Forgotten Fairytale 2 (The Starlight Gods Series Book 8) by Yumoyori Wilson (6)

"Mako, remember to breathe, please," Nikolai whispered.

It was taking everything in me not to freak out, and breathing didn't feel like the priority at the moment. I felt overwhelmed. No, overwhelmed doesn’t adequately describe this feeling.

My mind felt like it was floating, yet at the same time it was sinking and I was having trouble swimming back up to the surface without drowning.

The reason it had taken Nikolai so long to see me was that he was juggling his lessons with Ryder, who was helping him control his emotions, as well as reading my file.

It was a stack of information that basically told my whole life. I didn't know if everyone had one, but seeing as I was some Princess who was evidently stolen from her pretty castle and had been missing for many cycles, it made sense that they needed as much information about me as they could gather.

My real name was Rosalina Mackenzie Heart, and I was the youngest child of Arthur and Catherine Heart, King and Queen of Heila which was Realm Eight. My birth had been blessed by the Starlight god, Nightmare, the Goddess of Destruction also known as Deathpre’s daughter.

It was foretold that I would gain my full potential on my sixth birthday and be blessed with six star knights. Together we'd work on fighting the "Darkness" whenever that time approached in our youth or adulthood.

Surprisingly enough, the early morning of my sixth birthday, I was kidnapped from my bedroom by the previous King of Latelia, King Aspen. The kingdom of Heila was left in shambles, and though they searched far and wide, there was no success in finding me.

I had two older brothers, Xavier Mackenzie Heart and Kade Mackenzie Heart, both of them now noble knights who also tried to locate me.

My star knights still because of their calling, but only five of them showed up: Ryder Carter of Minato, Daniel Moore of ArchAilennia, Marcus Hunt of Distala, Elias Kingsley of Miolana, and Kai Akiyama of Phentailia. They were all royal children and potential heirs of their home throne.

They had found me sixteen cycles later at a facility hidden on Latelia. I didn't need Nikolai to explain how bad the facilities were. 

I'd heard some of the people back at base talk about it and most people didn't survive the facility. It made me a little curious as to how I'd lived 16 cycles of my life there, but I decided not to linger on it, knowing it must have been an experience from hell.

Nick continued to explain that I was rescued by the guys and brought to Minato where I stayed at Knightwood. That was where we were currently stopping. The guys and Nikolai decided it might help trigger my memories.

That was where I'd gotten Nighty, my familiar who I had named after Nightmare. That information left me a little curious as to if she was a Starlight god in her familiar form, but if she had experienced the same amnesia as I, she wouldn't remember.

I'd endured a lot after being rescued. We'd been ambushed multiple times during our exams at Knightwood; the first time we barely escaped and the second time I'd apparently died. I'd been revived thanks to Daniel and transferred to intensive care at Heila thanks to Kai, who apparently had a teleportation ability.

My recovery was a harsh one, and I'd lost the use of my legs for a good portion of it. That somewhat made sense to Nikolai and me, both of us noticing that I'd occasionally lose strength in my legs. I thought it was an after-effect of me using too much energy, but the reports of my treatment and therapy were enough to reassure me that I still experienced lingering effects.

I'd been healed by Daniel's gift which I didn't really know the details of, but I was thankful to be able to walk again, even if I couldn't recall any of it. There's no way I'd have survived the missions we’d had on Wintalyn if I hadn’t been able to walk.

I'd been reunited with my family and things were going rather smoothly as I adapted to my home, but Xavier had come back, and we’d gotten into some disagreement which led to me going to the garden by myself.

That was where Jeffrey had knocked me out and kidnapped me. He was the culprit in my apparent memory loss.

I didn't know how I felt about that part yet, unsure if I believed Jeffrey was evil. But he was a mystery that none of us could figure out, with or without my memories. 

That had led to my new identity; I was just Mako with Nighty. That was how I ended up on Wintalyn and met Nikolai, Anna, and Isa. 

Nikolai explained a bit about Ann's past. She was actually Anya, the Princess of Minato and Ryder's sister who had been taken by rogues when she was in her teens. She was on the other side of the ship with Isa, whose real name was Isabella. Isa was the past Queen of ArchAilennia and mother of Daniel Moore and his older brother, Michael Moore.

I didn't really have enough mental space to worry about them, hoping they would be able to figure things out and mend old wounds. All I could do was pray I could do the same, but right now I was trying not to lose it.

As much as I'd wanted to learn about who I was when I was at base with Nick and the others, I never thought it would be THIS hard. Even with Nikolai's reassurance, I couldn't accept that I essentially had six lovers. And how the hell was I going to fix what I once had with five of them?

I felt it would be awkward trying to restore whatever we had, but Nikolai encouraged me to give them a shot. His support at least helped with the decision-making process, and even though I was apprehensive of going to Knightwood, Nikolai suggested I think of it as a vacation to discover my true self.

He'd stay with me whenever I wanted him to, but he stated that he'd occasionally leave me so I could try to interact with the others. So far, I seemed to be intrigued by Ryder who reminded me of Ann or "Anya."

There was something about him that screamed "leader," and Nikolai seemed to have the most confidence in him. Kai was up next in the leader category, and Daniel was rather calm and perceptive like his mother.

Marcus intrigued me, but I didn't have a lot of time to get a feel for him. And my encounter with Elias left me curious to learn more about him, especially because I felt some sort of connection with him. 

I had asked about where EliaseAnne fit into all of this, but Nikolai said he'd let Elias explain that portion. Nikolai felt it wasn't his position to explain and there wasn't really any info about her. It made sense to let her brother give the details because I really doubted they were the same person.

It was already 6 AM and Nick and I were both on the bed, still naked. When the conversation got complicated, we sat up, using the oversized blanket to wrap around us as we continued our long discussion.

"Sorry. It's just a lot to take in..." I admitted, inhaling deeply to try and keep calm. Nikolai nodded, moving from the wall we'd been resting against to cross his legs. I followed suit, using the blanket to cover my lower region like Nick had, knowing quite well that I'd be distracted if I stared at his manhood for too long.

I was fine with my breasts being bare and visible, comfortable being naked around Nikolai, especially after last night.

"I know, Mako."

"I guess...I should be using Makoto Heart?" I gave him a conflicted look, unsure as to how to identify myself now.

"You can use whatever name you're comfortable with. Mako is fine with me." Nick reached out to stroke my cheek, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the gentle strokes of his thumb.

"I like Mako for now," I whispered.

"Then we'll stick with Mako," Nick assured me.

I nodded slightly, my eyes still closed. "Do you think you're a star knight then? I mean, that it's all real?"

"I don't know. I mean, sometimes I hear their voices in my mind. It can be crystal clear at one point and a bunch of muffled sounds the next. Ryder thinks it’s on and off because the knight bond hasn’t been fully established. We don't really know for sure. It's not like this has happened to a group of people in the past, so we have no concrete evidence as to whether we're right or wrong."

"Didn't you say there was a saying?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Did Ryder tell you it?"

"...Yes."

"Why are you hesitant all of a sudden?" I asked, noticing his diverted gaze and rigid posture.

"It’s probably silly," he whispered.

I grabbed his hand that was resting on his lap on top of the blanket and held it gently. Nick's eyes met mine and I squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"I don't think something that worries you is silly. I’ve known you long enough, Nick. If something is troubling you, it means it's important. What's wrong?"

He stared into my eyes for a few seconds before he sighed. "I'm afraid it won't work."

"Why not?"

"I mean...what if I'm not your star knight? It's already hard enough for the both of us to be in this situation. I know I present myself as dominant and confident in front of those guys, but sometimes...when I'm alone with my thoughts, I'm scared I won't make the star knight cut. What if the voices and stuff is just a glitch and I'm not the one? That would be like a slap to the face and a bullet to my heart. I wouldn't know how I'd be able to remain confident around them knowing they were...well, better than me? It's not like I think of myself as better than them, but I'm confident in my love for you and that's satisfying enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is if I'm not your knight...I'm frightened I won't be able to stay near you anymore." Nikolai's shoulders dropped as he gave me a sad look that laid bare all his fears and vulnerabilities.

I uncrossed my legs, adjusted to sit on my knees, and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the hug and lifted me up slightly so that my knees rested in his lap, pressing my warm body flush against his.

"Nikolai. I don't care if you’re a star knight or not. Even if I regain my memories one day, I won't lose the ones we've created, and I won't allow you to leave me. We promised last night, remember?" I pulled back to see his eyes well up with tears, and he looked away.

"Abandonment scares me, Butterfly. To be left alone again...I can't afford to let it happen. It took me a long time to get over the fact that my parents left me on Wintalyn to die. Or whatever happened to make me an orphan. I've always accepted that my entire life would be a lonely existence and that no matter how many times I prayed to the Starlight gods, my wish for someone to lighten up my world wouldn't come true," he explained, raising his glossy eyes to look up into mine.

"I so desperately wanted someone by my side. To not feel so lonely on a realm that was cold and lacked affection. Having you enter my life was like the gods were finally answering my prayers, and I was always afraid to wake up the next morning and realize it was all a dream or my imagination. Even now...with everything that’s happening, I'm still shocked that you’re still here and wonder if there will come a time where you won't be."

A tear rolled down his cheek and I reached out to wipe it away. "Nikolai. I'm real. I'm not going anywhere without you. You're stuck with me," I said softly.

He smiled at my words as more tears fell. "I know, Mako. I believe you. It's just, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me, and that's when doubt settles in. I'm here with a woman who has been through so much. Life tested you repeatedly, and yet you're this beautiful, whole-hearted Princess who loves unconditionally and wants to rid our realms of rogues who've only spread hate and chaos. I would never have dreamed to have such a woman in my life, let alone a woman who loves me so strongly."

He lowered his head and whispered, "I sometimes think that if my mother, a woman who asked the gods for a child and carried me in her womb, could discard me like trash...I...I'm afraid anyone can. I know you wouldn't. I feel it in my very being you'd never discard me... but my mind always tries to be the bringer of negativity, and I sometimes need that reassurance. I've been trying my best not to show it recently, but I guess with how everything has been the last couple of weeks, and now with this new predicament, my insecurities are making a dramatic entrance. Totally unmanly of me." He chuckled, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

I wiped each one away, blinking back my own as I stared into those ruby eyes I adored. "Nikolai, I can't speak on behalf of your mother because I don't know what circumstance she was in to dare discard you. You are a blessing to this world. You're allowed to have insecurities, Nikolai. Everyone is allowed to feel emotions and have doubts. You listen to me all the time. Just because you’re a man doesn't mean you’re not allowed to share what's bothering you." I cradled his face and gave him a slow kiss.

When I pulled back, I continued. "No matter what happens, whether you're a star knight or not, you will be one of my lovers. No one can tell me otherwise or I'll kick their asses." I huffed which made him laugh.

"No one wants to deal with Mako's wrath," he teased.

I blushed. "I'm dangerous! I have five spirits, and I'm some Princess! I have Nighty who can turn into a scythe and do boomerang moves and uh...I'm an amazing sleepwalker!" I declared in defense which only made Nick laugh even harder.

"I think you forgot your unicorn addiction? Can you shoot glitter out of your nose?"

I blushed. "I'm...I'm working on that! It's a process! I just need to find a unicorn shifter to show me the art of glitter nostril uh...blowing. Ah, stop laughing," I whined, my cheeks growing red as Nick laughed harder.

With a groan, I reached out and ruffled his long silver strands that were already in a static frenzy from our love making. "Ugh, I take it back. Leave me alone."

"I know you don't mean that." Nick chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his hold.

"I totally do," I grumbled, and Nick's lovely confident grin returned to those lips of his as he ran his hands through my hair to grip the back of my head.

"Liar," he whispered, pulling me down for a smoldering kiss that made me moan and my nipples begin to harden against his pecs.

"Don't distract me with your damn li- mhm..." I tried to argue, but he kissed me even harder, slipping his tongue into my mouth.

I gave up trying to fight his dominant kisses, closing my eyes to enjoy every bit of him while his free hand released my hair and trailed down my bare back, sending shivers through me.

When we were both breathless, he pulled away. "Do you...wanna try it?"

"Try what? Initiating the bond?" I asked out of curiosity.

Nick nodded, looking a bit nervous. "I...think I want to try it. I don't know if it will be beneficial in any way, but I think if I am a star knight, I want to know. It could help us in the future and would be nice to be able to shut those guys out when I actually want to."

I grinned and shook my head. "Just admit that you're a little happy to have a group of guys to tease."

"Just a little." Nick shrugged, and I giggled, leaning down to kiss him again.

"Are there some special words? Like Abracadabra or something?" I asked.

I moved off his lap and gave us a bit of distance in between before I settled on my knees while Nick remained cross-legged.

"Hmm. It's some long phrase. I have to remember it. Ryder had to say it a few times before I actually got it right. It sounded familiar when he said it...like I'd learned of it when I was younger, but I don't recall how it would be possible to know about it when I was an orphan back then."

"Did Ryder explain how they knew it?"

"He said it was when they got their calling. It's an oath that they say and the Princess, which is you, would respond."

"I don't know how to respond though." I pointed out with a frown.

"Uh, ya. He said your body would recognize it and you'd go into a trance and be able to finish it, or something like that."

"You were half paying attention, weren't you?"

"You know I hate long lectures. I just want them to get to the point and let me do my part."

I grinned and shrugged my shoulders. "True. Let's get this royal knightly mojo oath over with...hmmm. That gives me a deja vu feeling," I admitted.

"Maybe you said it before in the past?" Nikolai suggested.

"Who knows," I replied. "Do we have to be in clothes?" I lowered my gaze at my nakedness.

Nikolai smirked. "I don't think so. It's just you and me here." He shot me an appreciative look while his red eyes scanned my top half.

"Okay." I smiled and took a deep breath. "Let's try it out."

Nick nodded, and I noticed his slight hesitation. I leaned forward and placed my left hand on his thigh. "No matter what. You're my love and will always be."

He nodded, my words giving him enough of a boost to take a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm supposed to be kneeling or something, but here it goes," Nick announced and placed his left hand over his chest.

A weird tingle sensation ran through me, and before I could pinpoint what was happening, my lips moved of their own accord.

My trance-like state didn't stop from there as energy began to boil within me, and I extended my arm out in a stop gesture.

The marking on my wrist began to glow, and I watched as color after color began to lighten up. The Celtic knotwork that was a mix of lines and vines glowed different colors, leading to the six petal rose design that was the center of it all.

There were a few lines that didn't light up and a single rose petal that remained colorless. I watched in awe as the once colorless vines began to glow a bright red, following its path towards the central glowing rose.

It reached the petal that had no color, and a smile seemed to form on my lips as tears pooled in my eyes, the petal beginning to be outlined in red before it filled in, completing the mark.

"In stars, we trust," Nikolai whispered, appearing to be in a similar trance as I. His left hand was immersed in red light, and when it dimmed, it revealed a mark that was similar to mine on the back of his hand.

We sat there in silence, the trance finally broken, but neither of us could move. I didn't know how to feel: happy, sad, grateful? There were so many emotions running through me, some felt foreign as to why I could feel so "complete."

A fresh tear rolled down Nikolai's cheek and he whispered, "I'm your final star knight, Mako....I'm yours."

I gave him a weak smile and heard approaching footsteps before the door flew open. We both turned to see EliaseAnne's wide eyes. She was wearing a nightgown that fit her curves perfectly, and her blonde hair was up in a ponytail. She looked like she'd just hopped out of bed and her analyzing eyes glanced between the two of us before they landed on me.

I blushed, noticing the way she looked down to my top half that wasn't covered. I pulled the sheet up to hide my breasts, and Nick had to blink out of shock before he spoke. "EliaseAnne, why are you here?"

"You're a knight. Makoto finalized the bond," EliaseAnne replied.

"I guess...?" I spoke, fighting to keep my eyes open. Nikolai's my knight. He's mine...he'll stay with me no matter what. I'm so happy and really tired.

"We didn't think it was going to work," Nick admitted. "The others are awake?"

"Yes. We sensed the shift...Makoto are you okay?" EliaseAnne asked with obvious worry.

I blinked a few times, trying to fight off my blurry vision. "I'm...um...fine..." I trailed off, my eyes coming to a close before I fell back into a world of darkness.