Chapter Four
“Is everything okay?” Chance’s mother asked him.
“Huh?” He was absently chopping tomatoes for a salad for dinner he was going to miss later, listening with half an ear to his sister babbling as she usually did. Sunday dinner every other week was a ritual for the three of them, a way to ensure they were spending time together and keeping up on each others’ lives. But even though he was going to Jack’s cookout instead, he had wanted to drop by his mother’s and see how she was doing. “I’m fine, why?”
His mother had been sick again recently with another lupus flare-up and she looked pale, but glad to be at home. Chance was worried about her. She had no business worrying about him. Given that they had lost his father, her husband, when he was twelve, they both tended to worry neurotically. His sister, on the other hand, chose to bury her head in the sand. That was her coping mechanism.
“You look distracted. Like you’re a million miles away.” His mother put her frail thin hand on his arm and gave him a light squeeze and a smile.
Not for the first time, he wished he could infuse some of his strength into her body. He had more than sometimes he knew what to do with. He was always coiled, ready to spring. It had been his way of dealing with grief after his dad died—boxing, running, martial arts. Any way he could lash out and push his body to the limit.
“I’m fine, Ma. Just thinking about work.” Actually, he was thinking about Toni, the little spitfire on set the day before. He may have knocked her to the ground, but she was the one who had figuratively knocked him on his ass.
That kiss. Damn. He had wanted to scoop her off the asphalt and take her into the nearest trailer and make her his.
Except it was a joke. Or had started as a joke, anyway.
Then when he had returned her earring he’d gotten a glimpse down her dress and that was nothing to laugh about. He’d felt a kick of lust so strong he had barely been able to concentrate on his conversation with Jack afterward.
“I’m sorry to be missing dinner.”
“I just wish you could take me to Jack Cooper’s with you,” Jenny said. “That guy is seriously dreamy.”
“Sorry, I don’t think I was given a plus one. By the way, do you know a comedienne named Toni Salvatore?” he asked his sister over his shoulder.
Jenny was a mortgage broker but she loved pop culture. Two years older than him, she had a serious job but a very carefree personality. He had always envied her that.
She was currently popping a cracker into her mouth. “The YouTuber? Sure, I’ve seen some of her videos. She’ll do anything. She’s hilarious.”
A laugh riot. Or a sexy little temptress. It was a matter of perspective. “I met her yesterday. She thought I was Jack actually.”
Jenny snorted. “What? You don’t look anything like Jack Cooper. Didn’t I just state that he is dreamy? You seriously look nothing like him.”
Chance tossed the tomatoes onto the mixed greens in his mother’s glass salad bowl. “Thanks.” He rolled his eyes. “I am his stuntman and body double, you know.”
“Hollywood can do a lot with special effects.”
“Jenny, stop,” his mother reprimanded. “Chance is very handsome.”
Here he was, twenty-nine years old and getting an endorsement from his mother. Next she’d be fixing him up with one of her church friends’ daughters. “Thanks, Mom, but I don’t need an ego boost. I know I’m not an ogre.”
“Then why don’t you date?”
“How do you know I don’t date?” He hadn’t recently, but it wasn’t like he never dated. They’d gotten off track though. He wanted to talk about Toni. “Have you seen her videos?”
“Why? You’re not exactly the funny man into pranks.” Jenny reached up and tightened her ponytail. She was wearing her Sunday uniform—yoga pants and a graphic T-shirt. This one said “Wild Child” which irrationally irritated Chance. Jenny had always been wild, while he had been forced to man up.
There was a little resentment there, sure. Growing up broke, his mother always struggling, his father always ill, his sister had dealt with it by running wild. He had been the opposite. He loved his sister tremendously though and knew they were just different. But he did hate when she pointed out what she perceived as his character flaws when he already knew them all too well.
When he didn’t respond, she repeated again, “Why? What is going on?”
That was a question he had been asking himself repeatedly since the day before. “Nothing.”
“She’s a comedienne?” his mother asked.
“Yes.”
Jenny pulled her phone out. “I’m going to pull up one of her videos and see what has my little brother so curious.”
Chance had wanted to view her videos but hadn’t gotten around to it. It seemed too stalker-ish. But if his sister did it, he didn’t have to feel weird about it. But once Jenny had a video playing and he was watching over her shoulder, he was regretting his decision to look. It was a montage of Toni running up to random men and kissing them. Jenny was laughing. He was feeling an odd sense of jealousy and irritation.
But that kiss… fireworks. He had seen damn fireworks.
Yet here he was seeing her kiss a dozen guys like it was another day at the office. Which it was.
“Look at this,” Jenny said, turning her phone so their mother could see. “Man, I wish I had guts to do something like that. The reactions from those guys are awesome.”
“Oh, my,” his mom said. “That’s a lot of men she’s kissing. You don’t want to date a woman like that, Chance.”
“A woman like what?” his sister asked. “One who can take a joke? I don’t see the issue with that, geez.”
Neither did he, except he knew himself well enough to know there was nothing funny about him. He was not witty. He wasn’t a laugh riot. He was not impulsive. He wasn’t sure he could keep up with a woman like Toni. Yet something about her and that infectious smile…
“I’m not dating her and I never said I wanted to so it’s a moot point. I don’t even know her.” He had just kissed her.
It was a kiss that had kept him awake the night before, hard as a rock, lying in bed replaying it over and over.
“Gotta go,” he said, realizing he may have already revealed too much. Both his mother and his sister were eyeing him curiously.
Besides, on his sister’s phone Toni was ambushing a skinny man in his forties, who looked terrified and ran away from her. Chance really didn’t want to see that. “Have a good day,” he added as he turned away.
“Later, loser.”
The very minute he opened the gate to Jack’s small back patio entertainment space, Chance spotted Toni. Hell. He hadn’t expected to see her at this shindig. Jack apparently wasn’t exaggerating that he and Toni were old friends. Toni had her head thrown back and was laughing, her curls tumbling down her back.
Just to destroy his peace of mind she was wearing a bikini. Hot pink. With flamingos on it. Her chest was natural and full and bouncing as she laughed. Chance instantly felt overheated and hard as a damn rock. He put the six-pack of beer he’d brought in front of his dick and mentally gave himself an eye roll. Toni did have a towel wrapped around her middle, small favor, so he did not have a view of her rounded ass in bikini bottoms. He wasn’t sure he could see that without embarrassing himself.
Chance waved to Jack, who was across the small yard and went over to the buffet, figuring he needed to stuff some shrimp into his mouth so no one saw him drooling over a comedienne. Except that Toni came up beside him. “I’m allergic to shellfish,” she told him, reaching out for a strawberry. “So I hate to ruin your day but you can’t kiss me now.”
His mouth full, he chewed carefully, eyeing her. He didn’t get her game. That was the problem. He just couldn’t relate to people like her. There was no telling if she was serious or just giving him a hard time. For all he knew she could eat shellfish on the daily. He swallowed the shrimp. “And here I had plans to clear this table and sexually destroy you next to the fruit salad.”
She bit her strawberry and frowned at him. “I don’t get you and it’s driving me crazy. Like what is going on in your head?”
“What’s going on in my head?” He reached out and tapped her forehead gently, her skin warm. “This is the mystery I’d like to solve.”
“What are you even talking about? I’m an open book. You’re like this stone-faced mystery wrapped in an enigma. Do you like me? Hate me? Think I’m the world’s biggest boob? I have no idea.”
That was just nuts that she was claiming he was hard to read when she was the one making outrageous statements.
“I don’t know you,” Chance said. “So I certainly do not hate you. I’m confused by you. I can’t tell if anything that comes out of your mouth is truth or fiction.”
“That’s a little dramatic.” She looked amused.
Which astonished him. He had a valid point. “You told me you’re a stuntwoman. That you had a love affair in Santa Barbara with Jack. That you dropped your phone when it was at your ear. That you’re allergic to shellfish.”
She flicked her tongue over the tip of her strawberry. He didn’t think she meant it to be flirtatious, but it punched him in the gut. He wanted to taste her tongue, tangled with his.
“How do you know I didn’t have a love affair with Jack in Santa Barbara? I could have a love affair if I wanted to.”
That gave him an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. He did not want to picture Toni and Jack naked in a hotel room with a view of the ocean. “You’re right, you could. So you see my dilemma.”
Her nose wrinkled. “Why is it a dilemma for you?”
“Because I think you’re cute.” He didn’t normally have such a complete lack of moves, but with Toni it was all uncharted territory.
Her eyes widened and she rolled the strawberry over her bottom lip, drawing it in to suck the juice off. He wasn’t sure if she knew what she was doing, but it was killing him. He wanted to take it from her, draw it down that glorious cleavage and then lick his way down the sweet path.
“And?” she asked.
Chance set his plate down, needing to get to the heart of the matter here. He was a serious guy and he liked to problem solve. There was only one way to find out if the chemistry he had felt with Toni when he had kissed her was real.
“And I’m going to kiss you,” he told her.
He bent over and took her lips with his.
There it was again. Instant sizzle. She gave a soft sigh and rose up on her toes to meet him, her hands flattening on his abs. Toni tasted like the strawberry, tart and sweet and juicy. Her skin was warm as he cupped her cheeks and took the kiss deeper. Her mouth opened for him without hesitation and he swept his tongue across hers. It was a thorough sensual kiss that left no doubt in his mind.
She wanted him.
And he most definitely wanted her.
There was a reason this was a bad idea but at the moment Toni couldn’t remember what it was. All she could do was stay up on her toes to make sure she was getting the full benefit of all the amazing things his lips were doing to her. They weren’t just kissing. They were mating with their mouths.
Whatever doubt she had felt about his actual interest in her evaporated. This was not a man playing for the camera. She still wasn’t sure if he actually liked her or not but she did know the chemistry between them was legitimate.
Then she remembered something and peeled her lips from his. She dropped down onto the flat of her feet with a thump. Scrubbing her mouth desperately Toni glanced around for a water or a napkin. She settled for rubbing the strawberry she was still holding all over her lips and tossing it down. As if that was going to do a damn thing.
Chance was eyeing her. “You’re scrubbing off my kiss?” He sounded thoroughly annoyed.
Toni was panicking but she didn’t want him to get the wrong impression. “No. It was a good kiss. An amazing kiss.” She gripped his arms and shook him a little. “But, Chance, I really am allergic to shellfish.”
It took a second for it to sink in but then his eyes widened. “Oh, shit. What do we do? Do you have an Epipen?”
“It’s in my other bikini,” she said jokingly, realizing she needed to calm down. She wasn’t deathly allergic. She had never had trouble breathing. She just tended to break out in hives and blisters around her mouth. Her lips were already starting to tingle and she couldn’t attribute that to Chance.
“Do I need to take you to the ER?”
Realizing he looked highly concerned she said, “I’m okay. I usually just break out. I should leave though and get some Benadryl.”
He ran his hand through his short hair. “Oh, hell, Toni, I’m sorry. I thought you were joking about being allergic. Let me take you to the store.”
It occurred to her in a moment of blinding clarity that she spent so much time being “on” and making people laugh with jokes and pranks that Chance had a hell of a point. No one knew when she was actually being serious. And she had even just joked about an Epipen. What was the poor guy supposed to think? “It’s not your fault. I should have stopped you.”
Her lips were swelling and her speech growing a little more muddled with each word. “But I didn’t stop you because I forgot because you kissed me and I really wanted you to kiss me.”
“Oh my God, your poor lips are blowing up.” He looked aghast, a fingertip coming down and touching her flesh, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.
“Is that the finger you ate the shrimp with?” she asked. “I don’t think you should transfer more juice to me.” Toni was mortified. She had a crush on Chance and now she was having an allergic reaction. While wearing a bikini.
If he had been in doubt about her, this had to confirm for him that he really should just run away from her.
He dropped his hand instantly. “Shit. Sorry.” He took her hand and tugged her away from the table. “Let’s go get you some medicine.”
As pleasant as it was to have his hand in hers, there was no way she was allowing him to stay in her presence for more than another minute. Her mouth was only going to get worse and she did not want him seeing her splotchy and puffy. “It’s fine, I can just go. I’m not going to be able to eat or chat with other guests or anything.” She had her palm up blocking his view of her mouth. “And I’m not going to stay at a cookout when I look like this. I will scare people off their lunch. I’ll just head out and grab some meds on the way home.”
“I feel terrible.” Chance looked miserable and a little angry.
Toni was touched. He went from super sexy to kind of downright adorable with that expression on his face. “It’s okay. Honest.” Her words were starting to slur. She reached up and felt her lips. They were like two pincushions. Round and hard. She was grateful she couldn’t look in a mirror. “I have to go before this gets worse.”
When Christy glanced over at them curiously she waved her over.
Her best friend eyed Chance with blatant curiosity before turning to Toni. “Holy shit!” she blurted. “What happened to you?”
“I kissed her,” Chance said. “After I ate shrimp.”
If she had any doubt as to how bad it looked, Christy’s horrified expression confirmed that it was very bad. “Can you drive me to the store and then to my place?” she asked Christy.
“I don’t even know what you just said.”
“She wants you to take her to the store and then home.”
“Oh, right. Sure.” Christy looked torn in two about having to leave the party. She looked longingly over at Jack Cooper.
Toni felt bad ruining her afternoon. “Never mind. You stay. Chance can take me, right?” She didn’t want him seeing her face but she didn’t want to stand around and debate this any longer. She needed drugs STAT. Christy would take her but she would be upset about having missed her opportunity to mingle with the rich and famous. Chance looked like he was eager to make it up to Toni, and he was around this crowd all the time.
“Of course,” he said immediately. “Absolutely. Let’s go. Do you have a bag or anything? I’ll get it for you.”
Rather than try to talk any more than was necessary, the sound of her muffled voice mortifying to her, Toni just turned and went the three feet to where her chaise lounge was. She grabbed her bag, and digging the towel out she lifted it to her face and held it against her mouth.
“What are you doing?” Chance asked bewildered.
“I don’t want you seeing me like this.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Toni just ignored that and texted Christy to let Jack know what had happened.
Even though she was standing right next to her, Christy gleefully texted back a bunch of fist bump and smiling emojis. HELL YEAH.
Then she seemed to realize that Toni was not enjoying herself because she added, “Feel better.”
A little late. Toni didn’t bother to respond to that, but waved to her friend.
“Take care of her, please,” Christy said to Chance.
“I will.” He was so serious that despite her hives, Toni felt a shiver roll through her. Yum. Chance opened the gate for her and they left Jack’s. Shortest pool party ever.
Chance drove a very clean sports car. That surprised her. She wouldn’t have expected him to go for the flashy ride. But then again, he was a stuntman. He must be attracted to the rush of adrenaline. This was probably an extension of that. It was hot from the sun and she decided to drop the towel and just use her hand again to cover her mouth.
“Should you try to drink something?” Chance offered her his water sitting in the cup holder.
Toni took a sip and spilled the majority of it down the front of herself. She swiped at her cleavage, droplets running down between her breasts.
Chance made a funny sound. She glanced over at him in question and realized he was staring at her chest. The man was insane. On a good day, she was cute, not sexy. Right now? She was a hot mess. Yet he looked like he wanted to drag her into the back seat and bury his head in her chest. Which under normal circumstances she would welcome. Right now? She might have felt less sexy when she got her wisdom teeth removed. Otherwise, this was right up there with her least attractive moments.
“Stop staring at my chest and drive,” she told him.
He cleared his throat and made eye contact. “Sorry. There’s a drug store on the next block.”
The drive was short but awkward. Toni couldn’t speak without drooling and Chance was silent. When he pulled in to the store parking lot, he said, “I’ll go in and get it for you.”
She appreciated that because she did not want to show her face. When he hopped out and went towards the door, she flipped the visor down and looked in the mirror. “Mommy,” she said. “This is so bad.” She had hives and red patches rimming her swollen lips, all very raw and angry looking. It was horrifying.
Her entire face was distorted by the swelling and for some inexplicable reason her cheeks were red. Just to add to the glory that was her face right now. “Toni, this is why your life is a joke.”
A hot stuntman told her she was cute and kissed her and she swelled up like a puffer fish.
She hadn’t even been sure he would be there at the cookout. Then he was, looking gorgeous in a tight T-shirt and swim trunks. No sunglasses, like he was so tough the sun didn’t burn his eyes. Toni had strolled up to him, willing to give conversation a shot, figuring it might be her last chance to interact with the stuntman. Plus while some women hated being in a bathing suit, for Toni it was the one time she led with her best asset—her perky chest. All natural, her breasts gave her an edge in L.A.
It hadn’t been going all that well though, to be honest, even considering the kiss. Chance thought she was incapable of being serious. Looking at her face she cursed her lack of balance. She wasn’t going to stop being funny, but she also didn’t want to be the little boy who cried wolf either. She wanted an opportunity to prove to Chance that she wasn’t just a full-time bullshitter.
After her face no longer looked like a dermatological disaster.
Chance hopped back into the car and handed her the bag as he studied her face. “Here. Maybe you should take the medication right now.”
“Stop looking at me,” she said. “You are not allowed to look at me, do you understand?”
“It’s kind of hard not to.”
That almost made her laugh. She shielded her swelling with the palm of her hand. “Under other circumstances that could be highly romantic.”
He winced. “I didn’t mean for that to be rude or insulting.”
“We’ve had some unique interactions so far. I’m not sure where we go from here, other than to retreat in bewilderment.” Toni was forced to drop her hand to open the box of pills. She popped one out of the blister and threw it in her mouth. She swallowed it dry because she wasn’t sure she could get anything past her blimp-like lips anyway.
“Can I take you out for a drink? Maybe we can just talk. Like normal people.”
“You mean without me climbing you or you throwing me on the ground or shrimp kisses?”
His mouth twitched like he was resisting the urge to smile. “Yes.” He pulled out of the parking lot. “What do you say?”
“I say yes.” She wasn’t sure what if anything she and Chance could possibly have in common, but she wanted to find out. “But tonight isn’t good for me.”
Now he did laugh. “Very funny.”
She tried to grin but her swelling didn’t allow her much movement. She clapped her hand over her mouth again. “Now take me home and leave me to my recovery before I’m forced to send you a nude selfie so you forget how horrible I look right now.”
He made a strangled sound. “Okay, ground rules. No joking about nude selfies.”
“And?”
“That’s it. No joking about nude selfies. My blood pressure can’t take it.”
It was just so hard to believe he was actually interested in her. “Now you’re the one joking.”
But then he glanced over at her. Or, her breasts anyway.
“Do I look like I’m laughing?” he asked.
Then he met her gaze and Toni forgot what they were even talking about. The man had eyes that smoldered. He should be in cologne ads and put forth as an all-natural aphrodisiac. She relaxed, mesmerized by his ability to make her feel like the sexiest woman alive.
His finger reached out and swiped the corner of her mouth. “You’re drooling a little.”
Toni slapped her hand back in place. She wasn’t even sure if she was drooling from the allergic reaction or from lust.
Either way, it was just the icing on the cake.
“That’s part of my act,” she told him.
He gave her a smile and a slow headshake. “I don’t believe you but I’m willing to pretend I do. Now let’s get you home.”
Toni gave him her address for his GPS and fortunately for once L.A. traffic didn’t drag out the short drive. Neither of them said much, the medication kicking in quickly and making her feel sleepy on top of her itching and swelling.
At her apartment in Silver Lake, Chance opened her door and offered her a hand. “Let’s get you inside.”
She thought she should protest and attempt to be an independent woman who needed no assistance, but in this situation that seemed counterproductive. “Do you think you could carry me?” she asked hopefully.
He eyed her. She thought he would tell her to forget it, but to her surprise once she was vertical, he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder fireman style. She let out a shriek. This was not what she had in mind. “I meant like Officer and a Gentleman style!”
But she was speaking into his back and her speech was still impacted by the swelling so she doubted he heard her. All the blood rushed forward in her face and she wondered if it were possible to have her cheeks and lips actually explode. It certainly felt like they were.
This was definitely classic Toni Salvatore. She asked for a muscular man to carry her and she wound up bouncing on his back, her bikini-clad booty somewhere up near his ear. She decided she should just relax and enjoy the view of Chance’s muscles working beneath that tight T-shirt.
When he got to her door and righted her, gently setting her on the ground, Toni spent what felt like five minutes thrusting her crazy curls out of her face. Then she dug her key out of her bag and finally faced him.
“Call me,” she said and pretended to dial a phone and hold it to her ear.
He smiled and shook his head, like she was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever seen. Which she probably was.
Toni high-tailed it into her apartment, stumbling past her cat, who gave a meow of protest. She stomped straight to her bedroom, saying, “Ahhh,” the whole time.
Jack’s words popped into her head. “You’re a fun girl, Ton,” she mocked out loud to her mirror.
Then she exchanged her bikini for a giant T-shirt that said “I speak French fries” and went straight for the freezer for ice cream, like any self-respecting single woman would after being kissed by a sexy stuntman and breaking out in hives.
Her lips were so swollen she missed her mouth.
“Damn it,” she said to her cat, Bologna. “I missed.”
He jumped up onto the countertop, which he wasn’t supposed to do, and licked the ice cream lid.
Toni sighed and wiped her mouth as her phone dinged. It was a text from Jack.
WTF??
That about summed up her life in general.