They trudged through a neighborhood, carefully stepping over the broken pavement of the sidewalks. Plants had grown through the cracks, effectively shattering them, and Jax found himself missing the bicycle he used to have. He would have covered a lot more distance that way, but he had found early on that the bikes made you more vulnerable. All a tribe had to do was shoot an arrow into your tire and you would go sprawling, leaving you vulnerable to raids on your rations. Although he was tempted, he had learned his lesson.
Layne usually tried to avoid the broken suburban areas. They caused her grief to well up in her chest, seeing all of the destruction and desolation the virus had caused. Sometimes the contaminated would live in places like this, as if they wanted to be reminded of their shame for the rest of their lives. If they couldn't forget it, they might as well live in it. The broken dolls and shattered dreams suffocated her whenever she entered areas like this. It was common for most of the tribes to avoid them for the same reason. Jax seemed undeterred though, and walked slowly and cautiously, oblivious to her discomfort. It was the most direct path to the Hex compound, and he was set on it because it's what had always worked for him in the past.
He felt comfortable in the old neighborhoods. The nostalgia and memories would flood him like sad old friends, and he held onto them as they went, until they reached the house he had always used as a base during these journeys.
“Stay here and keep quiet. No matter what you hear out there, don't move. You'll be safe. Don't leave the living room.”
She nodded and he left the house, heading toward the Hex compound. She watched him go with a knot in her heart. She wished she could go with him. It was painful to be parted for even just a moment. She had met other people on the road before, given them help, camped with them, but none of them affected her this way. What was different about Jax?
She poked around the living room, trying to fight off the chill she got whenever she was near the relics of the dead. Their values had sure deserted them, she thought. This family had been well off financially, but death brought them down to the same level as everybody else. She gazed at the walls. Picture frames had once decorated them, but somebody, probably Jax, had taken them off the walls, leaving pale squares where they once belonged. They were piled neatly on the floor, face down, and she sighed, debating whether or not she wanted to put a face to the tragic fate of the people whose couch she was perched upon.
Her curiosity eventually won over and she looked at the pictures, tears in her eyes. Her mind replayed the chaos of the first few years after the virus struck and she ran to the door, barely making it before she vomited.
***
Jax didn't return until after dark, and when he did he found Layne curled up on the couch, her arms around herself. Her eyes were closed and she was sleeping so deeply he almost feared that she had died somehow. Tobi had come through, providing him with two weeks worth of food and medical supplies. He’d told her about Layne and she'd winked at him and rummaged around for a bottle of wine from her own stash.
He watched Layne sleep before yawning deeply himself. He always slept well in this house. It had belonged to his aunt and uncle, and he knew that they would have welcomed him. He collapsed onto the couch opposite Layne and joined her in the realm of dreams. When he woke up, she was still sleeping. Finally, she roused as he began to chew through his breakfast.
“How is your girlfriend?” she mumbled, wiping sleep from her eyes. She looked cute and unassuming when she woke up, and Jax grinned.
“Girlfriend? Tobi’s a lesbian in a happy, committed relationship. But she's good, thanks for asking.”
The “thanks” thrown into his sentence made them both pause, flinching as if awaiting the axe to fall. But they were together and nothing happened.
“I made some calculations,” Layne said. “There was an atlas under the coffee table. I think it would take two weeks to get to where I want to be.”
“That's not bad,” he said, chewing thoughtfully. “We should head out soon. Did you rest well?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling at him. He swallowed hard, unable to take his eyes off of her. There was something magnetic about Layne, something he couldn't get enough of. If he could drink her in all day, he would. Even throughout the tragedy, he'd never responded so deeply to a woman. He'd wondered if there was something wrong with him, and found the way Jonathan had abandoned him even more unforgivable because of it.
They headed out, spending the next week slowly getting to know each other. Jax was the strong, silent type, and Layne slowly drew him out of his shell. Soon, they were laughing and speaking to one another as if they had been friends for centuries. It was the happiest either of them had been in years.
One night, Layne surprised him by disappearing. His heart thudded painfully in his chest with fear, until she re-emerged holding a dead rabbit out to him. He ignored the offer and scooped Layne into his arms, his fear and panic turning from a flash of anger to the sudden realization that he wouldn't want to go on without her. She let him hold her, pressing her cool, comforting hands against his back and stroking slowly. The contact was soothing for both of them, and she promised never to disappear without word again. She would have lost her chance to catch the rabbit if she'd woken him up first.
He built a fire, hoping she couldn't see the tears glistening in his eyes, and helped her to cook the rabbit, serving her little pieces as they finished. She would eat and then feed him a piece as he turned the rabbit around over the fire on a stick, peeling off the finished parts for her to eat. They chewed silently together. Although he was grateful for the rabbit, he was still shaken up by his attachment to her.
“Jonathan left me for a woman,” he said suddenly, surprising both of them with the information.
“Why would he do that?” she asked with a frown.
“He was young and in love. I didn't like her. Refused to join her stupid tribe. So he did and left me.”
“That's terrible,” Layne said, her eyebrows furrowing. “What did you do?”
“I barely made it. I was really young. I didn't have half a chance until Hex found me. They helped me get rid of my past. But they couldn't get rid of Jonathan. Because he's still in the present, out there somewhere.”
“How do you know where he is?”
“He came back later. The woman's tribe was basically a cult. They were all insane, just like I told him they were. I swear they were baby eaters, just hoping for their cow to get pregnant so they could eat it. He apologized and asked me to leave with him. But in my mind he wasn't my family anymore – I just had Hex.”
They ate as he spoke, the fire crackling between them as he unveiled his painful memories.
“No offense,” she said, her mouth stuffed full of rabbit. “But he sounds kind of like a jackass.”
Jax laughed loudly, a loose, pleasant sound that filled her with pleasure. “None taken.”
“I'm sure he's learned from his mistakes over time. We all do. That's why it exists I guess.”
“Yeah,” he said distantly, his mind chewing over her words. He'd missed having that kind of faith in the world. Everything he knew had been shaken and destroyed by the virus and the devastation that followed.
“It's best to live in the moment though,” he said after a pause.
“Well in this moment, there is nothing better in the world than eating this rabbit with you,” she said, her eyes glowing in the firelight. She cupped his face in her hands and touched their noses together, bringing a bright smile to his face. The low rumble of his laughter vibrated in her chest as he scooped her close to him. She smiled down at him and their lips met. A surge of hot electricity jolted through their bodies and Jax suddenly pulled away, startled and intrigued by his physical reaction to her.
“We shouldn't do this,” he said.
“Why not?” she whispered, kissing him again. Their tongues danced deeply in each other's mouths, and he was panting when he responded.
“It's too dangerous here,” he said. “We have to stay aware of our surroundings.”
She pulled away from him, taking the warmth of her body with her, to gnaw on the rest of her rabbit. She gave him a resigned smile and lay down. He had never felt more cold.