Chapter Twelve

· hilary ·

It was a sweltering few weeks, but they passed quickly. It helped to stay busy. With Grace’s training, I was now equipped to take on the small, daily issues of property management. When I wasn’t working on that, I focused on my blog, writing about all things Texas. I even applied for a few jobs. I was picky about which ones I submitted applications to, but my college days were numbered, and being a student was too easy an option. I needed more.

Renee and I had met up several times for coffee and dinner. She was proving to be a good friend; however, I had yet to inform her that Evan was my brother. I was selective with that information. Ben and I had several friendly encounters, but he had yet to ask me out. I was going to have to take matters into my own hands if I wanted that to change. Most guys required coaxing. Pathetic, really, but something I was used to.

My brother tried introducing me to several “nice guys” on the set of his film, which was strange since he was so weird about me dating. I didn’t feel any chemistry with those actor types, though. Perhaps dating wasn’t about having that spark. Zach did his best to avoid me and the damn fireworks between us. That was evident as he walked into the living room, chatting on his headset with authoritative command early in the morning. I barely ever saw him.

“No, I told you, he needs two bedrooms, two baths. The photos you sent me don’t match the ones on the website. The deal is off.” He tipped his head at me, giving a slight gesture of hello as he marched into the kitchen. His laptop sat on the bar, and he pressed the button letting it boot up as he opened the fridge.

The smell of spicy man soap hung in the air. Zach’s hair was damp. He had just showered, having come home from the gym. I had a general idea of the schedule he kept by now, even if he hadn’t gone over it with me.

I sat with another script in my hand. Most days, I had time to read when I wasn’t exploring the city, but I was beginning to miss my routine back home. I was lonely and told myself to get over it, but that wasn’t helping. Something was missing, and I wasn’t sure what.

Zach continued to argue with who I assumed was the next landlord Evan would deal with in Atlanta. “I’m going with the other location. They offered a better deal. Thank you.” He hung up the phone and instantly took another call. “Yes?” He twisted the cap of a protein drink and guzzled. “Mike, I told you—”

I could hear faint arguing on the other end. Zach froze, the drink lifted midway to his mouth. “He said he wasn’t interested.” He paused. “But why would he tell me that and then tell you something different?”

He strolled to his laptop and began typing. He brought up a planner of some sort. “He said he didn’t want to and now he’s… No, he doesn’t have anything else scheduled after the film’s completed.”

His fingers flew over the keyboard, and I got up from the couch to find something to eat. I grabbed a foil packet of Pop-Tarts and unwrapped it, placing the pair in the toaster.

“No, I haven’t read that one. I’ll get to it and tell him.” He stepped back and ran his hand through his hair. Bags were evident under his eyes, and he appeared fatigued. “Yes, I’m behind, but I’ll let him know.”

He pulled the headset off and threw it on the bar. I stared at him as he bowed his head, taking deep breaths in and then exhaling. He muttered something under his breath and was definitely on edge.

“I read Breaking the Light,” I said quietly. Zach straightened up and waited. “It was good, but not Evan’s style. He won’t like it.” Zach was attentive to what I had to say, yet his stubborn nature was setting in, and he didn’t want to ask more, so I talked.

“I also read Somerset Sunset, Road to Glory, Dirty Killers and Towering Empire. None of them are worthy enough to take.” The toaster popped, and my strawberry pastries emerged. “You can tell Mike and Evan that if you need to.”

I grabbed my food, setting the sugary goodness on a napkin. Zach stared at me, and I waited, saying nothing else. The air around us sizzled, my insides tingled, and the push and pull between us drove me mad. It was everything I wanted with someone, yet it wasn’t what I should want. He was trying to behave, and so was I.

He finally broke the silence as he pointed to my food. “Wanna go out for a real breakfast?”

I looked at my favorite meal for a second, then dropped the Pop-Tarts on the counter. “Yes, please.”

Half an hour later, we were sitting at Walton’s Fancy and Staple, a brick-walled deli, bakery, and flower shop. We sat in a corner of the rustic-chic restaurant and awaited our fresh breakfast. I took a sip of my black coffee while Zach drank his Americano.

“This place is nice,” I said, taking in my surroundings.

He pressed his lips together in a straight line. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, Hilary. I’ve been swept up in work.”

I tugged on a piece of bread and popped it into my mouth. “Don’t worry about it, Zach. It’s a little lonesome sometimes, but I’ve kept myself entertained. I even visited the UT campus. I’m applying for my doctorate.”

“In Austin?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You want to move here?”

“It’s not the only place I applied,” I said, buttering another piece of bread. “I submitted applications in Boston, too, but I want to get a work-study job. I need the money to pay for school, after all.”

“You know Evan will provide.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to depend on my brother for everything. You know that.” Evan had given me tuition for my first degree. After that, I wouldn’t accept any more of his money. I got loans, despite Evan’s protests, but he did give me his old condo in Boston when he upgraded to a nicer location. “You still haven’t touched that trust fund from your parents, right?”

Zach winced. “I’ll never touch that shit. I don’t care how much they put aside for me.”

“It’s in the millions, right?” I asked. “I can take it off your hands, you know.” He laughed as I joked. “You should blow off working for my brother to go relax in the Turks and Caicos.”

“Now there’s a nice thought. Me, you, on the beach…”

“Both of us half naked, baking in the hot sun.” I leaned forward, my forearms resting on the table. His eyes were on my chest, and I followed them down, noticing how low my top had gone. I smiled and looked at him. “Like what you see?” He turned his head away, a flush covering his face. I teased him to lighten the mood. “Busted.”

“I could lie and say I wasn’t thinking things…” He paused, his green eyes twinkling. “But I was thinking things. All types of naughty things.”

I crossed my arms under my breasts, pushing them up. “You can look all you want, Collins.”

He copied my movement, crossing his arms over his chest. “But I won’t touch.”

I shrugged. “You did once before. I’m not saying it can’t happen again.”

“Temptress.” A small grin inched over his lips. The moment passed as a waiter set down our food. I was caught up in him as he fixed his eggs. The muscles in his forearms flexed as he moved. The large watch around his wrist accentuated how big his hands were. The tight, black shirt and crisp jeans would be sloppy on anyone else. Not on him. His scruff was growing out again, and his eyes were magnificently green. I was so crushing on him, and it wasn’t getting easier as time went on.

He snatched a slice of bacon from my plate and took a bite. “You gonna eat, kid?”

“Hey!” I slapped his hand, and he chuckled, throwing the rest of the slice back on my platter. “Never take a girl’s bacon. You should know better.”

“I’d only ever take yours.” He winked.

I tore into my staple breakfast of mile-high pancakes with butter and syrup gushing out the sides. “And the restaurant? When do I get to see it?”

“When it’s done.” He wiped his mouth on his napkin and took a sip of his drink. “Isabella’s got the menu down pat, and if I can get a bit more money, I may have a preview for you guys in a month.”

Isabella’s name popping up didn’t sit well with me. All those late nights spent in the kitchen, nobody around…it was a great way to pass the time and let off steam. He’d already slept with her before. Even though he’d told me it was just once, I had a difficult time believing they kept their hands off each other. Although we’d done pretty well—for the most part. “Ask my brother for more money.”

“He’s put in enough. I’m not asking for more from him. I’ll just take out another loan.” His phone rang, and he gave it a glance. “Mike. I’ll call him back.”

“If you need help with Evan’s stuff, I don’t mind doing it.”

He shook his head. “No, that’s my job. You shouldn’t even be reading his scripts for me. It’s not right.”

“You’re under a lot of pressure right now. And what job is my brother taking that you didn’t know about?”

He huffed. “A commercial shoot in Japan. He turned it down several times, so imagine my surprise when I found out he’s filming it as soon as this movie wraps. Arrangements have to be made. Flight, hotel. And I need to talk to the company about his schedule, his needs, and to make sure he has transportation.”

I was resolute. “Let me handle it.”

“I’m his assistant. Not you,” he said. “This is my job.”

“Do you even like working for my brother?” I spit out. He stopped eating and refused to look at me. “You left your career over ten years ago to work for him when he asked. You were top of your game, the youngest successful financial advisor ever. You went to Harvard, Zach.”

“I don’t want to talk about this, Hilary.” His voice was strained.

“Why do I have a feeling you put your life on the back burner for Evan?” He’d been so closed off to me, to everyone, for so long. Did he even know how to open up? He didn’t like vulnerability, and any hint of it made him pull away. “The restaurant is what you should be focusing on. He can hire someone else. I can take over for you while you make this dream happen.”

He thrust his plate away, rested his forearms on the table, and zoomed in on me. “And tell me, kid. Why are you still in school? What’s been stopping you from going out there and getting a job? A real job, not this full-time school thing, or this lifestyle blog of yours, or even an assistant job for your brother. What do you want, Hilary?”

I inhaled, holding my breath. He was deflecting, turning his problems on me. I was under the microscope, and he was off the hook. “I wanted Graham. I wanted a family…”

He shook his head, a smirk curling on his lips. “That’s bullshit. You knew he wasn’t the guy for you.”

Tears crept up, and I brushed them aside. “I thought he was.”

“That’s not why you keep going to school. You have a Bachelor’s degree in Photography and Graphic Design, and a Master’s in English. You said last year you’d go into Microbiology. Now you want to get your doctorate? What for? I know you don’t want to be a professor.” I sat frozen in my seat, unable to meet his gaze. “You haven’t taken photos in years—your camera’s broken, and you never replaced it. Instead, you drown yourself in movies and scripts and your blog. What do you love to do for you?”

He was being cruel, ramming it home in a way I hadn’t expected. Putting me on the spot; bringing up Graham the way he had, in a public place, left my head spinning. I threw my napkin down on the table and got up. “I wanna leave now.”

Maybe I was wrong about Zach, and he’d been right all along. Maybe he wasn’t the good man I made him out to be.

ZACH AND I didn’t talk on the way home. He left for work and took the scripts that were splayed around the living room. I tried to escape what he’d said at breakfast as I lay out by the swimming pool. A dip in the water would cool down my overly charged body. Zach never failed to drive me insane. His assumption about Graham wasn’t far off, but I had thought we’d get married at one point. Graham and I had discussed it—a house and kids. Whether I’d truly wanted it was different. Zach knew deep down what I didn’t allow myself to admit. Graham wasn’t my guy.

The broken Nikon stashed in my childhood room had called to me many times. I loved taking photos, but I got caught up in the idea of love. For years, my goal was making Graham happy instead of taking care of myself. Photographs became a thing of the past, and my hobbies got buried with everyday life. We were together for so long, and I was so focused on him that I lost myself.

With a clear mind, I was set. I would invest in me, get a new camera, and pick up the pieces of the life I’d forgotten.

“How’s my favorite landlady?” Ben broke me from my deep thoughts as he approached and sat beside me. His company was welcome.

“Landlady sounds like an old woman dressed in a muumuu carrying around a Pomeranian.”

“Small dogs creep me out.” His voice was like easy-spread butter—soft, creamy, and delicious. That accent could make women fall to their knees.

“I knew I liked you for a reason.” I smiled. Flirting never hurt, especially with how gorgeous he was. He peeled off his shirt and began applying sunscreen. I couldn’t help but watch. Maybe I’d get him to lather my back—it’d be a perfect excuse for his hands to run all over my body.

“How’s the new job coming along for you, my favorite property manager?”

“That sounds better,” I said, chuckling. “It’s okay,” I mumbled, shutting the book I had stolen from Zach’s room. It was something boring about science, faith, and purpose on Earth, but he didn’t have much of a selection. I’d need an excursion to the bookstore, or have a go at Grace’s bookshelves.

“Oh? Just okay.”

“Yeah, there’s not much to do.” I turned my body his way and bit my lip just enough to intrigue him. “I’m trying to find ways to occupy my time.”

“I can think of some.” He winked. His flirting should’ve made my insides tingle, but it didn’t. Not like when Zach looked at my breasts and made a comment or the way he stared at my legs and gave a small grunt under his breath. Something was wrong with me. I was fantasizing about Zach when a Hollywood hunk was half naked a foot away.

I changed the subject. “I saw your cameo.”

He gave a half-crooked smile. Swoon-worthy, mega hunk. No wonder Renee had a crush. “Yeah? I told Madison Strahan that next time I’d be her leading man.”

“You’ll get there.”

“I just landed a superhero role.” His aqua eyes lit up at the news, and I could tell he was bursting to share. “I can’t reveal much, but it’s huge.”

“Congratulations! That’s amazing,” I said. “Maybe we can do an exclusive interview on my blog.” I wiggled my brows.

He laughed. “That’d be great. I’ll ask my agent. It’ll be announced later this month, so I’m enjoying the anonymity I have while I have it.” He was sincere, although he wanted the fame. I didn’t judge. Most actors longed to be prominent. My brother was one of those weirdos that liked the art more than the recognition.

“We should celebrate. How about we hit up that ramen place you were telling me about last time?” The last date I’d been on was with Danny DeMarco. I needed to prove to myself that I was changing. I also needed someone who could outshine Zach in the bedroom. That experience was scorched into my brain, and a man like Ben was sure to wipe it out.

“Sure. Let’s go tonight.” He winked then put on his aviators before leaning back and looking delectable.

I was on my way to becoming the person I had left behind—this time older, wiser, and more knowledgeable than before.