Chapter Eighteen
Rusty stuffed his hands in his pockets automatically the moment he walked out the front door of Blake’s house, but he needn’t have. The air was warmer today, the sun brighter, as if it was doing Megan a favor by shining on her wedding.
At this rate, she wouldn’t freeze in her dress. That was probably a good thing.
His phone told him it was a little after nine, which meant the pharmacy would be open by now. Hope Springs may have been a quaint little town, but everyone seemed to rise and shine on the early side.
They all seemed happy, too. He rarely saw anyone on the street who wasn’t smiling, or waving to a friend, or stopping for a chat.
It was nice. Being surrounded by people who weren’t varying degrees of miserable made it easier not to be miserable himself.
The giant red cross on the pharmacy guided Rusty over to it, slipping inside and looking up at the big, clear signs above the aisles.
Thankfully, one of them said Hay fever on it. That made his life simple.
Rusty stood in front of the shelf, looking at all the different brands and claims on the packages, and felt his brain grind to a halt. How was he supposed to pick?
Blake had said whatever was on sale, but he wanted something that would work. That was more important than what it cost. They were only hay fever tablets, after all. None of them seemed expensive, especially if they made Blake feel better.
After seeing how much distress he was in, Rusty would have walked over hot coals to make him feel better. Seeing him suffering made his heart hurt.
“Rusty,” someone said from beside him.
He turned to see Jude, Blake’s friend, smiling at him.
“It is Rusty, right?” Jude asked when he didn’t immediately respond.
“Uh, yeah,” Rusty said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, just… preoccupied.” He waved at the shelves full of antihistamines.
“Are they for you, or Blake?” Jude asked.
“Blake. He’s reacting to Megan’s flowers. He looked so miserable. I just want him to feel better and I’ve never had to pick one of these in my life.”
Jude turned to look at the shelf, scanning for a few moments before reaching out and grabbing a box. “These,” he said, holding them out to Rusty. “Owen swears by them.”
Rusty took the box gratefully, holding it close to his chest. “Thanks.”
“Call on me for all your medication advice needs.” Jude smiled wryly. “Between me, my husband, and my daughter, we’ve been through something out of just about every aisle in here. But if you’re stuck, Lanie doesn’t bite. She’s really nice, and she knows her stuff.”
Rusty licked his lips. Jude was talking like he thought Rusty was staying.
Had Blake said he was? How was he going to explain that to his friends?
“I think Blake’s still thinking about your offer,” he said, hoping that would help him to break it gently. “And I’ll go where he goes,” he added.
Jude rolled his eyes. “I know the story between you two,” he said. “The real one, not the one you’re letting Blake’s parents believe. You don’t have to lie to me.”
“Oh.” Rusty looked down at the box he was holding, rather than meet Jude’s eyes. “Well. Thank you for keeping it a secret.”
“I saw the way you looked at him,” Jude said. “If you break his heart, I will get on the first plane to Australia and track you down. Blake’s been through enough.”
“Message received.” Rusty nodded, meeting Jude’s eyes again. He had an inch or two on the other man, but Jude looked like he could be formidable if he wanted to be. He had tough written all over him, under the layer of softness he showed to the world.
Rusty liked him already. He really hoped Blake would take up his offer. He’d brightened up the moment they got into town, and Rusty could see the cloud that had been hanging over him when he’d first found him lifting.
He was proud of himself for being part of that. Even if it was only a small part.
This town seemed like the kind of place that was good for the soul.
He’d be sad to leave it when the time came.
“Where’s Kayla?” Rusty asked, in what he suspected was the most transparent attempt to change the subject in the history of civilized conversation.
“With Owen. My husband,” Jude said. “They’re probably drawing on the walls.”
Rusty chuckled at that. “So you’ve got two kids, then?”
Jude shrugged. “I painted the wall so they could draw on it and wipe it off,” he said. “I’m thinking about doing the rest of the walls in the house. I don’t think getting older means you have to grow up. At least… not in the sense of getting weird and serious. It’s okay to have fun.”
Rusty smiled at that. Jude wasn’t wrong, as far as he was concerned.
“You know, you’re all right,” he said.
“I’ll… take that as a compliment,” Jude responded. “You’re okay too, I guess. Blake seems to see something in you, anyway.”
Rusty raised an eyebrow.
“What?” Jude asked. “He does. I don’t think that’s much of a secret. If you can’t see it, it’s only because you don’t want to.”
Did he not want to? Or was Jude just being nice to him?
Right now, Rusty couldn’t tell.
“Right, well…” he said. “I need to get back, but we’ll see you later, yeah?”
“You will. I love weddings.” Jude beamed. “Remind Blake of my offer. Maybe even put in a good word for me?”
Rusty chuckled. “I don’t think you need it, but sure, yeah. I think it’d be good for him.”
“I know it would be, but he has to make his own decision. I just… want him to be happy.”
“Yeah,” Rusty said. “Me too.”
“Then I’ll let you go,” Jude said. “Good luck.”
Rusty wasn’t exactly sure what he was being wished luck for, but he was starting to think he’d need it.
He wanted Blake to be happy. That was the first, most important thing in his mind.
The problem with that was that his presence tended to do the opposite with people. He didn’t make them happy. He was a disappointment. Never quite good enough.
His dad had told him so enough times, in enough different ways.
Blake didn’t deserve the burden of that. He deserved to live in this peaceful little town and settle down with someone who’d be good for him.
As much as Rusty wished he could be that someone, he knew he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he never was.
Life was just like that sometimes.