She had made the first move. She had kissed him. And then one thing led to another and next thing she knew, they were in his house headed towards his bedroom. Merk was on top of her. But she didn’t mind. Normally, she liked to be in control but the force of his body against hers felt good, the weight and then the strength of his arms as they held hers back against the bed, his body moving hard and impassioned on top of hers. Their clothes weren’t even off yet but she felt totally engulfed in him, aroused and ready to make love. Kara wrapped her legs around him and pulled him into her. She felt on fire, lust and passion consuming her. She wanted to taste him, put her tongue and mouth on him, everywhere. She began to pull his shirt up…

No. Her cell phone rang. It was a familiar ring tone, one she hadn’t heard in a long time. A ring tone that meant something, more than she ever wanted to admit - the feelings that came with a ringtone, stupid feelings, awkwardness and discomfort, but also some anxiousness. As much as she wanted to ignore it, she knew she couldn’t because he couldn’t be ignored, not ever, and especially not tonight, the timing was too significant. She could only imagine what it meant that he was calling her now, in this moment.

“Hang on…” she said to Merk patting his back to stop.

“What? You – You okay?” his voiced was low and raspy, sexy and ready.

“I have to get that… I’m sorry,” she replied.

“Really? Now?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry… Just – Just give me a minute,” she asked as politely and remorseful as possible.

Merk sighed heavily. She hated this. But she had to answer. That ring. She knew who it was and why he was calling. It had happened this way before. She eased herself off the bed and picked up her phone from the nightstand where she had placed it.

“Hello,” she said, turning to Merk to excuse herself.

Kara stepped out of the room, knowing how it must look to Merk. They were about to make love for the first time and then… The phone call wasn’t more important than Merk or what they were about to do, and the evolution and natural progression of their relationship all in one night, but Ratty couldn’t be ignored. He wouldn’t let himself be. If she didn’t answer, then there would be another more disturbing kind of intrusion. She was sure of that.

He would pry and prod until he got what he wanted and be damned with everyone else. This was one of the many reasons why they were not together. Even more than that, she again felt guilty. She knew that a part of his off and on dealings with her was because she was a lingering feeling inside of him. It was a part of who she was as succubus. She could never be removed, not if she’d been with anyone physically, sexually. It was a kind of imprinting on the heart and soul that could be both good and bad.

For humans, the sensation wasn’t as strong. It didn’t move them or linger in the way that they were never able to get over being with her if things ended; there would always be a scintilla of that feeling, emotion, connection to her as a succubus but it wasn’t enough to never get over her. But for shifters, Kara had learned the hard way that it was different. Shifters like Ratty latched on and they were unable to let go. Something in them was stronger. Maybe it was that they were more animalistic, their instincts and maybe even pheromones making the connection or the feeling of the connection more powerful.

Whatever it was, it drove them – Ratty – crazy, making him obsessive. Although, there might appear to be some kind of reprieve, it always came back. And then Kara would have to try to reverse it and push against what she gave off. This power was weaker and less manageable and less effective for long-term staying power. So, Ratty calling was no accident and if he had caught wind of her having a date – it was enough provocation for stirring up those old feelings. 

She looked back at the bedroom door one more time before walking off to answer the call… If this had happened with Merk, she knew what thoughts would be going around in her mind. Still, she had to answer. She would worry about excusing herself later. Kara hoped she wasn’t ruining things with Merk. With a sigh, she walked to the front of the house and stepped outside onto the porch.

“How are you?” said a snide voice.

“What do you want, Ratty?”

“Oh, I just wanted to check on you… I heard that you had a date tonight and I just wanted to see how it went?”

Kara stepped down from the porch, moving further away from the house, her anger rising.

“Stop this. You don’t get to do this. Okay? You don’t. It’s been a year and a half –”

“Close. One year, eight months, and three days, sunshine,” he answered.

“Stalker much?”

“Not stalking. Guarding. This is my town, Kara. Nothing happens in it without me knowing, especially when it comes to someone that is mine.”

“I was never yours, Ratty,” she shot back. “I’m not something you own.”

“You know what I mean,” he answered.

His choice of words was specific. Ratty never said anything without perfectly weighing the effect of his words. Everything had a point, a meaning. This phone call, at this moment, when she had decided to go to Merk’s house, had meaning.

“Are you having me followed?”

“Now why would you think that?” he asked.

Just as he answered, she saw two creatures on four legs strolling down the street. At first, they just looked like two animals, dogs, on the prowl, possibly scavenging for some scraps of food. But as they moved forward, drawing closer to the house, they looked over at her. They were big. Dark colored. And they weren’t dogs. They were wolves. Very big wolves. Their eyes glowed a vicious yellow, golden almost. They eyed her, taunting her, wanting her to know that they saw her. Ratty had sent them. 

“Stop it! Do you hear me?! Fuckin’ stop it now!” Kara said into the phone, her voice hard and demanding.

“Stop what?” the voice on the other end queried.

“Ratty… I swear to God –”

“Now, let’s not get all religious here, Kara… I think we are way passed that, given what we both know how this world really works.”

Kara was standing outside Merk’s house. It was a nice house. And Merk seemed like he was a nice man and she imagined that he was everything that a woman could want in a man. She knew all of that from just one date. No matter what darkness he was hiding in his past, there was something good inside of him that she could feel and it called out to her.

Kara liked to think that they both had that in common, that her past didn’t determine who she was in the present or who she’d become in the future. She felt all of this about him in the hallway at the school yesterday when she and Merk had first met. Merk drew her as much as she had drawn him. And at dinner she could see how he was trying to make peace with his past. But her own past, Ratty, it wouldn’t leave her alone and she wondered if it ever would. Kara felt like it was all hopeless.

The last guy that she had been interested in couldn’t hold out against Ratty and his hold on her and this town, despite her objections and staying away from him. What made her think that Merk would be any different?

Ratty started to say something else but Kara was done with the conversation. There was nothing that he could say that would add any meaning to the moment or her life except good-bye and she knew that he would never say those words.

The two wolves were still on the street, both sitting in front of Merk’s driveway and both staring pointedly at her, blatantly trying to intimidate her. But Kara hadn’t been scared of Ratty or his brothers and cousins before and she wouldn’t be now. She was sure that there would be some kind of consequence or repercussion for what she was about to do but she didn’t care. She wanted to make her stance clear: she was her own woman and no one would decide her life for her. Kara hung up the phone as Ratty was talking.

She marched down the driveway towards the wolves. As she got closer to them, they stood on all fours and their eyes shifted from just watching to a stalking gaze; their backs hunched and they looked ready to attack but that didn’t deter her. She approached them. They didn’t know what she was about to do and neither did she, but she knew that something had to be done, an example needed to be made.

  “Tell Ratty I said, ‘fuck off!’ You got that? You and you too – fuck off! I swear to God that if any of you show your mutt faces around here again, I will –”

Their growl startled her and caused her to give pause. Their teeth were cruel and vicious, ready to tear into flesh. She could see the salivation, the foam building in their mouths as they eyed her with piercingly emblazoned golden eyes and dilated black pupils. The wolves should have scared her but instead they just made her angry. Threatening and menacing, Ratty had sent them as a warning or as an intimidation. The nerve of that asshole, she thought.

“Like I said, fuck off!” she flicked them both off and then wheeled around to head back up the driveway. 

She heard the wolves growl behind her. Only more intimidation tactics, she knew that they weren’t sent there to harm her. She continued up the driveway, not looking back, hoping that Ratty and his wolf pack got the message and would just leave her and Merk the fuck alone. But still… The chances of that were slim. She knew Ratty. As much as she didn’t want to feel concerned, she did. Kara looked down at the phone in her hand, wishing she had made a different choice, not in hanging up on Ratty but in dating him to begin with.

That version of herself was someone she wished hadn’t existed. But she had. And she had learned from that and now Kara was here – at Merk’s house. A low growl, guttural came from the curb. The golden eyes of the wolves beamed back at her. Ratty. The Fairweathers. Fuckin’ Wolf Shifters.  Kara lifted her hand and raised a middle finger to them one last time. She went back inside.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

Going back into the house, Kara thought about Merk and what was about happen between them. It had gotten pretty heavy before. She hadn’t meant to be so into him. But from the moment that they left the restaurant, she knew where things were headed.

At dinner, she had tried her best to remain low key, not wanting to give into her own whims and desires. She liked Merk a lot and wanted him badly. At the same time, she had tried her hardest to resist his charm during dinner. But everything she had said to test his mettle, to see if he was who she believed he could be, he had met with equal force. In the end, she had found herself vulnerable and sharing with him intimate and private glimpses into her life and herself.

She hadn’t been so open to that since… Will. It pained her to think about him and how she let Ratty come in between them. But she knew that it was more than that, there was more to it than just Ratty. She had a secret too. And in the end, it was Ratty and who she was that destroyed her and Will.

Desire was a dangerous thing. It was even more dangerous when it was between someone like her, a succubus, and someone like Ratty, a Wolf Shifter. She knew that who she was and what she gave off, either intentionally or just naturally, affected things, had changed Ratty, making him even more compulsive and obsessive than he already was. She was the cause, the catalyst, and she had to live with that.

But here she was again. With Merk. He was so much like Will. She knew that that was part of the attraction. Yet, there was something different about him, more, he had a power about him that she didn’t recognize or understand. There was control and certainty and strength. His force attracted her the most – not just physically either, although that was definitely there – but it was all over him: his essence and aura, Merk’s energy, it exuded and screamed strength.

Kara was sure that he was her equal, more so than anyone before, and it astounded her because he was just a man, not that that wasn’t enough, but she was a succubus and usually she was too much for another person. Just like she had been for Will and Greg before him. But Merk was different. He had an air of confidence and certainty about him that allowed him to leave himself vulnerable in many ways. But that was okay. He didn’t need to be the best at everything.

She knew others that had more power, existential and beyond, and were supernatural like her - otherworldly, and still their insecurities were the catalyst for all their actions. This was part of what broke her and Ratty up. His insecurities, his need to control everything and be a part of everything that she did. Merk was different. And she could see that already.

So when they had left the restaurant, she knew the direction in which she was going to instruct him to go. His house. It was strange. Just watching him drive (she had glanced over at him off and on) she had felt drawn to him. It was weird to be the one being pulled when you were like she was – she had the power to influence and pull, draw and compel, push and inspire, but somehow Merk was having that effect on her.

It made Kara wonder who this man really was…? A chance meeting at school… Or was it chance? She had never believed in God or Fate but something had brought them together in a way that she couldn’t resist. From the moment she first saw him, she’d wanted him – all of him – she wanted to know who he was and then when he spoke, opened his mouth, she knew that she wanted to be with him. Kara didn’t want to call it love at first sight, but it was definitely an insane attraction and irresistible allure.

We can go back to your place was her response when he had asked “where to next”. She knew the signals she was giving and she didn’t mind it. First date. But who cared? It was the twenty-first century and all that courtship and stuff was over. People took what they wanted in the moment, men and women alike. Besides, she had never been one for conformity and this wasn’t going to be the first time that she slept with someone on the first date.

However, she felt as this would be her last – she already wanted it to be – she wanted Merk to be the last man she was ever with. Was she crazy, thinking like this? she had wondered. She was already thinking forever with this guy. Maybe she needed to check herself, she could feel herself losing control, forfeiting some of herself. But wasn’t she also gaining something, someone in return? Wasn’t she rediscovering a part of herself too? She had decided: she wanted to be open as much as possible with Merk, no matter how early it was in whatever relationship they were forming.

And so, as they had approached the door and she had reached out for him. She had pulled him toward her and looked at him. The night was dark. No stars. Still. Quiet. Ominous. Kara could feel the charge in the air, moving and alive. She had always liked the night; the nebulous covering and enveloping mantle; the night and its darkness could hide almost anything, especially the volitional actions of the living that were birthed from laden and dormant desires.

Kara felt so strongly for this man - more so than she had for anyone else. Who was he? What was he? But again, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she felt the way she did and she knew that he felt the same for her. For a moment, she hesitated, curious, wondering for a second if he was like her. She had never met one before, but she had heard of Incubi, men that had the ability to draw and influence, the way that she did.

It was something special – something that was other worldly and without her influence as a succubus. Even with Ratty, she had wanted him and there was a part of her that knew that she had latched on to him and moved him towards her. Had there been a natural attraction? Sure. But Ratty was someone that she wanted. It pained her to think about it, shamed her in many ways to think about how she used to be and the things that she used to believe that she wanted.

Ratty had been a means to an end. But eventually that end wasn’t enough for her and that was one of the many reasons why they had broken up. She labored to think now that her past – Ratty calling – could have jeopardized whatever this magic was that was happening between her and Merk, more so that she had even potentially let it.

But she saw it on Merk’s face and in his eyes the moment she saw him. She had let Ratty ruin their night. She had tried to salvage as much of it as possible but there was just no going back. For one, he was in her head now and the organic nature of things, the way the night had unfolded was gone. When she came back in Merk was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a beer and it was clear that something had changed. It was on his face, obvious in his demeanor. Kara moved uneasily towards him. She sat down at the table with him.

“I’m sorry…”

Merk nodded appreciatively but she knew that it wasn’t enough; she had messed up. Again, she thought about how all of this would have looked to her. She needed to do something, say something to fix the night.

“Look, I don’t have a boyfriend or anything. Okay? It was just some past business that I had to handle – something that I had been expecting… It just came at the wrong time.”

“Wrong time?” he snickered.

She wanted to tell him the truth. It was on the tip of her tongue. She could just tell him who and what Ratty was… And maybe she should. After all, Ratty had a son, RJ, and he was on the football team this year and he probably was going to be the starting quarterback based on what he had done on junior varsity the previous year.

There could be problems coming Merk’s way from that, like it had for Will, and all because of her. History seemed to be repeating itself. Kara didn’t want that. Maybe this was best. Merk was upset with her. Now was the opportune time to just abandon this thing with him, whatever it was. A clean break before anything actually got started and Ratty swooped in and destroyed it. That was on the tip of her tongue too, she even moved to the edge of her seat to get up to initiate the retreat…

But then their eyes met. His eyes. That wanton expression. There was some desperation in it. It wasn’t just that Merk wanted her, he needed her and Kara knew that she needed him. She relaxed back in the seat. She leaned back. She found herself crossing arms and staring at him, abandoning her worries and concerns about what was going to happen because of her past involvement with Ratty. She decided to focus on the man in front of her. And only him.

“Merk…” she started, not knowing where to really go.

Merk’s face lightened some. That made her hopeful. Merk got up and went to the fridge to grab another beer. He popped the cap and set it on the table for her. She sipped it, unable to take her eyes off him. She felt herself getting aroused and she thought about using her power to pull him back into wanting her, the way he had before she stepped outside. Yet, something held her back.

She realized that for once she hadn’t intentionally used her powers as a succubus, not even a little. As a succubus, there was some natural power and energy that exuded from her, involuntarily, but she had done nothing to him intentionally, she hadn’t forced any persuasion or influence on him, nothing to inspire him into action. Everything that he had felt towards her on their first date had been raw and pure and natural.

And now, he had pumped the brakes on them and where they were heading. She could understand why, given what had just happened. He wanted to be safe, feel safe, and maybe they had been rushing things, enthralled by their desire for each other. She didn’t want to slow down but she understood. She could make him…. But Kara loved that this all had happened without her influence or persuasion as a succubus and didn’t want to sully it or their first night together.  So instead, they sat at the table and drank beer together and that was okay. She enjoyed herself and the drunken conversation that was filled with laughs and dirty jokes. No sex. But it was a good night.

 

***

 

And so, the school year began and with it, Kara’s and Merk’s relationship. Nothing was official but they both knew how they felt about each other and they acted accordingly. After their first night together, where they stayed up and drank beers and talked, she spent the night, well morning, they both got a few hours sleep and then woke up and watched movies all day in the bed.

It was hard to leave that afternoon, being with him felt right. He was a very kind man and surprisingly funny – that caught her off guard. They didn’t have sex. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t sure how or when it happened, but they both had decided mutually along the way somewhere without conversation to not press or force sex between them.

She desperately wanted him, and she could feel that he wanted her, but neither one of them tried to make anything happen. On the contrary, they were careful with each other. They dated, went to games, met in each other’s rooms before school and after school, she went to some of his practices to watch him coach and he would stop in briefly during her planning just to check in; when they met up after school they would have dinner or go see a movie.

She would spend the night at his place and they would lie in the bed together and snuggle. There was something unspoken about them waiting and the sexual tension between them was thick. But it was okay. She was sure that at some point it would happen organically. Until then, she was okay with how they were and what they had been building in the past few weeks of school.

 

***

 

“So, I see you decided against my advice,” Mr. Lightwood said as he entered in her classroom.

Kara peered up at the ol’ bald head man who seemed to get more and more apprehensive each time they saw each other. The expression on his face was stressed. It occurred to Kara that he was really worried and for a second, she had to really think about it, he had a right to be – look at what Ratty had done the first night that she and Merk had gone out. How did Principal Lightwood know about that anyway? Ratty had a pulse on everything that happened in town. Ratty of course.

He had obviously spoken to the principal, like he was telling on her or something. Fuck. Ratty had some nerve. All because he was some goddamn Wolf Shifter and then add on the power that came with that, he truly believed that he was unstoppable. But she already knew that about him, it was just becoming clearer and more apparent in her life - the affectations of his shifter narcissism.  

“Mr. Lightwood…” she started.

“You have no concept of the danger that you are putting us in… Or you just don’t care. Either way, it’s disconcerting, Miss Daniels. You of all people should understand who we are dealing with here.”

The last words bothered her the most. She did know who they were dealing with. But was she supposed to stop living her life because of a man that didn’t want to let go – that didn’t love her but only wanted to possess her? Or was she supposed to leave town in order to have a life? Both options felt belittling, and lessened her as a person just because she was a woman. No one wanted to stand up to Ratty, man or woman, it seemed. Rather, they would prefer her to move aside and just let him run roughshod over them. She had as much right to be in this town and find love and live and work as anyone else and she would be damned if Ratty Fairweather decided her life for her.

“With all due respect, Mr. Lightwood, this is my life and I will not let anyone choose it for me – not Ratty Fairweather and not you.”

The principal’s eyes flashed with anger, dare she say hate. He was afraid. Ratty had definitely reached out to him, talked to him since her and Merk had been seeing each other and this was his way of forcing her hand, through the principal, his lackey. Kara stepped forward, indignation building.

“Has he called you? Has he said something?” she demanded.

Mr. Lightwood backed away. He tucked his tail in a retreat and waved her off as he turned and started out of the classroom. There was no way that she was going to let him off that easily. Kara got to her feet, sliding her seat back to hit against the back wall where another white board rested.

“Has he?” she raised her voice.

Mr. Lightwood whipped around. His face was contorted, he frowned, and there was a deep and desperate expression about him, a visage that gave it all away. Ratty had spoken with him, she knew it, had sensed it but now she knew for certain, and true to form he most likely had threatened him in some way. Kara moved past indignation to vexation, her temper boiling, ready to explode. She marched over to the principal, her finger waving.

“No! He – He doesn’t get to do that. He doesn’t. This is my life and this is your life and career! Ratty is one person –”

“No, he’s this town, Miss Daniels. The town! Everyone follows him and the Fairweathers. You know that. You knew that with Will and after what happened to Will, you should know that even more now. No one messes with Ratty Fairweather and his family. Once his is always his.

Kara couldn’t believe her ears. Once his is always his. As if she was really something to be possessed… Less than a human being, simply because she was a woman and he was some fuckin’ man with a name that some small stupid town feared? That was actually what her principal thought? The leader of the school, the proprietor of education for the future generation of this town thought these things?

For a moment, it all seemed like too much. Like fodder. This town, all of them, they all just fed into Ratty Fairweather and his family’s bullshit. No. Fuck that. Kara turned from him and went back to her desk. She pulled her seat up behind her and sat. She gave Mr. Lightwood one last look, a clear sneer that signaled for him to get the hell out of her room. And without her saying a word, he did just that.

Kara sat at her desk, her mind spinning. She wished to God that she had never met Ratty Fairweather but more than that, she wished that there was a world that existed that didn’t harbor men like Ratty, a world that didn’t push them forward as some kind of god or gods. It was disgusting. And then, just as she felt the most repulsed she had felt in a long time, she felt a calm come over her. It filled her and soothed her. She tried to grasp where it had come from but didn’t understand it until she turned to see who stood in her doorway… Merk. 

Kara stood up as he came in. He was coming in to give her a hug. But as he opened his mouth and was about to ask her how her day was, her mouth met his. She kissed him with an unrelenting verve, passion, desire that folded into his mouth and melded with the twist of their tongues. She didn’t care that they were at school. She wanted him. Then and there. It was time, past time, and although their courtship had been cute and they had been patient, she was tired of waiting. She wanted the person that made her feel the most whole, the most liberated, to be hers and she wanted to be his. She was falling for Merk Castle, hard, and it was only him that made any sense to her. She kissed him more and began to undress him.