RYAN

I’m busy setting up for my next appointment when the doorbell rings and the sound of Nadia’s voice booms through the front lobby. Her cheery tone as she sings a good morning has the guys grumbling and a smile stretching across my face.

A few seconds later, I hear her knocking on the door as I turn to look at her short five-foot nothing frame.

“Hey,” I say, pulling out the cleaning disinfectant to clean my station.

Nadia crosses the room, perching her hands on the edge of the counter before jumping up to take a seat. Her legs swing back and forth as she stares at me, waiting for me to say more. I know what she’s doing here, what she’s hoping to achieve, but I decide to make her beg a little.

“Cut to the chase. I want all the deets.” She smiles, running her finger along her lower lip, waiting.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know I hate that shit. Spit it the fuck out already,” she finishes with a grin.

“I’m really not sure what you’re talkin’ about, but if you don’t mind I have a client who should be here soon.”

“Yeah, actually, I do mind. You might want to hurry and spit it out if you don’t want to be late,” she says, reclining back against the wall, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m not planning on going anywhere until you tell me what I want to hear.”

Spinning around on my heel, I narrow my eyes at Nadia and toss my gloves down on the counter. The move earns me a loud giggle as I roll my eyes at her.

“There’s really not much to tell. We hung out for a little bit and I gave him a ride home.”

“Don’t even try to lie to me, Ryan. You’re terrible at it, you know that? I want to know the real deal. How many times did you two fuck? Did he go down on you? Was it everything you ever dreamed of and more?”

I hear Chris from the other side of the shop, his chair scraping across the floor as the music turns down. My head peeks over my shoulder as he holds the needle in one hand and his black gloved hand in the other. The look on his face says what I’m thinking, “what the hell is wrong with this girl?”

“It’s nothing for you to be worried about,” I say, raising my eyebrows before looking back at Nadia as I reach over to shut the door as Chris yells out a fuck you. Nadia flashes me an innocent smile, one that says she isn’t the least bit sorry for involving one of my good friends in this conversation.

“Once and yes,” I say, turning back around to finish setting up for my appointment.

“Yes, he went down on you or yes it was everything you’ve dreamed of?”

“Seriously?”

“As a heart attack. You promised, spill it.”

“Yes, he went down on me.”

I decide to ignore her other question, not wanting to get into how perfect the night had been. We were almost frantic in our reunion. It was as though we couldn’t get enough of each other.

“You’re a buzzkill. This isn’t at all as exciting as I’d pictured it to be.”

I smother my smile knowing how annoyed she is that I’m holding out on her.

“Alright, well, if you’re not going to tell me what happened, will you at least tell me if you’re planning on seeing him again?”

That was a question I had no problem answering.

“He said he’s planning on staying in town for about a week and the plan is to spend time together while he’s here.”

As soon as the words pass my lips, the sound of the door ringing again has me opening the door to see who it is, wondering if it’s my next appointment. I glance over at Nadia when I see my brother’s large, stocky frame stalking toward us.

The moment her eyes fall on Dean’s, as she turns back toward me, looking equally annoyed as she is sad. As much as she tries to act like she doesn’t like Dean, I know it’s the exact opposite. She’s always had the biggest crush on him, even back when we were in high school.

“Ryan,” he says, resting his hands above the doorway before glancing over to where Nadia is sitting. A slow smile spreads across his face when he sees her sitting there, legs still swaying to the beat of the music playing overhead. This time though, she’s looking down at her phone using it as a way to distract her from looking at him. It’s a ploy to ignore him, to act like she’s unaffected by his presence.

This girl has always had guys falling all over themselves to get her attention and when the one she wants does, she acts like he doesn’t exist. Something happened with her and Dean back in the day, although she’s never told me enough to fill in the blanks. With the way she just interrogated me about Maverick, I’d love to give her a dose of her own medicine, but there’s something about the pain she’s had on her face when she saw him tells me it would be a dangerous path to go down.

“What are you doing back in town?”

“I had to come back to get some things settled at Compass Security. I’ll be heading back to Chicago on Monday,” he says, pausing and looking back over at Nadia again. He’s waiting for her to look up, to give him even a second of attention. He doesn’t like how she’s blowing him off, and I can’t fault her for doing it.

His eyes look back over to me, his gaze adjusting from the way his eyes narrowed at Nadia back to me. He bites down on his lower lip, clearly lost in his thoughts before he continues.

“Listen, I have something I want to talk to you about before I head back out.”

I put the rest of my stuff down, giving him my full attention.

“What’s up?”

“Um, so I was just by the office and I ran into Maverick,” he says, pausing as he gauges my reaction. He’s trying to put his feelers out, to see how I’m going to react to the news.

Knowing where this is going, I cross my arms over my chest and give him my undivided attention. Nodding my head, I wave my hand out in front of me to urge him to continue.

“He was there with Graham. I should’ve told you about this before, but his dad passed away. I just wanted you to be aware he’s in town, just in case you run into each other. Everton isn’t all that big, so it’s possible.”

The sound of Nadia’s sputtered laughter interrupts us, as my head jolts toward where she’s sitting. Her phone is long since put away and her bright smile is stretched across her face, loving how my brother is seemingly clueless.

My eyes bug out at her, silently asking her to shut up. She’d love more than anything to point out to him how wrong he is about the whole situation.

Dean narrows his eyes before glancing back at me. I can see the questions swirling around in his head, wondering what the hell is going on.

“It’s fine, Dean. You have nothing to worry about,” I say, doing my best to reassure him despite my history with Maverick, there’s nothing for him to be concerned over.

He remembers how hard it was for me after Mav left. Hell, I still remember how difficult it was for him to move past hearing the news his best friend had not only grown feelings and had a romantic relationship, if that’s what you can even call it, with his sister, but after he got the news, the same best friend ended up running out of town.

Dean has admitted to me on more than one occasion he’s sorry for the way he reacted and for any damage he may have done that led to Maverick leaving town. I know he’s talked to Maverick about it after he left; he’s told me about their conversations. Mav has reassured him his departure had nothing to do with their fight and everything to do with what went down with his dad.

“Listen, I know how much he means to you. As much as you both may try to act like you’re not affected by him being in the same town. We’ve been talking to him about staying though, maybe helping Graham get things up and running at Compass Security here. It’s inevitable you’ll run into him. I also know he misses you. So, if you see him, at least give him a chance. Hear him out. Alright?”

As surprised as I am to hear him even acknowledge our feelings, I’m even more surprised to hear they offered him a job. As time went by, I never expected that he would come back, much less come back and stay, although I never gave up hope.

Having Dean acknowledge how much he meant to me tells me he wasn’t oblivious to what was going on over all the years. Despite my best efforts, I have never been able to move on after he left.

Maverick has been the only person who’s been in my heart all these years. He’s the one I’ve craved. I’ve yet to find anyone who makes my body ache the way he does.

“Alright,” I say, not wanting to give him anymore. He may be able to read me, but I can tell he’s not sure what to make of my short, clipped response.

His eyes narrow, waiting for me to say more, before I give him a small smile hoping to reassure him.

I hear him mutter how he has to get back to the office, but to call him later so we can meet up for dinner while he’s still in town. I nod my head and manage to lift my hand to wave at him. My eye catches sight of the heart tattoo on my forearm and I bite my lip thinking about Maverick.

When he saw my ink, he couldn’t keep his mouth off me. I replay the way his tongue danced across my skin. I never expected for something like that to be so erotic; it was almost mind-blowing.

Maverick promised me when he left he’d carry me with him, but I could tell, him finding out how I’ve carried him with me, both broke his heart but brought us together. It felt like we were joined in a way where, although it had been years since we had spoken or even seen each other, nothing had changed.

Things moved so fast between us after the first night he stayed with me, it was almost like that night joined us, cemented who we were to each other so that nothing could change it. No time, no distance, could erase the way I felt about him.

We were sent on a tailspin after Dean found out we had been seeing each other behind his back. If we hadn’t been sneaking around, maybe Mav wouldn’t have been trying to avoid going to the party without him. Maybe he wouldn’t have taken his dad’s truck which led to him getting in trouble and kicked out.

These are the same thoughts that have plagued me for years since he left. If anything would’ve happened differently, would he have stayed? Would we have gotten more time together? Would we be together now?

The sound of Nadia clearing her throat breaks through my thoughts as I glance over at her.

“You want to tell me what that was about?” I ask, probing her about the awkward tension that seems to envelop her when my brother steps into the room.

“You know how much I despise your brother, especially after what happened with you and Maverick.”

“That’s not the full story and you know it.”

“I was there, and I do know. It may not have been the reason he got kicked out, but it’s the reason he left town with nowhere to go, so he bailed. You and I both know it.”

She’s right, as much as I hate to admit it.

All of these questions are driving me nuts, only because I know she’s trying to peel back a layer of a wound I’ve spent so much time trying to heal. She’s trying to expose how I really feel about Maverick being back and I’m not sure I’m ready to go there just yet. I want to close my mind off to it and enjoy having him home. If I let myself feel the emotions I’ve worked to bury deep, I’ll only be left heartbroken when he inevitably leaves.

Instead, I make the decision to soak up whatever time I have left with him, not wanting to let the idea of him staying change what is happening between us. All I’ve wanted was to see him again and now that he’s back, I promise myself I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

I only hope my tattered heart can take it if he walks away again.