10
Faye
A
s we stood outside the drama studio waiting to go in for our audition, I felt glad that Angelo was with me. He wasn’t here because he wanted to be in the play, there was no way he wanted to be Romeo, he just wanted to gently push me into something that I already wanted. And thank goodness for that because if he wasn’t here, I would have run about a million times already.
“Are you okay?” he asked me for what felt like the hundredth time. “You nervous?”
Angelo reached out my hand and he squeezed it gently. It was only a friendly gesture, but it reminded me of the attraction that pulled us together when we were out shopping. An electricity sizzled between us and it made me feel all weird inside. I wanted to lean in, to see where this could lead, but I’d been burned before and the last thing I wanted was to go through this whole experience again.
“I’m fine,” I replied through chattering teeth. “All good. Excited for this.”
I didn’t know that I was, already I wanted to dive back behind the camera and to stay there forever more. It was safe there, I wasn’t exposed. This was all too much.
“Well, you look really good.” Angelo gave me an appreciative look. “That dress is nice.”
It was the one that Maddie had picked out at the end of our shopping trip. I hadn’t noticed it at the time because I was all raw and muddy inside, but today felt like the best time to debut it. It was navy blue, skater style, it clung to my hips and splayed out around my knees. It definitely wasn’t the sort of thing that I would have picked out for myself, but I had to admit that it felt good.
“Oh, thank you very much. I wanted a boost of confidence today…”
I was just about to make a comment about Angelo looking good too, but I didn’t get the chance to because someone peeked their head out the room and they called me to come inside. It was time. Angelo gave me a reassuring nod and a smile, mooring me when I felt like I was drowning.
I can do this, I told myself as I stepped up onto the stage under the spotlight. It wasn’t a proper light like it would be if I were to get the role, but it was enough to have my heart hammering in my chest and my throat squeezing shit. Just do this, Faye, just try. What’s the worst that can happen?
I shook my head, wanting to rid my brain of ideas of the worst that could happen. That wasn’t a good line of thought at all. I just needed to concentrate on the piece in front of me.
“Hi there, Faye,” a theatre girl looked up at me with a smile. “Are you ready to begin?”
I wasn’t sure that I was, but I nodded anyway. I didn’t want to drag this on any longer than I had to because I knew that I’d end up talking myself out of it. “I’m ready.”
I launched into the speech from Romeo and Juliet that I’d ben practicing in secret before today. I tried to forget that I was anywhere but in my room alone, standing in front of the mirror, but I wasn’t sure that it worked. I kept hearing a tremor in my voice as I spoke which was humiliating. I coughed a couple of times, trying to cover it up, but still the theatre kids could hear it, I was sure.
“Thank you, Faye,” the same girl said as soon as I finished talking. “We’ll put up a list at the end of the week with the people who have been selected and what role they will take on.”
I nodded slowly and walked from the stage with a large sense of achievement with me. Maybe I wouldn’t make it, maybe I wasn’t good enough but I’d tried. I took a step out of my box and done something that before I met Angelo seemed utterly impossible to me. He’d changed me, without even realizing it he had turned me into something else, someone surprisingly brave.
I stood back outside the room, waiting for him to go in. I couldn’t believe that he was still going through with this even though I’d been in now. He could have easily changed his mind at the last moment but he didn’t. He went through with it, sticking to his word.
I shook my head and smiled to myself, impressed with the sort of person that he was. Angelo definitely wasn’t the person that others suggested he was. I could see why they would think that, I’d had times of thinking that myself, but now I knew the truth. He was a great person, really amazing.
“Well, that was a disaster,” Angelo declared with a flair as he shoved the door back open. “I don’t think I’ll be seeing my name on that list when it comes out. I bet we see yours though.”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up about that, but thank you.”
“Well, I’m still taking you out for dinner tonight, you don’t have to worry about that.” He linked his arm through mine and smiled at me. “And maybe a bottle of champagne as well. How does that sound? You deserve it after being so brave today.”
My chest swelled with warmth and pride as he said that to me. He didn’t have to care about me in such an awesome way, but he did. This bond was building every single minute and I had a feeling that it was going to be everlasting. But only as friends of course, every weird moment that we shared was just that… a weird moment.
“That sounds awesome, thanks, Angelo. Shall we say around six?”
“I’ll be there to pick you up at six. Looking forward to it.”
I dusted some make up across my face while singing along to the song on the radio. Happiness swam through my body rapidly as I prepared myself for what promised to be an awesome evening.
“You’re happy,” Rhiannon commented as she sat next to Tia on her bed. “What’s going on?”
“She’s hanging out with Angelo again.” I could hear the eye roll in Tia’s voice. She wasn’t impressed with any of this. “Just like she is all the time. I don’t ever see her anymore, do you?”
“Oh come on, it isn’t for much longer,” I insisted while continuing to get dressed. “I finish filming soon. Yeah I am hanging out with him tonight, but that isn’t what I’m happy about. I’m just excited that I auditioned for Romeo and Juliet today. I might be on the stage soon enough.”
“I didn’t know you liked acting.” I glanced over as my friends shot each other strange looks. “Are you serious? I thought you preferred to be behind the scenes, working the camera.”
“I do, but I’m just trying something new. I always used to love acting, so I’m giving it a go.”
“You have changed since you started hanging out with Angelo.” Rhiannon sounded shocked. “Tia is right. You must be, like, in love with him to change so much. I mean, you’re even dressing differently. What the hell is going on, Faye? How do I not know about all of this?”
“It isn’t like that.” I shrugged my shoulders, refusing to let any of this overshadow my happiness. “I like Angelo as a friend, nothing more. It’s Kevin that I’m attracted to.”
“Oh yeah, I remember Kevin,” Rhiannon mused. “He’s hot. Why aren’t you hanging out with him instead of Angelo? Surely that would be more beneficial.”
“Oh don’t you worry, I will be. Once I’m done filming this Player of the Month thing with Angelo, I’ll be spending the following month with Kevin. Then we’ll see what happens.”
I tugged my leather skirt down at bit and fiddled with the white tee shirt until it fit my body perfectly. I didn’t much look like the girl I was not that long ago, but I liked who I had become. This was the person I’d been deep inside for ages and I was just coming to the surface now at the right time.
“Hmm, I don’t think you’re as excited about that as you’re pretending to be,” Rhiannon continued. “I think you’re falling for Angelo more than you care to admit.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I remained silent. There certainly was a bit of me that didn’t want to give up hanging out so intensely with Angelo just yet, even for Kevin, but I didn’t exactly know what that meant. Even when I said to him that we could still spend time together I knew that it wasn’t ever going to be the same. We wouldn’t be as close which was a shame. I liked his company, I enjoyed being his friend. Having Angelo’s focus on me was like the heat of the sun.
“Anyway, whatever I need to go now. Angelo will be here to pick me up soon.”
He was supposed to come to meet me at the room, but I didn’t want to have any interaction with him in front of my friends because they would only delve into it deeper. They would overanalyze every word that we said to one another and turn it into something huge. I felt all messy myself when it came to Angelo, I didn’t want to make it worse.
I like Kevin, I reminded myself as I walked towards the front door while I went to meet him. I’m attracted to Kevin and I have been for a very long time. Angelo is just a distraction, nothing more.
But as he arrived and I spotted him in the distance, my heart skipped about ten beats and I became even less sure about my emotions. It didn’t help that he was so gorgeous it hurt, and lovely too. He was the perfect parcel of a man, even if he didn’t always seem that way.
“Hey there, looking good!” Angelo held out his arm and I linked mine through his. “You’re one of the best looking dates that I’ve ever had the pleasure of taking out.”
“Oh well, I could say the same about you!” He’d gone all out, wearing a shirt and trousers. For a college student, that was a massive statement. “You look really good, Angelo, especially since you totally screwed up your life long dream of acting.”
We both laughed loudly, sharing in the sort of in joke that could only come from an incredible bond. As we walked towards the edge of campus where the cab was coming to pick us up, I felt a sense that we were on a real date. I had a feeling this would end up being one of the most romantic nights of my life… and we were only friends.
Maybe it was time to accept that I didn’t just like Kevin anymore, that I might like Angelo too. That complicated things massively, and complicated wasn’t what I was looking for. I just wanted someone to have a good time with, someone to pick me up and finally put my heart ache to bed once and for all. I didn’t know if this was the way to do it, it already felt like it was headed towards disaster.
“Yeah, I can’t believe I’m never going to be on the stage,” Angelo sighed in mock disappointment. “I suppose I’ll have to get rip roaring drunk to make up for it.”
“I’ll join you on that one. I don’t know if I’ve messed it up yet either. It felt like it went okay ish, but you never know.” I shook my head rapidly, trying to get rid of those thoughts. “So, yeah let’s get drunk.”