5
Angelo
A
fter scoring the winning goal at the football game I was flying higher than air, I felt so good about myself that I couldn’t wait to let off some steam. Plenty of people had caught the end of the game on their cameras so it would be up on YouTube tonight for the world to see. Hopefully some football scouts would see too and my phone would eventually start ringing. I kept waiting for that day to happen but it hadn’t just yet. I had time, but it still felt like that deadline was looming.
“Great game,” one of my teammates, Billy, clapped me on the back and said. “Good goal.”
“Thanks, man.” I ripped off my top and prepared to step into the shower to wash off the sheen of sweat that covered me. “We played well as a team. Looking forward to the party tonight.”
“I thought it was a bit preemptive of Dimitri to arrange a celebration party when we hadn’t even won yet, but it looks like he was right again. I should trust that dude so much more!”
“You know the party is only an excuse for the filming to begin, don’t you?” Kevin interjected. “He wants to get this whole Player of the Month thing up and running as soon as possible.”
I snapped my head around and stared at Kevin with wide shocked eyes. “What the fuck are you on about? There’s no way that’s starting today. We only hired Faye earlier on. She doesn’t want to begin today.” I couldn’t deal with that bullshit, not while I was trying to let loose. “You aren’t right.”
“I am.” Kevin furrowed his eyebrows at me. “Did you not hear Dimitri say it before? We’re going to be doing a lot more of these before he gets bored of the idea. He wants us to look like we do all kinds of events where we look like we’re having fun and getting along.” Kevin rolled his eyes dramatically at me. “It’s all bullshit, but it’s the best way to keep Dimitri happy.”
Anger burned in my chest as it became really clear that Kevin wasn’t winding me up. He actually meant it, Dimitri planned for Faye to be there with her camera tonight focusing on me. As if I didn’t have enough bullshit going on in my life right now, I still hadn’t fully recovered from the emotional breakdown I had when hooking up with Marissa recently. I planned to get over that slump and forget all about the weirdness that scanned through my brain by picking up someone new.
“Dimitri,” I yelled angrily. “Dimitri, get here you little snake. I need to talk to you.”
I heard scuffling coming through the room, and guys parting to let him get to me. It was obvious that I was pissed and no one wanted to get in the way of that. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as boiling hot blood raced through my body as I waited for him to get to me.
“What the fuck is going on with this bullshit, Dimitri?” I threw my hands up in the air in frustration. “I heard that you’re planning to have Faye filming the party.”
“Yeah… I told you that earlier on. That’s why we’re having the party… I don’t see what the problem is?” He folded his arms defensively across his chest. “You need to do stuff like this. It needs to be really real for the audience. They need to know that you have an active social life.”
“This isn’t real,” I exploded. “This is so fake. You’re creating a party to film and I just want to have fun tonight, to blow off some steam. I don’t want to be worrying about being watched.”
I wanted to reach out and grab Dimitri around the throat to strangle him, but of course I couldn’t. This didn’t really warrant violence anyway, I just didn’t like it. I might have been mad but I didn’t ever actually lash out. I wasn’t ever one of the ones in a fight over some girl.
“She can stay for a bit, but I don’t want her around for long,” I warned Dimitri. “I have just played an intense game, now I need to have some fun. It isn’t fair for you to wreck that for me.”
“This isn’t really just about you… it’s all of us that need to do this…”
“Urgh!” The rage got the better of me and I balled up my fists, but still I didn’t do anything. “I’m sure you’ll get the same reaction from everyone else as you have me. It’s so lame.”
Dimitri made a wise choice at that moment and he turned to walk away. I hadn’t really changed anything, but at least Faye wouldn’t be around for long now. I would still have time to find some random chick to have fun with. I needed to go for someone different, hopefully someone that I hadn’t even spoke to before because clearly going back again and again to the same person wasn’t helping. It was probably that screwing me up, making me think that maybe I might want more.
“Right, fuck it.,” I muttered to myself as I grabbed hold of a fresh towel to take with me to the shower. “Get dressed, get this bullshit filming out the way then have a good time.”
“That’s the spirit,” Kevin chuckled, seemingly forgetting that he was going to be next for this torture. Voluntary as well! “I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Nothing to worry about at all.”
My mood remained sour, it didn’t matter who talked to me and tried to drag me out of it. I was in a foul place, which probably wasn’t conducive to what Dimitri wanted, but maybe if I screwed up he would see that in the future filming had to be on my terms or it just wouldn’t work.
Actually, that wasn’t a terrible idea. Maybe messing things up would help me in the long run…
The music pumped loudly threw my veins, almost rattling my ear drums as it went. Usually I liked the thumping beats, they got me in the mood for a really good night, but today I couldn’t get into it. I wasn’t sure if it was Marissa and the way that she was dancing with Billy in front of me to wind me up. I knew that it was for my benefit because she continually shot me looks as she did it. This was the sort of crazy shit that I expected from Cathy, not Marissa. Maybe she wasn’t as cool as I thought.
“Will you smile?” Dimitri hissed at me. “Remember you’re on camera here. This is supposed to be the first video exposing more of the real you. You don’t want to be seen as a grumpy bastard.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I muttered childishly while slugging back my drink. I didn’t care about Dimitri and his plan. “This is your thing, not mine. I really think that you need to remember that.”
“You agreed to it.” He sounded bewildered. “You were all for it and also you were the one who was made keen to hire Faye to do the job. Now she’s awkwardly in the corner trying to get some good shots of you and you really aren’t giving her anything. You’re being really dull.”
I snapped my eyes over to Faye realizing that she looked really uncomfortable. She had the shoulders raised, shifty eyes look of someone that hadn’t ever been to a college party before. I suppose that made sense since she was clearly a more studious girl, but it seemed strange to me that she didn’t know how to socialize at all. Like even a little bit. Even as people approached her she seemed awkward.
I felt bad for dragging her into this, but I guess I didn’t realize quite how invasive it was going to feel. I needed to put us both out of our misery by sending her away.
“I’ll sort this out,” I grunted to Dimitri as I stood up. “Just you wait and see.”
Dimitri made a noise like he wasn’t quite done with me, but I had nothing left that I wanted to say to him. I made a beeline for Faye, ignoring absolutely everyone on the way to her, including Marissa who had now upped her game more than anything. She making out with and dry humping Billy like there was no tomorrow, but I didn’t care. It irritated me, but I wasn’t bothered.
“Faye, I think it’s time for you to go now,” I said with a shaky angry voice. “This whole film thing really isn’t working today. I don’t want any of this to end up on YouTube. I’m just done.”
“Oh.” Her camera fell down and her whole expression sunk. I could tell that I’d hurt her, but that didn’t change anything. I needed to remain strong to get the hell rid of her. “Right. I see. It’s just that Dimitri told me that this was supposed to be my first day and that it was important…”
“Yeah well fuck Dimitri,” I hissed back, taking my anger towards him out on the wrong person. “I don’t give a shit about what he said to you. I don’t want to do this today. I wasn’t warned about it in advance and I’m not in the mood today. I just want to have some fun.”
“Can’t I just get five minutes of you doing something interesting?” she pleaded with me. “Just for an introductory piece? I really don’t want to let Dimitri down, I need to keep this job.”
“Look, Faye…” I tugged my hands through my hair as frustration got the better of me. “I don’t mean to be a dick but I want to get wasted and hook up with someone. I don’t want that on film.”
She parted her lips, trying to argue with me, but instead she leaned across and looked over my shoulder to where Dimitri was sitting. I turned to see him mouthing furiously at her, telling her not to go which only wound me up further. He didn’t seem to give a shit about my feelings at all.
“Don’t pay any attention to Dimitri,” I insisted. “He’s an asshole, I don’t want to do this so I’m not going to. Whatever he says, my opinion won’t change. I want you to go.”
Faye’s eyes welled up, and I could tell that I’d gone too far. I wanted to apologize, but I also needed her to leave and if I had to cruel to make that happen, then so be it. I made all my insides squirm painfully but I stood my ground and I stared her down, internally begging her to just go.
“Please, let me just do this. You don’t understand how much I need this position.”
I shook my head, refusing to back down. I needed Dimitri to see that he couldn’t control what I did. “No, I’ll do an interview with you tomorrow instead, yeah? In the afternoon.”
“I can’t do tomorrow afternoon,” she practically whispered back to me. “I have an extra credit photography class. I don’t want to blow you off but it’s the only time I can do.”
I rolled my eyes, wondering why this was so difficult. “In the evening them. Whatever.”
“Yeah okay.” She wiped a stray tear from underneath her eyes. “Can you explain it to Dimitri?”
“Sure yeah, I’ll explain it to him in a way that he will understand!”
With that she ran from the room, leaving me alone with only my ice cold guilt for comfort. I acted wrongly then, I did something incredibly hurtful. Somehow I would have to find a way to make it up to her. I didn’t know how, but I’d been an asshole and I needed to be better… but not today.