“My brother’s having a few people over tonight since my sister’s in town.” I can’t quite get a gauge on Brian’s mood. He’s never been easy to read, exactly, but ever since we met up with his sister, he’s a damn enigma. We’re sitting on my couch in front of the television. Sitting is sort of a loose term. I’m sitting, and Brian’s laying across the couch with his head cradled against my lap. He’s facing the television as I stroke his hair.
“Okay,” I say lightly, hoping he’ll give me some insight into his frame of mine. “Sounds fun.”
He clears his throat. “I was thinking of not going, of having a night here, just you and me and a bottle of wine.”
Heavy disappointment settles into the pit of my stomach, but I mask it. “That’s fine. Whatever you want.” What I want to ask is why don’t you want to introduce me to your brother? Why don’t you want me around your sister? What changed between us?
“I don’t want you to think it’s about you,” he says softly, as if he can read my thoughts.
“Think what’s about me?” I ask.
“It’s them. Him.”
“What’s him?”
Brian sighs. “My brother is one of my best friends. We’ve just always had this extremely competitive relationship.” He untangles himself from my lap and sits up. When his eyes meet mine, my heart twists at the vulnerability in his. I’ve never seen him like this. “He has this way of and wanting what’s mine, and he always gets what he wants.”
I press a palm to his cheek. “Brian, if you’re worried I’m going to run off with your brother, don’t be.” I keep my voice low and genuine. “I would love to meet your family, to learn more about you.”
He nods, fear replacing the vulnerability in his eyes.
“It doesn’t matter what he wants.”
“It doesn’t?” Brian asks.
I shake my head, my lips tipping up in a smile. “It doesn’t,” I confirm. “I don’t care how charming he is. I’m yours.”
“You’re mine,” he says softly. His eyes darken. “That’ll just make you more attractive to him.”
“Well you’re the brother I’m falling for.”
He blinks in surprise. “Falling for?”
I nod and brush it aside even though my cheeks burn in embarrassment. I can’t believe I let that slip out, no matter how true it is. “You don’t even know that he’ll try anything with me.”
He grunts out a laugh. “I know my brother. He’ll try, for sure.”
“How do you know?”
“You’re exactly his type.”
“And what type is that?”
“Sexy, brunette, smart. Legs for days. An ass that won’t quit.” He reaches over to grab one of my breasts. “And these. God, these.” He closes his eyes and I giggle. “He’ll want you, Reese, and I’m terrified he’ll go after you. I’m terrified you’ll want him, too, that you’ll leave me for him.” He’s pleading with me, and it tears a little piece of my heart. I wish he would let me in and tell me what’s happened between them in the past, but I don’t want to press more information out of him when clearly this is difficult for him. All I can do is assure him where my allegiance lies.
“I won’t,” I say, my voice fiercely adamant.
“Promise?” he asks.
I take his hand and loop my pinky finger around his. “Promise.” He takes me to the bedroom then and we seal our promise with much more than just our pinkies.
* * *
“Becker said there’s some big surprise tonight,” Jill says as we get ready for the big party. I’m working on my make-up while she curls her hair. We’re both still in our bathrobes and sipping occasionally from glasses of wine.
“I’m a little nervous,” I admit.
“Why?”
I shrug. “Brian was weird about me meeting his brother. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you last night, but we ran into his sister right before the event, and he kept shooting her weird looks.”
“What kind of looks?”
I brush some blush on my cheeks. “Like shut up kind of looks. Like he was silently telling her not to say anything.”
Jill’s brows draw together. “I wonder why.”
“We might find out tonight. Don’t you think it’s strange that neither of us has been to their house even though we’ve been seeing them for over a month?”
Jill shrugs. “Beck told me it’s crowded and loud all the time. He said it’s nice to come here and just relax.”
“Did you know they were all staying with Brian’s brother?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. He told me he was staying with Fox and Jason, but he didn’t mention the brother.”
“So weird. I wonder why it’s all so hush-hush.”
“Boys are just weird sometimes, you know?”
I nod and roll my eyes. “Ain’t that the truth?”
I’ve got a nice buzz going from the wine when Brian and Becker pick us up. Brian seems a little distracted and out of sorts as I sit up front with him while Becker and Jill talk quietly in the backseat.
Brian signals off the highway then maneuvers the car onto the Strip, which strikes me as very odd. I had no idea they lived in the heart of the action.
Traffic is slow, and all the red lights and honking horns do nothing good for the anxiety I feel as the car carries us closer to our final destination—wherever that may be. I get the sudden feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is a bad idea. If Brian wants to keep me away from his brother, he has his reasons, and I should respect those reasons.
He turns into the Mandarin Oriental. Anxiety presses heavily on me as my mouth goes dry.
I’m not ready to be here again. The Cosmopolitan was a little close for comfort a few weeks ago, and the Aria last night reminded me of that night again, but to be back here again with a different man…it’s too much.
I had no idea Brian was living at the Mandarin, but now that we’re pulling into the valet station, it makes a whole lot of sense. That morning I left Mark’s place and ran right into Brian and he helped me pick up all the shit that fell out of my purse...of course this is where he’s living. I was stupid not to make that connection before.
I take a deep breath and hold it in for a five count. I need Jill beside me because she’s the only one who might possibly understand what this means—being back here. It’s been well over a month, but that night still haunts me, and as I look around me at things I’ve seen before, flashes of Mark and our night together ghost through my mind. All the images that’ve been burned into my memories start attacking my brain from different angles. The feel of his lips against mine, his fingertips dragging up my thigh. The taste of his peppermint breath and the smell of his sandalwood skin. The view of the Strip and the view of him stripping. His velvet voice in my ear.
Brian gets out of the car and walks around to my side. He opens it and holds out his hand. I’m trembling as I slip my hand into his, scared to go into the building that holds so many painful memories that all trickle back to one unforgettable night.
Becker and Jill get out of the backseat and join us. Jill’s wide eyes meet mine, and she reaches for my hand and squeezes it in silent reassurance. Tears spring to my eyes, but I won’t let them fall. I can’t. I’m here with Brian, to meet his brother, to make new memories—as desperate to wash away the old ones as I am to cling to them.
We walk through the doors toward the elevator, and it’s all very familiar as the ball of anxiety in my stomach feels like it may burst. Brian pushes the button to call the elevator. We get on the same car I traveled down that morning I left Mark’s place, and the haunting memories are right at the surface, filling the back of my throat with nausea. That same feeling of giddiness mixed with shame the last time I rode this exact elevator rushes over me.
The hotel only goes up through the twenty-third floor. When I got on the same elevator car with Mark, he pressed the button for the forty-seventh floor. The top floor. The penthouse. He told me there were other suites up there, too, and when we exited the elevator, we turned to the right and entered the door in the corner, the one marked 4701.
I assume Brian will press any button from twenty-four through forty-six. Never once does the idea enter my mind that he might hit forty-seven, and when he does, a searing pain squeezes my chest. I don’t want to be so affected by this—I don’t want to hold that connection between Mark and me so close to my heart still, not after all this time has passed, not after I’ve started a relationship with another man, not after I’ve started falling for another man.
But I do.
I take a deep breath, pushing away the images of Mark slamming me up against the mirrored elevator wall, shoving down the feel of his mouth on mine, our breath mingling and our bodies craving.
When we get off the elevator, I assume we’ll turn to the left. It’s the only option. When we turn to the right and Brian leads me to the door marked 4701—the same door I walked through just over a month ago, my heart stops. My ears buzz. My chest hurts. My stomach lurches.
It’s not possible.
“Your brother lives here?” I ask, my voice trembling. I sense that Jill is somewhere behind me, but she can’t have any inkling of what’s going on in my head.
“Yeah,” Brian says as he turns the knob and pushes open the door. He might’ve nodded to answer my question, I’m not sure—I can’t bear to look at him, can’t bear for him to see all the emotions my eyes surely hold, can’t bear the thought of going through the door and facing what—who—is on the other side. Instead, I focus my eyes on the door, trying everything in my power to forget, to let it go, to push one leg in front of the other and act like everything’s normal.
But it’s not.
I fell in love with a rock star the last time I was here. How the hell was I supposed to know I’d fall in love with his brother next?