Chapter Nineteen
Seraphina slid in next to Annie and the others gathered around the big round table someone had brought over for the food. Right in the middle sat a three-layer monstrosity of a cake. The bottom layer was Annie’s cheesecake, the middle was devil’s food chocolate, and the top was strawberry. Annie had decorated it with white frosting and pink roses, and the top said Goodbye Ma in perfect scrolling letters.
It was beautiful and larger than life. Just like Valerie was.
“Anybody seen Rod?” Annie asked, “I’d hate to sing the song without him.”
The small crowd murmured.
“Are we really going to do this?” Adam asked, looking uneasy.
Surge shrugged. “Hey, it was what Ma wanted. So we’re doing it.”
“She really did though? Are we sure?” Adam tried again.
Waldo spoke up from the back. “Right there in ‘er will. This and a memorial race at the speedway. I tell ya, that woman be pulling me by the short hairs even after she’s gone. Love ‘er.”
“Okay, but this?”
“She’d be mighty disappointed if we pussed out now.”
Adam sighed. “Fine. Yeah, you’re right.”
The front door came open and Rod pushed through, clutching a piece of paper in his hand and looking a little rough around the edges.
Seraphina pressed her lips together, worried.
This had been so hard on him. She could feel all kinds of conflict through their bond. But it was shaky. Things had been messy since the night Valerie passed, and their connection had suffered. She wasn’t fully claimed, and she was carrying his young, and the combination of those things set her animal on edge.
God, she needed to tell him. But…
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
She didn’t want to lose him.
This wasn’t something they’d talked about. The mate had happened so fast. Sure, it had been building over the past months, but they’d only just met in the middle, sniffing each other out to see if the other was solid. What if the idea of forever was too much for him right now. What if a baby was too much. What if a baby had never been on the list at all?
Red pen.
She couldn’t bear the idea.
He found her from across the room, his gaze locking on in that way that usually made her look away. Rod had such a bold stare. It made her weak in the knees every damn time. Made her want to moan, which was unfortunate in times like this.
“Oh, there you are,” Annie chirped, waving Rod over. “All right, everybody. I think we’re ready. On three! One… two… three…”
“Happy death-day to you. Happy death-day to you…”
Voices joined awkwardly at first, singing goodbye to Valerie. Seraphina could only whisper. But after a few lines, the voices of Ma’s family and friends grew louder and louder. Some wobbled with unshed tears, and Waldo blew his nose loudly into his handkerchief. By the end, there were more smiles than frowns, and they were singing at the top of their lungs to the ceiling to make sure she could hear them from her place up above.
Seraphina gave it her best too, just like she had on the floor with Valerie that last day. Even with tears making her eyes bleary. She liked thinking Ma could hear her, and that even if they hadn’t had much time, they had this. The singing.
Bitches love singing.
“Happy death-day, dear Ma-aaaaaa. Happy death-day to youuu.”
The song ended with a cheer and a few tears. And then Annie was cutting the cake and passing pieces to Barb to hand out.
Seraphina found Rod again, and even though he was closer now, it looked like he’d never looked away.
He pushed around Annie until he was so close Seraphina had to look up to keep his gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
At his words, the bottom fell out of her stomach leaving her empty of breath. “I… I…”
She was acutely aware of the way the entire room went quiet.
“That’s what it is,” Barb exclaimed. “The thing that’s different about you. It wasn’t teeth, it was a baby. Ohmygod. Of course.”
“So, it’s true?” Rod breathed, and she caught the tiny wisp of hope at the end of his breath. “You got my baby in you.”
Her mouth opened, looking for an answer, but nothing came out. Unless you count the wordless squeak. And then, “How did you know?”
He pushed the paper he was holding at her, and she took it with numb fingers, somehow reading enough to realize it was from his Ma. Destiny had told her before she died.
Seraphina turned wide eyes to Rod, but still, no words found their way past her lips.
“Alllll right, everybody!” Annie clapped her hands together to get their attention. “Y’all didn’t know it but this is one of those eat and run shindigs, mmmkay? So go ahead and grab you a fork and head on out. Yep, that’s right. Here you go, Mrs. Reynolds. And scoot right on out the door. Just like that. Thanks for coming, everyone.”
She practically tossed napkins in the air, counting on people to catch them on their way out, and herded people over to where Surge was holding the door open and waggling his eyebrows.
When the cake was almost gone and the room mostly empty, then it was a hot flurry of Vixens and Dogs cleaning the place up.
To avoid Rod’s probing stare, Seraphina scooped up a veggie tray and took it to the kitchen. She washed dishes, dried them, put them away. Swept the floor. And didn’t see Rod again until everyone had gone and the house was quiet.
He walked into the kitchen and stopped a few feet away from her. His eyes didn’t leave her face. He waited, silent, like she was supposed to start talking first.
She pulled in a deep breath, her insides quaking so hard she had to put a hand to her throat so it wouldn’t shake as she spoke.
“I was going to tell you.”
“When,” he demanded.
“Tonight. I was going to wait until after things were done. Or at least until you were a just a little drunk.” She’d meant that last part as a joke, but Rod’s jaw went hard letting her know he didn’t find it funny.
“Do you see me drinking?”
She shook her head.
“I haven’t been drunk since you came home with me. I’m ready for this.”
Seraphina frowned, tilting her head to the side. “What are you saying?”
He took a step closer. Just one. Fists clenching like he was dying to touch her but wouldn’t until they’d cleared the air. She inched nearer, needing him too.
“I can be what you need. I know I can. I won’t be perfect, but I’ll try like hell to get things right.”
Oh, she knew he would. If there was one thing she knew about her mate, it was that he always did what he thought was right. It was why she’d held this back from him. Because he had a history of pushing her away for her own good. Doing that now would break her.
“I know,” she said. “You’re everything I need. I know it, my fox knows it.”
His brow creased, looking both relieved and frustrated at the same time. “Then why did you keep this from me? Why did you hide it? And why the hell does my chest hurt all the time like you’re slipping away from me? Tell me that, will ya.”
She looked away as her eyes went damp. “It’s the bond,” she whispered. “It’s unsettled. It hurts me too.”
“Fuck, sweets.” He rubbed at his chest. “How do we fix it?”
“It fixes itself. Other than the spur, foxes don’t have a mating ritual. No marks. Scenting if you’re male. But nothing like the wolves. The bond securing means the mate is finished. Permanent.”
He stared at her, growling out, “I want it permanent. Tell me what to do. Woman, for you I’d walk on fucking coals. Don’t you understand that?”
His words curled around her, soothing something that had been raw for so long. But she had to be sure.
“Red pen,” she blurted. “I want to know I won’t get the red pen. You… you never answered me when I asked.”
His face went slack. “You think I’d cross you off my list? That’s what this is about? Shit, baby. You’re the whole damn list now. You’re it. I rewrote the goddamn thing in my head that night and every single thing I wanted came back to you. Seeing the world and a wedding and swinging on the front porch and… kids. So many kids. And nights at Red Cap and watching you cook and listening to you sing. God, do you see it? The future we could have. Don’t have a clue how to make it all happen. But I can promise you, there’s no red pen.”
Her fox was purring inside. She was melting. And piece by piece she could feel the bond starting to lock into place.
“No red pen?”
He reached for her hand, bringing it up to press their palms together and letting their fingers twine.
“The only thing I’m using a red pen for is to draw cheesy little hearts around your name because that’s the kind of dumbass shit people do when they’re in love, and I’m going to be in love like a fucking boss.”
Her smile came without warning. “Really?” she whispered.
Rod let out a sigh that sounded like he’d just figured out how to breathe again, and brushed his thumb softly over her cheek. “Really, vixen.”
He bent to kiss her and this one was the sweetest they’d shared yet. Careful, but so full of promise it set her heart into a pounding rhythm.
He pulled back, looking between them at her still flat belly. “I can’t believe it. My baby’s in there.” It came out as a breath, and full of awe.
Her hand found the place where a tiny half human half shifter was just beginning to form in her body.
“We made a baby, Rod. You and me and your Mustang. The night you told me you loved me.”
“A baby.”
“Yes.”
“My baby.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He brushed a rough palm over his scruffy jaw before finding her eyes. His were watery but shone with so much joy she wanted to squeal in victory.
“This makes you happy,” he murmured. “I can feel it.”
“Yes.”
“You want to have my baby.”
“Yes.”
“Make a home with me.”
“Yes.”
“Go through hard times with me.”
“Yes.”
He pulled her in close by the hips. “All those yeses,” he groaned against her neck.
“They’re the right ones so they’re easy.”
Pulling her hair back, he tipped her head for better access, and then kissed his way along her jaw, pulling so many sensations from her, she had to hold back a whimper. When he got to her ear, he whispered, “You want to be mine.”
Yes, yes, her fox purred. Finally.
She shook as his hands roamed her body, everything feeling more sensitive than usual. “I want that so bad,” she admitted on a moan, needing him to engulf her. Like finding shelter in the midst of a storm. That’s what connecting with Rod felt like, and she needed it now.
He scooped her up behind the knees and lifted her into his arms. “Our bed,” he rumbled, and she nodded. “Gonna fix everything. You’ll see. Gonna make this fucking bond concrete. Never lettin’ you go.”
His short, hard sentences and his scent that wrapped all around her, let her know he was ready to claim her.
For good.
He carried her down the hall to their room. When he laid her carefully on the bed, she could see the hard bulge tenting the front of his jeans, and swallowed hard to keep from drooling.
Inside, her vixen was prancing and pawing. This was it. Her choice and her future becoming reality. It made her past seem like a bad dream, and damn, was she ready to wake up and be free.