CHAPTER TWELVE
CAILYN
Cailyn's life existed as a confusion of contradictory emotions and thoughts.
At first, the black gloom that settled over her paralyzed her emotions. It weighed so heavy on her, she barely felt anything other than an extreme eagerness to escape everything. Even the flutter in her stomach had disappeared. The only firm decision that she was sure she made correctly was the agreement with Drocco. At least she knew when everything would end—when she would finally be free. No more running, no more hiding, no more disappointment or expectations… just true freedom.
However, she hadn’t been able to sink into the peace of that black deadness. Something about an Alpha fumbling about in her home and asking stupid questions drove her to distraction. She wanted everything to stay how she already had it—why did he have to change things? She was never coming back here, there was no need to fix anything. She almost went into an unreasonable tantrum when he dug out the rotten food in her vegetable patch. So what if she couldn’t grow anything? It was her patch to grow crappy vegetables in and he had no fucking right. She told him so. Repeatedly. And when he shuffled through her clothing, holding out one badly sewn tunic after another and throwing her disapproving looks, she could have exploded. It was a few days of constant ranting before she’d even realized the gloom had lessened considerably.
Since then a confusion had settled over her that she couldn’t escape from. She truly hated Drocco. Hated him more than anything for what he had done to her. And yet, the Alpha in her home wasn’t the Drocco she recognized. Since making that deal with her, he had been… different. He didn't touch her and hardly spoke to her unless she spoke to him first. He fixed things and told her stories, and aided her when her body was acting crazy. She couldn’t figure out what he was trying to achieve by this behavior. Maybe he wanted to throw her off her guard, but what would be the point? Maybe he had given up trying with her, now that she had negotiated her true freedom. Yet the thought of that was unsatisfactory to her too. When Drocco cuddled her into him, purring his softer, soothing purr against her back, his scent surrounding her and his thick arm encasing her, nothing better existed. Even when she was nauseous, the pleasure of having him touch her had her sighing and sinking closer to him. She concluded it was because they hadn’t mated at all since arriving at her home, but even that she was confused by.
She had resolved to never, ever initiate sex with him. If she did, it would only send the wrong message, and she didn’t want him to have any reason to renegotiate their deal. And yet her Omega instincts violently disagreed. She tried not to think of those instincts as separate, the Mothers had confirmed that they weren’t, but the way in which they affected her body, her thoughts, it was almost as if it was someone else. Someone else who wanted Drocco’s tongue claiming her mouth, who wanted him gripping her thighs open while he plunged into her, who wanted the heady scent of his cock filling her nose as she sucked on its wet tip. The desire was almost maddening.
Outwardly she remained as indifferent as she could. It was easier to do when tendrils of her despair still lingered and the constant reminder of her restrictions literally lay at her neck. This wasn’t like his prison bedroom where she was overly stimulated by his scent and his touch—she was sure she could resist him. So she allowed herself to be curious about him. She would likely be the only person to ever hear his history, to ever know that he was really a carpenter, to ever see this side of him. So she indulged in that.
“Tell me about your father.”
Drocco paused from fitting the slated window panes into a shutter he was fixing.
“I know,” Cailyn said before he could respond. “I know you need a secret. Ask away.”
Drocco secured the panes into the shutter and sat in stillness before speaking. “You said Omegas ran this Omega village.”
Cailyn’s mood sunk. In her desolation, she had promised to give him precious information. Information that she had been prepared to die for previously. And yet, in her anguish, she hadn’t cared. The Mothers were the ones that had abandoned her. They would never accept her now. Why should she live a tortured life when they had given up on her? They planned to erase both of their memories anyway, so the quicker they did, the less damage it would do for Drocco to know. Still, she battled a tight squeeze in her chest as she answered. “Yes.”
“Do you have some kind of social structure? A council or a ruler?”
Cailyn forced herself not to fidget on the wooden chair she sat on. “We have a council of elderly Omegas called the Mothers, who lead us.”
Drocco frowned in thought for a moment. “Is the whole village made up of Omega spies?”
“No. There are different roles and purposes for each Omega. Everyone contributes in some way to keep our existence safe and positive.”
“So if you all live there, why do you have this lodge?”
“Those of us who undertake dangerous missions tend to need time and space on our own… to process some of the things we experience. It’s better sometimes to do that away from the other Omegas. This lodge used to belong to an older Omega spy who retired.”
Drocco was silent for a long time. “Did your Omega leaders provide you with proof of what they told you about Alphas?”
Cailyn’s discomfort turned to a mild defensiveness. “They showed us reports. And many of the witness statements of Omegas who were alive at the time.”
“Those could be faked.” Drocco turned the shutter over slowly, his brows knit. “Were any of your council alive when this village was started?”
“At least one of them was.”
“And she didn’t have a mate?”
Cailyn lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know. I think she did.”
“You should know,” Drocco said sharply, snapping his head up to look at her. “How can you blindly follow someone that cannot prove what they say?”
“There is no reason for them to lie,” Cailyn shot back. “What would be the point? Tell me what benefit there is in going through the hassle of creating such a secret and hidden life only to support a lie? They are Omegas themselves and have deprived themselves too. They know that Omegas need and crave—” She stopped abruptly, shocked at what she had been about to say.
Something changed in his eyes, and a smirk appeared on his lips. “That you need and crave what?” His whole stance changed and, in an instant, he was the Drocco from the Palace bedroom—the one that didn’t give a shit about her concerns and simply fucked and knotted her to his heart’s content. Her nipples hardened and a divine tingle between her legs told her her slick was gathering. Yes, it was this Drocco a large part of her wanted.
She forced herself to look away from him. “N-nothing,” she stuttered. “That’s not what I meant to say.”
Drocco made that familiar noise in the back of his throat. When she glanced back at him, he was attaching the shutter to the window frame.
A harsh annoyance flared through her at the realization that he was not going to act on his desire. She got up abruptly and moved over to the couch, but halfway there, he began talking.
"My father was born in Hallowcryst. He also grew up learning the Southern Lands warrior beliefs as well as my grandfather’s carpenter training."
Cailyn padded back to the wooden chair and sat back down quietly.
"But my father wasn’t a warrior—he struggled with any weapon my grandfather tried to train him in, but he did excel in design." Drocco tested the shutter, pressing it firmly to see whether it would move. When he was satisfied, he brushed off his hands and began to clear up. “He spent his time thinking up designs that would help around their home and trying to create them. His creations were impressive, and eventually Grandfather sent him to Grence so he could receive further training. As he trained, he would design weapons and Grandfather would create them, and they were beautiful. Grandfather used them to train. Soon, my father’s designs were in high demand. No one knew that he could create weapons but his other designs, especially those that made life easier in the home, became very popular.
"Eventually, the King of Ashens requested him to make items for his Palace. My father would visit the Palace every week to consult with him on the projects that he wanted. However, the King of Ashens had begun to collect Omegas."
“Collect Omegas?"
“Yes. He had rounded up the last of the unattached Omegas in Ashens in order to protect them from being taken—at least, that's what he said he was doing. My father was tasked to design items for their living area. He visited the Palace regularly in order to fit and test the items, and that was where he met my mother."
Drocco paused as he surveyed the window. He glanced around looking at the rest of the room. "Are there any other windows to mend in here?"
“Did he instantly know that she was for him too?" Cailyn asked.
“I don't know," Drocco replied. "He did go to see her regularly and they had a relationship."
“Did they soul-bond?"
“Not straight away." The hardness of Drocco's jaw told her something wasn't quite right. He moved across the room to examine the broken part of the fireplace.
“Why not?"
Drocco took a moment to answer. "She belonged to the King of Ashens who claimed that she was there for her safety and he couldn’t possibly let her go to such a rural area in Hallowcryst. My father tried to get him to change his mind; pleading with him and trying to persuade him, but the king remained firm.”
Cailyn frowned. “Your father was an Alpha?”
“Exactly!” Drocco barked, his eyes flashing. “He was a fucking Alpha. He shouldn’t have been pleading or begging anyone.”
“You believe he should have just taken her?” Cailyn said evenly. “Like your grandfather did?” Like he did.
Drocco shot her a look that suggested he had guessed her unspoken thought. He headed over to where the spare materials and tools lay and sifted through them.
“Maybe he wanted to respect the King of Ashens?” Cailyn suggested. “Maybe he was loyal to him. Did you consider that?”
“My grandfather reached that conclusion too,” Drocco responded, gruffly. “He had instilled the meaning of honor into my father, but he was honor bound to the wrong person.”
“Why? What happened?”
Drocco found what he was looking for and returned to the fireplace. “My mother became pregnant.”
Cailyn’s brows shot up. “While she was still at the Palace?”
“Yes. The King of Ashens wasn’t happy, but he had to accept that it was what my mother wanted. He had to allow her to be with her Alpha during the pregnancy. However, he still didn’t believe that she would be safe so he sent three Talent-crafters to watch over her.”
Cailyn almost groaned, a sense of dread growing.
"My mother and father were happy for a period of time. She gave birth to me and she felt safe and content. However, the Talent-crafters weren’t happy at all. They had been removed from the luxuries of Ashens to live in the rural countryside of Hallowcryst. Their magic hid the village from outsiders, but they complained continuously about their new lives and found excitement and entertainment in torturing the people of our village. During the time I grew up, I was careful never to be near them or to antagonize them, but the village was small and they cycled through the villagers in order to keep themselves amused.
"I once came across them torturing a boy from a neighboring plot who sometimes trained with me. They would wrap magic around his head so he couldn't breathe and then release him when they thought he'd had enough. It was game to see how long they could make him hold his breath."
"That's horrible," Cailyn whispered.
"I ran home and got my axe."
"You had an axe? How old were you?"
"Eight," Drocco said, glancing at her. "Grandfather taught me about weaponry and trained me since the age of five. He claimed I had a knack for it and he made my father design me my own axe. It was smaller than my grandfather's, but it was sharp and strong."
Cailyn fidgeted on her chair, on edge about what she was about to hear next. "What happened?"
"The Talent-crafters laughed at me. I stood in front of the boy, who could barely stand by then, and told them to leave him alone. They laughed and mocked me. They believed that a stupid little Alpha couldn't do them any damage. So I threw my axe into one of their heads."
Cailyn gasped. "One of the king’s Talent-crafters?"
"I don't give a shit who they were," Drocco thundered, throwing her a dark look. "They weren’t doing their jobs. They preferred to torture people and force the village to give them supplies and food and clothing for free, just because they could wield magic. They were despicable." He exhaled slowly, turning back to the fireplace. "Me and the boy escaped, but of course the remaining Talent-crafters knew where to find me. They destroyed our home and took all of my grandfather's weaponry, but my mother was heavily pregnant at this time and they destroyed her home and nest. The rest of the villagers were outraged and petitioned the king to do something about them.
"The king’s guards came to question me and the Talent-crafters, who still remained in the village making our lives hell. Eventually, the king visited the village and held a trial of sorts. He asked me what happened, and I told him. He explained to me that the Talent-crafters had given him their word to protect my mother and if he were to punish them for being in my village, then he would be punishing their loyalty. He asked me if I wanted them to keep their word and stay in Hallowcryst. I said no. I told him that keeping their word should not be a burden on others. He laughed and said that they needed some compensation for their sacrifice to stay in a village such as mine. They were in the early stages of madness caused by the Talent and that had to be tolerated if I expected my mother to be kept safe.”
Drocco worked solidly on the fireplace, carefully cementing over the last broken brick. But Cailyn could tell by the way he held himself that he was tense. He remained silent for such a long while that Cailyn thought he wasn’t going to continue.
“My grandfather argued on my behalf and the father and grandfather of the boy I had helped argued on my behalf. I expected my father to say something—he didn’t. And then I found out why.”
Cailyn almost held her breath. “Why?” she breathed.
“He had promised the king the first Omega child my mother bore. The one she was pregnant with. He knew that if, for any reason, the Talent-crafters stopped protecting her and she disappeared, he would be held for treason.”
“But the disappearance wouldn’t have been his fault,” Cailyn argued.
“He took her from the king’s Palace where she was supposedly safe,” Drocco said, through gritted teeth. “It didn’t matter that all of the other Omegas she’d been held with were taken. It didn’t matter that any Omega child she had was likely to be taken too. None of that mattered to the king.”
Cailyn exhaled the breath she had been holding. “This was the late king? The one you defeated? Is this why you killed him?”
Drocco glanced at her. “The story is not over.” He stepped back to look at his work. “When it was all revealed, my grandfather was furious. I had not yet understood the impact of the king’s words, but the villagers were shocked. The king knelt down to speak to me and explained the importance of promises and honor. I told him that my grandfather had already taught me that. He told me that I had committed a crime by murdering one of his Talent-crafters and that the debt had to be repaid. My grandfather tried to interrupt but he and the other villagers were held back. He asked me if I would allow the Talent-crafters to take their repayment, and if so, he would allow them to break their promise and leave the village. I would not be arrested and the villagers would be left in peace. I told him yes and swore my agreement to the deal. The king rose and told them to repay the debt.”
Drocco took a breath and turned to her. Cailyn couldn’t look away from the complex depth in his eyes.
“The Talent-crafters, in their madness, used the Talent to rip my unborn sibling from my mother’s womb.”
Cailyn gasped. “What?” She blinked repeatedly, tears prickling her eyes as the shock pounded through her.
Drocco’s eyes held hers. “The king urged them not to hurt the baby, but they tore her open with magic to get the child out. The villagers were in an uproar but the king’s guards still held them back. When they checked the child afterward to ensure it was healthy, they discovered that the child was male, and therefore couldn’t be the Omega female the king wanted. My father had lied because he knew the king’s patience was running thin—I don’t know how he hoped to keep it a secret. At least if the child had been female, it would have given him more time before her dynamic was discovered. The king ordered him imprisoned for treason and threw my brother, like trash, to the ground to die next to my mother.”
Cailyn had no words. Her hands fidgeted in her lap and her erratic breathing filled her own ears. She couldn’t imagine how anyone could be so cruel, or how a young boy could deal with such an event.
“Before he left, he told me that I should respect when someone gives their word, and that he trusted I would remember that a promise given to the king is the strongest of all. I had forced the Talent-crafters to break their promise to him, so he had intended to take the child with him immediately.” Drocco’s jaw clenched as he spoke. “I told him I would give him another promise to replace theirs. I vowed to one day repay him and take three of the things he held dear above all others. And I did. I took his kingdom, his family, and his life.”
The silence that grew in the room was thick but Cailyn dared not break it. Drocco stood by the fireplace, his eyes distant with memory. She had never seen such a tortured expression on his face before.
“After that, my grandfather trained me and the other boy, Torin,” he said, his voice quiet. He bent back down to the fireplace. “He taught us that lies bring nothing but pain. That there is nothing we come into the world with except our word. Nothing is more important than honor and loyalty, especially when it comes to our Omegas.” He lifted his head again, and his black eyes swirled. “My father disrespected his Omega. He wasn’t loyal to her or her well-being, he didn’t intend to protect her for the rest of her life. She was one of the last Omegas that existed in the Eastern Lands at that time and he was not worthy of her. The moment I realized this, I knew I had to find mine. An Omega of my own—the one that’s supposed to be for me. One I can be worthy for.”
Something strange skipped down Cailyn’s spine. Her eyes held his for a long moment and a longing arose to touch him. Then he turned back to the fireplace.
Cailyn rose slowly from her chair and padded to their makeshift bed on the floor. Drocco glanced at her, frowning as she sat down. “Are you unwell?”
“I’m tired,” she whispered, her throat aching from the sobs that had threatened. Drocco watched her as she lay on her side and curled her legs up. She watched him back.
Finally he rose, and slowly made his way to her, slipping in behind her and pulling her into him. She rubbed her hand along his thick arm around her waist and his purr erupted, heavy and deep. He curled his legs underneath hers, creating a strong, hard, rumbling cocoon for her, and lowered his face into her shoulder. He traced his nose in circles on her shoulder, and then ran the tip down her collarbone and up her neck, sending a tingly shiver straight to her core. As he scented her, she knew he was taking comfort in her; in the feel of her, the smell of her, and in the fact that she had invited him to. And that pleased her more than she ever thought possible.
***
Time passed slowly, but soon much of the property was fixed to Drocco’s standards. They entered a kind of limbo, where there wasn't much to do. Cailyn began cooking for them, instead of letting Drocco do it. The man could fix a window, but his skills with an earthstove were seriously lacking. Of course, she didn’t do it to feed him—it was only to give her something to do as the time passed, and she did enjoy cooking.
She decided not to be insulted by his utter amazement at her cooking skills. He almost finished the entire pot of her spiced boar and bean stew after ensuring she ate twice, and then told her she would be cooking for the rest of their stay. She also busied herself by washing and making clothes, while Drocco kept the fireplace maintained and replanted her earth patch. He also watched her a lot of the time, peculiar expressions on his face, and she was content to let him do so. They didn’t exchange stories again. A strange atmosphere enveloped them since he told her about his parents, and she didn’t know how to shake it off. She couldn’t look at him the same way. Clearly, in his childhood, he’d suffered a trauma that revolved around honesty, loyalty, and oath-breaking. It was no wonder those things were the most important to him.
One morning, as she lay thinking deeper about his upbringing, she asked, “Why is Torin in your army?”
His arm jolted very slightly around her. “Why not?” Drocco asked.
“It’s just, the rest of your army are Alphas and he is a Beta…”
Drocco was silent as he thought, his breathing smooth and steady.
“Part of the reason why I created an Alpha army is to protect Alphas,” Drocco said. “I didn’t want any Alpha to suffer at the hands of Betas in power, like my unborn brother. I came to realize quickly that Alpha birth rates would decline, and I didn’t want the same panic that happened with the Omegas to be our downfall. We are stronger together.” He shifted her slightly and she felt his hardness on her bottom. “My grandfather had also taught me about dynamic purity, and I realized that I was one of the few pure Alphas left, and that made our situation even worse. I realized I would be the one likely to succeed in creating the Lox because other Alphas would instinctively feel that connection with me.”
“To follow you?” Cailyn asked, tilting her bottom slightly.
“No,” Drocco struggled to find the words he meant. “To be… inspired. Or to recognize I had something different from them. I don’t know how to explain it. But the point is it fell to me to make the decision to do that because of dynamic purity—something I had no control over. Torin has no control over the fact that he is a Beta. I underestimate him frequently because of his dynamic, yet he has been by my side even when I didn’t want him to be. He has proven the most loyal, most passionate, and most cunning of all of my warriors. He could have easily been born an Alpha. He’s not in awe of me. And his intelligence is unique. He doesn’t think how I think and that is useful to me. But most importantly, he tells me the truth, always.”
Cailyn turned around to face him. “Do you think it’s guilt?”
Drocco frowned. “Guilt for what?”
“You helped him, and as a result, you lost most of your family.”
“It was my choice to deal with that situation in that way.”
“It doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel guilty about it.”
Drocco shook his head. “No.”
“Guilt can make people do—”
“No,” Drocco said, sternly. “It’s not guilt. He was there that day. He understands.”
Cailyn stared at him. “Understands what?”
Drocco glared back at her, his nostrils flaring as his black eyes took her in, almost challenging her to make the connection.
Cailyn’s eyes widened with understanding. “You feel guil—”
Drocco growled and grabbed the back of her head, leaning in close to her, his mouth inches from hers. His body pressed against hers, and his cock rubbed against her. She didn’t remove her eyes from his, but relished the feeling of being held so securely. That familiar trembly feeling slammed into her full force.
“My mother told me that Omegas need their Alphas,” he breathed, his eyes wild. “They rely on them fiercely and need their devotion and protection. She had three, and she still died in the most disgusting way.”
“You were only eight—”
“It makes no difference!” he bellowed. “It was my word that decided her fate and the fate of my brother. I will be responsible for that forever.”
He held her eyes, his determined gaze softening as he took her in. The trembling within her spiked in intensity, until she could barely stand it. She wanted him. Just as she began to open her legs and entice him to take her, Drocco let her go and got up.
Her sexual need for him became worse after that. She remained in a constant state of acute arousal no matter what she did to try and distract herself from it. Drocco also seemed to be distracted, but she could only assume it was because of the bad memories he had relived. The worst of it was that she was annoyed by his lack of interest in her. She wanted his attention. She wanted him to fuck her and knot her and stroke her. She couldn’t deny it or blame it on something else this time. And if she was going to die anyway, why couldn’t she have that if she wanted it?
One morning, Drocco left to collect wood for the fireplace and she remained in bed. She had woken up unconsciously grinding her ass on his hard length and he got up and left pretty quickly. It infuriated her. After months of fucking her when she didn’t ask for it, he was now suddenly deciding not to bother. Maybe now that she had given him some of the information he wanted, he no longer had an interest in her, but that couldn’t be true.
She rolled onto her back and ran her hands down her stomach. He had once not been able to keep his hands off of her, gripping her roughly, spreading her wide, holding her down. She ran her fingers over her breasts, playing with her nipples until they hardened, then slid them down to her pussy, running them through her slippery slit before fingering her clit. Their time in his bedroom stirred in her mind heightening her longing for him. Maybe if she relieved herself, it would dampen her arousal for him.
Her slick increased, soaking her fingers and running onto the bedding. She kicked off the sheets, eyes closed as she sought her release, knowing it would never be as good as what Drocco gave her, but needing it anyway. Nothing could compare to his tongue, his fingers, his cock. She pushed her hips up into her hand as she slid two fingers in, trembling with anticipation.
The clatter of branches sounded in the kitchen.
Cailyn’s eyes flew open and she scrambled for the sheets as Drocco walked into the living room.
“I managed to get enough for the next week but…”
Cailyn covered herself, tucking her face below the blanket as he slowed to a stop a few feet from the bedding. She heard him sniff once.
“Cailyn.” His voice had a grit to it that she recognized, and more slick trickled out of her. She squeezed her eyes shut, a searing heat rushing to her face.
“Cailyn!”
Cailyn inched her head up slowly and looked at him.
His eyes were wild, his fists clenched. “What were you doing in here?”
She didn’t know how to answer, so she didn’t. She simply blinked back at him, her cheeks burning.
“Fuck!”
His exclamation made her jump. She tried to say something but her mouth wouldn’t work.
“Fuck!” He paced the length of the living room, the bulge of his pants growing bigger and more defined by the moment.
She tried to think of something to say, but all of her explanations seemed weak and she wasn’t even sure exactly why he was angry.
The more he paced the more agitated he became. His scent reached her and she breathed deeply, closing her eyes, her head rolling back. “You want to torture me, is that it?” he snarled at her. “It’s not enough that you expect me to fucking kill you, you have to torture me on the way too?”
Cailyn frowned and lowered the blanket, trying to understand the meaning of his words.
“Fuck.” He stopped in the middle of the room, staring at her. Her whole body shivered at his gaze but she didn’t move.
He backed away slowly and sat on the couch before turning away from her, breathing hard.
Cailyn lowered her blanket and got up slowly. Her hard nipples grazed the fabric of her tunic and sent shock waves of pleasure through her body. She breathed in his scent, her slick dripping onto her thighs as she made her way to him.
He didn’t look at her but she knew he was aware of her. She stopped by his leg and noticed how tense he was holding himself.
Raising her hand, she reached out to touch his shoulder.
Drocco grabbed her wrist, his eyes snapping to hers. “If you touch me,” he growled, “I will fuck you.”
A spark shot to her clit as his rumbling words vibrated through her.
“I will not hold back. I will not be careful. I will not care about your emotions.” His eyes were dark and inky, just like when he was in his rut. Fucking amazing. “I will do everything you thought you hated back in our bedroom—everything your body called for. So do not touch me, Cailyn.”
Cailyn lifted her other hand and reached for his face. His eyes widened slightly when he saw it and then snapped back to her face. They stared at each other as her hand inched closer, his eyes becoming darker, his scent deepening as he realized what was about to happen. And then the pad of her finger brushed his cheek.
Drocco shot off the couch and scooped her into his arms, slamming her to his chest and maneuvering her legs around his waist. Cailyn moaned at the feel of him, hard, muscled, thick, hot—a thrill soaring through every part of her body. He kissed her hard, shoving his tongue into her mouth and sucking her like a desperate man. She locked her arms around his neck and sighed into his mouth. She had missed his taste, his claiming kiss, his fucking amazing sexual scent. He yanked at her tunic, tearing the material away so he could squeeze her breasts and pinch her nipples.
A wall hit her back, but Cailyn was too far gone sucking Drocco’s tongue to notice. She writhed against him as he pushed his whole body against hers, holding her ass with one hand as he pressed in between her legs.
“You want it, Cailyn?” he murmured into her mouth, unbuckling his pants. “Tell me.” His cock pressed into her slick-drenched pussy, rubbing against her clit as he ground into her. She hummed in delight, squeezing her legs around him as his hips undulated. “Tell me,” he demanded, as he lined himself up.
A hazy memory flashed in her mind.
Do it again, Cailyn. Smile for me.
She eased her head back to the wall, loving the way his black eyes roved over her face, and smiled at him.
Drocco groaned and thrust into her, ramming her to the root. She gasped, shuddering at the fiery gratification of finally having him. The satisfaction resonated so deep that nothing else existed. Her eyes rolled, her head lolling on the wall.
“Eyes,” he barked.
She forced her head back to look at him and he lowered his forehead to touch hers. Then he fucked her.
He held her open, pushing her thighs toward the wall as he pummeled her, plunging so deep and hard that her toes went numb and a sweet ache developed in the base of her spine. The soppy sounds of their fucking filled the room and Drocco’s primal grunts caused even more slick to cream around his cock. But he wouldn’t let her look down between them. He wanted her eyes on him the whole time, his exhales becoming heavier as her eyes stared into his.
Then he suddenly withdrew and carried her to the bedding. Kneeling down, he turned her away from him and ripped away the torn tunic hanging from her. He grabbed her hip and guided her down onto his massive cock. She whimpered at the stretch, wriggling in response to the newly caressed spots singing within her. Drocco moved her up and down on him until he was slamming her down in a punishing rhythm. Yanking her head back by her hair, he forced her to arch back toward him, jutting out her chest so he could reach around and squeeze her breasts and caress her nipples as she rode him unaided, her eyes locked on his.
“You’re beautiful, little Omega,” he breathed. “You’re the most incredible thing that exists. Fucking incredible in every way.”
With each word, he became rougher. Cailyn cried out as he clawed her, the wild, almost feral nature of his claiming electrifying every nerve within her. The sharp pain of her scalp, the raw, hard, scratch on her breasts, the zinging pinch of her nipples, and the blunt, savage nature of his cock plundering her pussy.
Her climax shattered her. Everything twisted inside out and upside down. She was simply a mass of contorting, convulsing nerves broken and scarred by something more powerful than she could ever hope to comprehend.
She didn’t even know when Drocco came. She found herself underneath him, crushed into their bedding, his knot locked onto her, his breath in her ear. As she slowly came to realize the position she was in, the one he had fucked her in most of the time back in Malloron’s castle, she began to struggle against the weight on top of her. The purring began immediately, this time soft and mellow. Drocco shifted onto his side and cocooned her with his arms and legs. He moved the hair covering her neck and kissed her, trailing down to her shoulders and back again while his knot connected them together.
As she drifted to sleep, a sensation appeared in her stomach. This time instead of a jittery flutter, it rippled within her as a slow wave, rising and falling in its own rhythm. Within a few moments, its vibration transformed to match Drocco’s purr, and an intense feeling of contentment spread through her mind and body as the three of them finally connected as one.
***
When she woke again, the day had suddenly jumped to the afternoon. The smatter of rain on the window panes signaled a change in weather and the mood within the hut had also transmuted into something different.
She knew Drocco was awake, she could tell by his breathing, but she said nothing. They lay in silence for a long time, Cailyn thinking through everything that had happened between them.
“Why did you touch me when you knew what would happen?” Drocco asked, his deep voice gravelly.
Cailyn sighed. “I was just thinking that myself.”
His arm tightened. “You regret it?”
“Not exactly.”
“That is not a satisfactory answer,” he said, his tone sharp. “Are you going to tell me it was your hormones again?”
Cailyn hesitated to answer. She turned around and cuddled into Drocco and he encircled her with his arms just like when they were in her nest back in the Palace. The rippling wave in her stomach was still present as well as slight burn of the scratches on her breasts; both sensations calmed her somewhat. She decided to be honest. “I don't know what is me or what is my hormones anymore."
“It is all you," Drocco replied, unknowingly echoing what the Mothers had said. "You deny the most unique part of yourself, Cailyn. You hide it, and shut it away. You talk of it as though it is something separate from who you are. It is unnatural, and has caused you much more mental anguish than is necessary."
She knew this to be true now, but he couldn’t blame everything on her. “You’re the one that has caused me mental anguish," Cailyn murmured against his chest. "You impregnated me against my will. You used my Haze to trap me with your child. You enjoy using my instincts against me, Drocco. You didn’t give me a choice."
Drocco yanked her back from him, so he could look in her eyes. "No, you didn’t give me a choice," he said harshly. "You told me I would never see you again. Even after everything I did to try and settle you. I had to make sure you could never again use that threat against me. And besides, it was the only way I could insert myself between you and Malloron." His black eyes drank her in. “I told you that you were mine, Cailyn, and I wasn’t jesting or biding my time or drunk on your pussy. I could feel, from the beginning, that you were mine. You should be able to feel it too, but you resist it.” His eyes burned with a smoldering annoyance. “I do not force you to be attracted to me, you just are. You cannot lay blame for your feelings at my feet. Yes, I enjoy every part of you I can, but tell me what Alpha would resist something so irresistible? So beautiful? So pure and raw? I tried to stay away from you in that way, but tell me what Alpha would say no to an Omega made for him? An Omega whose scent begs him to pleasure her the way only he knows how?” He exhaled again and then pulled her into him. “There is none that would, Cailyn,” he murmured into her temple. “Your opinions of Alphas have been disfigured by those who have forced you to think that hiding your true self is normal.”
Cailyn breathed shallowly against his vibrating chest for a long while thinking upon everything he said. “You haven’t fucked me in all this time because you wanted me to realize I want you?”
“I didn’t want you to blame me for something that cannot be helped.”
She sighed. “I do know that our attraction cannot be helped, Drocco.”
He pulled back to look at her again, wariness in his eyes. “It’s not just about attraction. Do you know that you need me like I need you? Do you know that in your Haze you were happy about your pregnancy? Do you know that I’m your Alpha? It’s not just about the act of mating, Cailyn. It has never been just that for me.”
When she didn’t respond, he pulled her back to his chest, and her thoughts revolved, turbulent and confused, until she was unable to make sense of them anymore. “When did you know?” she asked, quietly. “When did you feel that I was yours?”
“The moment I scented you.” He paused. “And possibly before that. I wanted you when I met you, but I didn’t know why.” He stroked her arms, his purr deepening.
Her heart sped up. Drocco had always felt they were true mates, even with her blocks in place. Why couldn’t she tell like he could? Something Mother Orlee said floated back to her. Did you take time to get to know him? To find out why he is the way he is? Did you have any honest and open conversations with him without any hostility.
“If that’s true, why did you keep me locked up, then?” she asked, trying to keep the bitterness from her tone. “You claim to treasure Omegas. You claim I am your Omega, but you have no regard for my well-being. You tortured me. You hurt me. You treated me like a prisoner.” She could feel Drocco’s irritation building as she spoke, but she had to press on. She had to find out why he chose to treat her so badly. “You used my instincts against me and made me doubt everything I knew about myself. You think I should call you my Alpha, but you don’t behave the way I want my Alpha to behave.”
“You were a fucking spy!” Drocco bellowed, his voice making her quiver. “You have to take responsibility for that, Cailyn. You have to understand that you needed to suffer for that deception. I had no way of knowing how much I could trust you.”
“So you tortured me?”
“Of course! How else was I to know what was truth and what was lie? And on top of that, you were a Talent-crafter. So much deception that I was unprepared for.”
“I don’t think you would have treated me any differently if I hadn’t been a spy,” she whispered.
Drocco pulled away to look down at her. “I would have still fucked you and made you want me. It would’ve been harder if you weren’t an Omega, but you would have enjoyed it. I never would have caused you any pain. At all.” He held her eyes, his black locked onto her brown. “It pained me to hurt you,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “But I had to do it. Do you understand?”
Cailyn didn’t respond. She did understand. He was a product of his training, his upbringing, and his disgust of deception of any kind. He had felt obligated to punish her for her sins as a spy, as any ruler would. Could she fault him for that? Yes, she could.
“I understand that you did what any ruler would do,” she responded. “But you also knew, somewhere deep down, that I was yours. I cannot accept that you still tortured me knowing that. I cannot forgive it.”
Drocco’s entire body went rigid. He rolled away from her and got to his feet, his muscled arms contracting as his chest rose, his black eyes gleaming. The air changed, seeming to crackle as the tension built around him. “You cannot forgive it?” he bellowed. “You deceived me Cailyn, and I forgave you.”
“You did not,” she shot back at him, pushing herself upright. “You do not forgive, Drocco, you punish! You tortured me back at the Palace for being who I was raised to be, and then you were intending on having me as your breeder as punishment for escaping. Your determination to punish lies and deceit is more important to you than the Alpha/Omega connection you claim to revere. You may not think you’re dishonest, but you are. You lie to yourself.”
The flash of shock in his eyes only lasted a moment. “I did what I had to in order to ensure our connection wasn’t built on falsehoods,” he said, his voice low. “You never would have told me the truth or stayed with me no matter what I did.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do!” he roared. “Even now, you violently reject taking any responsibility for your actions. Why is that?"
“I do take responsibility for my actions,” she argued. “I accept that, as a spy, I would suffer if caught. It is the way you tortured me that I found repulsive.”
“You cannot choose your punishment.”
Cailyn huffed, her lips scrunching together. “It was barbaric,” she spat. “You cannot expect a prisoner you punish in such a way, to then be eager to be your mate.”
“It isn’t about eagerness or choice,” Drocco boomed. “I despise the idea of having a liar as my mate, but it cannot be helped. I don’t get to choose.”
Cailyn held his eyes. “I do.”
The Alpha clenched his fists and turned away, breathing hard as he battled his frustration. Cailyn watched his broad back rise and fall, the silence between them underpinned by the heavy patter of rain.
Finally, he turned his head. “That is where you make your mistake. You don’t get to choose, Cailyn. We are true mates. It has been chosen for us.” He turned slowly. “I accept that you are my mate, regardless of your faults. You would rather choose death than do the same for me.”
Cailyn blinked, suddenly unsure how to answer. He made her seem so petty for hating him for what he did. But even as she tried to rationalize her feelings, Mother Fern’s statement rung in her ears. Maybe he was as unprepared to deal with your connection as you were. She glanced up at him. “You haven’t even apologized—”
“I do not apologize,” he bellowed, “or plead, or beg.”
Cailyn frowned at him, suddenly realizing. “You’re not your father.”
“No?” he spat. “I’m starting to see resemblances in how our Omegas will end up. The only difference is, he could not survive for long once his bonded mate died. I will live on and remember everything. I’ll remember how delusional my mate was—so much so that she couldn’t even recognize me as her Alpha.”
“I am not delusional!”
“You hated me even before you arrived at my Palace,” Drocco said. “You have been taught to hate all Alphas, yet you don’t once question your captors. Is that because of your mother? Did she influence you so deeply that you didn’t care to remember your father? Did you both laugh at the mess she left behind?”
Cailyn stared at him, bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
“Your mother caused incredible pain for your father and his wife, yet she was the one who got to see you grow up.”
“What do you mean? I never met my mother.”
“You agreed not to lie,” Drocco warned, dangerously. “Your mother was an Omega. You all lived in the same place, didn’t you?”
Cailyn’s stomach dropped and she almost didn’t acknowledge that she rose to her feet. “How do you know that? How do you know my mother was an Omega?”
Drocco stilled suddenly, his eyes trained on her. “I found your family home and went to see your parents. Your father is an Alpha living with a Beta wife, but your mother was an Omega.”
A cold shock trembled through Cailyn. “N-no, that can’t be true.”
“I give you my word, that is what they told me,” Drocco said. “I swear it on the Lox. You were taken when you were five. You have three half-brothers.”
“No,” Cailyn insisted. “I have no family.”
“Your Beta mother loves you deeply. She’s the one who named you. She used to read you stories when you were upset,” Drocco said evenly. “She said you are stubborn and never back down from what you want, prone to throwing tantrums. She said your favorite fruit are starlaberries, which I noticed to be true when I fed you fruit in our bedroom.”
Cailyn stared at him, the sharp twist of hot blades in her stomach.
“They are still farmers in Cillford. They used to have land in Ricsford that you would visit as a child. Maybe that’s why you feel so comfortable here.” Drocco regarded her closely. “They have been looking for you all this time, Cailyn. Your Beta mother became practically hysterical when I asked about the birthfreckle on your shoulder. She thought your Omega mother took you.”
Disbelief rendered Cailyn weak and her knees buckled. Drocco darted forward and caught her as she fell.
“It can’t be true,” Cailyn murmured, her head spinning as Drocco sat down with her. “I’ve never met her. I’ve never met my mother. The Mothers told me she hadn’t been an Omega.”
“The Mothers fucking lied,” Drocco growled, holding her in his lap.
“But why would they?”
“Why not?” Drocco said, quietly. He ran his fingers through her hair, stroking and soothing her as his scent surrounded her. “Without your mother’s influence, they get to tell you whatever they want. You already know now, Cailyn, that almost all Omegas want their Alphas. They need them. They desire them. I’m sure your council of elders wouldn’t have wanted any Omega showing signs of that to the young ones they wanted to brainwash.”
Cailyn shook her head against his chest, but even as she did, she remembered Mother Azia’s words. We devote much of the training to warning Omegas of the threat that Alphas can be that we only briefly touch on the true nature of the Alpha/Omega connection.
And yet, the true nature of the Alpha/Omega connection was incredible when she didn’t resist it. What else had they left out or only briefly touched on that was important? Everything she once believed was thrown in the air. She couldn’t doubt that Drocco believed he had met her family, he had sworn it, but how could what he was saying be true?
Tears stung her eyes as she lay in Drocco’s arms, a resigned mood coming over her. “I guess it doesn’t matter now,” she muttered. “I will die in three weeks. I’ll never know. And I’m glad.”