CHAPTER 20
PHOENIX WALKED INTO Lauren’s room. She was awake, hooked up to an IV, and eating a cup of pudding. She saw him and dropped her container to the table, frowning. “I’m so sorry, Sheriff. I-I heard a noise and went to investigate, and then I was struck over the head. I heard Ria is okay.”
“She’s fine. Shaken up, but not hurt.”
“Are you going to fire me?” She looked pale and tiny in the bed.
“Fire you? Because you were hurt in the line of duty? You know me better than that.”
“Well, I wasn’t sure because I put Ria’s life in danger. And since I’m pregnant. Not to mention I opened my big mouth and told Ria about Katy coming by the office. I didn’t realize you and Ria…well, you and she were involved. I knew by her expression that she was upset.”
He pulled over the plastic chair from the corner and took a seat. He wanted to tell Ria that Katy had stopped by the office, but he’d been focused on the case. Would she understand that it was nothing? Katy had only wanted to apologize for the past. “Okay, let’s slow down. One thing at a time. You’re pregnant?”
“Ria didn’t tell you? Only three months, but I promise I’ll still do my job. Snake getting one over on me today had nothing to do with raging hormones and the morning sickness I’ve been having all day, every day.”
“No, she didn’t tell me. Is the baby okay?”
“Yes. The doctor listened for a heartbeat and he or she is fine.”
“First, Snake was a dangerous criminal, and this could have happened to anyone. Second, what happened between Katy and I was innocent. I’ll explain that to Ria.”
Tears welled up in her eyes and she sucked in a sob. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My hormones are out of whack. I cry at the drop of a pin. I open my mouth when I know better.”
He reached for a tissue and handed it over. “It’s okay, Deputy. Take your time.” Now things were making sense and why Ria had given him the cold shoulder.
“I-I. T-Told. Her K-Katy and you hugged.”
“You didn’t mean any harm, but I have to ask. How long were you and Marx dating?”
She brought her chin up so fast he swore he heard her neck crack. “You knew?”
He nodded. “After I found his name on the list and did some investigating, it became obvious. He was with you to find out information.”
“I didn’t know, Sheriff, and I promise I didn’t tell him anything, especially not where Ria was staying. He overheard conversations mostly, and I believed he was your friend. He didn’t want me to tell you about us. I wanted to tell you after I saw his name on the list, b-but I was afraid. And angry.”
“We still haven’t been able to find him. Have you heard from him?”
She shook her head against the pillow. “No. I’d tell you. He’s a lying bastard.”
“Okay. You rest now. We’ll talk later.” If it was the last thing Phoenix did, he’d find the bastard.
~~~**~~~
“Okay, listen, that’s the hundredth time he’s called. If you don’t want to talk to him, fine, but at least tell him why. He deserves that.”
Ria continued to stack massage oil bottles on the shelf. “Kora, I appreciate you staying with me and helping as an assistant until I hire another, but if you take Phoenix’s side, I’m going to fire you.”
“Sweetie, don’t think I’m not still upset with you for not telling me about the killings and your life being in danger so you owe it to me to let me be the helicopter sister for a while.”
“Fine, but don’t think I’m over you leaving your dream vacation early to come be with me. Phyllis shouldn’t have called you. If I wanted you here, I would have called you myself. People need to stop thinking because I’m blind I can’t think properly.”
“Honey, no one even suggested you can’t think properly. You’re one of the smartest, strongest people I know. How many other people who’ve been through what you have could get up each morning and stay focused on business? I couldn’t.”
After shelving the last bottle, Ria turned to her sister and sighed. “I love you, Kora, but you just said what I’ve been trying to prove to you, and Phyllis, for a long time now. I’m strong and I need to do some things for myself. Mostly though, you need to focus more on your own life. You deserve to be happy and as long as you think your role is to hover above me, protecting me, you’ll never start thinking about your needs.”
“Well, Phyllis cared enough about you to call me so she’ll come around. And I, just so you know, did meet a man in Paris.”
“You did?” Ria pulled the swivel chair over and sat down. “You have to tell me everything.”
“He’s tall, dark, and handsome.”
“That’s a generic description.”
“Okay, he’s American and was in Paris on business. We met in a little quaint shop that served melt in your mouth croissants. He showed me around while I was there, and we seemed to have a lot in common.”
“And? Will he be coming home to visit?”
“Next month he has to be back in the States. He lives in Chicago, but we’ll meet up somehow.”
“Wow! I’m happy for you.”
“You have to speak to the Sheriff, sweetie. Phyllis said you had feelings for him. True?”
She wanted to lie, should’ve lied, but she couldn’t. “I fell for him.” She’d leave out the fact that she had cried herself to sleep for the last week, not only because she now had lots of time to think about all that had happened, but also she missed him terribly.
“You did? And you’re going to let him go? Are you crazy?”
“I-I can’t risk being hurt again.”
“Come on, sis. You know that’s silly.”
Ria stood and made her way to the laundry basket of sheets and started folding them. “I believe that he still loves Katy. If she wants him back, I need to move out of the way and let him figure it out.”
“I think you’re allowing your emotions to convince you of something that’s not entirely true.”
“If it wasn’t how it appears, why didn’t he tell me he saw her? If Jamie stopped by, I would have told him.”
“Maybe there’s nothing to tell you.”
“Or maybe he didn’t feel it was any of my business.” She shook out a towel and it cracked the air.
“Sweetie, if he wants his ex, why is he calling you?”
Leave it to her sister to put Ria on the hot seat. “He wants to explain?”
“I don’t get you. Jamie has moved on and he still has you cuffed to his baggage.”
“I am over him.”
“Yeah, I know, but you’re not over the insecurity of getting your heart broken or cheated on. Realize the facts, Ria. You think Phoenix might have just been “with” you because of the case. Or, you might actually believe you two have a chance and you’re scared. You know he doesn’t want his ex.”
“I guess.”
“And yet here he is, calling you and leaving you voicemail after voicemail asking for you to give him a chance to explain. Hmm…wouldn’t you think if he didn’t care he’d be long gone? But no. He’s wanting a chance. If you weren’t afraid of your feelings, you’d tell him to shove off.”
“You sound like me now.” Ria smiled.
“Now let’s hope one of us listens.”
~~~***~~~
This was the first time he’d seen Ria in two weeks and although Phoenix realized he was anxious, he would have never believed that he could be this nervous. She hadn’t said anything in her text message except simply asking him to stop by to see her when he could. After spending almost five minutes staring at the message, he’d finally texted her back with, “I’ll be there after my shift. 6 P.M.”
He had no clue why she wanted to see him, but he could only hope she’d listen to him. In fact, as each day rolled into another without hearing from her, his disbelief had gradually started to turn into anger. Hell, he wasn’t the smartest man around, but a man knew when he was given the runaround for something other than the obvious. Sure, he understood she was scared, but so was he. Katy had done a number on him, but on the positive note, she did the best thing for him by letting him go. They’d been miserable arguing more than not, and that was one of the reasons he stayed at work all the time. Sure, it was no excuse, but it was the truth.
Ria was different. He loved her, but she’d have to trust him—trust their love.
“Thank you for coming by.” She stepped back and motioned for him to come in.
“I have to admit, I was a bit taken back when I saw your message.” He stepped past her, dragged off his hat and held it against his chest. The place was a lot different than he remembered from the last time he was here. “You have new flooring and couch.”
“Although the cleaners had come in and taken care of the mess that was left, there were stains on the old floor and couch. That wouldn’t have helped grow business again.”
“Did you lose a lot of clients?”
“A few.” She closed the door quietly, then turned back to him. “Can’t say I blame people. I’ve thought about selling the house, moving and opening a place downtown.”
“Is that what you want?” He understood how hard it would be for her to start anew.
She shrugged. “Not really, but it’s probably best. She smiled but it didn’t fade the dark circles under her eyes. He had them too. He hadn’t slept more than a few winks each night. “I have a few of your things. A shirt and the blanket I used at the cabin.” She pointed to the neatly folded stack sitting on the couch.
He dropped his arms to his sides. “You called me here so you could return a blanket and shirt?” he asked in disbelief.
Her tongue came out to roll over her bottom lip. “They are yours.”
“And I don’t give a damn about them,” he said in a low, tight voice. “You should have thrown them into the trash.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “No. I didn’t ask you to come here to return your items. I-I just thought it’d break the ice.”
“Well, sweetheart, if there’s a layer of ice, it’s because you’ve created it between us.” Realizing how gruff his words were, he sighed. He had a hard time holding back his emotions.
“Right, but…” she gave her head a shake sending tendrils of her hair around her cheeks. She brought a hand up and pushed them back into the blonde mass.
“No buts, Ria.”
“Did you see Katy?”
“Yes, I did, but she stopped by because she’s having a hard time and wanted to tell me she’s sorry.”
“Because she wants you back…”
“No, because her new husband cheated on her and she realized karma had caught up to her. And just so you know, even if she did want me back, I wouldn’t want her.”
“She hurt you.”
“Yeah, she did, but my heart belongs to another. You.”
“Yes, but you don’t know me.”
“I don’t want to feel like I have to wade through Jamie’s baggage to convince you. Truth is, before I fell for you, I knew exactly what I was getting into—exactly the type of person you are. I knew without a doubt that you were compassionate, caring, and although you can’t see me with your eyes, you see me with your heart. That’s all I needed to know. A relationship isn’t something you can tiptoe in. You have to be willing to jump in.”
Her face paled. “You love me?”
He swallowed. “Yeah, I do.”
“I’m glad.” Her bottom lip shook.
“Although I’ve wondered why a dozen times over the last few weeks, I do, Ria. Enough that I know I want to spend my life with you, but only if you feel the same.”
“To think I’ve been utterly miserable for the last fourteen days.”
“Have you?”
“I’ve missed you like crazy. But I’m still scared. I know you believe someone in love should be willing to jump in fully, and I’ve never considered my disability as a crutch, but if I give myself to someone I must believe, without a doubt, that I can trust him. I need to rely on him every day, for simple things like putting a spice container back where it belongs in the cabinet. Being vulnerable to someone isn’t easy.”
He tossed his hat onto the couch and took four steps across the room to reach her. “Listen, sweetheart. I’m here for you. I’ll make mistakes, maybe forget important things at times, but I’ll always be here for you. I know you think you’re too independent to depend on someone, but I’m the guy. I have broad shoulders. I’ll protect you when you need protected, but I’ll never suffocate you or make you feel incapable. Same for me. Please be the one who I come home to and spill the horrors of my day to. The one who sees me even at my worst. Trust me. Give your heart to me.”
“We’re in for a ride. Do you know that?”
“Does that mean I have your heart?”
“I think you stole it on the dance floor that first dance,” she admitted. “I love you.”
He did what he’d wanted to do since he stepped into her house. He wrapped his arms around her and dragged her in for a kiss that was full of need.
“Thank goodness. I thought I was going to have to tie her up and make her listen to you.”
Phoenix froze. “You didn’t tell me we weren’t alone,” he whispered.
Ria laughed. “That’s Kora. She wasn’t supposed to be snooping from the studio,” Ria said it loud enough for Kora to overhear. “Ignore her.”
“I plan to.” He lowered his mouth and kissed her deeply.