IT’S THE NEXT NIGHT, AND my eyes are scanning every inch of the bar as I walk through the door.
Looking for her.
I closed up the shop as soon as the last customer left. Barely even saying goodbye before I was locking the door at their back. Needing to get the fuck out of there and across the street to see a certain angel who’s had me spinning all wild since I met her three days ago.
In Ruins has always been my home away from home since I opened Inked Souls. And each night I’d prowl the talent to secure my lay for the night. So no matter what, I’d be here.
But since I’ve laid eyes on Kennedy, there’s no way I could stay away. Because I need to see her. Especially since I kept my distance the last couple of nights in hopes I could shake her from my mind.
It didn’t work.
My skin is itching like a junkie needing a hit. Running into her yesterday morning not doing anything to quell the urge and want I have for seeing her, talking to her.
Moving through the crowded space—the nightlife never dying down no matter the night of the week—I head toward the bar and my usual place at the end. Hoping I’ll spot her before she sees me.
But before I can make it, pink-painted nails are fisting my shirt as a drunken squeal pierces the air. “The infamous Rhett Shaw. Thought you’d never arrive. Been waitin’ and ready and willin’ for hours now.”
Not again.
I grunt and pull her claws from my clothes. “No thanks.” My voice lost in disinterest as my eyes keep scanning and looking.
The girl releases her hands and takes a step back, but only one, barely giving me any space. “Looking for a rebound and figured you’d be just the guy.” She purrs, trying to act sexy, but only sounding like a damn child.
Her hands lift again to run down my chest, but I step back and shake my head. “Meant it. Not interested.”
As the words leave my mouth, a flash of light and honey-brown hair catch my attention. I look over the drunk girl’s head to see that sweet ass power walking by me. Head down, quiet murmurs of excuse me slipping past pouty, pink lips as she goes.
There it is again. That kick drum beat way down deep in my chest.
Thumping and banging against my ribs. Trying to bust free.
The girl lets out a disbelieving scoff as I move around her and continue cutting a path through the pressing, drunken bodies on my way to Kennedy.
Following the path of light her halo casts in her wake.
As I make it to the bar, I see my sister’s bright red hair flashing life behind it as she works. She doesn’t notice me, too busy filling orders being shouted from left and right, her smile stretched wide as she chatters about with the patrons. She lives for this.
I slide onto my always-vacant stool and spin, my back to the bar top. Tracking my angel from table to table. Not being able to take my eyes off of her now that they’ve found her.
Tight, black jeans and matching In Ruins tank top hug her lean yet voluptuous body.
But it’s more than that. More than her gorgeous face and golden hair and tight, stacked figure. It’s the way just being in her presence seems to calm a restlessness I never even realized I felt. The way my soul settles for the first time since my parents passed.
The way my heart beats triple time just for her.
Fuck. I’m gone and can’t bring myself to care.
How is it even possible? One look, a couple of barely-there conversations, and she has me feeling things I swore I’d never feel. Things that shouldn’t be possible in three days.
“Always seem to be drooling these days, big brother.” Saylor’s voice snaps me from my thoughts. Looking over to her, I see she’s pointing to my chin with her eyebrows raised, a shit-eating grin on her face.
I drop my brow in a glare before turning to track Kennedy once again. That innate, protective instinct and need to watch over her blaring wild until I spot her.
“Ya know, she won’t disappear if you stop looking at her for a second.” I turn again at the sound of my sister’s voice, but only because of the accompanying clink of my beer bottle hitting the bar top.
I grunt in way of a reply. Bottle to my lips as I take a swig.
“Heard about your run-in with Kennedy and that creep yesterday morning at the cafe,” she says nonchalantly.
That gets my attention. “What’d she say?”
“Oh, just that you went all caveman on the situation.”
“She say that?” I ask. Surprised.
“Not in so many words. But it’s all the same. Said you were threatening to rip the guy apart.”
Thinking back on it now, I wish I had. “She looked uncomfortable when I walked in; fucker tried to touch her when I was standing there.” I shrug. “I wasn’t having any of it. So I made it known. Was she pissed?”
“No.” Saylor draws out the word. “She was glad you were there to scare off the creep, but I think the way you make her feel confuses her. From every talk we’ve had, men are the furthest thing from her radar. But you, big brother, have her sirens blaring.”
Before either of us can say anything else, my skin prickles with awareness; I feel her before I see her. Then, from the small smile on Saylor’s face, I know she’s standing right behind me, making her way to pick up another round.
As soon as the patron to my right gets his drink in hand, he’s moving on, making room for Kennedy to place her tray down and look to Saylor.
“Two cosmos and a tall draft Miller Lite. Please,” she adds on with a smile.
“You got it, doll.”
She stands there as Saylor fills her order, looking everywhere but to her left. Not giving me the time of day. And I’m sure as shit not letting her get away with it.
“Angel,” I rumble out simply. Fully turned toward her now so when the slight blush rises on her cheeks, I see it. Satisfaction settles deep knowing I have that effect on her.
She breathes deeply, I both see and hear it, before turning to face me. Her cheeks are still flushed, but she damn sure tries to hide it with a blank expression. But I can see beneath it. I can see her.
The curiosity. The want. But also, the agitation and fear.
What’s got you hiding, angel?
“Hey, Rhett,” she says softly.
I swear her voice is like a balm to my fucking soul.
“Must be my lucky night, walking in and seeing you’re workin’.”
She turns from me then, watching Saylor mingle and mix up her drink order, and I swear I catch sight of her rolling her eyes as she does. A little bit of fire under all that soft.
“Look, about what happened yesterday at the cafe—” before I can finish, she’s looking at me again and cutting me off to speak.
“Don’t even worry about it.” She shakes her head. “I overreacted. It’s fine, really.” She tries to play it off. But I could see it, how upset she was that that punk-ass kid was near her.
“Well I wanted you to know anyway, I didn’t mean any disrespect. Saw that guy, looked like he was bothering you, so I had to step in.”
Her face seems to soften a bit—more accepting. “I really did appreciate that. Thank you again.”
I smile at her. “No thanks needed, angel.”
Not wanting to lose her attention while Saylor continues to fill her order, especially now that it seems as though we’re on even ground, I ask, “How’re you liking Sunvale so far? Getting settled alright?” I’m hoping the simple questions will lead to some small talk instead of the avoidance she was dishing out to me the other night. It’s only been five days since she came into town, but it feels like a lifetime.
Like she’s always belonged here. With me.
She eyes me like I have an ulterior motive but answers anyway. “I like it, thank you. Saylor and Gus have been very welcoming. People seem friendly. The town is beautiful.”
I scoff lightheartedly and feign hurt, leaning back with a hand to my chest. “Now, angel. You wound me. I’ve been nothing but welcoming since you waltzed your pretty little self into town.”
There goes that shutter again. Trapping down tight.
The small smile she had begun to wear at my cheesy dramatics completely diminished after I started talking.
What did I say now?
Just when I go to apologize for saying whatever I said to upset her, Saylor steps in. “Got your order, girlie.” She gives a bright smile to Kennedy before it slips from her face as she eyes me. Her vibe telling me to shut the hell up!
Taking a sip of my nearly forgotten beer, I do just that.
“Thanks, Say.” Kennedy hesitates a second before looking back to me quickly. “Nice seeing you again, Rhett.”
Why can’t I help but feel like seeing me is the last thing she wanted?
“Can you ever keep your damn trap shut?” I look over from watching Kennedy walk away—again—to see Saylor giving me her evil eye. Dark eyes just like mine glaring into slits.
“I don’t even know what the hell I said to upset her!”
“Ever think to stop mentioning how damn pretty you think she is?”
What? “You’re telling me complimenting her is what’s upsetting her?” Chicks normally dig that shit.
“How many times do I have to tell you that she isn’t like the girls you typically go for? I’ve told you time and again, and I mean it.” Saylor’s voice goes from stern to gentle as she settles me with another look. This time full of understanding. “Kennedy’s vulnerable, Rhett. I told you her past wasn’t easy and despite how she looks—more like in spite of them—she’s quite reserved and likes to be in the shadows.”
“What aren’t you telling me, Say?”
“It isn’t my place to tell you her story. And to be honest, I’m pretty sure I don’t even know the half of it. But from what I do know, she wants people to see beneath her exterior and focus more on what makes her, her.”
“Jesus Christ, Say.”
She gives me a sympathetic look. “It’s okay, big brother. I know it’s a lot and probably more than you expected. But it’s better you know now so you can walk away before you couldn’t.”
Walk away? Who the fuck is she fooling?
“It isn’t that, Saylor.” I run my hands through my hair, then down my face. “It’s like I’m all fucking in with this girl. Five days she’s been in town, I’ve known who she is for four, and I’m hook, line, and sinker type gone over her. And it isn’t just because she is literally the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen. It’s more than that. I can’t put it all into words, because I don’t understand it all myself, but when I looked at her I saw so much more than her beautiful exterior. When I looked into her eyes, it was like I was finally fucking home—as much of a pussy as that makes me sound, it’s the goddamn truth. She settles something deep in me—for me—and has me feeling and wanting things I’ve been trying to stay clear from for years now.”
I shake my head. Not fucking believing I just spilled my heart out to my little sister in a bar. But that’s what Kennedy’s got me feeling. All shook up and off-kilter. Having me doing and saying things I never would have done or said before.
“I think you did a damn fine job explainin’,” she says quietly with tears in her eyes and a small smile on her face. “Looks like my big brother is finally growing up,” she adds in. Full of sass as always.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I reply before turning on my stool. Seeking her out.
My angel.
Why oh why can’t my heart settle down?
Whenever I’m in a near vicinity of that man, my heart goes wild and my tummy flutters as if a herd of buffalo is running loose.
There’s just something about Rhett Shaw that sets my body and soul on fire. Even after just four days.
And I can’t play off that it’s my usual MO when a man pays me attention.
Because it’s not.
It’s so much more than that bubble of excitement I’d feel whenever I’d let my heart get ahead of my mind and would make my body react to the potential of being wanted for all the right reasons.
It’s so much more than that twinge of hope that this time I may finally belong.
This time is just so much more that it feels like it could be…real. And that’s more terrifying than anything else.
After dropping off the latest round of drinks, I see that all my tables are good, so I take a minute to run to the ladies’ room and take care of business that I’ve been holding for a few hours now. After washing and drying my hands, I start back down the hallway to make it back to the main room when a large wall of muscle stops me in my tracks.
I startle a second before I realize who it is.
“Sorry, angel. Didn’t mean to frighten you.” Rhett tucks his tattooed hands into the front pockets of his dark wash jeans, causing the charcoal gray henley he’s wearing to stretch tight across his impossibly large chest.
My heart and lower belly two-step at the sight.
I clear my throat before answering, “It-It’s okay.”
“I came back here to apologize—again.”
Apologize? “For what?” I ask. Confused.
“For earlier. Seems I said something that upset you. Was never my intention, so I’m sorry.”
My eyes slide closed for a moment thinking back on our brief conversation not too long ago at the bar. I know men look at me and see the outer package, and I know it should be flattering to have such an attractive man compliment your looks, but it seems to sting something fierce having Rhett point out my exterior when all I’ve ever wanted was someone to see my heart.
“There’s no need to apologize, Rhett. You didn’t upset me,” I say through a shake of my head. Trying to play off my issues.
“Didn’t seem that way. I saw the way you shifted from light to tense in the blink of an eye.”
I startle a bit at his statement. Wondering if it’s true. Can he really see me?
“I never want to be the cause of you feeling that way. Not ever, Kennedy.”
The sincerity in his tone and on his face makes my heart melt a little. “Really. It’s okay.” I try to make my words just as sincere so he knows he did nothing wrong. Because he didn’t. It’s my own hang-ups and insecurities.
His dark eyes scan my face, looking for any signs of me lying I’d say. And when he doesn’t find any, a small smile blooms across his full lips. “I’m glad we could clear the air then, angel.”
I blush. I know I do. I can feel the heat rise on my cheeks.
His smile turns into a full-blown grin at seeing how he affects me.
We stand in silence for what feels like minutes but can only be seconds. His eyes roam my face like they did only moments ago, never going lower than my chin, taking in every feature. This time, instead of worry and concern marring his handsome face, he’s looking at me with interest and want.
My skin rises with goosebumps because of it.
“I’d love to take you out sometime.” His hands come out of his pockets to fold his arms across his chest as he rests a shoulder against the wall behind him.
Casual. Slightly arrogant.
Completely addicting. But I can’t go there.
My back stiffens at his statement. “Excuse me?”
“I’d love to take you out. Let me take you.”
I shake my head. “I’m flattered, really. But I’m not looking for anything right now.” I’ve got to focus on me and finding myself without chasing the affections of a man.
His relaxed position changes. He drops his arms and takes a step toward me. “Just a chance, Kennedy. Let me show you the kind of man I can be for you.”
“And what kind of man is that?” I ask, intrigued yet slightly peeved that he can’t let this go. Doesn’t he know he’s making this hard on me?
“A good one. One who will adore and cherish you.” Gosh, he’s laying it on thick. “One who will want you for you, every inch inside and out. One who will devote his time and attention to you and only you.”
At his persistence, I finally find my voice.
“After watching that girl fall all over you earlier and noticing every other one drooling at the sight of you?” I shake my head. “A definite no.”
Because a guy like that, who gets around with a reputation like his, will be nothing but heartbreak. Something I can’t take another ounce of.
And with him, I don’t think I’d survive.
“Angel…”
God, the way that endearment slips past his full, stubble-lined lips has my soul quaking. Beckoning him closer and closer.
But not just the outside and what it can offer between the sheets. But me, my mind and heart and soul.
Lifting my chin and steeling my spine, I keep my tone and stare blank. Disinterested. When my heart is anything but. “I’m sure that look and those words usually have ladies falling at your feet, and because of that, my answer is and will always be no.”
Not sparing another look in his direction, I make my way to check on my tables, my heart racing like a stampede of wild horses.
It’s only been four days, but Rhett’s already wearing me down, making me think. Something I can’t afford to let happen because I can’t let him have me falling.
From the swarm of butterflies taking flight in my belly, I know with him there’d be no getting back up if I did.