Chapter 29
Quaid
It stuns me I’m still surprised it’s been weeks that I haven’t laid eyes on Jessica since the night I left her at her parents’ house. I shouldn’t be surprised at all. We don’t share the same classes. We don’t even have classes in the same buildings, yet every corner I turn, I yearn to see her. Even if only a glimpse. I find myself strolling more often than all the months I’ve been here, to the library. Hoping that I’m able to see her head in a book studying for an exam or gathered around a table with her Pro-Activist group, debating reverently about the next step to take on a new project to better the world. I’d give anything for just a glimpse. But I never see her. She has officially distanced herself from any social gatherings she feels I can attend and any other place she thinks I may go to.
If we were different people, we might have had to confront one another sooner or later. If we ran the same social circles, this would have forced her to see me, but we have no friends in common. Hell we were never friends to begin with. We skipped that step altogether. But inevitably, even though we didn’t start that way, she was the best friend I ever had, and I miss her friendship just as much as I miss holding her in my arms.
I can’t stand it any longer. Each day that passes just seems to get worse, not better. I should be accustomed to not having her near me by now but I refuse to accept it. I can’t. She is the best part of me and letting her go is like letting that part of me die. How can accept that? I can’t.
The worst part is that I know all of this could have been avoided before it turned out to be the mess it is. If only I had come clean on whom Olivia was and ended her mistrust. I told Jess, I would never disrespect her. But I gave a voice to every doubt she ever had that my word was nothing but an empty promise. I want to blame Olivia once again for ruining my life, but I can’t blame her. Not this time. I could have told Jess. I could have gone against my grandmother manipulations of keeping this our little family’s dirty secret and gave into Jess. She deserved the truth from me. She deserved everything and although I wanted to give her the world, I couldn’t even find the balls to go against people that didn’t care about me and ended up hurting the one I cared most. Where were my loyalties then?
But I was confused and heartbroken that my word wasn’t enough to quench her fears. I thought if I showed her how much I loved her it would be enough. But my love wasn’t enough was it? In the end, her doubt was stronger. Could I blame her? If the roles had been reversed and if there was a constant male presence in her life she refused to explain to me, would I have been as trustful of her? Even if she told time and time again how much she only held me in her heart, wouldn’t that small doubt end up killing my trust, my love for her? I wish I didn’t understand where she was coming from, but I did all too well and it kills me how I was the one that ruined us.
My incapability of divulging who I was, my parentage and my whole fabricated history, was the thing that destroyed my future. Because that’s exactly what Jess was to me. My entire future. How many nights did I just look into her eyes and saw my whole life flash by me in pure bliss? The vision of me kneeling in front of her after graduation and asking her to be my wife. The dream of waiting for her as she walked towards me in white with that smile that made me feel ten feet tall? Watching her grow into her skin beside me, planning out how she was going to change the world one day at a time while holding my hand so I could follow each step she took. Being proud of the fact this amazing woman chose me out of everyone else to see her shine every day in all the accomplishments I knew she was destined for. And the dream I hold dearest is the one that breaks my heart each day I don’t feel her bright sun warm my skin. The image of me kissing her swollen belly with my child growing in her, as she plays with my hair and laughs at my corniness at being so enraptured of the life we were building together. I saw it all and lost it in a blink of an eye, because I was so used to keeping that side of me hidden from the world, and I didn’t want her to look at me as if I was a stranger to her.
Does she think about me still? Am I in her thoughts every constant second as she is in mine? Does she dream of me and ache when she wakes up and sees I’m not lying next to her like I do every night? Because that’s all I seem to do. I ache. I ache for her and I feel as if all the oxygen I try to fill my lungs with isn’t enough to keep me alive. She was my air and without her, every breath I take burns me until all that’s left is grey ash.
I have been going through the motions, attending class and keeping up with my workload, but I feel if I am able to say a couple of words a day, it’s a struggle. I prefer silence to the sound of my voice. I didn’t use it when I should have, so what use do I have for it now? The only times I try to be more engaging is when mom and dad call me. They’re worried about me and I can’t blame them. I don’t recognize myself. I see a man in the mirror looking back at me and I can’t for the life of me know who he is anymore? Who am I without her? I’m nothing but an incomplete mess. I could argue with myself and say I’m the same old Quaid, that nothing changed and I can move past this. I could argue that case until I was blue in the face. Yes, I could move past this, but I’m not the same Quaid.
With Jess by my side, I was so much better. She challenged me like no other and made me laugh every day. I have always been a serious kid, probably a side effect of the screwed up childhood I had in Olivia’s care, so it’s no wonder I became a serious adult, but with Jess it was different. She made me carefree and live in the moment. She was reckless and impulsive and spoke with her heart on her sleeve and it was intoxicating being around her. She was a force of nature I never wanted to tame. So yes, I could move on from that, but why the fuck would anyone want to move on from the greatest thrill of your life? She pumped adrenaline into my veins and made me fly with her, knowing full well I would catch her anytime she thought she might fall. I would fall on my own sword before I would ever let one strand of her hair come to any harm. We were complete opposites in every way, yet we completed each other perfectly. While she was loud and full of life, I was the safe harbor she could always land on. While I was the idealist to my very core, she was the reality check I needed at times. Yet even when I was too serious or focused on a task at hand, I could always count on her soft giggle to remind me there was so much more to life. I was the stable earth while she was the wind. Violent and passionate one minute and then just as sweet and soft the next. How could I ever move on from that?
Tonight though, I will be forced to socialize with the very woman who is the actual root of all my ailments. My father called to inform we have all been summoned to my grandparents’ penthouse. Although this is a family meeting, apparently Olivia will also be attending. My parents drove up this morning so they could spend some time with me. That is the only silver lining to this family summons. At least I’m able to concentrate on being present for my mom and dad, although I don’t know if I’ve been able to assure them as well in person how fine I am as I’ve been claiming on the phone every day they ask what’s wrong. I’m almost positive if I wasn’t worrying them so much with my constant depressive state, they might have even ditched coming to New York, summons be damned. Hell, I’m pretty sure my mom would probably be all too happy to give my grandmother the middle finger at her presumption she could call and expect everyone to drop what they’re doing just to see what’s on her agenda now.
We have dinner at a quaint Italian restaurant near Hell’s Kitchen that my mother used to love coming to when we lived here. We make light conversation and I feel this is for my benefit mostly. Neither one approaching the topic of my absentee girlfriend. At least in my parents’ mind, Jess is still my better half until I tell them otherwise, which I haven’t been able to do. Mostly, because I refuse to accept that she isn’t. I replay the last time we were together over and over in my mind and hold onto little words of hope.
She just needs time.
She’s not answering your calls because she needs to process her feelings on her own.
She won’t see you because that will only confuse her.
Hold out one more day and she’ll call and tell you she’s back.
Just hold out one more day.
Survive one more day.
I repeat these little mantras every day. I wake up and think this will be the day she’ll come back to me. Today, she’ll call. Today, I’ll hold her.
Today.
But today turns into tomorrow and another tomorrow and another. The today I yearn for never arrives, yet I still hold on to hope she has taken all the time she needed and will seek me out telling me she is back for good. These thoughts are still running through my head as we finish dinner and head out to see what my grandparents thought was so urgent the whole family needed to be present for. When we enter the penthouse, everyone is already accounted for in the grand living room, save for the hosts themselves. My uncle Donovan and latest girlfriend are hushed over in the corner whispering among themselves. Probably trying to come up with the reason they too had been summoned. My cousins, Petra and her brother Eric too engrossed on their phones to care. Looking more annoyed they had to forfeit their evening plans then be curious as to what my grandparents have in store for them. The only one showing mild interest and a cool stance is, of course, Olivia, standing next to the baby grand piano. As composed as she’s trying to be, her delight at being present in a Stevens family meeting is almost palpable. As palpable as the stiffness I feel my father’s back become at the sight of her, or the disdain and rage burning in my mother’s eyes and seeing Olivia’s condescending smile. We haven’t been here a minute, and I already feel the soldiers and generals gather up their swords and guns preparing for battle between the two women.
“Maybe we should sit,” my father says offering his hand to the lioness beside me. Mom grinds her teeth and fake smiles at him, taking dad’s cue to sit down and face anywhere but at the woman who handicapped her son from having a normal childhood. I sit next to her and nudge her shoulder reminding her that nothing Olivia has done to me in the past can erase the good Taylor has brought to my life. Understanding rises into her brow and she gives my hands, that are placed on my lap, a light squeeze.
“I’m giving this whole circus fifteen minutes. I already got what I came for. I wanted to see my baby boy and I did, so this little reunion better be quick,” she says smiling at both my dad and me. My father’s eyes bright up at my mother’s sassiness as they always do, and nods in complete accordance with her statement. I relax a little bit also knowing I won’t have to be here much longer. Living in the penthouse with Jessica all those weekends were the most amazing of my life, but being here with my grandparents present and Olivia, made each second that passes by crawl. Like pinching needles to my skin, dragging each minute to feel like a year of breathing unpleasant stale air. It had nothing on my time with Jess. This room holds no memory of her either. Aside from the gym, the boat room and the kitchen, the rest of the house had no trace of her. Suddenly the urge to run to any one of those three divisions makes my mouth dry. Maybe if I can just visit these rooms, I’ll be able to see her clearly in my mind. Smell her strawberry perfume on one of the pillows or get a flashback of her trying to knock me down on my ass on the gym floor mats. I start to stand and excuse myself for a couple of minutes, feeling the urgency of getting those memories back in vivid color and smell, when the matriarch and her devoted sidekick enter the room, killing my notion of sweet escape.
“Good, you’re all here,” my grandmother says as she paces carefully to a French Style oak wood single chair. She takes her seat on the fauteuil, with her husband at her side, standing stoically, sharing no clue with us with his schooled expression as to what new scheme my grandmother has concocted this time. My grandmother locks eyes with every person in the room commanding the attention she feels she so richly deserves. The only time her icy exterior seems to thaw is when her eyes lock with mine.
“I’ll make this brief as you know it isn’t in my nature for small talk when business is at hand. It has come to my attention that some of you may have misguided, or dare I say naive illusions to the Trusts we have so generously put in place for each of my children as well as my grandchildren. This is something that I wish to clarify now and hope never to need to have such a distasteful conversation again.”
“Since when is talking about money ever been a distasteful subject in this family?” My fifteen-year-old cousin Eric lets out still glued to his phone. My uncle Donovan slaps him across the head unceremoniously.
“Be quiet you insolent child before you say something we all may regret later,” he barks at Eric. Petra takes his phone away and places it in her bag along with her own. The look in her eyes to her younger brother is all affection, but it is also a warning to remain silent to forgo being subjected to their father’s harsh temperament again. Eric bites his lower lip and slumps back into the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest, listening more to his sister’s eyes, then to his father’s heavy hand. My grandmother shows no emotion whatsoever and keeps still until she feels she’s regained the room’s attention.
“As I was saying, I believe some pre-notions have been greatly exaggerated and therefore I wish to clear any misunderstandings tonight. In the past, James and I set up three independent trusts for my sons. Each received their college Trust at eighteen which all my grandchildren are also entitled to as Quaid can confirm.” I nod when I feel all eyes on me. I hate being the center of attention but in this case, being the eldest grandchild, I was the first one to have access to my college fund. A fund that would easily be enough to finish my doctorate and still have enough left over for another Masters degree if I so wished. My grandparents’ generosity with my schooling was never the issue. Caring the Stevens last name meant I was expected to be great, whatever the field I chose and fronting the bill for the best schools out there was nothing that my grandparents batted an eye at. My cousins would have the same advantage when their time came.
“There were another two Trusts in place as well. The first Trust, each would be entitled to when they turned twenty- one and the second at thirty, unless of course you were wed before then, whichever came first.”
I look to my father perplexed as to why he never mentioned this once to me. The college fund he had been vocal about, so I didn’t have to worry about taking summer jobs to help with tuition when all I really wanted to do was my volunteer work. I knew that maybe in the unforeseeable future there might be an inheritance, but this would be a result of both my grandparents’ demise and even though they were cold, calculating and uncaring individuals, I still misguidedly maybe, cared for them. They were my family, even though love was a foreign concept for them, I did, in fact, love them. They might not deserve my affection, and lord knows, affection from my part would probably make them feel as uncomfortable to them in receiving it as I would feel if they gave it back to me. Yes, I knew an inheritance was a possibility, but this meant their death, and to me, I would lovingly decline any of it, if they could live on this earth longer. Even if only to share icy, stern glares and gelid statements around the dinner table once a year.
“Well, James and I over the years have given this much thought and decided that our grandchildren would receive their Trust in one go instead of the previous two half amounts as their parents. Therefore only one Trust holding the full amount will stand, and the other will be eliminated.” From the corner of my eye I see Olivia’s interest peak up at this. It seems as though this whole discussion of Trust isn’t as undisclosed to her as it had been to me. None of what my grandmother has said has surprised her, only this last statement, which leaves me wondering why she’s here in the first place now.
“Quaid, Petra and then Eric will all be entitled to their trust of 60 million dollars in one go, along with being entitled to their respective shares of the DiStefano’ enterprises. That alone will make each of their net worth in the billions bracket,” my grandfather says proudly placing a hand on my grandmother’s shoulder.
I look over at Petra, who extemporaneously falls back onto the couch next to her brother, both looking sick to their stomachs. I can’t say I look less green with what my grandfather just announced. Growing up, I never felt I went without, but I never took anything my parents gave me for granted either. Money was never a real concern for us, even though both my father and my mother worked tiredly in making my father’s construction company thrive back home. Aside from our house, I can’t say we lived better than your average middle class working family. I mean, I felt like I belonged in the middle-class bracket, not this billionaire bullshit my grandfather is going on about. Just the thought of the words millions and billions being tossed out like water made my skin itch. If Jessica were at my side, she would probably already be thinking about how many schools we could help with that money, and how many kids could get access to good education, food, supplies. She would add up how many homeless shelters, runaway houses and foster care families that would need the type of aid that only big money could provide. Hell, Jess would start a whole foundation just to fight all the injustices she saw in the world and employ the unemployable. Offer second chances to frightened mothers and assaulted women everywhere. Suddenly thinking of how Jessica would see receiving this type of money as a gift to give back to others makes my stomach settle. Yes, it’s an obscene amount of money, but so is my girl’s thirst to rectify wrongs.
“Are you sure this is wise, mom? The kids getting access to those types of funds at such an early age doesn’t sit well with me,” my father states. His expression is cautious and guarded, but his tone shows exactly how he thinks this idea of my grandparents handing us the key to the castle so early in life, might be our downfall instead.
“Craig, don’t look so troubled. Your father and I have discussed this at great length, and the decision is final and legalized. It is after all, because of your past mistakes that we took such steps, to begin with.”
“I don’t understand,” he says genuinely puzzled.
“Well, the Trust will only be at the kids’ disposal when they turn thirty. Again should they wed before then will they have access to it sooner. This would be the only exception. Trusts for my great grandchildren will also be set up but that is neither here nor there,” my grandmother states patting my grandfather’s hand and signaling him to the globe at his side. Their minds are so intuned with each other, that she doesn’t have to be vocal to ask he pour her glass of brandy for him to be handing it to her a couple of seconds after.
“That’s ludicrous,” Olivia shouts and everyone now stares at the red-faced woman holding back venom that I see her constantly swallow back down.
“Why should your grandchildren be treated any differently than your sons? It’s absurd denying them their legacy until they are thirty. They should be able to have the same advantages their fathers’ had at any age. What you’re suggesting is just absurd!”
“Absurd you say. Ludicrous. Is it really, Olivia?” my grandmother stares right into Olivia’s glacial eyes as she takes a small sip from her glass. My grandmother maintains the same flawless poise as she looks upon Olivia at last.
“My dear Olivia, I have never done anything ludicrous or absurd in my life. Everything I’ve done has never been impulsive or unsounded in any way. However, from time to time, there have been some errors of judgment from my part where I failed to see danger routed inside my house. I’ve paid dearly for those lapses. Mistakes I wish I could have undone, but alas I hate to spend time reminiscing on past failures. No, Olivia, I’ve always been a big believer at never repeating the same mistakes twice and since only one of my sons was able to hold onto their inheritance, I’m just making sure my grandchildren are afforded the same luxury.”
Olivia goes pale and my father and mother also grow rigid around me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you think I was unaware of the little agreement you had made ten years ago? If you thought that, then you are the ones who are foolish. Your father and I were perfectly made aware of the contract you made with this conniving devil, Craig. She wears your fortune well, I must say, but still, it should have never reached her hands in the first place,” my grandmother explains and my head is trying hard to catch up to what she’s insinuating.
“Dad?” I ask, but he refuses to look at me, fixated on his mother’s cold stare.
“How did you find out?” he asks not hiding his displeasure from the room.
“Dear child, you think handing offer your whole inheritance to Olivia would escape my attention somehow? Tsk Tsk,” my grandmother taunts. “Every move my children make, I notice. You might have run off to Plymouth of all places, but it’s not too far for your father or me to know exactly what you’ve been up to all these years. No place would ever be far enough.”
“Dad, what is she talking about?” I ask this time unnerved. I need answers and no one is leaving this room until I get them. My father continues to stare at his dear old mother, while I turn to mine in return, hoping she at least would be more forthcoming. One pleaded look is all Taylor needs to sink into my side and take my hand.
“Quaid, I don’t want you to give this a second thought. Your grandmother should know better than to bring up such sensitive subjects,” she says giving Gran the evil eye.
“But she’s not lying either. At the time, we thought it was the only way to protect you. To make sure you lived a normal childhood instead of the ping-pong match Olivia craved. I had my own selfish reasons, I won’t deny it, but the heart of it all was always what was best for you. Leaving the city and distancing ourselves from Olivia and the rest of the family felt like a dream we would never obtain, until the fateful day your father decided that our peace, our way of life was more important than anything that the Stevens legacy could bestow upon him. Once he made that decision, then everything else just fell into place,” Taylor explains all the while holding both my hands in hers. Offering as much comfort as we’re allowed with such an attentive audience.
I hear my grandfather let out a discontent growl taking my attention away from my mom.
“What your mother is trying to tell you is they bought your happiness by handing over all they had to your biological mother. In return, she signed on the dotted line that she would not make any contact whatsoever until you were legally an adult. It shouldn’t surprise you how Olivia jumped at the opportunity. Since Craig had married while still in his twenties, he had access to both trusts long before you were born, something Olivia knew very well, yet she still took the money and never looked back. Fully knowing she was walking away with an inheritance that should have gone to you, not her.”
“Oh please! It’s not as if Quaid was going to go hungry without it. Besides if this is all about inheritance, what about Quaid’s then? Where is his inheritance from his real father?” Olivia spats no longer holding in her temperament. My father straightens his back at this, and immediately my mother removes one of her hands off mine to rest it on his thigh and give it a light squeeze.
“Craig is his real father, Olivia. Just as I am his real mother. You and Adam were simply the people that procreated Quaid into existence. Nothing else,” my mom scowls at her. Olivia just rolls her eyes at her in response.
“Don’t test me, Taylor! To be a mother, you need to be a woman first, and your poor excuse of a womb was begging at the chance of taking what was mine,” she yells. My mom flies off the couch ready to slap the smile off Olivia’s face as she sees she touched just the right nerve to piss my mom off. Both my dad and uncle grab her before she can strike the first blow, but the two women are still insulting one another long after both men have them far enough apart for real damage not to occur.
“You conniving evil bitch! If it wasn’t for my son, I swear I would have rearranged your face years ago!”
“Oh just try it, Taylor! Show us exactly how low Craig married and how the real reason he left the city was because he could no longer bear everyone’s ridicule. The first born to the Stevens’ empire marries a small town nobody who can’t even give him a rightful heir. No, he needed to buy his little brother’s son instead.”
“Let me go! Let me at the gold digging tramp! She wants to see what a real woman can do? Give me five minutes, and I’ll show her exactly what a small town girl can do!” my mom screams.
“ENOUGH!!” I yell above both women. They freeze in place immediately but Olivia is the first to gather her bearings.
“Quaid baby, I need you to understand how young and foolish I was at the time your father came to me with the offer. I was barely twenty-five years old in the city alone with no college degree to my name or a family that could provide for me. My modeling career didn’t pan out as I had hoped, and I was struggling. The offer felt too promising to turn down. But I always knew when the time came, I would be able to explain myself and we could start fresh,” Olivia coos, as if I’m one of her pathetic boy toys or sugar daddies, that come and do her bidding every time she bats her eyes and uses her soft voice. She forgets I’m neither and those tactics do little to sway me.
“God, you’re so full of it. Does anyone actually fall for that shit?” I bark at her, enraged she's daring enough to pull her tricks on me.
“Baby, you’re angry. I understand that, but don’t you see? I’m here to protect you. Something your so-called parents should be doing in my stead. What your grandparents are proposing is insane and if I’m frank, unjustifiable. Why should you have to wait so long for something that is already yours in the first place? Yes, because Adam’s estate should have gone to you as soon as you became an adult. That’s eighteen in this state and your grandparents have yet to bestow it on you.”
“And how do you know that?” my father asks still holding my mother back behind him. “You’ve been better informed of Quaid’s estate then I have been apparently. I had no knowledge of this at all,” he continues this time removing his stare from Olivia’s cock-eyed expression and meeting my grandmother’s indomitable one.
“Well, I guess I’m the culprit of that piece of information. When Olivia came to us pregnant with Quaid, I told her I would not care for her in any way, but I would care for my grandchild. Adam’s own two trusts were also combined and put under Quaid’s name. I might have also mentioned that Quaid would only have access to it once he was of age and not a minute sooner. I thought at the time, this would be enough to dissuade Olivia’s plans. I even planted the seed that both James and I would be willing to adopt the boy and take him off her hands. Unfortunately, she didn’t turn to me as I had planned. No, no. Instead, once the seed was planted, she saw an opportunity I didn’t account for. You and Taylor,” my grandmother quips still unnerved at the idea someone was cleverer than she.
“But you know this part of the story, all too well.”
“I don’t,” I state looking my grandmother in the eye craving for her to continue, but it’s my grandfather who hears my plea.
“Olivia promised Craig and Taylor guardianship of you. All she asked in return was they front the bill of her expenses in order for her to continue her modeling career without having to have the added stress of rent and utility payments. A small gesture of their good faith in return for hers, I believe was what she said. Your parents, seeing a teenaged pregnant girl down on her luck and carrying their nephew no less, came to her aid immediately. Once you were born, her checks kept being signed every month. But greed is a mighty thing. You never know how it will affect you and you never know when it’s going to knock on your door again. Your parents were greedy in wanting to adopt you, and Olivia was greedy to live the life of a 5th Avenue princess. Once she saw a way to obtain her wish, that’s when we came into the picture. Trying to right a wrong that should have never begun in the first place. Your grandmother and I passed a seven-figure check granting both wishes. Adoption papers were signed when you were five and Olivia became a millionaire. Still, she had one more clause to make it all happen. She wanted something we couldn’t give her.”
“What?” my cousin Petra asks entangled in the novella we’re playing out. Both my cousins are frozen in place watching this badly-produced opera, while my uncle and his companion grow more uncomfortable by the family drama by the minute.
“She wanted Quaid,” my grandmother answers and it’s the first time I hear exhaustion in her voice. Like she’s fought this battle for too long and the reveal of it is the thing that finally takes her remaining strength away.
“Taylor doted on Quaid just as much as Quaid thought she hung the very stars and moon at night. She was everything a little boy could ever wish in a mother. She still is, I’d wager,” my grandmother hushes, and we all grow silent at witnessing this miraculous event. My grandmother complimenting anyone is in itself a feat, but for that person to be Taylor Stevens has the whole room grow silent.
“A bad mother knows when she’s in the presence of a good one. To some women, this can be intimidating, but to others, this can be more of a nuisance. Something that needs to be dealt with accordingly. I don’t think it takes a genius as to how Olivia responded to having her leverage have such a strong bond with a woman that wasn’t her. So, I guess in her own way she tried to outdo Taylor any way she could, but not every woman is meant to be a mother. It takes more than to conceive a child to hold that title, I’m afraid,” my grandmother informs picking up imaginary lint of her immaculate Versace burgundy dress.
“You were nine when your father came to us to explain he was not only quitting the family business and starting his own, but also to formally advise us that you were moving off to Plymouth. You already spent most of the summers there instead of in the Hamptons with us, so I wasn’t fazed at the location. I was at the timing though. Olivia had also called a few days before your father’s visit saying she was moving to Europe since they were less picky about age when selecting models for their runways and fashion magazines. Yes, the timing did strike me as odd, so your grandfather did his due diligence. And what do you think he found out? Any wager as to what he was able to discover?”
“That my dad paid Olivia off again,” I mutter feeling defeated in every way possible. Betrayed even by the two people who loved me most. I stand before my grandmother on unsteady feet, yet I don’t want her to keep anything else from me. If she’s come this far, let all of it come out tonight.
“Oh my sweet child, if Olivia had only gotten a payout, believe you me, we would not be having this conversation. No Quaid, ten years ago Olivia got so much more than a payout. She cleaned your father dry, and he handed it over with a smile on his face. Luckily, Craig was unable to give her his shares of the company. If he tried, both your grandfather and I would be immediately notified and would have stopped the madness he was doing. Still, when we did find out it was already too late and her seven pieces of silver had been already hand delivered and flying over the Atlantic.”
“Is this true?” I ask my parents who look like they’ve been in a war of their own. My mother is out of breath gaping at the whole scene in front of her, not knowing which fire to put out first, while my father continues to look brazen.
“To some degree yes, it’s true.”
“So you bought me?” I ask still apprehensive with the word and even at the idea that such a thing molded my whole upbringing.
“No!” my mother finally speaks out. “It was never like that, Quaid! We did not buy you at all. We would have adopted you any way we could, but Olivia made the whole process so tangled and full of strings attached. Money was the only thing she was willing to accept. I was the first person to hold you, the first person to kiss your chubby cheeks, to bath you and change a diaper. We loved you the moment we put our eyes on you; there was no way we would live with ourselves if we didn’t do everything in our power to protect you. To keep you close to us. The day she decided to walk away from you completely and let us live our lives without her presence hovering over us, was the first day I was able to breathe again. I hated every time I had to hand you over to her, but we thought at the time, you should be entitled to grow up knowing who your biological mom was. A mistake we are sorry for to this day.” I watch the strain in her eyes, the emotion behind each word and the genuine hope I understand where they were coming from to make such a decision. But right now, my mind is too hectic and running amok to make sense of anything. This room with all its square footage is stifling me, and the air feels as heavy as my tight chest suggests. I need out of here. Now.
“Are we done? Is there anything else you needed to discuss with us?” I query my grandmother, my voice almost betraying how shattered this night has left me. Sensing my breaking point to be reaching its edge, she nods and waves her hand as if to dismiss me from her presence. On any other day, this might have offended me. Tonight I see it for what it is. No more words are necessary. All has been fully exposed, why stand around and gawk at the ruined pieces it left behind. I walk past my parents, not giving them a second look and I hear my father ordering my mom to let me go. Dad was always the smart one of our little trio. He knew when to bend and when to break. Letting me go to process this whole fiasco is the intelligent thing to do. Trying to hold me back might be just the match that will start this forest fire.
Olivia though isn’t as smart. She runs to the door and grabs my elbow to try to keep me in place. Her eyes are wide and anxious as she bites her bottom lip with her front teeth in a nervous tic.
“Quaid, no baby, wait. You can’t leave. Your grandparents still have to tell you where Adam’s money went to. It’s your birthright, baby. You need to confront them and get what’s owed to you,” Olivia begs.
“Have you burnt your nest egg already, Olivia? Is this why you suddenly can’t stop calling and wanting so badly to see me? Is this the reason why your maternal instinct kicked in and you so desperately wish to bond as mother and son?” I grunt slapping her hand off my elbow and pushing her away from the door.
“No need to answer, Olivia. I’ve known the answer since birth what your reply would be. While my blood runs deep red, yours most definitely is a shade greener. We have nothing that connects us, not even blood. So step away and leave my sight. I would rather burn every dollar before you ever got your hands on a dime,” I tell her with all the bitterness and malice I hold in my heart for her, for this moment and for all my acquired knowledge of my past. This night has tainted it even further, and right now all I want is to put as much distance to it and all the people in this room as I can master.
Being Steven’s born not only comes with its baggage of exclusivity but also with its own price tag. Maybe Olivia is more Stevens then I gave her credit for. Anyone in this family can be bought if the price is right.
Me included.