Chapter Twenty-Six
Rusty sat bolt upright as he heard his phone vibrating on the nightstand, grabbing it as quickly as he could so the sound wouldn’t wake Blake.
He blinked at the too-bright screen, squinting to see the name.
Dad.
Fuck.
Rusty sighed, swiping to answer and holding the phone to his ear.
“What makes you think four in the morning is somehow a better time to call than six?”
“Don’t be dramatic,” his father said. “I see you’ve corrected your mistake.”
Rusty bristled. “Stop talking about him like he’s a parking ticket,” Rusty said. “Have you considered my feelings even once? Blake isn’t a mistake,” he hissed into the phone, climbing out of the bed carefully so he wouldn’t risk waking Blake up.
“I thought our feelings were in alignment,” his dad said. “You don’t want this hanging around your neck, either. He could come along and take half of what you’ve built whenever he liked.”
Rusty swallowed.
In theory, that was true, but Blake… Blake wouldn’t do that to him.
And Rusty wouldn’t have begrudged him half of everything he had, anyway.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Rusty said.
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“But I do,” Rusty responded automatically.
He knew Blake cared about him. Genuinely cared about him, and hadn’t once given a damn who he was, or who his father was, or what Rusty could do for him.
All he’d ever asked for was companionship. Someone to stand by his side.
Rusty had been honored to be that person. No one ever asked him for that. His presence was never enough for anyone else.
He didn’t want a divorce. He wanted Blake.
The thought came careering back into his head like a runaway freight train, hurtling through at terrifying speed and spinning around wildly.
He didn’t want a divorce.
He wanted Blake.
“I don’t want a divorce,” he said aloud.
The surprised sound his father made was exactly how he felt about saying it, but…
He didn’t. He wanted to stay here, and curl up next to Blake, and tell him that he didn’t have to go just yet. That they could have some more time.
He didn’t know what Blake wanted, but for once in his life, Rusty knew exactly how he wanted things to be.
For the first time in a long time, he was happy. Here, in this strange little town, with a man he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving all over again.
His stomach twisted, a wave of nausea hitting him at the thought that he was about to lose this.
He hung up the phone before his father could recover, rushing to the bathroom to splash his face with water.
The mirror over the sink showed that he was pale and shaking, his hands trembling as he ran cool water over them, his skin stinging at the cold.
He forced himself to breathe more deeply, his lungs burning from the way he was gasping for air.
If the thought of losing Blake made him feel physically sick…
He needed to talk to someone.
Rusty grabbed his phone from where he’d tossed it on top of the laundry hamper on his way in, scrolling through his contacts to phone the only person he could think of.
“Rusty?” his mother answered, obviously surprised to hear from him.
“Hi mum,” he said, aware his voice was shaking. He felt like a mess.
“Are you okay?” she asked immediately. She could always tell when he was upset.
“I don’t want a divorce,” he said, his lip trembling as he got the words out. He was nearly in tears at the thought, his eyes already stinging.
He didn’t want to do this. His heart ached to stay.
That was the problem. He’d come all the way out here for one thing, and his dad was counting on him to do this, but he didn’t want to.
He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Blake behind again. It’d been hard enough the first time, but he’d been young and not ready to be tied down.
Now…
Now, he would have given anything for someone to call him theirs.
And he wanted that person to be Blake. He wanted to wake up beside him, and smile, and feel his heart soaring with joy every single day.
“Okay,” his mother responded.
That was it.
Just okay.
Rusty wasn’t sure whether it was permission or not, but he wanted to take it that way. “Is it okay?”
“Will it make you happy?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Yeah,” Rusty said. He didn’t need to think about it even for a second.
Blake made him happy. Being near Blake made his heart feel so full he was half-afraid it’d burst. Seeing him upset had been nearly enough to break it.
Leaving him would tear it in two.
“Then it’s okay,” she said. “I’ll handle your dad.”
“What if he doesn’t want me?” Rusty asked.
Blake had handed him the divorce papers, after all. Asked to be friends.
If he wanted Rusty to stay, would he have done that?
“Then you come home, and I’ll have as much Neapolitan ice cream and Ice Magic as you can eat waiting for you. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.”
It sounded so simple when she put it that way.
Maybe it was. Maybe it really could be that easy, and Rusty had been letting all the things he thought he was supposed to do get in the way.
He hadn’t realized how unhappy he was until he came out here. Until Blake made him smile and laugh so much his face hurt.
“Love is rare,” his mother added. “Rare and precious. If you’ve got it, you’d be wise to hang onto it with both hands. You deserve it, Rusty. You deserve all the beautiful things in the world.”
Rusty didn’t know how his mother always knew exactly what to say, but it was a skill he hoped he’d inherit one day.
“Thanks, mum,” he said softly.
“Let me know how it goes,” she said. “I’ll be up late.”
“I will.” Rusty smiled to himself, glad that at least someone was on his side.
His dad could handle not getting his own way for once. He was getting an extra son out of the deal, if it went the way Rusty was hoping.
He should have been grateful.
Rusty hung up the phone, taking a deep breath as he shoved it into the pocket of the sweatpants he’d gone to bed in.
If Blake said no, he was leaving today anyway.
If he said yes…
Well, Rusty really hoped he’d say yes, on account of being in love with him.