CHAPTER 11
“DO YOU LIKE roses?” Phoenix asked.
“Yes. My favorite is yellow. I can smell them.” Her hand was tucked around his elbow as they walked through the garden outside of where the reception was being held. Although cold outside, the conservatory was warm.
“We’re surrounded by them. Here.” He stopped, took her hand and gently led her fingers to a flower.
Ria touched the velvet-soft petals, imagining how beautiful the flower was while inhaling the wonderful floral scent. “I think I remember what flowers look like. I don’t want to forget. That’s the thing about having sight and then losing it. I have pictures in my head, but it has been so long that I wonder if I’ve created my own images.”
“Would you like to sit on the bench?”
“Yes.” Together they walked over and sat down. “It’s calm here. I used to come here often and read. Sometimes Jamie would come with me. We planned to be married here. Right over by the exotic flowers.” She heard his breath hiss out of his lungs.
“And the bastard ends up having his reception here? What a great guy.”
All this time he was still holding her hand, his thumb caressing her palm, easing any tension from her body. He could relax her with his touch and this was why she found herself wanting to know more about him—what made him tick. He had a way about him that brought wonderment, excitement. “I don’t mind. I thought I would, but I don’t.”
There was something special about the way he protected her. Not in an overbearing way that made her feel helpless like others had over the years, but instead he only navigated her and allowed her to experience things. Her heartbeat raced and her nipples tightened, a natural body response to arousal, but it was more than expected. There was an explosion between them, a chemistry that couldn’t be ignored. Through the wedding ceremony he had kept one hand on the small of her back, or her arm, always staying connected. Even holding her hand at one point and she’d had to remind herself that this was what boyfriends did. There was nothing pretend about the chemistry between them though. The organic feeling nestled into her core and tweaked all her nerve endings into a firestorm.
Once upon a time, she’d been hell bent on taking care of herself, showing no vulnerability, but admittedly, she was glad to have him here with her. It was easy to forget she was a witness to a double homicide and her life was in danger when she had Phoenix close.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“No. It’s nice in here.”
“Would you like another glass of wine? Champagne?”
“Do they have coffee?” Any more alcohol and she might make a blubbering idiot of herself.
“I’ll be right back.”
He was only gone for a few minutes. “Here you go.” He placed the cup in her hand.
“Thank you.” She took a sip. “This is delicious.”
He was quiet for a moment. “I’m in awe of you, Ria. I don’t know how else to put it.”
She chuckled. “In awe of me? Whatever for?”
His thigh brushed hers. “I couldn’t imagine losing my sight. I don’t think most people could, and yet you’ve overcome the hurdle and come out on the other side stronger. You could use the blindness as an excuse to not do anything, but instead you use it as the excuse to keep going. I admire and respect those characteristics.”
“I think I’m blushing.” She lightly laid her fingers on the rim of the cup.
“Whatever it is, it looks beautiful on you.”
“Since we’re being honest, I should tell you that I admire the work you do. Policework. Such an admirable career. Some wear the badge for prestige, but you wear it because you want to change things. Without your help in all this I don’t know where I’d be.” She took another sip, licking a drop from her bottom lip.
“You’re a fighter. You would have been okay.”
“Before the accident I owned a spa. It was a nice place and things were good, at least where my business was concerned. I had everything I wanted—or thought I wanted. After the accident, my priorities shifted and although I had lost my eyesight, I could see things clearer than I ever had prior. I eventually had to sell the business, but in the end, it wasn’t the worst thing for me. I distanced myself from everyone, even Jamie. I sometimes wondered why I lived? You say you respect my strength, but I wasn’t always this way, not at first. I despised the fact that I was hurt in the accident. One morning I received a call that a friend had lost her child in a car accident. I cried the entire day and when the tears dried, I realized life was too short to live it feeling sorry for myself. I went out alone the next day, apprehensive as I was, and the next, and so on. Unfortunately, when I started standing on my own two feet, my relationship with Jamie fizzled.”
“Do you ever look back and wonder what you saw in him from the beginning?”
“I do. But I was a different person then. I was career oriented, lost in a huge bank account and proving myself to the world. When he came and told me he was no longer in love with me I had felt a sense of relief. Who feels that way? I didn’t want to be the bad person and end it. Not when he was still there after the accident. I’ve never told anyone that, not Kora or Phyllis.”
He laced their fingers, using one finger to trace her thumb. She couldn’t see him but knew he was staring at her, watching her intently. “I’m glad you didn’t marry Jamie.” He breathed in deeply. “I have so many questions, but I don’t want to bombard you.”
“Ask me anything.” Anything to keep this conversation going. She enjoyed talking to him and liked that he seemed genuinely interested in her.
“How do you read?”
“One of the first things I did for myself after the accident was learn to read braille. It wasn’t easy, but a necessity.”
“How do you cook for yourself?”
“Cooking for one isn’t very exciting so I find it much easier to make microwave meals or prepackaged foods. I rely on my listening skills for many things. When a pot is boiling I can hear the bubbles. The sounds of the coffee maker finishing are obvious. Baking can be tricky, but I can smell food and I use the timer. Kora helps with things I can’t do alone, like gathering my mail and reading it. I pay my bills online and since my computer talks to me it’s not difficult. She would like to do much more for me, but I’ve resisted her efforts. My mom and dad were easier to convince to allow me to be independent. They realized finding my own path was important. I order my groceries online. I organize everything, with Kora’s help, according to what I’ve bought first and when it expires. I drank spoiled milk once and I learned my lesson to label everything with a special labeler and do the sniff test to be safe.”
He shifted and his hard thigh brushed hers again. “How is it possible a man hasn’t come along and swooped you up. You’re incredibly beautiful, smart, amazing.”
She laughed. “I haven’t been out looking for a man. I’m difficult. My disability can be difficult.”
“You’re not difficult. You’re exciting. A challenge.”
“And you’re just being nice.”
“I’m being truthful.”
Laughter from inside the reception hall drifted out which seemed to interrupt their private setting.
“Are you wanting to get married one day? Have children?”
His question stunned her. She did tell him to ask anything though. “Maybe one day, but I’d have to meet a man first, one that I can find myself living with for the rest of my life and he can see living with me for the rest of his—seeing himself put down the toilet lid and picking up his shoes off the floor.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard. You just have to find a man who is worthy of you.” He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, sending signals to her inner thighs.
She leaned closer to him and breathed in his scent. How could one man smell so good? If she had her way she’d crawl into his lap and bury her face in his neck, absorb his warmth. “Kora tells me there are plenty of men out there, but I put my guard up.”
“That’s expected. Once a person has been hurt it’s hard to open up again.”
Drawing in a deep breath, she eased against him, wanting to be as close as she could. She’d never been so comfortable with someone so quickly. “I often wonder if I am sabotaging myself. You know, because bringing someone into my life would uproot the system I have in place. He would have to be willing to change his habits to meet my needs. If a relationship isn’t hard enough to begin with, then throwing in the expectation of not leaving his shoes or clothes laying around can be an added pain. Everything has to be in its place for me to find it, or so I don’t fall over it.”
“Doesn’t sound too hard to me. It’s a routine, just as you had to learn a new one, he’d have to also. A man in love is willing to do just about anything.”
“In Jamie’s defense, he tried, he really did, but I felt his irritation. Once he forgot to leave my phone in its cradle and I searched everywhere without success. When he came home I argued with him and he said he’d make sure to never do it again. Another time I fell over a box and hit my head on the wall. He apologized, and I assured him I was okay. I’m not defending him, but there just wasn’t enough love to see us through. As far as children, once upon a time I saw myself with a child, I still do at times. Right after the accident I wouldn’t have even contemplated kids, but nothing is impossible. I guess I have grown some.”
He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, placing his other hand at her waist. The touch felt intimate. “You can do anything you want to do, sweetheart. For the life of me, if I was your man, I would do my best to make life easier for you, not harder.”
“Do you have scars?” The question just sort of floated out on its own.
“Scars?” He chuckled. “Yeah. A few”
“Where?” She wanted to know everything about him.
“I’ll show you.” He lifted her hand and placed it on his left cheek. “I have a thin one here from falling off my bike at ten.” His skin was warm and she could feel his jaw tighten. Then he moved her hand to his thigh. “Another one taking a dive out of a tree a few years later.” Again, he picked her hand up and pressed it on his chest, covering it with his own. She could feel the heavy beating of his heart. “Probably the biggest one is here, in my heart. I loved and lost. Although I’ve healed, the scars will remain, yet lately they don’t seem so deep and wide.”
Her toes curled. Her body tingled. “I’m sorry that Katy hurt you.”
He sighed. “How about you? Scars? Tattoos?”
“A minor one on my finger from opening a can. A small one on my head from the accident.”
And then he did something that teased her senses. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the finger with the small scar. “Tattoos?” he mumbled.
“No. Do you have any?”
“One. On my back. I got it while I was in the Navy.”
“What is it?”
“A large cross with the American flag wrapped around it.”
“I’ve always played with the idea of getting one, but I always told myself I might get tired of looking at the same tattoo every day. I guess that’s not a problem now.” She sighed. “But I’m sure your tattoo looks amazing.”
He laughed. His hand was now on the crease of her hip, his thumb sliding across her waist. The material of her dress was no match against the heat of his touch. “I’ve had a few compliments. I can understand what you mean, but when you get it on your back you don’t have to see it.” His breath brushed her cheek.
“Did it hurt?” Her voice shook.
“Yes. I won’t lie.” He picked up a tendril of her hair and brought it to his nose and inhaled. “Can I ask you this without coming off as a dick?”
She felt him pull away slightly. “Well, I’ll try not to judge you, but go ahead.”
“I remember you saying you had a business degree, but you ended up as a massage therapist.”
“I like working with my hands.”
“I bet you’re really good at it too.”
She could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m not bad. I’ll have to show you.”
He shifted and cleared his throat. “Did your talk with Jamie go okay?”
“It went fine. He just wanted to touch base.”
“I met his mother. She’s a peach.”
“Ah, yes. She loves me.” The sarcasm in her voice was palpable.
“I couldn’t tell.” He laughed. “I have a feeling the only person she likes is her plastic surgeon.”
“Not just one, but two.”
“Figures.”
“I think we’ve spent enough time here. We’ve come. We’ve conquered. Let’s go.”
~~~**~~~
The snow was coming down hard by the time they made it back to the cabin. They made a mad dash for the porch, but by the time they stepped through the door they both were wet. He swiped his shoes on the mat, then toed them off, making sure they were out of the way. “I guess we should get these clothes off,” Phoenix said.
“I agree.” She smiled, walking closer to him. Water droplets covered her skin like dew on a flower’s petals. Her hair was wild about her rosy cheeks and her bottom lip trembled. “I can help with that. Do you mind?”
He sucked in a deep breath. “No, I don’t.” The words came out on a hissed breath.
Her fingers were on the top button of his shirt and she undid one, then two, and more until the front parted. He shifted as she crawled fingers up his stomach, his chest and glided the shirt off his shoulders. “Your skin is damp, and yet you’re still warm. You’re like a furnace. How is that possible?”
“I’m a little feverish.”
She paused. “Are you sick?”
He laughed. “I meant, I’m hot. You’re making me heated, sweetheart.”
“Oh, okay.” Ria worked her bottom lip. “I want you to get naked.”
“Huh?”
“I made a promise to show you how good my hands are.”
“Uh…”
“Relax. A massage, remember? While I’m changing out of this dress, you undress and meet me in my bedroom in ten. Okay?” One thin brow lifted.
This was an offer any sane man would never turn down. “I’ll be there. Do you want me completely naked?”
“Yes. Don’t worry. I won’t see anything.” She chuckled. “Is my cane still by the door?”
“Yes.” He handed it over and watched as she deftly made her way through the living room and down the hallway. He was amazed how quickly she’d learned her surroundings. And how quickly she’d reached in and broken down his reservations. He should have told her he’d skip the massage because Lord knew having her hands on him would be torture, yet another part of him, a bigger part, couldn’t pass up the chance.
So, just as she’d requested, he knocked on her bedroom door ten minutes later.
“Come in,” she called from inside.
He opened the door and peeked in. She was standing by the end of the bed and had changed into a pair of pajamas with big red hearts. Her hair was pulled back and her face was washed. She looked young and vibrant, so damn pretty.
“I’ve set up my oils.” She pointed to the variety of bottles on the nightstand.
“Do you always tote your oils around wherever you go?”
“I know it seems weird, but yes, I do. Oils have both personal and psychological benefits. Lavender to diminish fear and anxiety. Neroli oil for blood pressure and stress. Cypress to improve circulation. To obtain the maximum benefits of a massage it’s important to choose a suitable oil. I have a sweet almond oil that I think you’ll like. I wish I had my table because it’s the perfect size for me to give a deep tissue massage. This will have to do.” She pointed to the bed. “Come and lie down on the towel and get comfortable. I’ll start the music.”
“Music? I didn’t know there were so many things that go into a massage.”
“Ah, yes. For many clients, music personalizes the session and increases satisfaction. Brahms is perfect.”
Although he was a confident man and she couldn’t see him, as he strolled across the room, as bare as the day he was born, he felt a little self-conscious. Sure, he had women tell him how sexy he was, how toned he was, but this was different. This woman, who he found attractive, found desirable, would be touching him soon. He’d have to dig deep for control he wasn’t sure he had. What if he got a hard on? Would she know? Oh hell…he could be about to make a damn fool of himself.
Lying down and stretching out on the bed, he watched her reach for one of the bottles, squirt a few drops into her palm and rub her hands together. He found the action very sensual, but that was only the beginning…