“I can be your surrogate.”

Those were the five words I uttered tonight. Five little words that stunned everyone into an awkward silence. My husband, Kyle, looked at me like I had grown an extra head. Sarah, my best friend, stared in disbelief, and her husband, Ethan, looked about ready to burst. What he wanted to say, I couldn’t tell. Everything after that seemed to be a blur.

“What were you thinking tonight, Alice? I know you want a baby, but this is going too far.”

As I sit at my mirror, Kyle hovering angrily over me, I slowly take off my earrings. We had just returned from a dinner party with our friends. An innocent dinner party that suddenly ended when those five words left my lips.

Blowing out a breath, I look at him. “This isn’t about me wanting a baby, Kyle. This is about me giving my best friend a special gift. You haven’t been there when she’s cried to me about not being the woman she feels she needs to be for Ethan. I’ve had to sit there and comfort her, telling her she is all woman and more. I’m the one who has had to listen to the heartache in her voice when yet another attempt at getting pregnant doesn’t work. I want to do this for her. I want to do this for both of them.”

While Kyle paces the room, I watch as the man I married fights the urge to scream and shout. I know he’s angry, but I also know he’s trying his hardest to keep it together. He spins toward me.

“Don’t you know what this means? It means you will be pregnant with another man’s baby! You will be the mother and Ethan will be the father. I know it will kill you to see another woman raising your baby.” When my shoulders sag, Kyle kneels in front of me. “See? You know it’s true, honey. How on earth will you manage to cope with that every day? And what about me? How do you think it will make me feel, knowing you’re carrying another man’s child?”

When a tear slides down my face, Kyle wipes it away. “It’s been over five years, Kyle.” I see him sigh, making me angry. “You said we would try for a baby after we’ve been married three years. It’s been over five.”

He sweeps his eyes over me. “Your body is beautiful, Alice. You’ve always looked so young and vivacious. Having a baby would just—”

I gasp, standing up. Kyle stands slowly, too. “So that’s what this is all about? You’re afraid if I have a baby my body will be—”

“Ruined. Yes,” he blurts out.

My eyes bulge. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You selfish prick.”

Kyle holds out his hand, but all I do is look at it in disgust. “Oh, come on, Alice.”

I step back and walk toward the bed. “I can’t believe you’re saying this. So the reason you won’t have a baby with me is because you’re afraid I’ll get stretch marks and saggy breasts?”

Sighing, Kyle throws his hands up in the air. “It’s not just that. I’ve heard it from my mates at work before. They complain about their wives being too tired to have sex after having a baby. Many have gone as far as to say dinner’s sometimes not even ready when they get home. They’re jealous of me, though. Jealous of the fact I have a hot wife who gives me everything I need.” Holding his hands out, he walks closer to me, but I flinch away.

“Oh…my…god… I can’t believe these words are coming out of your mouth. Seriously?”

Kyle sighs again in obvious frustration. “You should be happy other men think you’re hot.”

I huff in disgust. I can’t believe I’ve never seen this side of him. I already knew Kyle was a little reluctant about having a baby, but I never realised how deep it went. It made me see him in a completely new light.

I narrow my eyes at him. “What would make me happy is to have a husband who supports me. What would make me happy is to seal our unity of marriage by starting a family. Isn’t that the way life goes? Isn’t that the life we agreed on?”

Kyle shakes his head. “Honey, plenty of couples get married and don’t have children.”

My eyes widen. “So now you’re saying you don’t want any kids? Isn’t this something you should have told me...I don’t know...eight years ago when we first got together? Eight years ago when you told me you wanted the house, the wife, the white picket fence? Did you just say all that to get me into bed? Was it all just bullshit?”

Kyle runs his fingers through his hair. “Of course it wasn’t. I’m just not ready yet, okay? I need more time. Is that too much to ask?”

I sigh, turning back toward the mirror before sitting down in front of it. “No, it’s not. But when someone you love and trust tells you three years, you don’t expect almost another three to pass you by with still nothing.”

Kyle growls. “I’m sick of repeatedly having this same fucking argument. Why can’t you just accept the fact I’m not ready? The more you push this, the more I don’t want to have any fucking kids.” I open my mouth, but he cuts me off. “Fuck this. I’m sleeping on the couch. Looks like I am one of those suckers at work after all.”

Kyle storms out, leaving me in tears. I knew he could be cruel, but that really hit me hard, and I’m sure he knew it. He’s the type who always wants to win an argument and, as long as he gets his point across, doesn’t care just how much his words sting.

Trying to push that aside, I think back to Sarah and Ethan’s house tonight. We had just finished our meal. Yes, wine was involved, but even in my woozy state, I knew I wanted to do this for them. I didn’t understand what I felt inside, but I knew I was doing the right thing. How? Well, I haven’t figured that out yet, but I know, in my heart, this is meant to be.

“Sarah and I accept the fact we cannot get pregnant naturally. We still want a baby, so we’re exploring other avenues, aren’t we?” Staring at Sarah, Ethan places a loving hand over hers.

I was always a little jealous of the way he looked at her. It makes me wish I had that in my marriage. Mine isn’t falling apart, by any means, but Kyle can be a little aloof with me at times. It’s almost like he’s in lust with me, rather than love. From the moment he gets home from work at night until the moment he’s ready to leave the next morning, he constantly wants sex. In the beginning, it was exciting, but it’s now become a replacement for love and companionship. It’s as if I’m only his crutch. I want the sex, but I also want to be cherished. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

“What other avenues are you looking into?” I ask, briefly glancing across at Kyle, who gives me a stern look. The look that tells me not to go there. He always tenses up whenever anyone talks about babies. It pisses me off sometimes.

Sarah pushes her golden locks from her shoulder and smiles, which seems a little off tonight. It makes me wonder if she’s given up hope. I pray that isn’t the case because they would make a beautiful baby together.

Sarah is as stunning now as she was when we first met. We’ve known each other since primary school. Despite us being polar opposites…she has blonde hair, I have dark; she has dark blue eyes, I have light brown; she’s five-four and petite, I’m five-eight with curves…we’ve always gotten along.

Come to think of it, Kyle and Ethan are opposites, too. Kyle, having thick blond hair, is not much taller than I am, whereas Ethan has short dark hair and towers over me. He’s also more toned than Kyle, working out at the gym down the road from my job. He lives a healthy lifestyle, hoping it will produce a healthy baby. I know he is going to be a fantastic father.

“We’re thinking of surrogacy.”

Ethan’s voice halts my thoughts.

“Surrogacy?” I ask.

He smiles brightly, but Sarah’s is still off. “Yes. We realise now that IVF won’t work, so we’ve been talking about a surrogate mother. Someone who could carry our baby.”

I frown, looking at Sarah. “You mean, one who will carry the egg from you?” I look at Ethan. “And the sperm from you?”

“Not me.” I snap my head to Sarah. “My infertility runs a little more complicated than that. Not only do I have endometriosis, my eggs are of poor quality. The best solution is for another woman to carry Ethan’s baby.”

Ethan grabs Sarah’s hand and looks at her. “Our baby.”

The sadness in my friend’s face makes my heart ache. “It’s no use, though. The chance of us finding someone who is willing to carry our baby is virtually nil.”

Just then, something comes over me. It’s almost like clarity has formed in my head. It feels as though I finally know why I have been put on this earth. Like, for the first time in my life, I have a purpose.

Before thinking about the implications, I blurt out, “I can be your surrogate.”

Tears fall as Kyle’s cruel words whirl around my head. He could have been a little more understanding, even interested as to why I want to do this. Yes, I am curious to know what it feels like to have another life growing inside me—even though I know I won’t be a mother to the baby. I have been friends with Sarah for eighteen years. We grew up together, met our husbands together, laughed together, and cried together. We are almost like sisters. I wouldn’t think twice about doing this for my sister, so Sarah’s definitely no different.

Despite my husband’s obvious disgust at the thought, I need to go ahead with this. Something inside me still says it’s the right thing to do.

But I guess convincing Kyle is going to be harder than I imagined.