Chapter Nineteen

Ava

When I open my eyes, I’m lying on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. What happened?

The last thing I remember is calling Robbie then sort of drifting away on the living room floor. I probably should’ve crawled back to bed, but that seemed like too much effort for so little reward.

My mind slowly processes my surroundings. White walls. A narrow bed. A faint odor of disinfectant. A needle in my arm, feeding me some kind of fluid.

A middle-aged nurse walks by, and I call out, “Excuse me.”

She stops and turns. Her employee tag reads Leslie Simms, Sterling Medical Center. I’m at work? Except I’m not working, I think.

“Oh, you’re awake,” she says, a kind smile on her round, friendly face. The fluorescent light hits her permed strawberry-blond hair, making it glow like a halo.

“Um. Yeah. What happened? What am I doing here?”

“You don’t remember? Your boyfriend brought you. You fainted.”

Boyfriend? Fainted? “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Really?” Leslie looks surprised. “I could’ve sworn he was your boyfriend. He stayed here until the doctor said you’d be okay. Just some dehydration, a lack of sleep and possibly stress. You should take better care of yourself,” she chides. “I heard you’re Robbie Choi’s assistant. We don’t want you getting sick, do we?”

“No, ma’am.”

She checks a few things, then walks away. My thoughts churn. Who brought me here? I can’t think of anybody who can be considered my boyfriend. I went out a couple of times with my coworkers, but the guys at the medical center are all taken. Jon can’t be it either, since going to the function together once doesn’t make us an item, and he would never presume that.

Now that I think about it… Who the hell came to my apartment in the first place? My coworkers don’t know where I live. HR does, but it’s most likely against policy to give out my address to—

Lucas.

I dismiss the possibility as soon as it pops in my head. There is no way he came by. He doesn’t even like me. In fact, he’s probably out with Faye at this very moment.

Suddenly the back of my neck prickles. I tilt my head and see Elizabeth speaking with a nurse.

She’s as beautiful as I remember, her golden tresses pulled back in a simple, elegant ponytail. Even her pale lavender wrap dress and the diamond solitaires in her ears exude simple elegance. Every inch of her is carefully groomed, and she easily outshines the basket of yellow and purple tulips she’s holding.

I turn away. The last person I want to talk to right now is Lucas’s sister. She’s probably here to observe or something. Although she’s not really hands-on, she is helping Nate Sterling in some kind of an advisory position.

“There you are,” Elizabeth says.

I wince, then remind myself she can’t see my expression.

“How are you feeling?”

I face her. I hate it that I’m down and she’s towering over me. I shrug. “Okay. What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d bring you some flowers. Everyone deserves some when they aren’t feeling their best.” She places the basket on the small table by my bed.

“Thank you.” The tulips are large and bright, and a small smile tugs at my mouth despite myself.

“And…I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? We’re practically strangers.”

“Are we?”

“Just because I dated Lucas for a while… We’ve met only once.”

“Still, ‘strangers’ isn’t quite right, is it? And ‘acquaintances’ sounds a bit clinical. I prefer the term ‘Mia’s aunt.’”

I hide my shaking hands under the sheet, while she pulls up a chair.

“Aren’t you busy?” I rasp.

Her mouth curls into a pleasant smile. “Not particularly.”

“I’d like to rest.”

“You can listen with your eyes closed. The doctors didn’t say your ears were in pain.”

Guess she’s going to be obtuse. Well, I can be a grownup. “All right.” I shift until I’m fully turned toward her. “Go ahead.”

Her gaze drops briefly to the needle embedded in my arm. “You should take better care of yourself. This isn’t helping anyone.”

“I had a lot of work recently.”

“The year-end fundraiser.”

“Yes. Lucas is helping since you can’t.” I bite my lower lip, realizing I sound almost accusatory. The last thing I need is to betray my feelings. Elizabeth witnessed me making an idiot of myself over Lucas at the opening. No need to display more of my foolishness.

“I know. Unfortunately, I am truly busy these days.” The corners of her mouth turn downward.

“It’s okay. I heard.”

She sighs. “Why do you make yourselves so miserable? All you have to do is be honest, and you’ll know what’s in your hearts.”

“You don’t know anything about it.”

“Don’t I?” She grows quiet for a moment. “I know you love Lucas.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Then why did you quit your job to come with him?”

“I didn’t quit. He maneuvered me into it.”

“You could’ve gone elsewhere. Don’t tell me you had no choice. People always have choices. You have friends…and foster parents who care deeply about you.”

My face heats. Elizabeth’s gaze is too direct, too knowing. She’s obviously dug into my background. She knows about Mia. She probably knows my shoe size, too.

“When people aren’t honest about what they want, it’s usually for two reasons. One, they don’t think they deserve it. Two, they don’t think they’ll be able to hold onto the prize. Which is it for you?”

My throat is so dry it feels like there’s a wad of sandpaper lodged inside. Finally, I rasp out, “You sound like you have a lot of experience. First hand?”

She merely smiles. “The best defense is a good offense.”

“I’m not being defensive.”

“Understand something, Ava.” She pauses for a dramatic beat. “Lucas is going to marry.”

The announcement jerks at my heart with such force, a gasp tears from me before I can control myself. “Marry?”

“Marry. Faye Belbin. He’s been busy romancing her these days. Unless I’m mistaken, he’s going to propose to her this weekend. He booked a suite and”—she makes a few circles with her finger pointed upward—“the works.”

The articles and photos. Of course. He isn’t just on a rebound. He’s… My hand fists over my churning gut. I let Lucas go. I ended it, so I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. Have I lied to myself that I was more than ready and happy to let him go to protect myself? But right now the last thing I’m feeling is safe. Elizabeth’s news is ripping my heart out, chunk by chunk. “Does she know?”

Elizabeth blinks. “Know?”

“About…you know…the thing between all of you and your father.”

“Most likely. She’s a smart girl.”

“And she’s okay with it?”

“As far as I know, she doesn’t care. She wants Lucas, and everything else is just…so much static.” Elizabeth regards me thoughtfully. “To achieve a goal, you need to be brutally honest about what you want and willing to give up everything. Everything, including your pride. Faye is more than willing to go the distance.”

“And you like it because that will get you the multimillion-dollar painting.”

“Money doesn’t motivate me. If it did, I wouldn’t be involved in charity.”

I look away. “Why are you telling me this?”

“So you aren’t caught unaware. You were, weren’t you, at the opening? I doubt think you want to have a repeat at work or elsewhere.” She looks away and sighs. “I’m the one who let Lucas know where you were. I feel responsible for how things turned out.”

“We weren’t going to work out anyway.”

“Lucas brought you here, to the hospital. He still cares about you, but he will never go to you again. His mother made sure to drum into him how unworthy he was from an early age. I’ve never seen a woman so thoroughly evil, and I’m glad she’s not in his life anymore.” Elizabeth sighs. “The ball’s in your court. Only you can decide if you’ll regret not fighting for him and you.”

I close my eyes. “It’s too late.”

I feel her hand grasp mine. “It’s not. Be honest and fight for what you want. Lucas deserves a woman who’ll fight for him.” She releases the hand, and the chair creaks. “I hope you feel better soon, Ava.”

She walks out before I can gather my wits.

How can Lucas think he doesn’t deserve whatever his heart desires? He’s rich, handsome and smart. Yeah, so his father’s a jerk, and it sounds like his mother is too, but that’s just one minor aspect.

On the other hand, I’m a real mess. I’m an imposter—a crow tarred with peacock’s feathers. It’s only a matter of time before people see the truth.

I notice my phone in my peripheral vision and pick it up from the bedside. My fingers tremble as I navigate to the selfies we took. We’re both smiling at the camera, then into each other’s eyes—oh so painfully happy in that autumn field in central Virginia.

But there’s more—something I’ve never let myself see. Happiness isn’t the only thing on Lucas’s face. There is love, adoration. He is looking at me as though I’m everything that matters in his universe. And it isn’t just in one shot. Every shot of us… He is gazing at me with love so naked and vulnerable that it guts me.

A sob breaks free of my tight throat, and I shudder as pain wracks me. Hot tears flow freely down my temples and wet my hair.

Could this have been mine if I hadn’t pushed him away with the “test”? How do I reconcile the slice of heaven of that and the hell of finding out I was just someone he needed to marry to get the inheritance?

I don’t want to end up like my mother—broken and dried up. I want to be better than that for myself…and for Mia.

So are you letting Faye have him instead? Give this happiness to her without a fight because you’re afraid he’s going to use and dump you?

I shift, rolling to my side. My heart aches so much I can barely breathe. It wants to try again. If he won’t come for me, I’ll go to him. I can tell him I didn’t really mean it when I called him toxic. I didn’t really want him to go.

What I wanted was to be his number one…and a guarantee of forever.