Chapter Thirteen
Tamara pulled her borrowed truck into the parking spot outside the community center, taking a deep breath before offering the girls a smile. “Okay. Who’s ready for a birthday party?”
“Us, us, us,” Sasha declared loudly enough for a dozen little girls as they escaped the cab, tumbling out like clowns from a stunt car at the circus.
Brightly wrapped packages in hand, they led the way with so much enthusiasm Tamara caught herself grinning. Oh, for youthful resilience. Any tears from earlier disappointments were gone, and their anxiety and distrust was easing day by day.
Or at least moment by moment. Sasha hadn’t completely let up her guard, but she was too excited to stay on point one hundred percent of the time. Emma was…Emma. Quietly watching and assessing, and so far, she seemed to be weighing in favour of Tamara.
Tamara, on the other hand, was nearly as confused and conflicted as she’d been the first week, and no simple solution would make her particular issues go away.
Caleb Stone was driving her mad.
He also made her mad, for far different reasons. He was a faulty furnace. Damn intriguing—steaming, blisteringly attractive, and she’d sternly warned herself that whatever animal magnetism she imagined between them was all in her mind because if it were real, the house might spontaneously go up in flames.
Yet for every time she thought she caught him undressing her with his gaze, he’d just as often turned as chilly as a January cold snap.
It was like living with the physical embodiment of the Chinook wind. Unseasonably hot followed by icy blasts.
But the worst thing about him? He was a truly shitty fighter. Seriously—she loved a good debate, and wrestling down details to figure out what was important was part of the fun in her books. Didn’t matter if it was something big, like the chores, or something small like favourite meals, she wanted to discuss it.
Anytime they came head to head on an issue, though, Caleb had the same response. He’d walk away, leaving her talking to an empty room.
“Damn annoying,” she muttered.
He’d probably figured out how much she hated it and was now doing it on purpose. A fight she won because the other person refused to…well, fight…was a hollow victory.
Enough dillydallying. Today was not about the maddening man, although she had to admit he’d arranged a very nice temporary vehicle for her to drive while Brooke worked on her truck. The repair parts had taken longer than expected to arrive—typical small town trouble—and Tamara would have hated to be stuck without a vehicle the entire time.
Tamara caught up with the girls in time to guide them toward the table where other gifts had been placed. Children were running wild around and over the play equipment scattered in the open space of the gym.
This kind of birthday party she could approve of. Nothing over the top—no rented bouncy house or one-upmanship. She walked forward with a slightly more optimistic spirit, even though Kelli’s warning lingered.
Some of the moms gathered near the snack table extended smiles, one face more familiar than the rest. The day she’d gone into Emma’s class to help, Hanna had been there as well. Tamara had enjoyed working alongside the quiet woman.
Hanna waved happily. “Good to see you again.”
Tamara returned her greeting with an enthusiastic smile, slipping into the empty chair beside her. A quick round of hellos and introductions followed before the conversations reverted to child wrangling and coordinating the partygoers for small bursts of games.
Over the next hour Tamara kept a close eye on Sasha and Emma, making sure they minded their manners but had a good time. Sasha stayed near her sister, which didn’t surprise Tamara much.
Once the birthday cake and presents had been dispensed with, the kids were back to unorganized fun until the party time was over. Tamara caught Sasha all but mesmerized by one of the games the bigger girls had started on their own. She snuck over, catching hold of Sasha’s shoulder for a moment as she knelt to speak privately to them.
“I thought I’d take Emma to the colouring table. If you’re okay on your own for a bit.”
Sasha glanced at her sister before shaking her head. “I don’t mind staying with Emma.”
This time it was Emma who made it clear she had other ideas. She leaned in and whispered something to Sasha.
Sasha frowned. “You sure?”
The little girl nodded then slipped her fingers into Tamara’s.
Still Sasha hesitated, glancing at Tamara with a warning expression. She waited as if ready to return to her position as guard dog the next moment.
Emma rolled her eyes and propped her free hand on her hips.
It was the final nudge Sasha needed. She nodded, joining the crowd of jumping and bumping older girls.
Tamara gave Emma’s fingers a squeeze. “There’s a big girl. Your sister will be back in a bit. She’ll be happy, and so will we. I peeked through the colouring books earlier, and saw a book with a picture of a goat, if you can believe that. Want to track it down?”
Emma’s smile widened.
As an added bonus, Hanna was at the small table with her daughter, and the two girls sat next to each other like little puppies, content to use the coloured pencils and work side by side in silence.
“Crissy talks about Emma all the time,” Hanna admitted quietly. “I think some of the noisier girls in their class scare her, so she and Emma buddy up a lot.”
“They look as if they get along well,” Tamara agreed. “You guys want to come out to the ranch sometime for a playdate?”
“Crissy would love that.” Hanna smiled sweetly. “Honestly, so would I. It’s been a long time since I got to wander a ranch.”
After double-checking to be sure Hanna would keep an eye on both girls, Tamara snuck away to the washroom.
She paused as she exited the room to take a slow look over the gathering. Voices sounded in her ear, loud enough to make her jump, and she spun, turning back in surprise when no one stood anywhere nearby.
It took a moment before she realized where she stood formed a perfect sound tunnel. With the gymnastics equipment stored along the side wall, the very intense discussion being held half a gym away was being magically carried all the way to Tamara’s ears as if she were sitting in their midst.
The longer she listened, the tighter the knot in her belly became. Because three of the moms Tamara had just briefly met were talking about Caleb.
Caleb, and the girls.
Her feet were frozen to the ground as she stood and listened.
“Maybe now that fine man will get out more,” offered Carrie, mother of the birthday girl.
“He gets out plenty. He needs to spend more time in.” Natalie winked lewdly.
The third woman, Joleen, leaned over and slapped her on the leg. “You are so bad.”
“But I bet he’s good, if you know what I mean. Knows what he likes—that’s sexy in a man.” The three women exchanged glances. “Wendy always was a complainer. I don’t think anything she bitched about was real.”
“Especially considering the way she took off. I’d have no trouble with that man being demanding in bed.”
“You wish your husband would do something other than missionary,” the friend teased.
“I’m not complaining about my situation. I’m thinking of that underappreciated hunk of manhood. Now that he’s got the nanny, maybe he’ll come back on the market. Lord knows my sister could use a strong, sexy rancher.”
“If the nanny is good enough to stick around. Poor things, especially that littlest one.”
“She’s not quite right in the head, is she?”
Tamara’s spine straightened with a violent snap. What the hell? There was nothing wrong with Emma.
“They need someone who’s going to take care of them.”
“My sister loves kids.”
The other two women laughed at the same time. “Your sister likes money, and sexy men,” Joleen pointed out. “Your sister would keep the nanny if she could, and focus on spending time with a certain sexy rancher.”
“Wouldn’t we all?”
“Wouldn’t you do just about anything to put a smile on that man’s face? I imagine once he makes a move, you’d spend the rest of the night with every muscle in your body screaming for more.”
“Tell your sister to drop by Silver Stone one evening. I bet Caleb would be happy to see a friendly female face,” Joleen insisted. “It’s been a long time since he had a good time with a woman.”
“Unless he’s getting some when he’s gone on business,” Natalie said.
Carrie shook her head. “I doubt that. Besides, he’s rarely the one who leaves the ranch. You know, he’s kind of like your prize stud bull. Give him a comfortable, well-fenced area. Feed him and keep him happy so he’ll be at his peak performance anytime he’s needed.”
“Amen. That’s definitely what my sister needs—”
There was more, because the women were still laughing, but Tamara couldn’t hear them because she was marching across the floor, feet propelled by anger.
Oh, she had her issues with the man, but to hell with other people talking about him as if he was a stud for hire. And Emma—
Tamara took a deep breath and slowed her step, casually making her way to where the ladies were chatting madly. She pretended her goal was the lemonade, smiling as sweetly as she could at the group.
The laughter hushed as she’d approached, all three offering exaggeratedly friendly faces.
“Are you enjoying yourself at Silver Stone?” Joleen asked.
It was tempting to respond with something snappy and rude, but Tamara held herself in check. She did have to live in this town, and in spite of these being some of the noxious weeds she had to deal with, there was no use in burning everything the first time they faced off. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s a big place to have to take care of.” Carrie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You must be exhausted.”
Okay, she hadn’t expected that. “Why?”
The woman blinked. “It’s a lot of work to take on two little girls when you haven’t done that before. And the house, and taking care of Caleb.”
Tamara laughed. “Oh well, there’s one of your mistakes. Caleb doesn’t need to be taken care of.”
“But it must be tough dealing with Emma.”
Her banked fury escaped a little around the edges, but she pulled it back to a reasonable volume and attitude. “Emma? That sweet little thing? Well, in a way you’re right, because between her and her sister I have to stay on my toes. They’re so smart I’m working overtime to make sure their environment is challenging. No use letting all that potential go to waste.”
The women’s mouths opened and shut in a lovely fish imitation, as if she’d caught them off guard.
Tamara pressed her advantage. “And in terms of Caleb, I suggest you not worry about him. The man is more than capable of looking after himself and his…needs. I doubt there’s a woman alive who could resist him.”
She finished pouring another couple glasses of lemonade, balancing all four precariously as she returned to the colouring table.
Hanna eyed her as she accepted two of the glasses. “What was that all about?” she asked in a soft tone.
“Just people being catty.”
Her new friend’s lips twitched. “That’s why they look as if you squirted them with a water bottle.”
Tamara snickered, turning toward Emma who had laid a hand on her shoulder even as Crissy crawled into her mom’s lap.
“Yes, sweetie?”
Emma held up her finished work proudly. The goat was accurately depicted in his debonair grey and white, with a bright red bow newly drawn on the page—the same one Emma had attached around the little creature’s neck the day before.
“Beautiful. That looks like Eeny.”
The little girl’s enthusiastic nod was a reward all in itself.
A moment later, Tamara found herself smiling even harder. Emma glanced at her friend in her mom’s lap then peeked over her shoulder to check where Sasha was. Discovering her sister was still hard at play with the older girls, Emma tugged Tamara’s arm out of the way and proceeded to crawl into her lap.
Emma picked up her glass of lemonade and drank it as if her seating arrangement was the most natural thing in the world.
Something not right with the child? Baloney. Emma was smart, just like Tamara had claimed. Whatever reason she had for not speaking it was a deliberate choice not a mental issue.
It was too easy to put an arm around her and cuddle her close, the sweet scent of little girl making Tamara feel all sorts of emotions she hadn’t expected.
She cared about the girls, no question about that. But something seemed—
Different.
The party was over, and the day came to a conclusion. Happily, two tired little girls headed to bed without any trouble, but Tamara was far too wound up to sleep. Caleb had gone back out to the barns immediately after dinner, leaving Tamara restless with nothing to distract her.
She wandered the house for a while before giving up. She might as well make some long-term plans.
She slipped into Caleb’s office to grab some paper—
One of the precarious stacks fell over.
“Dammit.”
Tamara bent to scoop them up, moving too quickly, and her butt nudged over another pile. Now she had twice the paper on the floor, and twice the frustration.
No getting around it now. She had to clean up the mess.
Tamara ended up on the floor, gathering the papers around her into piles. She avoided the details, peeking quickly to discover whether it was a bill or an invoice as she slowly created new stacks.
There was a kind of peacefulness in the task, though. In fact, when she had one corner of the room straightened, it was tempting to continue, but she decided a little trouble was all she was willing to borrow this time around.
If she had a chance, though, and Caleb approved, she’d be back. Finishing the task would be Zen-making to her brain.
For now, she lay the completed filing neatly on the top of the credenza she’d dusted while it had been empty.
She took one of the newly discovered sticky notes and left him a message.
Caleb.
I knocked over some of your paperwork, so I had to straighten up a bit. Sorry if I overstepped my boundaries.
T.
It wasn’t a great excuse, but maybe he wouldn’t mind.
Maybe he would…
Another rush of frustration hit. She was accomplishing good things in this nanny position job, but it—it wasn’t enough, and at the same time it was far, far too much.
Not the work, but all the other sensations that struck out of the blue. The sweet moments when Sasha forgot to be aggressive. The heart-rending touch every time Emma treated her as if she belonged.
The confusing-in-every-way-possible moments with Caleb. Sensual tension and laughter and body-aching need and mind-tangling frustration.
Too many longings tugged Tamara in new directions, and she wasn’t ready to look them square in the eye, and that alone was the most frightening fact she’d faced.
More than losing her job. More than leaving what had been her home for nearly thirty years.
She didn’t want to admit, even to herself, what she had begun to long for…
Tamara ran from her own thoughts, escaping into the kitchen to mindlessly scrub the already clean countertop until it was late enough she too could take herself off and fall into a restless sleep.
Caleb struggled with the bolt he was trying to remove, swearing as the wrench slipped from his fingers for the twentieth time. Dustin was helping brace the gate, and the wrench bounced off his arm and slammed back into Caleb’s knuckles as it fell.
A rush of pain chastened him for being distracted. Maybe it was punishment for avoiding his office for a week, choosing instead to torment himself by sitting on the veranda each morning with Tamara in the quiet time before she’d rise to finish getting breakfast ready.
It was peaceful and relaxing, but tempting, which set him into feeling guilty and now, distracted. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself from making the same stupid mistake. He was stuck on repeat.
When something hit him in the side of the head not even two seconds later, Caleb was sure the world was trying to make a point. What exactly, he wasn’t sure.
“Now I understand why you were all growly.” Josiah marched up and slapped Caleb on the back. “Why you didn’t you just say something?”
Caleb stared at him in confusion. “What the hell are you going on about?”
Josiah snickered. “Don’t think you can keep things secret in a small town like this. I’m surprised it stayed undercover this long, and yes, that was a dig.”
Dustin glanced between Josiah and Caleb. “What’s he talking about?”
“No idea.”
“Oh, come on now. Don’t play the innocent. I know about you and Tamara.”
His youngest brother looked shocked. “Are you and Tamara…?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Caleb and Josiah spoke at the same time,
Caleb glared at his friend, narrowing his eyes. “Who the hell is telling you bullshit stories? There’s nothing between me and Tamara.”
At least a whole hell of a lot less than he wished was going on.
Josiah leaned back and folded in his arms over his chest. “That’s not what I heard. I was at the Sinclairs’, and word is you’re taken. So’s she, and considering how growly you’ve been the last while, it all kind of made sense.”
“I don’t think you and Tamara should be fooling around,” Dustin piped up.
“We’re not fooling around,” Caleb snapped. “It’s just damn small-town rumour. I’m surprised, Josiah. You know better than to listen to gossip and take it as gospel truth.”
“Hey, let’s just say I was hopeful.” His grin widened. “But if it’s gossip, then she’s not taken, which means I can ask her out, right?”
Caleb wasn’t about to rip his best friend apart, but the urge was there.
The urge was damn strong.
Instead he shrugged. “Don’t know that she’s got a lot of time to be off gallivanting at the moment, so maybe you should put that on hold for a while.”
Josiah’s knowing look was enough to send Caleb scrambling to find something for them to do that would be enough of a distraction.
They got into a task, and between the happily finicky labour and Ashton joining them, there was plenty enough work to change the topic to safer ventures, but word of the gossip nagged him.
Small-town rumour was a thing, but even that usually had some kind of a starting point. He was still stewing over it when Josiah was getting ready to leave.
Caleb jogged up and knocked on his truck door.
The window rolled down and Josiah rested his elbow on the sill. “I’ll send out one of the staff to finish the vaccinations, if that’s okay with you. I’ve got a couple of things I need to complete before the office closes.”
Caleb waved it off. “Not a problem.” He eyed his friend. “You mind telling me exactly who said what about me and Tamara? It’s the kind of thing I don’t want getting back to the girls without having an idea of what to tell them.”
Josiah’s lips twitched but he kept his expression under control. “A few days back Tamara was at some event with the girls and claimed you were well satisfied, if you know what I mean. And no, I’m not talking about her abilities as a nanny. People figure your bed is plenty warm these nights.”
A swear escaped.
That was the last thing he needed—actual encouragement straight from the horse’s mouth. And it was encouragement, of the roughest kind.
The images crowding his brain were as dirty as all get out. Tamara warming his bed? Exactly the dreams waking him in the middle of the night. The ones where he’d find himself with the sheets kicked off, body covered in sweat. Fingers wrapped around himself before he realized what he was doing.
He dipped his head. “Appreciate it.”
Josiah paused. “I was teasing you earlier, but you know, maybe the two of you getting involved wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
Caleb couldn’t believe his ears. “She works for me. What part of that is a good idea?”
His friend wavered but still forged ahead. “Right, that does make things difficult, and yet it’s not the working-for-you bit I was thinking about. You’ve been alone for a while.”
“There’s a reason for that.”
“Not all women are like Wendy.”
“Thank God, or the human race would have died out years ago.”
A snort escaped Josiah. “Okay, looking at this from a different angle. You realize Tamara grew up on a ranch? She knows how much work it is, and hey, look. She hasn’t run screaming yet.”
“She’s here to take care of the girls.”
His friend nodded. “And from everything you’ve told me, she’s doing a great job at that.” Josiah looked him over. “So why is it not a good thing for you to act on how hot she makes you?”
“She doesn’t…” Caleb couldn’t bring himself to lie. Not to his best friend.
“Thank you for not continuing that bullshit. But seriously, I know it’s not the easiest of situations, but you’ve got an opportunity here—”
“Thanks for coming out this morning. Talk to you later.”
He turned and walked away.
That Josiah recognized his attraction to Tamara wasn’t a good thing. Especially in light of the fact that the rumour mill would now be going wild.
My God, what if the girls heard? What if they thought their world was about to be flipped upside down all over again? Their memories of Wendy were bitter and hurtful.
This was his own damn fault for not being stronger. It should have been crystal clear from the first moment he wasn’t interested in Tamara except on a business level.
But it was Tamara’s fault too, for speaking out of turn, and right then he was angry enough to march into the kitchen and shout at her. Of course, that would cause all sorts of other problems.
No, this had to be dealt with in a big enough way to make an impression on the hardheaded woman. Something private enough he could get through to her exactly what she’d done.
It was strange. All the times he and Wendy had fought left him aching and angry, but never hot like this. Those fights have been icy-cold, polite and sterile.
What burned in his belly now was red-hot, laced with sexual tension.
It might not be right, but for once in his life he didn’t care if he was doing the right thing. The way to prove his point without a shadow of a doubt was simple, and perfect. Terrible and yet wonderfully justified.
He couldn’t wait. She wasn’t going to know what hit her.