Chapter 17
Quaid
I toss and turn to no avail. I’ve kicked the comforter and sheets off the bed, because my body temperature is hot enough, but I keep my sweats and t-shirt on, so that my brain doesn’t get any ideas. Sleep will not be something that I will have the luxury in having tonight.
And why?
Because I have little Jessica Silva snug and tight across the hall tempting me to haul ass out of this bed and hold her tight the whole night through. I don’t know how she did it, but she has managed to chip away all my preconceived notions of the girl I thought she was and see her with all new eyes. A girl so resilient, strong and dedicated to anything that she puts her mind to. Loyal to a fault and cute as a fucking button. I repeat the word cute in my head, because if I even go to the place where I’d acknowledge that she is so much more, then another cold shower is no doubt in order tonight.
I pull my arm over my eyes trying to hold back how awkward that was. I was in seventh heaven just relishing her scent, her taste on my tongue and of course my lower half had to make its presence known. Worst of all was the look on Jess’s face when she saw just how worked up I was from kissing her neck alone. I didn’t even dare kiss her! How could I when innocent kisses were enough of a tidal wave of emotions too strong for me to control? Shit, if I had kissed her, it would have made it a hundred times more difficult to leave her. The masochist in me traces my tongue over my lower lip, and my eyes roll back because I can still taste her strawberry sweetness. The girl is a fucking dessert and I groan again at my discomfort.
Having Jess here was a bad idea. Why did I come up with that one in the first place?! Asking her to spend the weekend over here is just begging for trouble, or as my body can attest to, fucking torture! Even Jess must have seen how painful it was for me when I jumped off the bed and ran to the sanctuary of my bathroom. When I got into the shower, I had to haul ass out of there too, afraid she might think I was relieving myself of the tension her little curvy body brought out in me. That will be on my top list of embarrassing moments ever. A grown ass man taking a five minute shower, in order for the petite gorgeous goddess lying in my bed, not be disgusted at my pubescent antics.
I’m still wallowing in my indiscretion when I hear my door creak open. My arm is still covering my eyes, as I hold back my breath, trying desperately to make out any other noise. Her bare feet step closer to me, not making a sound over the plush white carpet, but the closer she gets to me, her fruity scent gets stronger, which only makes my mouth water for another taste. She shouldn’t be here. I know it. She knows it. Yet here she is so close that if I was to remove my arm, I know she’d be close enough to grab onto.
“Are you awake?” she whispers. Of course, I’m awake. My body has been trying to fight off the storm of emotions for the past hour! There is no way any red-blooded male could be expected to sleep through this cyclone of lust and want.
“Go to bed, Jess,” I grunt. I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but I need her to leave for my own sanity. I feel her crawl her way up the bed, and I swear this girl must take delight from my misery. I never remove my arm from withholding my sight, because just the idea of Jess looming over me in all fours is ripping my organs into shreds. I try one more time, praying she hears my plea this time.
“Please Jess, go back to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”
“I will. You just forgot something, that’s all.” I keep still waiting on her to tell me what I forgot, pretty certain that she’s going to say my mind back in her room, but when I feel her breath on my face, I involuntarily release my eyes from their prison and look up at the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Golden liquid eyes pierce the heart of me in such a way that my next words come out jumbled.
“What did I forget?” An affectionate smile springs out from those red lips that inspire sonnets, and I’m positive I’ve just handed her my heart and soul on a platter with this smile alone.
“You forgot to kiss me goodnight,” I swallow the lump in my throat, listening to what I presume is my rampant heartbeat, only to see Jess’s chest trying to get as much oxygen the same way I seem to struggle to.
She leans in and presses her mouth to mine, kissing me in such a demure virtuous fashion, that my resistance is blown to smithereens. Obliterated by one pure kiss. I bring my arms around her and she falls directly on top of me, and I hold her tight giving into what I’ve been dreaming about since Christmas break.
What started out as an innocent peck quickly becomes a whole other adventure once I feel her lips part for me. I thrust my tongue forward eagerly anticipating the moment it would touch hers. The smoldering fire running through my veins ignite when her tongue seeks mine just as reverently. Any thought to pull away from this decadent kiss is no longer in the room. I look into that liquid brown goodness, and I swear I see the gold in them burn bright just for me. I hear myself growl into her mouth, wanting her eyes to shine only ever for me like this. I grasp the sides of the waistband of her shorts in such a way that I feel my nails bite into my hands. Our mouths still in their trance. Our tongues blissfully dancing with each other, seeking out the ever more.
More sweetness.
More fire.
More her.
Just... more.
I’m still on the hunt to the infinite more, when Jess leans back, releasing my lips from this painful, sweet surrender and I hate it. I hate everything about not continuing on my quest to total joyful abandonment that only her mouth can provide. We’re both panting profusely, locked in each other’s stare. The tip of her tongue peeks out through the slit of her lips and I bite back the moan that I’m sure wants to scream out of me.
“Well, goodnight,” she teases. I grab the back of her head and bring her lips back to mine. If she wants a goodnight kiss, then she’s going to get one. I put all my passion, all the frustrating want I have been fighting off and place it in this one kiss. We’re all teeth, tongue and swollen lips, but by God, she’s going to leave this bedroom feeling just as exasperated as I am. When I let up, her eyes are still closed, and she places her fingers over her bruised voluptuous lips. When she finally opens her dreamy bedroom eyes, I know I delivered the mother load of all kisses. So what if it left me just as frazzled? My girl was not leaving this room unsatisfied!
“Goodnight,” I gently tease and that gets the fire back in her eyes. My little spitfire is all sorts of trouble, but damn she looks even hotter pressed up against me with lust in her eyes. She starts to move away from me, probably thinking this is me telling her to go back to her room, but to hell with that nonsense.
“If you promise to behave, you can sleep here. If you want.” She gives me yet again that awe-inspiring smile and slides to my side. I follow her and place my hand on her stomach, still very much aware that she’s wearing next to nothing boy short revealing bare, toned olive skinned legs. She backs up to me a little more, teasing me with her plump behind and it takes all of me to grab her hip to keep her still.
“I said behave now, or that fine ass booty is going to get itself spanked if it keeps rubbing itself on me.” I tease and kiss the inside of her neck. She lets out a little laugh and it hits right to the core of me.
“Jesus woman, what are you doing to me?” I unintentionally let out. Her laugh falters and she grows silent for a while.
“I don’t know. Probably the same thing you’re doing to me,” she hushes. I tighten my hold and bring her closer. This girl really is going to be the death of me.
“What are we doing, Quaid?”
“We’re going to sleep, that’s what we’re doing,” I playoff knowing full well this conversation was bound to happen sooner than later. She keeps still, looking straight ahead, probably as frighten as I am for us to have this talk.
“You know what I mean. This, whatever this is between us, is only going to blow in our faces sooner or later. I mean just a couple of months ago, you couldn’t stand me. Darn it Quaid; you were even hitting on my best friend, just last Christmas. I don’t see how this is going to play out in our favor.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” I exhale and pull her to face me.
“We need to hash out some misconceptions so that we’re clear on where we’re coming from. You’ve said your peace, now I want you to hear mine.” I place both my hands on her face, forcing her to look at me and see that every word I say is as true as the day or in this case, night is long.
“Yes, we started off on rocky footing, but I’m as much at fault for that as you are. We both only gave each other our worst part, not giving us a chance to know each other. And this Jess, is us getting to know each other. Whatever happens next, we’ll take it as it comes.”
“So friends, you mean?” she asks with a glint of moisture in her eyes.
“I think that ship has sailed, pretty girl.” I grin placing a soft kiss on her nose. “If I recall, you didn’t want my friendship in the first place, so don’t complain now that you got more than you bargained for,” I tease kissing both of her eyelids shut, taking my time with each peck. Her coy little smile melts me all over again.
“And Cass?”
“Can I be honest?” I ask and I see before my eyes her shell harden preparing for whatever I may say.
“I wasn’t flirting with Cassandra over Christmas break. That was all you and that imagination of yours.” She wrinkles her nose in defiance, but I keep telling her my truth. The one that is so obvious to me now.
“It’s true growing up I thought maybe Cass was the ideal girl for me. She was kind, sweet and unattainable. I think that’s what appealed to me most. Knowing she wouldn’t look at me in that way made her a safe option. Back then, I needed that. Anything else wasn’t an option for me and the real kicker was when she started dating your cousin, I wasn’t even bummed. If I had felt strongly for her, then I’m sure this wouldn’t be the case.”
“But you dated other girls. I know you did,” she answers confused.
“Jess, I was still a teenaged boy with teenaged hormones, so yeah, I had my share of hooked ups. The only date I can recall I said yes to was with you and look how well that ended.” She shrugs her shoulders feigning she has no idea what I’m talking about.
“And why would you say I dated? You’re the first one to say how we didn’t get along back then, so why would you think that I went out at all?” Now it’s me who wants some honesty from her.
“The truth now, I gave you mine, so it’s only fair you do the same.” Her face blushes that lovely shade of red that I’ve come to crave on a daily basis, and I know whatever she’s about to confess will rock my world.
“I may have harbored a small crush back in the day,” she hushes, scrunching her eyes shut in embarrassment and I’m glad she can’t see the fucking shit-eating grin I must have plastered all over my face.
“Really? You could have fooled me. You always seemed to be irritated by me.”
“Well in a way I was. I mean it sucks to crush on a guy who was clearly into my best friend. It hurt, so I guess I did a one-eighty and preferred to hate you instead,” she admits keeping her eyes shut. Shit, I can’t have that.
“Jess, that’s all in the past now. We were kids. The here and now is what we should be focusing on. I like you, Jess. I mean I really like you, so don’t waste any more time in what was, but be here with me now. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?” I ask, anxious to know if we can move past this little hurdle. I was being honest when I said I had no real feeling for Cass. She had been the safe option growing up. Jessica, on the other hand, was trouble incarnate. Looking back, I know that I willed myself not to look at her too hard, to ignore her at every turn. She was just too much for any normal teenage boy to handle, but now, I want to submerge myself in all her mischief. Bring on the trouble; I’m ready for it!
She nods and opens her eyes to show me that brown liquid gold I yearn for. Much better.
“I need to hear the words, baby. You have to tell me you want to do this with me, too.” Was that fucking desperation in my voice? Because it certainly sounded like it was.
“I might regret it, but I do want to try, Quaid. I always have.” I lean my forehead against hers and hug her to me, wanting nothing to spoil this perfect moment of holding this girl in my arms.
“That’s good, baby. Real good to hear,” I tell her and kiss that cute nose one more time because apparently if I try to kiss her like I want to right now, I’ll probably won’t be able to stop at one kiss.
“Quaid?”
“Yeah, baby?” I ask and I love it when I see her shiver when I call her that.
“Promise me you’ll always be honest with me? Even if it hurts, you’ll always be upfront with me.” The ardent look in her eyes shows me just how important this is for her, and like the idiot I am, I nod and promise, even knowing that there are just some things I will never be able to tell her. I’m living in constant denial that my history has nothing to do with our brewing relationship. I tell myself that omission is not a lie. I tell myself a lot of things because all the reasoning I’m able to come up with is finding ways to maintain the look she’s giving me now. A look that shows more passionate emotion and vulnerability then I have ever witness on any girl’s face, let alone Jess. So I’m not surprised when I hear myself say the following.
“I’m an open book, Jess. Ask away.”