Chapter Five

Austin drove the speed limit the twenty minutes it took to reach his home—a sprawling ranch he’d designed himself and then hired Rolland Construction to build about three years ago. Dale Gerben was two years older than him. His father, Rolland Gerben, owned the company. As Austin pulled into the driveway, he kept glancing at Nuria. She gave no sign she was paying attention.

He couldn’t blame her. She would be distracted by the house fire on top of everything that had transpired between the two of them last night and this morning. Lord knew she hadn’t slept enough, either.

Austin jumped down from the truck and rounded to her side. When he opened her door, she flinched in her seat as if she hadn’t realized they’d come to a stop.

Shit. This was bad.

She ignored his outstretched hand and slid down to the ground.

When he had the door shut, he led her toward the front of the house. He had no visible neighbors. The closest family near him lived about a half mile down the road and then his parents nearly a mile in the opposite direction. This was intentional, as were the materials he’d used to build the house that made it difficult for someone to readily notice it from the road if they didn’t know it was there.

Rustic wood logs made up the entire front, including the support beams for the porch. There were no colors that didn’t match nature, and he had carefully ensured that as few trees as possible had been cut down. The scent of pine always hit him first thing when he exited his truck.

Nuria said nothing. She crossed her arms in front of her to ward off the chill. Or close herself off from him. Probably both. She was swimming in his large coat.

He wore only a long-sleeved company polo, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t nearly as cold as her.

He unlocked the front door and pushed it open, letting her pass through first. His home wasn’t the most luxurious place on earth, but his family’s brewery did well, and he had nice things. He wasn’t an overly materialistic guy, and he knew there was no female influence inside at all—a fact his sisters reminded him of often.

Nevertheless, he got the distinct impression Nuria was surprised. Her eyes widened as she glanced around. He felt a stab of humility. Had she led a rough life?

“I’ll get you a drink.” He raced past her, thinking of what she was taking in through her eyes. The great room was done in all blacks and grays. The sectional was black leather, the carpet a plush gray. The kitchen counter was also a gray-and-black swirled granite. The cabinets black, the floor gray tile. Suddenly it all looked boring.

Nuria draped his coat over the arm of the sofa and lowered onto the cushion as he turned back from the kitchen with a bottle of water in hand. He held it out, and she took it, careful not to make contact with him. “Thank you.”

Instead of sitting next to her or taking another chair, he lowered himself onto the also-black coffee table facing her and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “You want a blanket or something? I could get you a sweatshirt.”

She glanced at him with narrowed eyes. “No.”

Was she worried about getting his scent all over her? He would be. Having her in his space was making his hands sweat. Her scent would fill his home now. It would never fully go away, even if she left immediately never to return.

“Your dad doesn’t think it was an accident, does he?”

“No.”

“What does he think? Who would do this?”

He shrugged. He truly didn’t know. His father had put him off. He was probably still gathering information, and as the leader of his family and the entire Tarben pack, he would never speak before he had all the facts. He was also blocking all communication from Austin.

“How is it that he seemed to be so friendly with Bernard Arthur?” she asked. “I thought your family and theirs was in a feud that would never end.”

Austin nodded slowly. “You can thank my brother for that minor reconciliation. Don’t get me wrong, the entire rift between our families is not repaired by any stretch, and many members of both families are still not speaking to each other. However, some of us have patched our relationship and are working toward gathering momentum with the others.”

“What did your brother have to do with it? I assume you mean Antoine?” She pursed her lips after she spoke his name with the same tremendous disdain he also felt. “Or were you referring to Alton?”

He shook his head. “No. You were right the first time. Antoine. A few months ago he attacked another woman, Heather. I don’t know how many women he molested between you and Heather, but she was the last one.”

“I heard he was arrested for attacking a woman. That’s half the reason I came back to town at this time. I never would have taken the risk otherwise. But who’s Heather?” She cocked her head to one side, confusion evident in her face. He had so much to fill her in on.

“Remember Isaiah Arthur?”

“Yes.”

“Heather’s his mate. Before they were bound together, Antoine attempted to bind her to himself. In the aftermath, my father and I went to Isaiah’s home to make amends as best we could toward Bernard and Isaiah on behalf of Antoine’s stupidity. My father didn’t want Bernard or any member of his family to think he condoned such horrific behavior.

“The rift between the families began to repair, at least between the leaders, and that’s the most important first step.”

“That’s huge. Too bad it took your fucked-up brother to bring them together, but I’m glad to hear it.”

“You should also know that Isaiah and I have been close friends for fifteen years. We never told a soul.”

Her eyes widened. “I never knew that.”

“No. I met him the day I found you…” He let his voice drift off and then inhaled slowly, sitting up straighter. “We were both pissed off with the world that day when we ran into each other in the mountains. We were exhausted from burning off steam. I never told him what happened to me that day until a few months ago.”

She leaned back. “Jesus, Austin. This is so convoluted.”

“I know. It’s a lot to take in.”

A tear slid down her face, and she wiped it away.

Austin swallowed through the lump in his throat. He hated seeing her so sad. He hated more that he didn’t have the right to comfort her. He’d burned that right years ago.

Another tear escaped and then another until she wiped them freely and dipped her face. Her voice was soft, almost impossible to hear when she spoke again. “If I hadn’t taken off that day… If I had stayed…” She sucked in a sharp sob and lifted her face. “How many women did he molest because I was too much of a coward to come forward?”

Austin flinched as though she’d slapped him. “Baby… No. My God you can’t think like that. Do not let my brother hold that kind of power.” Fuck propriety and the fact that it was undoubtedly a horribly bad choice, he lurched forward and slid onto the couch next to her, wrapping an arm around her to haul her toward his chest.

A deep inhale made his heart race. She belonged in his arms. It would hurt more than life itself for her to leave him when this was over. But dammit, he wasn’t going to watch her suffer without trying to console her.

There were no words. How could he possibly take away her pain? She had held it inside for so long. It needed to get out. He needed to let her work it out.

Fuck Antoine. And fuck this situation that was tearing Nuria apart. He knew exactly how she felt because he held the same guilt. If he hadn’t been such a moron and thought the worst about his own girlfriend, he too could have prevented countless other women’s suffering at the hands of his brother.

He asked himself the same question she was asking. How many were there?

As he closed his eyes, his father reached out to him. “Are you home?”

“Yes.”

“Nuria’s with you?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t leave. It will be a while before I can get there and explain, but stay in the house and don’t let her out of your sight.”

“She’s in danger.”

“Yes.” He broke the connection.

Austin shuddered.

“What now?” Nuria asked.

“Nothing.” He rubbed her arm. “We have to wait. Let me get you a blanket. You have goose bumps.”

She wiggled her arms around his waist and held him tighter. “No. Stay. You’re warm. I’m fine.”

She wore nothing but a plain white T-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. He would need to see about getting her some other clothing. Hers would smell horrible until they could get them cleaned properly. One of his sisters would have something she could wear. Probably Adriana. They were almost the same size.

“Who were you communicating with? Your dad?” She was sharp. Not surprising. Most shifters could sense when someone they were with was distracted by a communication from outside.

“Yes. He’s going to be a while.”

“But you’re worried. He must have told you more than that,” she responded to his chest, still not meeting his gaze.

He chuckled. “For someone who’s been gone a long time, you don’t miss a beat.”

“Stop stalling.”

He sighed. “He thinks you’re in danger.”

She stiffened. “Who would want to hurt me? The only enemy I have is your brother. Please tell me he’s still in prison in the Northwest Territories.”

“He is. Don’t worry. It’s not him.” He grabbed her shoulders and forced a few inches between them, lifting one hand to grip her chin. “Nuria.”

She let her gaze meet his.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you in my home. You’re safe.”

She lifted a brow. “Austin, I’m not even safe from you,” she whispered, tearing his heart out.

He nodded slowly. There were no words to follow that except, “I’m sorry.”

“I know. Me too. But we can’t change the past. I’m sure in time I can forgive myself and you, but I won’t forget.”

He nodded again. “Of course.” His throat felt raw with emotion. His mate, the love of his life… So much pain in her eyes. Pain he helped cause. Suffering she would never get over. Seeing him every day would just remind her of what she’d lost and his part in it.

Seconds ticked by. She stared at him intently. She swallowed. Licked her lips. Bit the bottom one. Pursed them together.

He could feel her pulse rate increase. He could smell her arousal. Nothing could stop the physical attraction. It ran on a separate compartment of the brain, rushing ahead at full speed without a concern for the heart.

And then she lurched forward. Her lips slammed down on his. She grabbed his shoulders fiercely with both hands.

He lost the ability to think as he let his hands span her waist and his lips consume hers.

She slid her tongue into his mouth first, licking the seam and then slipping inside when he parted.

A piece of his soul left his body to mingle with hers, laying claim to what was rightly its perfect match. The kiss alone wouldn’t bind them. Nor would sex for that matter. One of them would have to bite the other and let their personal serum enter the other’s bloodstream.

He would never do that to her without her permission. Which wasn’t likely to occur in this lifetime. But God how he longed to make her his.

His cock swelled as his arousal grew. He tipped his head to one side to increase the contact.

She tasted like heaven. His memory of kissing her as kids flooded back to him. He’d known then. His body had also responded. But not like this. Not like his grown-man body did now.

Without breaking the kiss or releasing his shoulders, she twisted around to straddle his waist and press her sweet body against his.

Damn.

He could die right then and be happy.

When her pussy pushed against his cock, he groaned.

A sound came from her mouth too. Low. Deep. Possessive. Driving him insane.

As if she had been temporarily possessed by an alien, she suddenly broke free, jumped off his lap, and backed up. The backs of her knees hit the coffee table, and she landed hard on her butt, reaching back with her hands to keep from tumbling farther.

Her face was red, her lips swollen, her eyes wide. “Oh. God.” She sat up, touched her lips with her fingertips, and flushed deeper. “I can’t believe I did that.” She stood abruptly, rounded the table, and raced from the room.

She’d never been to his house before, but she wouldn’t have trouble finding a bathroom or whatever she was looking for. A place to hide. Escape.

His chest was pounding. His cock was so stiff it hurt. He couldn’t catch his breath. He didn’t have the brain function to tell his legs to go after her. And besides, she needed space. He would give her anything she wanted.

Anything.

If there was a snowball’s chance in hell they could reconcile, he would do everything in his power to make sure it happened.

Was it possible for them to overcome their past when faced with the driving need to bind?

∙•∙

The first door Nuria came to on the right was a bathroom, and she slipped inside and shut the door, locking it.

The moment she was alone, her muscles gave out. She flattened her back to the door and slid down it to land on the floor. She threaded her hands in her hair. “What the hell have I done?”

There was no doubt with that kiss she’d opened a door that could not be closed. It was life-altering. It was nothing like any kiss she remembered from when they were fifteen.

Her body was on fire for him. Her breasts ached as if her bra was too tight. Her nipples were swollen, tight points that needed to be touched. She flattened both palms over her chest and squeezed as if that might lessen the need.

Her pussy was also tingling and wet. Every dream she’d had—both awake and asleep—staring Austin Tarben came to life, only better. No imagination had come close to what she felt, and that was with her clothes on.

What would it be like to undress and let him take her? What would it be like to sink her teeth into his neck until the taste of his blood was on her lips, and her saliva linked them for eternity?

What the fuck was wrong with her?

He’d hurt her. Badly. She needed to get away from him before she did something she would regret. If her hormones took over her mind, she knew it would only be a matter of time before she succumbed to the lure of his body.

Damn. Why did he have to be so smoking hot? He was taller, broader, sexier than ever. His muscles were hard and smooth. His hair was thick and soft, cropped short. She wanted to run her hands over the top of his head.

She moaned again behind the bathroom door, thinking about his body. His hard length had been pressed between her legs, making her long to hold it, see it, taste it, take it inside her.

The drive to bind was real. It was intense. It did not care that she was angry with him. And herself. It did not care that they had a history that didn’t make it possible for them to spend their lives together.

She had not felt anything nearly this intense when they were kids. It made sense that they weren’t designed to recognize the call to bind so blatantly at such a young age. But nothing prepared her for this grown-up version of the two of them occupying the same space.

What joke was the universe playing?

She could sense him close by. He was in the hallway. She held her breath, imagining him leaning against the door, an inch and two thousand miles separating them. She wanted him so badly. She forced herself to remain still, biting her tongue and holding her breath. A tear slid down her face again.

What the hell was she going to do?

For a long time, she sat there, her mind racing around as memories flooded her head from their younger days. So much laughter and hope and fun. She had loved him from the time she was about thirteen. They never fought. Ever. They were the perfect couple.

And then Antoine stepped in. He manipulated her for months. Slowly grooming her until she constantly doubted herself around him. Was he just kidding around? Or did he truly intend to take her from his brother? Perhaps he simply hadn’t wanted Austin to have her.

At first, she’d pushed Antoine’s advances to the back of her mind, not believing he would do something like that. But then things got more heated. He would grasp her hand, touch her arm, stroke her face. Always when no one was looking.

She grew steadily uncomfortable around him. And then she started pulling back from Austin to avoid his brother. She didn’t know what to do. She was fifteen. Antoine was seventeen.

Why did she doubt her instincts? Why didn’t she tell anyone? Her mother? Her father?

Austin.

The man she was meant to be with. Why didn’t she tell him?

Because Antoine was his brother. Their relationship was rocky. She didn’t want to be the cause of more strife than they already had with potentially devastating allegations she wasn’t certain were true.

She had to take the blame for what happened. She knew it in her heart. She was at least as much to blame as Austin. More. Right?

But he saw her that day in the barn, and he doubted her enough to leave her with a madman. How could she get over that detail and look him in the eyes without feeling resentment for his inaction?

After what seemed like an hour, she pushed herself off the floor, washed her face, and stared at her expression in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Her cheeks were red. Her hair hung in limp clumps around her shoulders. She had on no makeup. She was a wreck.

Where was Austin? She would bet her last dollar he was still right outside the bathroom. Guarding her? Making sure she was okay? Trying to read her mind?

He could. If she let him. As grizzly shifters, they could easily communicate with each other simply because they were in the vicinity. Without being bound to each other and because they weren’t blood relatives, they couldn’t communicate over long distances. Only if they completed the binding could they do that.

But inside a home or close by, they could reach out.

She was blocking him fiercely. He had no right to be inside her head. No matter what she decided to do, he wasn’t going to be involved in the decision.

If she were honest with herself, it would be difficult to ever let him into her mind. He’d hurt her. It was a defense mechanism. Even if they had sex. Hell, even if they completed the binding, she wasn’t sure she could let her wall down and open herself up to that level of vulnerability.

But why was she even pondering such an option? She needed to pull herself together and get the hell out of his home before she lost all dignity and tore her clothes off just to feel his body pressed against hers.

She knew one thing for sure. The further she let things go between them, the harder it would be when she walked away.