Chapter Six
Caleb had intended to be home when the girls got off the bus, but he’d arrived a couple minutes late, which meant he walked into the house in time to hear Sasha burst into tears.
He knew his daughter well enough to recognize the sound as crocodile tears and nothing more serious, but there was still that initial sense of utter failure.
This wasn’t what he wanted for them. With all the changes over the past two months—and hell, the years before—their little worlds were out of control. Having to deal with the unknown was tough at his age, let alone theirs.
He stopped in the hallway, peeking into the kitchen without showing himself. In the first two-second glimpse he caught the emotions sliding over Tamara’s face. Sadness, confusion—he got that one. Sasha was not an easy person to deal with. The only thing he didn’t see was frustration, so he hung back and waited another moment.
Tamara placed both hands on the island, talking a deep breath as she observed Sasha with that hint of sadness in her eyes. Glancing at Emma she offered a sympathetic headshake, but she didn’t try to go over and hug Sasha or anything.
Then she ignored Sasha and moved to Emma’s side.
“One message about a field trip. I’ll put it on the calendar.” Tamara placed the open homework book in front of his younger daughter. “Oh lovely—spelling words.”
Emma stuck out her tongue.
Tamara chuckled and patted Emma on the shoulder. “Yeah, me too, kiddo. But if you’re going to write notes, you’d better be able to spell. How about you start? We’ll give Sasha another minute.”
Caleb leaned against the hallway wall and watched as Tamara worked on something at the stove, coming back every now and then to check on Emma. Throughout it all, Sasha continued to cry, big, dramatic gasps worthy of an Academy award. Softer, then louder again when she realized she wasn’t getting any attention.
Tamara disregarded the performance other than to grab a box of tissues off the side counter and plop it next to Sasha’s elbow.
By this time Emma was giving her sister the evil eye, but she also ignored the caterwauling with incredible patience.
They were more tolerant than him. Caleb’s nerve endings were raw from the shrieking. He stepped forward and cleared his throat, making sure he was loud enough to give a warning before he walked into the room.
Tamara spotted him, and between her jerk of surprise and his noisemaking, it was enough Sasha glanced over her shoulder—
Miracle of miracles, the tears shut off as if she’d turned a valve. She grabbed a handful of tissues as she hurriedly reached for her backpack and began pulling things from it, all the time keeping her face turned away.
Tamara watched warily, but Emma slipped off her chair and ran to greet him like usual, stopping inches away before wrinkling her nose then for emphasis, pinching it closed.
“Yes, button, I’ve been doing stinky things, and I’m not done work for the day. I just thought I would stop in and say hello.” He glanced at the island. “Are those cookies? I might have to steal a couple.”
Emma kissed her fingertips then pressed them against his lips before running to the counter and climbing up to grab a glass.
She held it out to him.
“I’d love some milk. How do you eat cookies without a glass of milk?”
“Cookies without milk are illegal,” Tamara agreed. “Sasha, would you please pour for your daddy?”
Sasha got off her stool quickly, grabbing the milk from the fridge and going to work to fill the glass Emma left on the counter. She paused to get rid of her tissues before turning to him, all evidence of her tears wiped clean and a beautiful smile in place. “We’re having a snack before doing our homework.”
Caleb nodded. “I see. Sounds like a great plan. And yum. Cookies—not something we get every day.”
Emma apparently approved as she had two clutched in one fist and a pencil in the other. She’d pulled out a piece of paper and was drawing a picture.
“Are those your spelling words?” Tamara asked.
Her little shoulders rose before Emma let out an enormous sigh and slid the paper under her notebook, returning to the dreaded assignment.
It wasn’t appropriate to laugh at either of his children. He exchanged a glance with Tamara, thankful he didn’t have to say a word. She’d picked up on his amusement, a hint of a smile twisting the corners of her lips.
He stood and enjoyed his cookie as Sasha told him a random set of information including what she’d done in gym class, that someone in second grade had a birthday soon, and that the pillow on her bed was lumpy.
The cold milk rinsed down the sweetness of the cookie perfectly, and since world war three seemed to have been averted, he took his leave.
“Be good,” Caleb warned, pressing a kiss to Sasha’s head after leaving his glass in the sink.
“Always,” she said without a blink.
God, he was in so much trouble down the road.
He returned to the barn, thinking hard as he went. He’d have to spend a little extra time making sure the girls were comfortable, but he wasn’t about to let them chase Tamara away. He couldn’t continue on his own. From what he’d seen so far, Tamara was just the type of person he’d hoped for in his daughter’s lives—firm and yet with a sense of humour.
He was still somewhat distracted as he wandered through the doors and nearly walked into Ashton.
The foreman put up a hand to stop them from bumping. “Open your eyes, lad. I’ve no desire to be bounced to the ground.”
“Sorry, Ashton,” Caleb said. “You’re usually a much bigger target. You don’t have a horse beside you.”
“Your brothers aim to put me out of a job,” Ashton complained before proving his grumbling was all a show. “It’s good to have Walker back. I might let him take over working with Dewdrop, if you don’t mind.”
Caleb shrugged. “You know the animals best, you and Luke. But I thought we’d sold her.”
Ashton made a rude noise. “Luke offered to sell, but no way was I letting her go to that woman.”
Caleb hid his smile. There was only one female their foreman referred to as that woman. Ashton and Sonora were involved in a long-standing feud.
Feud, or something else? Not that Ashton would ever admit it, but Caleb was pretty sure the man was sweet on the woman who lived a couple of range roads over from their homestead.
“That’s not very nice,” he chided. “Luke said he’d sell the animal. We’re going to get a bad reputation if you go back on our word.”
Ashton grumbled for a moment before lifting his face sheepishly. “I gave her a different horse,” he admitted. “She didn’t need something young and wild, she needed something steady and reliable, so I let her have Sampson.”
Caleb glanced away because there was no way he could stop from grinning this time. The man was a sentimental fool. Sampson was probably worth twice as much as the unruly young filly, at least in the short term.
Ashton seemed to sense what Caleb wasn’t saying. He let out a gruff noise. “I know, but it’d be a shame to hear she’d broken her neck trying to ride a horse that was too much for her.”
“I agree,” Caleb said. “Who’d you fight with at Ginny’s annual barbecue if Ms. Sonora was no longer around?”
Ashton gave him a dirty look. “Don’t you sass me, young man, I can still turn you over my knee—” He eyed Caleb before shaking his head. “File that. I can still make your life hell, but I’m not putting my back out trying to wrestle any of you monsters to the ground.”
“Good choice,” Caleb said before slapping Ashton on the shoulder then heading through the barn and into the arena. The momentary distraction from worrying about his girls was welcome, and when he found his brothers working with the newest horses, he stopped and watched contentedly for a moment.
Their display of skill was undeniable. Even Dustin had the potential to grow into a great horseman.
Caleb stood with a foot up on the railing as the boys rode smoothly around the arena, taking turns watching each other and analyzing their moves. Adjusting gaits and soothing restless beasts.
Walker spotted him and waved a hand, using his knees to guide his horse to where Caleb waited. “Want to join us? We’re going to work for another couple of hours then go into town to Longhorn’s steakhouse for dinner.”
“I’ll help, but take a rain check on the steaks.” Although he was sorely tempted. The opportunity to catch up with Walker was just that, a temptation. “I need to stick close to home the next few of days. Give the girls a chance to get used to having Tamara around.”
Luke was there as well, sitting tall in the saddle as he listened to Caleb’s final comments. “It’ll be good when she’s settled. I know you want to be around for your kids, but you need time to yourself as well.” He grinned across at Walker, his eyes flashing with amusement. “Might have to take him out on the town and see if he still remembers what to do with a woman.”
“Shut up,” Caleb said dryly.
“That’s right, Luke. Don’t be rude.” Walker waggled a finger at their brother. “You know it’s not that he’s forgotten, it’s just it’s been so long he might end up being a trifle quick on the trigger.”
Luke snickered, far too amused for someone whose life expectancy was not much more than his next breath. “That’s not the reputation we want bandied around about the Stone boys. Goes against our name.” He gave a lewd wink.
Caleb shook his head as he wandered away, tossing over his shoulder. “You guys are a bunch of teenagers.”
“That’s the point. We’re not, but right about now, you probably are,” Luke teased.
“Stop slacking off,” Dustin shouted from the far side of the arena.
Caleb ignored the lot of them as he grabbed a saddle and headed to work. He kept an eye on his watch, though, and made sure he was back inside the house in plenty of time to be cleaned up and ready to help before supper was on the table.
He pulled on clean jeans and a dark T-shirt, dragged a comb through his hair and called it done, hurrying in case there were any more temper-tantrum emergencies to deal with.
Instead, peaceful quiet greeted him as he left his room, the low murmur of country music growing louder as he entered the great room. The table was set and the most amazing smells floated on the air. He double-checked to be certain, but Sasha was in the room, playing a board game with Emma as they sat on the floor in front of the unlit fireplace. Tamara sat at the island, cookbooks and paper at hand as she wrote. A new calendar on the fridge held a bunch of bright notes written in a bold hand, and there were more cookies cooling on racks on the counter.
Caleb didn’t say a word for fear there was some magic at work, and talking about the serene situation would break the spell.
Not only were the girls in their right minds, the room felt cozy. Plus, he wasn’t about to regret there was food on the table he hadn’t put together.
He closed his eyes and took a deep, appreciative breath. “I swear it smells better when somebody else cooks.”
“Daddy!” Sasha scrambled to her feet.
Both girls came running to greet him, and he had to admit there was something soul-satisfying about the happiness on their faces and the tight squeeze of their hugs. He wasn’t a perfect father, but they seemed pleased enough with him, most times.
Tamara had risen as well, and she motioned toward the table. “You ready to sit right away, or you want a drink first?”
“I could eat.”
He and the girls were halfway to the table when there was a brief knock at the kitchen door. An instant later it swung open, and Dustin poked his head in and smiled. His brother’s face was heck of a lot cleaner than it had been a half hour ago when he could’ve sworn the kid had been rolling in the mud.
“Am I in the right place?” He stepped inside, basket in hand. He held it in Tamara’s direction. “Fresh bread. JP sent these for you.”
Tamara pulled the basket from him, motioning him toward the table. “Take off your boots then sit,” she said. “You’re right on time.”
Caleb counted quickly and realized the table was set for five. “You didn’t say you were joining us for dinner.”
“Tamara invited me when I stopped by earlier.” Dustin stepped out of his boots, lining them up on the mat beside the door. He stopped to wash his hands before moving toward the table, ruffling the girls’ hair before dropping into the chair next to Sasha. “And we were working. I didn’t want to interrupt since I figured I’d see you soon enough.” He grinned at Tamara. “Man, it smells like heaven.”
A tray filled with ribs settled on the table in front of Caleb, and there was no time for him to complain about not knowing what was going on in his own home.
Although he knew damn well one thing that was going on that wasn’t going to continue for much longer—if Dustin thought he could flirt with Tamara, hell no for so many reasons.
Tamara placed the rest of the food in front of him. She’d stacked all their plates there as well, and when she sat to his right, he hesitated. Especially after she picked up the water pitcher and began pouring for everybody.
A flashback to an earlier time struck hard—Wendy in that same position. Her blonde hair pulled back, face tight. Silent as the girls babbled and Dustin, Ginny and Dare teased each other.
Tamara’s expression shifted to worry. “This is right, isn’t it? The table setup?”
He hurried to assure her, the tightness in his gut uncomfortable even as she waited for his answer. “Family ritual,” he explained putting a scoop of everything on the first plate. He hesitated, then placed it in front of her. “I don’t even remember when it started, but my dad used to serve everyone. When they passed on, I kept up the tradition.”
Dustin lost his smile, thoughtfulness drifting over his expression as he met Caleb’s eyes. “We needed that bit of sameness during the mess of them being gone.” He glanced over to Tamara. “I was too little to remember all the details, but my guess is with seven at the table some days, and eleven when Dare’s family joined us, it was the only way to make sure everybody got some food from the pot.”
Caleb had kept serving while Dustin talked. Sasha glanced at him as she passed him a full plate, as if realizing something for the first time “You were as big as I am now, when grandma and grandpa died.”
Dustin nodded once.
“I’m not too little to remember things. And neither is Emma. We remember lots of things.”
Her lips twisted stubbornly, and Caleb had to laugh. “Yes, pumpkin, you remember lots of things. I think what Uncle Dustin’s saying is he’s gotten so old he’s forgotten what it’s like to be seven and nine like you and Emma.”
Emma poked Sasha and did something under the table with her fingers, then for some strange reason, they both glanced at Tamara before Sasha gave him a pointed glare.
“Emma’s seven and a half,” Sasha reminded him sternly.
Everyone had food and drink, and conversation turned to memories and whether they were more like a TV show or a framed picture, and slowly that sense of being watched by a ghost diminished enough Caleb could take a deep breath and push past it.
The food helped. He sank his teeth into another bite of barbecued ribs and sighed happily.
Next to him, Tamara chuckled. “What would you have done if I hadn’t known how to cook? You never asked.”
“The fact he’s on his third helping means he knows how lucky he is,” Dustin teased, even as he held his plate forward. “I’m lucky too. A few more?”
“Fourth serving,” Caleb pointed out, but he slid the last of the ribs to his brother’s plate.
Dinner done, Dustin took over the dishes again, this time with Sasha drying and Emma putting away.
Tamara motioned to Caleb. “I figured out the washing machine, so if you’ve got clothes you want me to do tomorrow—”
“I’ll do my own wash,” Caleb interrupted.
She folded her arms. “My job, remember?” They stared at each other for a moment before she gave in. “Whatever. If it’s in the laundry room, it’ll get washed. Up to you. You’re a big boy, and I have other battles to fight.”
His gaze drifted to his daughters. “Thanks for taking on the battle. You okay with how things went today?”
Tamara nodded. “Pretty much. Can we chat after the girls are in bed?”
He agreed, then they went different directions for a bit, the evening slipping away until the tooth brushing and other nighttime rituals began.
The quiet time while he tucked the girls in had always been when secrets and questions were shared. Sometimes because they were pushing to stay up late, sometimes he knew it was because the world was buzzing in their brains too fast to be ignored.
Tonight was bound to be a doozey.
He pulled the quilt over Sasha, then reached to turn out the light.
Sure enough, she bounced upright like a rubber ball.
“Is she really going to stay?” Sasha demanded.
Caleb took a deep breath as he settled on the edge of the bed beside her. “Was it nice to get to have supper together tonight?”
Sasha frowned. “We have supper together most nights. I don’t see why she has to be here.”
Speaking carefully, he worked around the problem best he could. “Sometimes Daddy hires new people to come help out when we’ve got a tough job to do, right? Tamara is another worker on the ranch.”
She looked him over suspiciously.
“Pumpkin, I know it’s not easy having your aunties gone, but because they’re big enough to do the next thing in their lives, that means you have to be big enough, too.”
“But I don’t like her,” Sasha complained. “We don’t need a nanny at all. We can take care of things on our own. I promise, Daddy.”
Caleb shook his head. “This afternoon, after enjoying a cookie fresh from the oven, I got to go back outside and help your uncles work with the new horses. If Tamara hadn’t been here to get supper ready and help you with your homework, then I would have had to stay inside. That means the guys would have been doing extra work for me. I don’t think that’s fair.”
Sasha made a face.
“Would you like it if you had to do all Emma’s chores?”
She shook her head.
Caleb thought it over. “I know it’s not exactly the same thing, and your uncles would never complain, but I feel responsible to do my share. And I don’t want to have things not get done, whether that’s with the ranch, or with you and Emma. Remember I missed signing you up for swimming lessons because I forgot?”
He was almost scared to bring that one up considering the number of tears his mistake had generated.
Sasha folded her lips into a frown “I don’t need swimming lessons. And I don’t need extra treats, I want you, Daddy. And Emma wants—” She snapped her lips shut, hesitating for a second before continuing, “I think Emma feels the same.”
Caleb took another breath. “This is something you’ll just have to be sad about, pumpkin, because I’m the grownup. I need help, and Tamara is who I’ve hired.”
Sasha’s lips quivered for a second, but this time it was honest emotion instead of a warmup to dramatic effect.
Then she said something so quietly he had to lean in. “Say that again?”
“What if she leaves?” she whispered.
Like a knife stab into his gut. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and he wished again he’d been smarter, somewhere along the line, even though he had no idea what that would have looked like. Wished he’d have protected his little girls from the hurt they’d experienced.
“I can’t promise she’ll stay forever, pumpkin. But when someone takes on a job, they make a promise to do their best and work hard at it for a period of time. Tamara said she’d stay for six months for sure. That’s where we’re starting.”
“That’s not what I mean, Daddy.” Sasha was barely audible, his usually boisterous child’s voice tight with tears. “What if… What if we don’t want her to go, but she doesn’t like us, so she leaves anyway?”
My god. Most of the time he managed to keep from feeling anything at all about his ex-wife, but a moment like this he lost all charity possible and wished he could rip Wendy in two.
No way in hell did he want his children thinking Tamara would only stay if they were angels. He didn’t want them to think their behaviour could chase her away.
He willed himself calm before he spoke.
“We’re getting a little ahead of ourselves,” he said. “Let’s worry about settling into a routine so we all know who’s doing what. That’s the first thing. Then maybe we can have a few less tears during homework time.”
She looked suitably guilty before accepting his kiss and curling up under the covers. “Yes, Daddy.”
Tucking in Emma was easier, only because she didn’t say all the things that would break his heart, but the questions were there in her eyes.
He curled his arms around her, perched on the edge of her tiny bed.
Everyone from the teachers at school to the family psychiatrist they’d been forced to visit were worried about her speech habits, but she spoke just fine. Oh, maybe not a mess of words, but she talked. When she had something to say, she’d say it, that’s what he’d found.
Caleb tucked his fingers under Emma’s chin and lifted until she looked up at him. “I know you miss your aunties, but I think Tamara’s a good person. Auntie Dare recommended her, and you know she wouldn’t do that if she didn’t think Tamara was pretty special.”
Emma dipped her chin, suspicion and worry on her face, but her concerns lay in a whole different direction. “Sasha’s sad,” she whispered.
“Sasha likes to worry,” he pointed out. “But again, do you think your Auntie Dare would send someone here who can’t handle Sasha? I mean in a good way. Like who’d enjoy spending time with Sasha, and with you?”
Her head twisted from side to side.
“Did you finish the picture you were drawing earlier?” he asked.
Emma shook her head.
“Well, then, tomorrow you work on that. I’d love to see it when it’s done.”
“Daddy?” Sweet and soft.
“Yes, button?”
She clung to him like a limpet for a moment before putting her lips right beside his ear and barely breathing out the words. “I love you.”
His chest tightened. “I love you too. Very, very much.”
Emma slid under the covers, popping up once to straighten the book on her side table before lying back and closing her eyes. She looked like a porcelain doll, pristine and perfect, and as usual, he stared at her for a moment wondering why the way she slept made him feel so uncomfortable.
That uneasy sensation only continued as he wandered back to the living room to discover Dustin was still in the house, chatting with Tamara. She sat in the corner of the couch, laughing at something his brother had said. Dustin was perched on the edge of the coffee table across from her, his gaze fixed on her face, hands on his knees as he leaned in.
Screw this. Caleb walked between them en route to his chair, forcing Dustin to sit back.
His younger brother stood abruptly. “I guess I should be going. Thanks for the dinner invite. It was really good.”
“You’re welcome anytime,” Tamara told him, smiling before shifting position. She lifted her feet to the couch and leaned back, making herself at home.
Dustin waved at Caleb then headed to the door.
“Don’t be late tomorrow morning,” Caleb ordered.
“I hear old people need lots of sleep,” Dustin quipped back. “You’d better go to bed soon or you’ll be the one who’s late.”
Cocky bastard slipped out the door before Caleb could find something to throw.
Tamara laughed. “Little siblings are annoying.”
“Yes.”
She wrapped her hands around her knees, pulling upright and changing the topic. “You caught the little cryfest of Sasha’s today?”
Seemed they were going to dive right in and talk. Caleb straightened up and adjusted his mindset. “She was faking it. I figure you knew that, but just so you know, I knew it too. But she is worried.”
“She’s got a stranger in her house. I don’t blame her.” Tamara hesitated. “I told her she’s not allowed to answer for Emma. That’s what set her off.”
Oh. Caleb let that rattle around in his brain. “I see.”
“I’m not going to force Emma to talk,” Tamara rushed on. “But if everyone answers for her then—”
“You don’t need to explain.” Another wave of frustration hit him hard. He was so stupid. He should have thought of that earlier. Not that he wanted to push Emma to talk more, but in a way, it was lazy of them to have let Sasha run wild.
Tamara was examining him closely. “Is that a ‘you don’t need to explain because you’re right’, or because you think I’m wrong? You need to give me a few more clues, because I can’t read your expression.”
He sighed. “You’re right.”
Her head tilted, concern skittering across her face. “You okay?”
Caleb shoved aside his worries and nodded, trying to look more cheerful. He was afraid it probably looked as if he was constipated, but what the hell. It was the best he could do. “How about you? Other than the crying, how was your first day? You okay so far?”
She eyed him for a moment as if she might challenge his rapid change of topic. Then a soft sigh escaped and she eased back on the couch. “Pretty good. I’ll ask if I have troubles.”
Tamara pulled a notebook off the table and began writing. Silence fell, the conversation ended as abruptly as it had begun.
Caleb took a book from the basket beside his chair and tried to get into it, but having another person in the room…
Be honest. Having another person in the room who wasn’t one of his brothers, or his best friend Josiah Ryder, was potent.
He was aware of every move she made.
The top of her pen worked in smooth motions, a little crease forming between her brows as she concentrated on her task. Her legs were bent halfway, tilted against the couch, her notebook balanced in her lap.
He alternated between trying to read his book and letting his gaze slide over the blurry words back to her body.
She’d taken the elastic from her hair and the heavy dark-brown mass held a hint of a curl as it lay over her shoulders. As if she’d been in the sun for a while, her cheeks had a rosy hew, lips soft and shiny. Her shirt clung to the curve of her breasts, shifting with every breath.
For some stupid reason his eyes kept being drawn to her feet. She was wrapped up from head to toe in jeans and flannel, and he couldn’t take his eyes off the fuzzy socks she wore.
They were white with pink polka dots, and they matched her glasses. She rubbed her feet together, and suddenly everything inside him was tight for a whole new reason.
Damn it, he was turned on as if he’d been watching porn, and all she’d done was innocently wiggle.
When she pulled the throw off the back of the couch, he finally got it. “Cold?”
She shook herself, as if surprised to see him in the easy chair. “A little. This time of year it’s tough to know from one minute to the next what the temperature’s going to be.”
“I can light the fire,” he offered.
Why the hell did his brain have to feed him images of her naked skin highlighted by firelight glow?
Her gaze drifted to the clock on the wall. “Maybe tomorrow. I probably should head to bed. It’s been a longer day than I’m used to.”
She gathered her things and stood. Caleb rose as well, and suddenly they were both standing there, looking at each other. That sense of…something struck again.
“Well, good night,” Tamara announced. Then she walked away quickly.
Walked? No, she damn near ran from the room.
Caleb sat alone in the growing silence with far too many thoughts and needs he knew had to go unanswered.