NINE

She’s the brave new world that draws me in.

Leelo

“Don’t cry, Mom.”

“I’m not,” I lie with my face pressed to Matt’s shoulder. It’s clear he doesn’t believe me, since I can feel his chest move with his soft laughter. I give him a healthy shove as I step out of his embrace. “Not nice to laugh at your mother.” The smile on his face cracks open.

“I’m coming back, Mom. I love it up here,” he says, running a distracted hand through his unruly mop, as he takes in the surroundings. “Love breathing this clean air. It’s quiet. The pace is different. It feels peaceful up here. I feel peaceful up here.”

I look at his handsome face and can see he means every word.

“This is as much your home as you want it to be, love,” I tell him, putting a hand in the middle of his chest. “All you have to do is show up.”

He pulls me back in his arms, tucks my head under his chin, and mumbles, “I know, Mom. I’d stay longer if I could.”

“Yeah...” I swallow hard as I soak up the moment. “Best get on the road, kiddo,” I finally say, resolutely stepping back as I let go of him. “You’ve got a long drive ahead, and you have to get up at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow.”

I shove the thermos of coffee and the bag of food for the trip in his direction and follow him to his truck.

“Drive safe, and call me when you get to Sudbury,” I instruct him, when he rolls down his window and sticks his elbow out.

Matt is about to say something when we both hear someone coming up the drive. The car pulls to a stop beside us. The passenger window rolls down and a woman sticks her head out. A man looks over from behind the wheel.

“Do you still have a vacancy?”

I’d finally hooked the vacancy board onto the big sign by the side of the road, yesterday afternoon. Matt and I worked like dogs the entire weekend, and not only did we get half of the units ready, we also managed to clear and clean the bar. Matt had introduced me to the ideas he and Roar had been discussing, and I had to admit I liked them. A simple lick of paint, a good washing of the windows, and some rearranging of existing furniture left us with a presentable space. It needs a few softening touches, it’s a bit bare right now, but those are details that’ll come with time.

“I do,” I tell the waiting couple in the car. “I’ll be right with you.” I turn to Matt and mirror the big grin he sports. “Gotta go, Bud. Looks like I’ve got my first guests.”

“Congrats,” he rumbles smiling, sticking his head out the window so I can reach up and kiss his cheek.

I watch until he’s backed out of his spot and starts down the driveway before turning to my new guests, who are getting out of the car.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. My son was up for a few days, helping me out, and is just heading back home,” I smile, as I indicate for them to follow me inside.

After exchanging a few pleasantries, I have them fill out some paperwork, run their credit card with the new Square I picked up for that purpose expressly, and hand them the key to unit seven.

“Are you open for business?” The woman wants to know, looking around the bar. “Or should we find a meal in town?”

“I’m not completely set up yet,” I admit, after only a brief hesitation. “But if you don’t mind a hearty bowl of chili that’s been bubbling since this morning, I’d be happy to share dinner with you. I’ll even throw in some fresh baked cornbread.”

“We couldn’t possibly—” the woman starts, but I dismiss her objection with a wave of my hand.

“Trust me, you’d be doing me a favour,” I assure her. “I cooked, not realizing my son wouldn’t be here to eat it. I made enough for an army, because he eats like one. I’ll have it ready around six?” I smile at both as they exchange a quick look before turning to me.

“Sounds good,” the husband answers. “Gives us time for a nap.” He throws a meaningful look in the direction of his wife, who rolls her eyes before letting herself be guided outside.

I’d have to be stupid not to know these two are going to have the springs creaking before too long. Thank God I gave them one of the last units. It’s one thing knowing someone will be getting some action today, but it’s another altogether to have to listen to them go at it. Would make for an awkward dinner tonight.

I smile as I head through the kitchen to my house beyond, to look for some candles or knick-knacks I can use to cozy up the tables.

-

“Whitefish Motel,” I answer the ringing phone on the counter. I’ve just pulled the cornbread from the oven and am clearly getting comfortable in my professional capacity.

“I see you’ve opened for business,” Roar’s deep rumble chuckles on the other side.

“I have guests,” I announce, smiling big as I wedge the phone between my shoulder and my ear. “Showed up this afternoon, and guess what?”

“What?” he responds dutifully, amusement lacing his voice.

“I’m about to feed them dinner.”

“No kidding, eh? Good for you. I won’t keep you, I just wanted to see if Matt got off okay.” The smile on my face is starting to hurt my cheeks. That’s so nice of him.

He hasn’t been here since Saturday, but Matt went over to the lodge on Monday, after dinner, to go fishing again. It had been nice just having Matt and I putz around the place, but have to admit, I caught myself listening for the crunch of gravel every time I heard a car on the road.

“He did. Left a little after two. He’ll call when he gets to Sudbury.”

“Good. That’s good. And you?” The smile is gone, but the concern in his voice warms me to the core.

“I’m fine. Sad he’s gone, but it was the best time we’ve spent together in a long, long time,” I admit softly.

“I’m glad.” His deep gentle rumble gives me goosebumps. “I’m sure he’ll be back before long.”

“Yeah.”

The silence that follows seems loaded, as if we’re both unsure what to say next, but not ready to hang up either. It’s Roar who finally breaks it.

“I should get going. Call me if you need anything, okay? Any time.”

“Sure. Thanks. I’ll, uhh...see you around,” I add awkwardly.

“Yes, you will,” is the last thing I hear him say before the connection is broken.

I don’t know how long I’m standing there, dead phone in one hand and an oven mitt in the other, when I hear the door of the bar open followed by a bright, “Hello?”

“I’ll be right there!” I call out, reaching for a knife to cut the cornbread. “Grab any table!”

Roar

I drop my head the moment I end the call.

I barely lasted three days.

When I drove off last Saturday, I had a hard-on so fucking uncomfortable it had me shifting in my seat all the damn way home. All from a peek at her barely covered body, a whiff of her freshly washed, ridiculous blue hair, and a light brush of my lips to her skin.

I spent the entire night, and the next day, resisting the temptation to head over there to have another taste of that mouth, and maybe other parts of her progressively irresistible body.

I grab a pen and jot down the words that float to the surface, as they often do.

This is not me. I’m in full control—always—and it’s served me well, but this woman unsettles me. Or rather, my response to her does. Fuck, I’ve even taken a shine to her son.

I keep to myself, allowing for minimal involvement, in particular when dealing with women. Sex has for years been more of an occasional physical release than something more—deeper—but it’s all I think about now. Sex with Leelo.

I’m obsessed and I’ve barely even touched the woman. For all I know, we’re not sexually compatible at all. But somehow, I don’t believe that. Hell, even hearing her breathe on the phone has my body respond like fucking Pavlov’s dog.

I’ve come this far, through hardship and loss, by letting the mind rule over matter. But right now, my matter is clearly in the driver’s seat, and my mind tossed clear out the window.

I can kid myself and say it was just to see about Matt when I dialled her number, but that would be a lie.

“You okay?” Patti’s voice stirs me from my thoughts and I turn to face her, surreptitiously crumpling up the note and stuffing it in my pocket.

“Fine,” I respond, bracing when she steps right up to me and reaches up with her hand.

“It’s getting long,” she says, as she runs her fingers through my hair. I do everything not to shake my head free of her touch. “Want me to grab the clippers and give you your summer cut?”

Unable to handle her touch, when my body is still buzzing in response to Leelo, I grab her wrist and pull her hand down.

“No thanks. I’ll handle it.” I try to be as gentle as I can, but Patti is not good at hiding her hurt.

We’ve been stuck, she and I, in the years since Tom’s death. Bound by the loss, we’d seek occasional solace in each other’s arms. Neither of us willing, or able, to move on from where he left us. Part of me must’ve recognized, in recent years, that perhaps she was more content to settle for me as a replacement in her life than I was with settling for that role. The history we have, as well as the comfortable tangle of our lives, made it easy to slip back into the role of lovers. I love her no different now, as when she was my best friend’s girl.

“Sure,” she forces a smile, slips her wrist from my hand, and grabs her bag from the chair. “Well, I’m heading out. Are you set for the rest of the week? I’m going to be busy with the music festival coming up. I’ve been asked to maintain some of the venues.”

“That’s great, Patti. Yeah, I’m good. We’re into weekly rentals starting next week, and I don’t anticipate any drop-ins this week, so I’ll have lots of time to handle the changeover on Saturday,” I assure her.

“All right then,” she says, after a brief pause to see if I’m being truthful. “See you next week.”

I feel guilty at my relief when she smiles and walks out the door.

-

For the next few days, I stay busy making sure all the boats are running, and all vacant cabins are ready for the Saturday check-ins. Next week will be the first week of school holidays, and although we don’t get a ton of families at the lodge, it always seems to herald the start of our summer season.

It isn’t until Thursday, on my way home from getting supplies in town, that I can’t resist stopping in to see Leelo.

Her Jeep is parked on the side of the bar, and a second car is parked out front of one of the units at the far side. There’s no sign of Leelo, but a couple loaded down with luggage is stepping out from under the overhang, heading to the car.

I pull in front of the bar and hop out of the cab, looking around for any sign of her.

“You looking for Leelo?” the guy calls out, as he shuts the trunk of his car.

“Yeah. She here?” I call back, starting to walk in his direction.

“She’s out back. Clearing a trail or something, she said.”

“Thanks.” I nod at the couple as they get into the car and drive off.

I hope to hell they’re paid up, because I’d hate to see Leelo stiffed her first week in business.

Making my way around the last unit, I scan the surroundings, but don’t see her until a splash of water draws my attention. I can see the lake through the trees and just manage to catch a glimpse of the bright, midday sun hitting the blue hair that’s been growing on me.

I find her up to her chest in the lake, muttering and swearing under her breath as she fruitlessly shoves against the dock. I can’t see what she’s wearing below the water, but her wet shirt is plastered against her body, leaving little to the imagination.

Full, lush, and unapologetic, she’s stunning, framed in the bright reflection off the water.

“What are you up to?”

She jumps at the sound of my voice and loses her footing, falling backward into the lake. I’m ready to jump when she immediately surfaces, splashing wildly, while gasping and spitting mouthfuls of water.

“Christ, you scared me,” she says when she finally manages to catch her breath, glaring in my direction as she whips the wet hair from her face.

“Sorry,” I grin, but I’m not. Not really. That was fun to watch. “Just thought I’d check in and see if you needed help. I can’t help notice I came at the right time?” I tease her, earning a dramatic eye roll. “What are you hoping to accomplish?”

“I want to fix the dock and add a boat ramp.” She’s damn cute, jutting out her bottom lip in a small pout.

“Lofty goals.” I nod with my eyebrows high. “I would be happy to lend a hand making those happen after the weekend, but right now I have a truck full of supplies to get home, and no one manning the lodge. We’d need the right tools to do the job right, anyway.”

“Hmmm,” she hums, pressing her lips together as she wades toward shore. I reach out for her hand and pull her all the way up the steep embankment. My other hand grabs for her hip to steady her when she threatens to stumble back, but all it does is change her momentum forward, and her dripping body lands squarely against my front. I back us up and don’t let go of her until we’re on level ground, at which point she takes a step back, taking stock of my soaked clothes. She slaps her hand over her mouth but not fast enough to stifle the laugh that gurgles up. I fucking love the sound of it and grin down on her when she raises her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbles behind her hand, not even close to successful in covering her hilarity. “Let me get some towels.” Before I have a chance to tell her it’ll probably dry just as fast to the warm air, she shoves her feet in a pair of discarded flip-flops and jogs off.

Now—I noticed that ripe ass maybe once or twice before, but there’s no way in hell I miss it shimmying off between the trees toward the house. If I were any younger, I’d file that away in my spank bank, but... Screw that—it’s filed.

I amble after her, and catch up when she comes barrelling out of the house, a futile hand towel in her hands. She immediately starts rubbing it over my chest and since that’s not helping me at all, I stop her motions by pressing her hand against me.

“It’ll dry,” I promise her when she sputters in protest. “By the time I get to the lodge, I’ll be fine. You’re in worse shape than I am,” I point out to her, indicating the shirt and cargo pants clinging wetly to her curves. She looks down at herself, turning a pretty shade of pink. “And I do seem to be making it a habit to catch you wet.”

I fucking swear no innuendo was intended, but when her head pops up, eyes wide and mouth half-open, I realize how it must’ve sounded. What surprises me is the deep raw belly laugh that bursts out of her.

“You have no idea,” she mumbles, when she finally straightens up and wipes the laughter off her face. At least that’s what I think she said.

Temptation plagues me all the way home.