The party last night was pretty spectacular. I got to witness multiple shifts before we all went on a pack run through the forest. That’s the last thing I remember before strong arms scooped me up and took me to bed. The only reason I knew it was Pete, was his aroma. The fresh mint drawing me in as I nuzzled his neck. I vaguely remember hearing his groan but I can’t be sure. Maybe he just grunted from my weight?
I look in front of me to see Jason spread out beside me. I can still feel Pete behind me and someone at my feet. It looks like the others are all up already.
I reach out, grazing my hand across the stubble on Jason’s face, smiling at the coarse feeling. His lips curves at my touch, releasing a soft sigh, “I love when you touch me like that,” he murmurs. I go to pull my hand away but he reaches up, holding my hand to his cheek. “Don’t stop, It’s nice.”
Grinning, I keep my hand on his cheek, stroking across the high edge of his cheekbones with my thumb, enjoying the different feelings it ignites. Ever so slowly, I move my hand down, trailing across his jaw, down his neck, over his collarbone before ending up on his bare chest.
A light smattering of hair covers his chest, so pale compared to his dark hair that it takes me by surprise. How come I didn’t notice it before? Then again, Jason is the more reserved of the guys, not pushing his nudity on me like Pete who I can feel pressed against my ass. I guess after we shifted back last night, he decided no clothes was a better option than dressing either of us.
I pull my hand back. As much as my wolf screams in my head to keep going, I can’t. It feels wrong to take advantage of them. They’re men, in a bed with me, a woman, and if I touch them, it just gets too complicated and will lead to frustration.
The person at the foot of the bed moves, and seconds later, Nate is looking down at me. “Hello princess. How’d you sleep last night? You were pretty exhausted,” he says, concern in his eyes. I move away from Jason to pull Nate down for a hug. His arms give out making him land on me in a whoosh of air. I tap his back in exasperated panic, “Can’t breathe, lungs squished,” I fake gasp as he rises above me.
As soon as he sees my grin, he relaxes, “Jeez Dani. Don’t do that! I thought I hurt you,” he says, a frown on his face.
Seeing this has me feeling guilty. “Sorry Nate, I didn’t mean to make you upset, I was just playing,” I tell him, offering a soft kiss on his cheek. When he pulls back, a massive grin is on his face before he turns and grins down at Pete, “I win, pay up,” he laughs.
Wait, What?
Pete grumbles and leans over the bed for something. I look at Jason to see if he knows what’s going on only to see he is just as confused as I am. Nate, meanwhile, is still grinning.
“Guys? What did you bet on?” I ask, not letting my irritation seep into my voice. I want them to get the full effect after I find out if they did what I think they did or not.
Jason watches with a smirk as Pete grumbles, “he bet he could make you feel guilty by you doing something to him. I promised him a night with you without the rest of us if he could, plus all the money in my wallet, which is just over two hundred dollars,” he sighs, irritated.
My face goes blank, anger taking root in my heart. “Oh, so you two thought it would be fun to make me feel guilty with everything that is going on? My dad being dead, trials to complete, almost being kidnapped and you think now is the right time for this kind of shit?!” My voice is rising as my frustration does, “Are you both really so petty? How do you think that makes me feel?”
They finally seem to realize something is wrong with what they did. It’s a little too late though because my anger is taking control. I bolt from the bed, not caring that I’m still naked, I point to the door to the room. “I’d like the two of you to leave, please.”
I watch as Nate scrambles up, looking confused and Pete dives from the bed, pulling on a pair of boxers trying to approach me, “Dani, I…”
I shake my head, not ready to hear their apologies, “Just go. Find me later when I’m in a better mood.”
Nate looks crestfallen but I just don’t have the energy to deal with them. Jason has propped himself up in the bed, watching me with a contemplative look in his eyes. I walk around the room, gathering up clothes and putting them on, waiting for him to speak. He is too compassionate not to.
Once I’m fully dressed, he finally speaks up, “Are you ok?” he asks me softly, climbing out the bed and approaching me slowly as if one wrong move will set me off. Which honestly is how I’ve been feeling. As if every little thing is going to set me off.
I allow him to pull me into his arms, almost melting into a puddle at the feel of his wolf, offering me comfort. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I mutter against his chest. Looking up at him, I see the sympathy in his eyes, as he strokes my back soothingly.
The concern in his eyes, has me spilling everything. “I’m tired, Jason. It hasn’t even been a month of being amongst you all and I understand completely why Dad kept me away. If I grew up in a pack, I would be just as ruthless as Luke, and that scares me. Even now, I noticed I’m getting angry and frustrated by every little thing. If it’s not the Elders, it’s you guys.”
He raises his eyebrows ready to tell me I can be with whoever I want to but I stop him before he starts.
“No, I don’t mean being with you all but how will it work. I know sharing females is a concept accepted among the packs and I want all of you but I fear the jealousy is going to be too much. Already, things have got a little out of hand with a few of you and I still don’t understand what happens with mates or the mating ritual. Do we just have sex? Is it a marriage? Is it meaningless? All of these questions are constantly swimming around in my mind leaving me so confused, frustrated and angry. Not to mention, I’ve overheard many pack members whispering that I’m overly emotional. Are they expecting me to be an emotionless robot? Not to mention my own body is out of whack since being here. My cycle is two weeks late and I have no goddamn idea why!”
I clasp a hand over my mouth, shocked I just said that last part. Way too much information. Jason however, doesn’t even let that bother him. “Dani, I’ve been an idiot. No, we’ve all been idiots. You’ve just shifted honey, so it’s like puberty all over again. You’ll be hormonal for the next couple of months until your first heat triggers. Once that happens, everything, including your cycle, will settle down. I’m sorry none of us bothered to explain this to you sooner, we just naturally assumed you would know,” he sighs, placing a kiss against my temple.
I sigh too, relieved to know there isn’t anything wrong with me. I started freaking out, thinking I was losing myself. It’s nice to know there’s a reasonable explanation for all my emotions. “Thank you for telling me. Honestly, it’s nice to know there is an answer for all of the anger I’m feeling. Speaking of anger,” I continue, “I’m going to go find Pete and Nate to apologize.”
He grins down at me, “I knew you would. You never stay angry for long. It lasts maybe a minute before you go back to being all forgiving. It’s why I like you so much. Other women would hold onto their anger, never letting it go and constantly making us live through every little thing we did wrong. It’s refreshing being with someone who has our best interests at heart, all whilst still taking care of herself.”
I look up at him, as he bends down offering me a chaste kiss. Well, it starts out chaste. Kissing Jason is always like opening Pandora’s box, it unleashes a wave of need though instead of destruction. We end up pressed against the bedroom door, my legs wrapped around his waist as he kisses me with abandon, tasting me, driving me to that very edge. Of course, that’s when he pulls back panting. “Dani, I’m sorry, we need to stop. Shit!” he throws himself away from me, placing as much distance between us as he can.
I stand here, panting with need, my wolf pacing in my mind. “Dani? I’m sorry I have to leave. My wolf is going wild. I think your wolf is going into heat,” he pants, edging around the wall to the window. “I need you to stay here until your wolf is calm. I’ll send Lily up, she’ll be able to explain things better than I can,” he groans, steps forward and visibly fights with himself to go back to the window. He rips it open and throws himself out in the blink of an eye. Running over to the window, I’m glad to see he landed safely. All the guys are gathering around him, obviously asking what’s wrong. I see him gesturing wildly between Nate and Pete before gesturing back up to me. He sees me watching and grins at me, his wolf still peeking out of his eyes, the amber making it obvious. As I watch, the rest of the guys look up and as if it’s choreographed, one by one they take in a deep breath. Oh shit. I slam the window shut as their eyes turn amber but I still hear them when they shift and run off into the woods howling.
My wolf lets out an agonized howl and I run into the adjoining bathroom and turn the shower on cold before diving under, clothes still on. I sit here curled in a ball until the door opens and a gasp draws my attention.
Lily is looking down at me in sympathy, “Oh sweetie, come on, let’s get you out of there,” she says, pulling a towel from the rack and holding it up for me. I turn the switch off, ignoring the way my body is shivering and climb out into her waiting arms. She wraps the towel around me, grabbing another to dry my hair. I stand still, shock taking over. What just happened?
“Dani? Your skin is going ice cold. I need you to strip and get dry. I’ll turn the heater on out in the room while you do. Just give me a call if you need some help, ok?”
I nod absentmindedly, stripping down as she leaves the room. I towel myself off, before wrapping it around me and going back in the bedroom. Lily silently hands me some clothes so I get dressed, my motions emotionless as I try to process.
Once I’m dressed, she guides me to the bed, running a brush through my hair. A knock on the door announces James’s entrance. He stares straight at me, a look of sympathy on his face. After Lily is finished brushing my hair, her and James drag chairs in front of me, waiting.
I look up, not sure what to say, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. Can you please tell me what’s going on?” I beg, tears streaking down my face. I don’t understand all of this. Why didn’t Dad tell me this would happen?
Lily clears her throat looking uncomfortable. “I don’t know what you know, but what you just felt was the start of your heat cycle. Do you know what a heat cycle is?” she asks, a blush spreading across her cheeks.
James looks away, his own cheeks a touch pink.
“I only know what Jason told me before he threw himself out the window. He said I’m emotional after my first shift, and that my heat cycle would start soon. We kissed then my wolf became unbearable. His was the same. That’s why he jumped.”
James and Lily are nodding after my brief explanation, as if what I said makes perfect sense. James takes it upon himself to explain, “When a female wolf turns sixteen, she shifts for the first time. A month after the first shift takes place, her body starts a heat cycle. This is for the continuation of our line. The thing is, the last twenty years, without the proper queen leading us, our females have only had one heat cycle, shortly after they turn. This means many females have been forced to have a child on their first and only heat if they wish to have families. However, something has happened with your first shift. Laura and Tim have been told wolves in their pack have been in heat since you left.”
Lily interrupts, “Hell Dani, even females in my pack are going into heat. The only explanation is you.”
“What Lily means to say is, before now, we never had this happen amongst us. I believe, that your line is bringing back fertility amongst the packs. Your power is, in essence, based in healing. Melina’s was, so I assume yours would be similar. What happened up here was your wolf trying to force a heat. You obviously care for each of your mates, which is why she is more than happy to start it now.”
Okay then…
I’m not really sure what to do with all that information. “Does this mean anytime I’m around one of them, I’m going to go into a raging hormonal mess?”
James blushes and looks away embarrassed, while Lily laughs. She sobers enough to give me an answer though, “No, Dani. You just have to avoid those, uh, situations, just like you did today. Your body will give you some warning before the heat strikes. You will feel needy, like you need to be touched or held, then your mate, or in your case, mates, will show you a lot of attention. Some even compete for your affection, or try to prove their worthiness. It all depends on the character of the man themselves,” she explains.
I sit in silence, trying to absorb everything, only to feel like my brain is going to overload. Why is this happening?
“Dani?” James tries grabbing my attention again but my mind is going through it all.
Mates, heat, babies. That’s what they’re trying to say right? No! I can’t have children! I don’t even want children! “I don’t want kids!” I shout.
James and Lily both startle, taken aback by my outburst. James, grabs my hand, while I pant, the beginnings of a panic attack taking over, “Dani! Calm down! No one is saying you have to have kids now, just that, that is what a heat cycle is for, procreation. Jeez, we’re not going to go ‘here you go boys first one to knock her up, wins!’ We’re not barbarians,” he rolls his eyes, clearly exasperated.
“Oh, sorry, it just sounded like that,” I mutter sheepishly, not looking either of them in the eyes. I’m not sure I want to know what they’re thinking right now.
All that’s happened is bad enough and I still have to grab my stuff for us to go to the next pack. It’s like a four-hour flight away. Plus, I have to meet with the Elders to find out whether they want me to do this without them or if they are ready to stop being such asses. Finger crossed it’s the latter because my hormones are all over the place and I will snap if they cross any more lines.