Chapter 13

The sun was shining, it was midafternoon and the weather was as nice as it comes in the late Oregon’s summer.

Zoe had stumbled upon a job a mere ten days after settling temporarily in Rosenberg, she found a small ad looking for an accountant for a web design firm.

After meeting them, she saw they didn’t need a full time accountant on their payroll, just some guidance regarding cash flow decisions besides the usual accounting. She helped them work some magic so they could optimize most of the money they had coming in. She was officially a freelance accountant now.

It worked well for all, the company people were marveled with her, and she could work from home, overall a win-win scenario.

She had a lot of free time on her hands, so she started looking for more clients. Four weeks after leaving the White Paw Mountains, she was doing pretty okay on her own.

The town’s people were great too, open and honest. They were much friendlier than the city people she was used to, but that was a good thing. Living in a smaller town was different than her original plan of moving to Portland, but she wasn’t complaining. She realized she preferred the calmer small town life.

She had to save as much as possible. At first she rented a furnished room in a small home. But as soon as she got her first paycheck she rented a small apartment in an old building. She had a good view of the town, with the mountains almost lost in the distance. Admit it, you love to suffer. She felt a pang of nostalgia. She didn’t know if she could have done this, have the courage to go and present herself as a big city accountant to small and medium sized businesses, offer her services and sell them at a good rate. All of it because of a few days with Damien, high up there.

Her phone alarm ding-donged, she had to pick up reports from a new client. If you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, please get to work.

Soon after, she headed to her favorite restaurant: a small burger and hot dogs all American—and pretty old—place. The owner started to recognize her, she was pretty sure she could ask for “the usual” but wasn’t brave enough to try to and be met with weird looks.

She ate her food. It was great, as always. But you can’t really enjoy it, can you?

She sighed. Yes, everything was great, her work life was great, the town was great but... she didn’t feel great. Nothing felt right. Every successful thing she did had that lingering emptiness, that “Damien would be so proud!” feeling that she couldn’t uproot.

She wasn’t supposed to feel like this. She had good clients, worked from home, had free time and did not live in a crowded, stinky place like her previous apartment... but she still missed him. I wish I never met him, she thought, then immediately corrected herself. That wasn’t true. She wondered if meeting him was destiny —as he’d called it— and how much that chance encounter had transformed her life.

The forest called her every time she looked at the mountain, every time she looked at a trail while she was on the road. The colors and the smells, she remembered them all. The town was okay, but at the same time there was no sense of adventure, no sense of danger, just a quiet, simple life that she thought she wanted, but after having sex in a cave behind a waterfall, how could that be enough?

She laughed at herself, cry me a river, Zoe, seriously, since when you’re such a depressive girl?. She shook her head and took a bite of her burger. She had to remind herself to keep looking up, even if she didn’t feel like it.

“Bam!” a treble voice said, someone slapping her table. She looked up to see a little girl, probably younger than five looking at her. She had a Cinderella-like blue dress, a little toy crown and a little wand with a five pointed glitter covered star at the top.

“You’ve been touched by the blue fairy! It’s your lucky day!” the little girl said.

She smiled, looked around but didn’t see her parents.

“Hi blue fairy, what’s your name?”

“Uhmm,” the little girl wondered, “my name is Deedee.”

“Okay Deedee, thanks for bringing me luck.”

“No, no! I mean, you smiled, you stopped being sad, you see?”

“Oh”, Zoe said, composing herself, she didn’t know she was projecting such a depressive image. “Well thank you! Deedee, where are your—?”

“Why were you sad?”

Zoe stopped. Looked at the people around her, outside the restaurant, everyone seemed to be minding their own business.

“I wasn’t sad, I was—”

“Yes you were, hey remember I know eeeeeeverything!” the girl elongated the word, moving her arms upward as if she was a great sorcerer.

“Oh well, I can’t hide from you, I wasn’t sad, I just made a bad decision, I think.”

“What’s a decision?”

Zoe smiled. “Well, it’s like choosing something over other things. Making up your mind about something.”

“Oh I see! And you chose wrong, okay... decision...” she moved the wand around Zoe’s head and shoulders, cheap glitter falling to her blouse. It was so ridiculous it was fun, “is reversed! It’s all better now, you’re free to—”

“I’m sorry”, a big man interrupted. He was huge, with gray beard and hair. It was weird because he looked young. Or at least young enough to not have a head full of white hair. He was dressed in black jeans and tee. Brown work boots and a light blue cardigan. He looked like a model out of a hipster magazine. “Dee, you know you shouldn’t bother strangers.”

“But dad!” she said, “I’m just heeeeeelping!” she stretched the word again, this kid was something.

“I’m sorry, you know how kids get when they watch one of those animated cartoon films,” the big man said. The man was practically a Giant, at least six foot eight, huge shoulders, pale as snow, with a thick beard.

“Don’t worry, she’s great.”

“Thanks.”

The restaurant’s intercom buzzed, “Raiden, your order is ready.”

“That’s our cue, D-Tank”, he said as he walked away to the counter.

“Wait, you’re Raiden?” she asked.

He turned his head “Who’s asking?”

“I... just, the White Paws were looking for you, like, a month ago.”

“They were, were they? They’ll have to wait a little longer.”

“They must be worried.”

“They’re not. They’re okay, it’s not like this is the first time I leave. Besides, I had pending business elsewhere, they know me.”

She nodded.

“You’re Damien’s mate?”

He asked it aloud, as if they were alone, her gut fluttered and tightened at that word, it brought both good and bad memories.

“No,” she said

“Well you should. You both got the same scent, probably made for each other or some of that cheesy shit.”

“Dad! You said a bad word!” Dee said.

“Oh, give me a break, Dee, you know I’m trying.”

The girl made a face, “okay.”

Zoe smiled at the kid, then turned to look at him again.

“So, what are you saying?”

“Well, listen lady, my daughter came to you to fix your depressive state, if you met him and you’re here, either he or you fucked up somehow. Now, you’re a grown up and he’s my alpha so—”

One of the customers turned to him, arching his eyebrows.

“You got a problem with that, fella?” he asked the stranger.

“No, no sir,” he answered.

“That’s great! Now, may I continue my conversation with this lady, or are you gonna keep looking at me like a moron? Can I have some privacy or should I invite you to our conversation?”

The man bit his burger and pretended to mind his own business.

“What he’s saying,” Dee said, “is you’re made for each other and you know it, it’s magic, see?”

“Raiden, your order is ready”, the speaker repeated.

Raiden sighed and looked at Zoe.

“What she said”, he finalized, taking his daughter to the counter to pick up their order.

Zoe was stupefied. She was smart enough to leave the restaurant before Raiden sat on his table. She was smart enough to head straight to the mountain.

***

Damien walked through the thickets, his steps soundless. He was coming home from his weeklong watch. He had become one with nature. After confirming everyone in the pack had gone to each of theirs and found nothing, he could relax a little bit. Being alone was his favorite past time now.

The woods seemed calmer now, and lower animals seemed to feel him from a distance. He was a predator out there, everything else was prey. He carried a deer’s body on his shoulder, he hunted it on his way back and wanted to share it with the clan. They would be happy. He knew his mood wasn’t the greatest the past few weeks, and they knew why.

It was a difficult decision but it had to be made. Zoe was his mate. He would never feel that for anyone else. Bears mated for life, he’d found the one but had to let her go. She was human. She could move on. He wished bear shifters had that quality, but it wasn’t part of who they were. And her happiness would always come first.

The forest cleared before him, the cabins just ahead, he’d go directly to the HQ, prepare the deer and leave it ready for later.

“Hey, Boss!” Mav said in the distance. He looked as happy as usual, “That’s great! You brought dinner! Need help?” he was teasing him. They both knew none of the White Paws needed help carrying a deer, it was easy for them. He smiled. He missed the clan, he missed his friends.

“Nah,” he replied, “it’s just for me, you can keep eating your super market food.”

Mav smile disappeared, “Oh, okay, no worries,” he said.

“Damn,” Damien said, “is my mood so shitty lately that you can’t tell when I’m joking?”

Mav’s face lit up, relief washing over him, “Matter of fact?”

Damien reached the HQ, gently placing the deer on the ground, just beside the comms tower.

“Matter of fact,” he said, extending his hand and shaking it with Mav’s.

“That’s a big deer you have there, we’re gonna have a feast!”

“We are,” he said, smiling.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Well... nothing in particular, actually. Where are the guys?”

“Working. Enzo said the samples he took were ‘fascinating’, and has been in his house the past few days; Franklin’s got some computer hardware from town, says he’s gonna improve the signal up here. We might even get satellite cable!”

“You like that?”

“Well, not really but, you know”, he said, Damien got him in a juncture, “better to have it and don’t need it, than not have it and need it, I guess.”

Damien laughed, yeah, he guessed Mav was right. Besides, winter was slow and boring and very quiet. Maybe they could use the TV’s for background noise.

“We missed you boss.”

“The missing was mutual, Mav. Any news?”

“No, not really.”

“Oh”, Damien said, slightly disappointed, not knowing exactly why, “so, are you going to answer?”

Mav looked at him, “answer what?”

“I asked if my mood was so shitty that you couldn’t tell when I was joking.”

Mav clicked his tongue and looked down.

“You asked, I answer: yeah, your mood has been kind of grumpy lately. We understand.”

“What do you understand?” Damien asked calmly. An alpha’s job is not just to lead, but to be the best he can be for his pack. They had to have complete trust in him, not fear his reactions.

“Well... you let your mate go.”

“It was for the best, though.”

“Are you sure? I mean, maybe she didn’t want to stay here and that’s okay; but if she did, well, she’s with us. She’d be in no real danger.”

“You don’t know that, Mav. I can’t be around her all the time, the forest is—”

“The forest is dangerous, we all know that,” Mav interrupted, “but if you guys are made for each other, why not risk it?”

Damien thought on that. It was not bad reasoning.

“You’re the best of us Damien, you’re braver, and faster... these mountains would’ve been long lost to the Rot if it wasn’t for you. They would have had to be burned, turned to ash, converted into some lame high class suburb or worse. You know she’d be safe. And she made you stronger, we all could see that.”

“Well, maybe you’re right, but she’s gone, man. We gotta keep moving forward.”

Mav’s eyes shifted.

“What?” Damien said.

“She’s in Rosenberg.”

Damien’s bear didn’t roar, didn’t move at all. It was as if it was looking straight at him. His hidden ferocity ready to be unleashed.

“How do you...?”

“Franklin found her website, she set up shop there, has a little accounting firm or something.”

Damien smiled. She was something, all right.

“That’s great,” he replied.

“Listen man, just answer me something, okay?”

Damien nodded.

“If I found my mate, and told you I was letting her go because I thought she’d be in danger, what would you say?”

Damien’s heart started beating faster, he felt a rush of adrenaline inside his veins, his bear roaring. He could only say one thing.

“I’d tell you you’re a fuckin’ idiot.”

Mav laughed, “I’ll send you the address, man, just go get her.”

Damien couldn’t contain his big smile.

“I’ll be back soon,” he said, running to his truck.