed him and slid her hands and fingers along his bare back. Oh, the muscles. How they quivered and reacted to her touch. Especially the ones on his superior butt. She kept it slow and easy, but it was definitely rebuilding a fire.
Callen took over the kissing, giving her an amazing one before he lifted his head and looked down at her. “Are you okay?” he asked.
It didn’t kill the mood. That would have been next to impossible. But Shelby felt the downer nudge that she was going to have to answer him rather than move the sheet and have her way with him.
“I’m fine,” she said, but he was going to want details. “I don’t blame myself for my mother leaving, but I wish my dad had told me.”
He studied her a moment longer. “Are you mad at him? At me?”
She had to consider that. “Neither. I’m sure it’ll cause me some low moments, but I think it’s worse right now because it came on the heels of Dad’s surgery.”
Callen sighed, brushed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
If she could have shrugged she would have, but with Callen on top of her that would have been hard to do. “I suspect my dad will feel bad about the way he spilled it.” And she paused. “Which is why I don’t want you to say anything about it. I doubt he’ll remember it, and we can maybe just keep it between us until he’s recovered.”
His eyebrow came up again. “Are you asking me to keep a secret?”
“I am,” she admitted. “There’s just something about you. A secret magnet.” She paused. “You’re sure you’re not keeping any others?”
“Positive. No others.”
“Not even secrets about Christmas presents?” she teased.
He got that startled look. An oh-shit. “I haven’t really had time to shop yet. Or to tell Havana to shop for me.”
“No worries. I haven’t had time, either.” Though she wouldn’t mention she had ordered some things from the internet. Including a gift for Callen.
He continued to study her, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek while looking deep in her eyes.
Uh-oh.
She could feel it coming. And it came, all right.
“You told me you were falling in love with me,” he said, his words slow and cautious. Shelby bet he’d practiced saying this in the shower. “You did that to push me away.”
The relief that came was almost as good as an orgasm. Almost. “Yes!” she said with entirely too much enthusiasm. “But it clearly didn’t work because here you are in my bed, wearing only your birthday suit and a smile.”
And he was indeed smiling. Probably from relief, too, but it could have also had something to do with her hand sliding down between them to find him hard, huge and ready.
He gave a very manly grunt of approval and pleasure but still managed to ask, “So, we’re okay?”
“Absolutely. Callen, don’t worry. I’m not falling in love with you.”
Not a lie. That was because she was already in love with him.
But thankfully Shelby had no chance to blurt that out because of Callen’s well-timed, speech-robbing kiss.