Chapter Three
Given her profession, Toni was good at rolling with the punches. Sometimes, literally. But none of this was going the way she wanted it to. At all. By now she should be making out with Sexy Stuntman and yet Chance was looking at her like she was a circus sideshow.
She much preferred the kiss idea. Because Chance the stunt double was gorgeous, with a chiseled jaw and dark, burning eyes. His body was nothing but muscle, and he had some dark beard stubble that tempted her to reach out and scratch it. If she weren’t on the ground still and if he didn’t appear ready to toss her down again if necessary.
“Oh, this old thing?” She tapped the golden dildo and shrugged. “It’s just a douche award. I hand them out sometimes.”
The man’s expression was impossible to read. He was like a Greek statue, all stony and sexy and blemish free. Given that bulge in his pants though, he wasn’t all ancient sculpture with a tiny penis. The man had a whole lot going on in that tight suit. She was tempted to reach forward and tickle him right there, just to see how he would react. But even she wasn’t crazy enough to do that to a total stranger.
Toni felt caught off guard, a rare feeling for her. Something about Chance was unnerving. Of course, she realized what it was the second the thought popped in her head. He was insanely good-looking and she was very much aware of his presence as a man. She had been born without the flirt gene and this was the kind of guy who was way out of her league. He made her nervous in the most basic way possible. She wanted to get naked and smoosh bodies with him, but he would never give the little funny girl the time of day. She was the hot guy’s buddy, never his girlfriend, and Chance fell into that category.
Plus he clearly thought she was the world’s strangest creature.
He was looking at her like she was bird poop that had landed on his arm.
“Don’t worry, it’s not meant for you,” she said. “I have a perverse sense of humor in case you hadn’t noticed. But it’s a good career.”
“I have no response to that. But if you don’t get off the ground I’m going to do something I might regret.”
“Such as?”
“Throw you over my shoulder and escort you off the premises.”
Tempting. Very tempting. But while that was sexy in theory, Chance looked like he wanted the power to vaporize her.
“Not necessary. Just give me a hand.” She had to get up if she really was going to kiss him again anyway. “This asphalt is starting to sear my skin off the bone. Why is Burbank so damn hot all the time?”
Chance took her hand and hauled her up with zero effort. “It’s all the hot stars,” he said, with a complete straight face.
Toni got even more nervous. Why did it feel like she was being punked herself? Mr. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous was impossible to get a read on. He was just watching her intently. So when in doubt, be an idiot. That was her motto.
She started patting his chest all over.
“What are you doing?”
“Searching for your mic. Jack had to have set me up. Like this is a reverse joke on my reverse joke.” She found no evidence of a mic on his chest or his lower back, but she continued to feel around, because well, he felt amazing. Not to insult all the men she had dated in the past, but they were all basically marshmallows next to Chance Ashton. Okay, so that was insulting to all her exes, but come on. Chance was a rock. Nothing but muscles.
“I don’t even know what that sentence means.” He laid his hands over hers and stopped her progress down his abs, which was a damn shame. “And to be honest, I don’t care.”
Though she was pushing her luck, she had to admit, she tried to move her hand down further. She was perilously close to his waistband and the glory of what lay below. But he held her firmly in place. Damn it.
Forcing her gaze upwards, she said, “No?” because that was brilliant. Not.
“No. I just think you need to stop touching me like that or we’re going to have a situation.”
“God, I hope so.” Because of course she said that out loud, because she had zero filter. Like none.
“You want me to restrain you again?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up.
And here she had thought he meant a situation as in a boner. But he actually meant that if she didn’t stop he was going to have to make her stop. She was apparently in his personal space.
“Don’t be a tease,” she said breezily. “I know you don’t mean that. So, we’re going to try this again? I approach you and we see what happens?”
She was one hundred percent convinced he would tell her to buzz off at this point. But he didn’t. He just nodded and stepped away. “Do your thing.”
Right. Her thing. Comedy. She turned and found Ned right behind her, as usual. She gestured to him to follow her and marched fifteen feet away.
“Your cheeks are red,” Ned said. “I think you’re blushing.”
Busted. “It’s hotter than Hades out here!” She glared at Ned.
He lowered the camera and grinned at her. “I’ve never seen you flustered. The hottie in the suit has you all discombobulated. Never thought I’d see that.”
Annoyed that he was completely right, Toni glared at Ned. “How old are you? No one says discombobulated under the age of eighty.” Which wasn’t true but she needed to deflect.
She also felt the compelling need to glance over her shoulder at Chance. He was standing there with his back to her, hands in his pockets. It was tempting to lick her lips but she resisted the urge. Instead she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. She had a job to do. Make people laugh. Not get distracted by Stonewall Ashton.
“Just do your job,” she told Ned. “I don’t pay you to have opinions.”
It was such a pretentious thing to say and so totally unlike her, Ned burst out laughing. “Holy crap, Toni has a crush.”
“Shut up!” Because that overreaction wasn’t totally confirming Ned’s accusation or anything. Toni took a deep breath and smoothed her palms down the front of her dress. “Let’s have some fun.”
Then she marched over to Chance. She tapped him on the arm. When he turned, there was no feigned surprise. Chance was no actor. He looked… smoldering. Toni’s breath caught in the back of her throat. He wanted her to kiss him. It didn’t look fake.
And so everything inside her caught on fire and began to burn. She forgot about the camera behind her manned by Ned. She forgot about her career and her need to entertain her audience. In that moment she was just a woman who was face-to-face with a hot, muscular man amid some serious sexual tension.
She went up on her tiptoes to reach him, and it felt like everything happened in slow motion. She lifted, he bent, and suddenly his mouth was on hers and the moment stopped making sense and the world went insane. The kiss was electric. It was insta-sizzle. From the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes crammed in her sneakers she felt the tingle of excitement and arousal.
Without even thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved in closer. More. She wanted more. His kiss was skilled, smooth, his tongue sweeping open her lips and teasing inside. Yet it didn’t feel rehearsed, or like a screen kiss. It felt genuine, real. His strong arm shifted around her back and he hauled her up against him. Toni collided with muscle, his power suit, and his lips.
There was only one thing she could do. Kiss him like her life depended on it.
No one could ever accuse her of holding back in any situation. She was known for her enthusiasm and her willingness to dive into whatever nonsense she had going on. This was no different. Because this was the best first kiss she’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing. She couldn’t help but sigh and his hand drifted lower, to the top of her ass, ready to cross that line if she gave him any encouragement. Which she wanted to.
Because Best First Kiss Ever.
But even as she came perilously close to drowning in his total hotness, common sense had her pulling back, breathing heavily. She dropped her heels down on to the pavement, her hands slipping off his shoulders as she stared up at him, stunned. His nostrils were flared and he still had one hand on the small of her back. The other came up and rubbed at his jaw.
There were no words. Just both of them breathing and staring. Staring and breathing.
Then when the moment seemed to drag out too long, he shattered it by bending down and taking her mouth again. This wasn’t a deep, plunging kiss, but a hard, quick press of possession.
Toni was pretty sure she’d just gotten pregnant from the force of that kiss.
“That was no joke,” she said, her voice sounding like it belonged to someone else. Never in her life had she heard that sensual and seductive tone come out of her mouth. Holy hell, it was like he’d just finally made her a woman. In two minutes or less.
“That was definitely no joke.” He finally let go of her, his hand brushing over her ass as it fell away. “But it was a total surprise.”
“In what way?” she asked, because her mind was sluggish, her thoughts going over and over that kiss. The minute the words left her mouth, she wasn’t even sure what she had said.
Chance gave her a slow, sly smile. Oh, dang, she was in trouble. This was hands down the sexiest man she had ever encountered in her personal space. She wanted him even closer. She wanted him inside her.
Then he turned to Ned and said, “Cut. I think we got it.”
And she was mortified. So maybe Chance was a better actor than she had thought. “Right. Yeah. Got it.” She turned to Ned and made a face, sticking out her tongue.
Then she spun back around realizing she needed to say something to Chance. She accidentally ran straight into his chest. “Oh! Sorry.” She jumped back, feeling her cheeks burn. Damn Burbank sun. “I just wanted to say thanks for being a good sport.”
She put her hand out to shake his like an awkward businesswoman. Which about summed her up in a nutshell. He took her hand and shook it firmly, squeezing harder than she thought was strictly necessary.
“It’s been interesting, Toni.” He looked like he never wanted to lay eyes on her again for the rest of his life.
There was nothing she could do but nod. Then turn on her heel and walk away. Spotting Jack strolling across the lot she marched up to him.
“Hey, Ton, what’s up?” He made like he was going to hug her.
She pulled the douche award and handed it to him. “When you have a chance, give this to your stunt double for me.”
Jack took the gold dildo reluctantly. “What?” He glanced behind her. “Chance? What could he have done? He’s a stand-up guy.”
What had he done, exactly? She settled for, “He kissed me and I liked it.”
Jack’s eyebrows shot up. He was wearing the same suit as Chance had been. Whereas Chance smoldered, straining at the shoulders in that jacket, Jack looked suave, charming, debonair. A far cry from the college goofball she had known in the dorms.
“He kissed you? You’re joking.”
“I never joke about kissing.” Which of course was a complete lie.
Jack started laughing. “Then why are you so upset? Chance is the most professional stuntman I know. If he kissed you here, at work, then he meant it.”
She waved her hand, impatient. She couldn’t think and she really just wanted to go home and watch the Hallmark channel and eat ice cream and feel sorry for herself. “No, it was just a spot for my show. It was just a mistaken identity thing. I kissed him thinking it was you.”
“And you liked it?”
“I liked it,” she said, feeling quite bitter about the whole thing. “But I don’t think the feeling was mutual. So I’m going home. Let’s skip the whole sketch today, Jack. We’ll call it even and you can move on to the next stop on your ‘I swear I don’t suck’ tour.”
“That doesn’t have the same ring as Amendment Tour.” Jack clapped her on the shoulder. “But sure, if you’re not feeling it. We can do something later on. I’ll be in and out of town for the next few months.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Jack shoved the douche award at her. “I’m not carrying this around set. If you want to give it to Chance, which I frankly don’t think you should, you’ll have to give it to him yourself.”
She took the gag award back, figuring it was the only penis she was going to be holding any time soon. “That’s not happening. I’m never talking to Chance Ashton ever again.”
Jack gave her a long look that made her feel uncomfortable and more than just a little pathetic. “Hey, not to change the subject, but I’m having a cookout at my condo tomorrow. I meant to ask you the other day if you can be there. Just a few friends before I hit the road.”
That sounded like a fun distraction from her weird thoughts. “Sounds great. I’ll bring a Jell-O salad.” He didn’t deserve an edible arrangement.
Then she turned and called, “Ned! We’re out of here.”
Fortunately Ned had driven separately because he was eying her like she’d lost her mind. Toni did not want to answer whatever question was hovering on his lips.
In her own car, finally alone, she called her best friend, Christy. “You know how when they’re talking about hurricanes and they always say there is nothing more than a category five? Well, I just met a six.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I met a stuntman and I want to have sex with him for seven days straight. Like literally until I’m a dehydrated husk unable to walk.”
“Wow, that sounds appealing. Not.”
It was about a million degrees in her car. Toni cranked the air conditioning up to high and tried to push Chance out of her thoughts. “So how does the world’s most awkward woman score a guy like that? Oh, wait, she doesn’t. Life is cruel, Christy.”
Her best friend laughed. “And you’re dramatic. You could ask him out.”
“I’d rather gouge my eyes out.” There was no way she was putting herself out like that, given she was certain what his answer would be. “But thanks for the suggestion.”
“For being willing to do some seriously outrageous antics, when it comes to romance you’re a bit of a wimp.”
She couldn’t even deny it. “I like to stay humble.”
“You do not. You’re afraid of rejection.”
Duh. “Tell me something I don’t know. Oh, hey, want to go to a cookout at Jack Cooper’s with me tomorrow?”
“Are you for real?”
Toni bent over and stuck her face two inches from the vent, letting the cold air blow across her heated cheeks. “Yes. He just invited me.”
“Oh my God, I love you! I get to meet Jack Cooper. That is so cool. Maybe the stuntman will be there.”
That had never occurred to her. Did stars do that, invite their body doubles to barbeques? She had no idea. “Thank you for ruining it for me.” What small talk was she supposed to make with a man she had a massive teenage girl crush on?
Tugging at the front of her dress she pulled it forward so that air could go over her cleavage. Boob sweat. Every woman’s secret shame.
A knock on her window had her sitting up quickly, and letting out an involuntary shriek. She realized her dress was exposing far too much of her breasts to whoever the hell was invading her personal space. A car was a damn sanctuary, people.
Except that it was Chance bent over looking in her window. She realized she was still gripping the neckline of her dress and she promptly dropped her hand and hit the button to send the window down.
Another woman would have given a darling little laugh and greeted him with a charming smile but Toni just blurted out, “Holy shit, you scared me.”
“What were you doing?” he asked, frowning at her. His eyes were on her cleavage. “Is everything okay?”
“I dropped my phone.” Except her phone was at her ear so that was the world’s stupidest lie. She set it down in her lap. Christy could wait a second. “What’s up?” She mentally cursed the vapid quality of that question.
“I found your earring in my lapel.” He held up the dangling silver drop earring for her to see. “It must have fallen out when my hands were in your hair. Sorry about that.”
Toni swallowed hard. He was so close to her. She could just reach out and kiss him again. Scratch his beard stubble. Tug on his tie. But instead she just accepted the earring. “Thanks. I didn’t feel it fall out.” Because she had been too busy drowning in a wave of unrequited lust.
“You’re welcome.” Chance studied her for a second but then he just stood back up and tapped his hand on the car like he was sending off a taxi.
She threw the earring in the cup holder and rolled the window back up as he walked away. Picking the phone back up, she said, “Help,” to Christy.
“With what? I can’t believe we’re going to a cookout at Jack Cooper’s. I’m freaking out.”
“Forget Jack Cooper.” For Toni, it was all about the stuntman.
She spent her night watching the kiss footage Ned sent her over and over again.
It was both torturous and glorious.
Chance was distracted as he returned from dashing out after Toni. In giving her the earring he had gotten quite an eyeful down her dress. One that he appreciated very much, even though he hadn’t bought her explanation that she was retrieving her phone, given it was at her ear. She was an intriguing woman. Flirty, funny, a little awkward, a little sexy. That kiss hadn’t been awkward at all though.
Quite the opposite.
Jack gave him a grin. “So what do you think of Toni? She’s a fun girl, huh?”
“She’s definitely interesting. I’ve never met anyone like her.” That was an understatement.
“Toni is highly intelligent. Straight A student when we were at Berkeley together.”
“Really?” Chance was genuinely surprised by that for a brief second. “But yeah, I can see that.” Toni was clever, quick-witted. It made sense she would have been a good student.
“She’s single.”
“Uh…” Chance rubbed his chin. Was Jack Cooper playing matchmaker? “She’s not really my type.”
“You don’t think she’s attractive?”
“What?” He was surprised. “No, I think she’s very attractive. She’s adorable and sexy and funny.”
Jack clapped him on the shoulder. “I’m having a cookout tomorrow. You’ll be there, right? Pool party, so wear trunks.”
That was out of left field. Chance had been working with Jack for a couple of years but they had only hung out socially once or twice.
“Tomorrow?” Chance hadn’t done anything fun the last few weeks. He lived a fairly routine life and it would be a welcome change to that. “Sure, great. Thanks for the invite.”
And yes, he wanted to ask Jack if Toni would be there. But he restrained himself. Just barely.