~ELIAS~
"She knows we're watching her," I pointed out, feeling a little irritated myself.
My irritability could have been due to the knight bond; all of us felt frustrated with the current situation. Mako had been closed off the last three days.
We'd moved our ship to a different hiding place thanks to Nikolai's direction and only left to head for Minato early this morning. But since then, we'd been dealing with how to confront Mako.
She wouldn't eat, was barely sleeping, and was having mood swings left and right. One minute she'd be like her usual self and talking out loud to her spirits, and the next she'd be snapping randomly, bawling her eyes out, or just staring at the mirror section of the wall.
It didn't matter if Mako couldn’t remember who she was. Her senses were sharp enough to know we were on the other side of the "mirror" wall.
"This isn't good for her, guys. She needs to eat. You all can tell she's lost weight," Daniel pointed out.
"But what can we do? If we let her walk freely in the ship, she could go 180 on us and bring us down." Marcus rubbed a hand down his face in frustration.
"Her mental state is a problem. If this was our Firefly, I wouldn't be as cautious, but this side of Mako we don't know. More importantly, she doesn't trust us or she would at least eat the food we've been bringing her." Kai listed the facts for us.
"More like drink the milk we've been trying to give her. She's going to be dehydrated if this continues," I acknowledged.
"I think we're going to need Nikolai for this. She can't go another day without eating," Daniel stressed.
"I don't want that asshole’s help," Marcus grumbled.
"Can you put your pride aside for two seconds?" Kai huffed, rolling his eyes.
"It has nothing to do with my pride. That prick knows we need him," Marcus argued.
"He's not that bad," Daniel commented. The three of us looked at him.
"Really," I stated.
Nikolai had been checking in to see if Mako was okay from time to time, but he was working with Ryder on the whole star knight bond thing.
Nikolai didn't know how to control his emotions, especially from it leaking into the bond. That was becoming a big pain in the ass for all of us, but specifically Ryder, who after a day of "sucking it up" couldn't take it anymore and had to confront Nikolai about it.
Surprisingly enough, Nikolai would listen to Ryder and even Kai, but he was still an ass at times. It's not like he was necessarily trying to be an ass, but his dominant personality only made us realize our own insecurities and flaws.
Nikolai knew what he wanted, was confident in his powers, and was a fast learner. That in itself made me irritated because I wanted to be able to be like that. To be confident and prove my love to the woman who'd changed me in many ways.
Yet, I'd tried three times to talk to her, and all three times, the wall seemed more interesting than my attempts at breaking whatever barrier she'd made inside.
"You guys have to stop being so butthurt," Daniel declared.
"Who said we’re butthurt," Marcus grumbled.
"I’m referring to you and Elias," Daniel clarified.
I lifted my eyebrow at him. "What about Kai?"
"I'm actually trying to accept him. You do realize he's toying with the both of you because you fall for it every single time?" Kai snarked.
"I'm not accepting that ass!" Marcus snapped.
"Me neither," I replied.
"You two are acting like you're three cycles." Kai sighed, shaking his head.
"You were angry before, what the fuck cha-" Marcus argued but was cut off.
"Can all of you SHUT IT FOR ONE SECOND!"
We all flinched at the anger laced voice, and we all turned our attention to Mako who was still on the bed, looking as bitter as ever. My attention shifted to see the glass of milk had cracked due to her lashing out and the dairy liquid was now all over the table and dripping onto the floor.
"Elias...I think we're going to have to get Nick's help or Mako's really going to have a mental breakdown," EliaseAnne whispered in my mind. I swallowed, returning my focus to Mako.
"All of you. Go sleep. I'm not in the mood right now," she declared, and I could tell she said it out loud on purpose. There was a moment of silence before she cursed and was staring at the damaged glass and spill.
"They can see me. Those men can see exactly what I do or say. It's a test. This could all be a trap," she mumbled. From the look on her face, that was an outspoken thought.
"We need Nikolai," Daniel stressed again.
I opened my mouth to reply, but my eyes caught a glimpse of something furry. It took me a few seconds to realize Nightmare had come out of nowhere.
The others followed my gaze and we watched Nighty approach Mako. That will keep her distracted for a moment.
"We do not," Marcus countered.
"He's the only way we're going to get through to Mako, Marcus! Do you want her to lose any more weight? Or better yet, breakdown for real? She's literally on the verge of a massive breakdown!" Daniel snapped, his golden eyes beginning to turn orange.
We all froze, and I looked at Marcus who bit his lip, appearing frustrated. The door opened and Ryder walked in.
"What are you guys arguing about?" he asked, glancing between us as he closed the door. His gaze fell on the glass, then on Mako, and I checked on her as well. She was currently rinsing Nighty in the little sink, and I was suddenly thankful it was there. At least if Mako wouldn’t drink the milk, she would occasionally drink water using the small cup we'd left on the sink.
I didn’t like how bruised up her lips were though, knowing she'd constantly been biting them whenever she could. I didn't even think she realized it.
"Marcus and Elias don't want Nikolai's help," Daniel replied.
Ryder frowned, taking another look at Mako who was now drying Nighty off with some wind skill. "He's not that bad," Ryder muttered.
"See." Kai huffed.
I rolled my eyes. "Why aren't you guys seeing he's a threat to us?" I argued, feeling Eli at the edge of my mind.
"How is he a threat?" Ryder questioned. I felt terrible for making him talk, especially with those dark circles under his eyes and the level of exhaustion that was apparent on his face.
"He can sweep Mako off her feet because she loves him. She doesn't remember any of us. He can tell her whatever he wants to and she'd believe him instead of us. She won't even talk to us, but we're gonna give him the chance to get even closer to her?" I explained how I felt which was more of a fear than anything.
"Exactly. Why are we giving him a chance? We should be trying to help her remember us," Marcus suggested.
"No," Ryder declared. We all stared at him in confusion.
"Excuse me? What? You don't want her remembering us?" Marcus asked, looking even more irritated than before.
"No. I don't," Ryder confirmed, and I was left utterly confused.
"Um, Ryder. Did you hit your head or something?" I asked.
Ryder rolled his eyes. "I didn't hit my head. You guys are using your emotions to make your decisions. Can you stop for a second and think about Mako's current situation?"
"We HAVE thought about her damn situation, Ryder. We've thought about it since the moment Elias and EliaseAnne found her and realized Mako's in love with that damn hellhound!" Marcus argued.
"Again, your anger is doing your talking." Kai sighed.
"Are we actually arguing right now?" I questioned.
"Ryder. Get Nick now," Daniel ordered.
We all looked at the angel shifter before glancing at Mako. She was now bawling her eyes out. She was curled up on the bed, nudged right into the corner while she cuddled Nightmare whose tails were poking out.
"I wanna go home, Nighty," Mako sobbed. Her voice was but a whisper, but we all heard it clearly, feeling the vulnerability in those words.
"I want Nikolai. I miss him. Where is he? Did he give me away to these men? Did he abandon me?" She cried uncontrollably, and I couldn't hold back the sadness that tore through me.
Seeing Mako broken, sitting there crying for the man she currently loved and trusted, immediately made me regret arguing in the first place.
I glanced back to see Ryder was already gone. Kai took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them up, they held a level of seriousness we didn't see often. I knew Kai was at his limit with our plea.
"You guys just have to. Suck. It. Up. We can't be arguing like a bunch of hormonal teenagers because we don't want the overconfident, powerful hellhound having the lead in whatever competition you guys are making. You don't like him? Too fucking bad! He's a star knight, and even if you want to deny it, as of now, Ryder can sense him!" Kai snapped.
He turned to watch Mako, who was still bawling her eyes out. "I want Nikolai. Where's my Nikolai?" she cried repeatedly.
Kai pointed to the glass, his finger aimed directly at Mako. "Tell me right now that you're okay with watching Mako break down? Tell me that you're fine with seeing the woman we all love, BEG for the only person she trusts right now. You think keeping him away from her is helping ANY of us? No! It's hurting HER! It's hurting OUR Firefly."
Ryder returned, opening the door and Nick was behind him, but Kai continued, not even noticing they had returned.
"Stop and think for one moment about if Mako DOES remember her past. You think her memories are only going to be the good ones? The ones where we fell in love with her and enjoyed our time at Knightwood? No! It's going to start from the fucking beginning and hit her like a damn truck! She's going to remember the torture she endured at the facility, the pain and agony she went through during our first exam. She'll remember her death experience at Leo's exam, and how suicidal she was when she lost her ability to walk! She's going to recall her older brother sputtering hurtful nonsense to her, and that's all going to clash with her recent memories. Guess what's going to happen? A FUCKING MELTDOWN!"
Marcus and I were silent, and Daniel sighed. "Right now, Mako has a new identity for herself. The moment she regains her memories...they're going to clash, and to be honest, I don't know what's going to happen. Mako is a rarity herself with five spirits. She's handling this the best she can while dealing with her spirits’ emotions as well."
Ryder walked inside the room then, looking through the glass to see Mako was still crying, but her sobs were quieter. Nick took a deep breath.
"I don't care if you don't like me," he began, and I had to reach out and stop Marcus from being an idiot and starting a fight; his body tensed in anger.
Nick didn't even flinch at Marcus' movement and continued. "If you care so much about Mako, stop trying to interfere and let her decide what she wants to do. I don't know about all of you, but I've learned that Mako is open-minded. Right now, she needs comfort to get through finding out she's some Princess, has a family, and five lovers. We have no clue what side we're on and who's telling the truth or who’s lying. Sure, I've read all the files you gave me and know Mako's past from the inside out, but she doesn't, and now I have to be the bringer of bad news and tell her all of it. Why am I doing this? To give you guys a chance. I don't need to, but maybe if I explain her past to her, it won't have such a strong impact on her when she does remember."
We stood there in silence as he continued. "I've been alone my whole life. I don't remember my family, friends, or where I was even born. I still can't even understand how I'm a star knight and why I was left out of the loop and abandoned on Wintalyn while all of you got reunited. Do you see me getting my cock in a knot? No."
We could feel his pain then, the flicker of agony and loneliness, and it shut all of us up. Nick turned around.
"Mako needs our support. She needs to be nurtured back to her strong self and slowly introduced to her past. I agree with your plans to go back to this Knightwood to help her regain her memories with all of you slowly, but we're doing it on MY terms. She needs to know that if she freaks out, I won't be put in some far away corner that's out of her reach because, at this point, I'm her only safety net. I'm the one she can confidently talk to and share what's really bothering her, and that's what we need to help her heal again. If you don't like that, maybe you need some time to figure out if you really love Mako because I wouldn't let the woman I love remain in pain over my manly pride."
With that he left the room, leaving us speechless. I heard the click of the door of the other room, and we watched Nick lower the lights. He moved cautiously to the bed and knelt down onto the mattress, reaching out to brush her tear stained cheek.
Mako lifted her head to stare at Nikolai like he wasn't real. We watched their exchange, but it wasn't until Nightmare had acknowledged Nick's presence before Mako slowly began to realize he wasn't some type of illusion.
"Nick..." Mako whispered. Nikolai looked at her and brushed away a tear that rolled down her cheek with his thumb.
"My Butterfly, don't cry. I'm right here," Nikolai whispered, and he leaned forward and kissed Mako so tenderly. When he pulled back, we could see the realization begin to sink in as those turquoise jewels grew wide and were flooded with tears.
My heart clenched at the sobs that began to escape her as she whimpered. "Nick..."
He immediately tugged her gently, and Mako crawled into his arms as she began to weep.
"I'm sorry, Mako. Don't cry, my Butterfly. I couldn't come earlier. They had to scan me and get a bit of my side of the story. I didn't think you'd feel so alone," Nikolai apologized.
"I'm lonely, Nikolai. I missed you. So scared. So damn scared. I thought you'd abandoned me," Mako cried.
"I told you I'd never abandon you," Nikolai whispered.
We watched in silence, realizing how horrible we'd been, keeping her alone and thinking we'd be able to just fix her.
"I can't stay any longer," Ryder announced, and without waiting for a reply, left the room.
Kai cursed and followed, glancing back at us. "Let Nick comfort her for now. We have our agreement in place. He won't harm any of us or Mako. She needs him, and I bet he'd get her to eat. We'll talk about other matters later. Try to keep your emotions intact," Kai reminded and left.
I knew he'd be following Ryder to make sure he was okay. We were being assholes for making Ryder struggle with our emotions the last three days when he'd been dealing with getting a sister back who didn't even remember him.
The three of us returned to observing Mako. She’d calmed down, and they were currently talking in that weird language none of us understood.
I wouldn't deny that I was a little upset that I couldn't understand what they were saying, but at least Mako was talking. She looked so exhausted and the T-shirt that a few days ago fit her curves perfectly was super loose.
"She needs food," I pointed out.
Daniel nodded. "I'm going to go get something from Mo....I mean Isa. Maybe she can put in some vitamins and some sleeping meds to help Mako sleep. She seriously needs it. I'll ask Nick if it's okay to do so. I'll be back."
We watched him move to the door, taking a final look at Mako and Nikolai before he sighed.
"Don't think I don't understand how you guys feel. I really do. Feeling like we won't have a chance against a guy who has a head start and already has Mako's trust. Nikolai isn't here to fight against us. He's a star knight like us, and I think he's going to be the only way we're getting Firefly back. Yes, it sucks...but I'd do anything to see Makoto return to the healthy, happy, woman she was. Not her current fragile state. I think you would agree." He opened the door and left, leaving just Marcus and me.
"This sucks," EliaseAnne whispered.
"I agree," I stated out loud.
"Agree with?" Marcus asked.
"That this sucks. EliaseAnne just said that," I replied, ruffling my hair.
Marcus let out a long exhale as he stared at his feet.
"I know I'm acting like a stubborn ass, but what if she really never remembers us? What...what if she doesn't want to love us a second time? I just can't act like I'm not frightened that we've lost Mako and her spirits for good. I don't know if I can watch her be happy with someone else...as selfish as that sounds. Not when I don't know him. I don't trust him. I just...I want to feel the connection that he's a star knight before I can accept that, regardless of what happens, Mako will be loved...with or without us," Marcus confessed.
EliaseAnne took over then, pushing me aside for a moment. We stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulders. He lifted his head to meet our glowing emerald eyes.
"I don't want to agree with Nikolai...but let's give Mako a chance to learn more about us. We can't force her to remember, and being too headstrong with our approach may backfire on us. Mako loved us on her own. I think maybe...just maybe she'll love us again, just at her pace," EliaseAnne whispered.
Marcus stared into our eyes for a long time before he nodded. "Okay. I'll try to calm down and not cause a fight. I'm gonna go for a run in the training room."
We nodded in understanding, and EliaseAnne retreated, giving me full control again. When the door closed, I sighed, realizing I was alone.
"This is stressful as hell," I mumbled, lifting my gaze to realize Nikolai was gone and Mako was talking out loud which I assumed was to her spirits.
She stood in front of the washroom door, and Nighty was sitting at her feet staring up at her.
"I do not..." Mako began, lifting her shirt to her nose before a disgusted expression formed on her face. "Holy Starlight! I reek! Why didn't you guys tell me earlier?!" she exclaimed and was silent for a moment, appearing deep in thought.
My eyes widened as she pulled the shirt off and tossed it in the corner. I gulped, looking at her frame that was only in a pink bra and underwear.
I realized she'd really lost weight; my worry for her health only increased as I scanned her skinny frame. Regardless of her change, my cock twitched, and I needed a second to calm my arousal. Not the time to get horny.
Mako turned around, and she began to walk towards the glass mirror. My eyes widened, taking in her breasts that fit perfectly in the neon bra she currently wore. Gaze lowering, I took in her abs and skimmed down to her lower region, the action making my cock harder and press against my boxers. Fuck...
I quickly averted my gaze, glancing back up to meet Mako's eyes. I didn't know why, but I stepped up to the glass window, pressing my hand against it just as she did.
For that second, it felt like she could see me. That she felt my presence.
"Why do I keep thinking about you?" she whispered.
Her look told me she knew who I was, but in the next second, it was gone. She seemed bothered as to why she was standing there.
"If I don't remember...would you even be able to care about me like you used to?"
A tear rolled down my cheek at her words. "Yes...I would," I replied, knowing quite well that she wouldn't respond. She couldn't hear my statement, and it hurt that I couldn't go in there and reassure her we'd love her whether she remembered us or not.
I watched her turn around and head straight for the washroom, closing the door behind her after she entered.
I stood where I was with my hand pressed on the glass, and I could still feel the lingering warmth of where her hand used to be. That, or it could have been a figment of my imagination.
Either way, I realized how desperate I was for her love again. How much I needed her back in my life. In our lives.
She'd brought us together, loved us wholeheartedly, and I knew we needed her to bring us back together once more.
"All of us...which includes our final knight," EliaseAnne confirmed. I nodded, closed my eyes, and pressed my head against the glass.
The real question was:
Would I have the patience to let Nikolai help our Princess?