Ash’s words echoed through my head for what was probably the millionth time since he’d said them: “I love you too, baby. I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

He loved me.

With that declaration, my entire world shifted on its axis. I’d told myself I didn’t need Ash’s love to make me whole again, but I couldn’t deny his heartfelt words went a long way toward plastering over the enormous cracks Ford’s betrayal had left in my foundation.

Now, I’d been smiling for five days straight, and I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened—if ever. Even when Ford had first told me he loved me, I hadn’t been this free, this weightless. I’d been too afraid that I’d do something wrong, that he would take it all back. Maybe it was because I was older and wiser, or maybe it was because I knew to the depths of my soul that Ash would never do that to me, but nothing could bring me down.

Not even the fact that the police still hadn’t found my stalker, or that I was having a hell of a difficult time with my album. The whole point of it had been to bare my soul, to tell the world through my music what I’d endured with Ford. But every day that I spent with Ash, the further away from that woman I felt, and the more distant I grew from the emotions that had fueled those lyrics. I could read the lines I’d written and remember who I’d been and why I’d felt the way I had, but I couldn’t feel it now … and that made every song fall flat when I opened my mouth to sing.

“Want to give it another take?” Ash asked from the other side of the glass.

Huffing out a sigh, I set my guitar aside. “No, I think I’m done with this one for today. I’m not even sure I want to include it on the album anymore. I sound like a whiny fucking baby.”

Taking off his earphones and hanging them on a rack, Ash beckoned me into the engineering room.

I hopped off my stool and cracked my aching knuckles. I glanced at the clock over the door as I stepped through, seeing that I’d been playing non-stop for five hours straight.

“Come here,” Ash said, spreading his legs so I could step between them. Fastening his large hands to each side of my waist, he caressed my belly with the pad of his thumbs while his other fingers sank into the fleshy part of my ass. He brought his face to my stomach and rubbed his beard back and forth across before sinking his teeth into my hip deep enough to leave marks.

I yelped and tried to jump back, but he held me immobile. “What was that for?”

“I’m trying to calm down,” he growled. “I thought I could handle it, but it’s so fucking hard hearing you sing about him. About the others. I feel an overwhelming need to mark you, to show the world you’re mine.”

I ruffled my hand through his hair. He’d left it long and loose the last few days and the soft locks almost hit his chin now. “I am yours.”

He tugged me closer. “Straddle me, baby.” It was a command, but it was needy too—as close as he ever got to begging.

When I threw one leg over him, and sat facing him, Ash ran his hands under my skirt, his palms sweeping the fabric up until I was bared to him. I squirmed, seeking friction against my clit.

“I want to fuck you so bad right now,” he said, his eyes fixed on the apex of my thighs.

I looked down and watched his fingers skate closer and closer over my naked skin until they were near that aching, needy place. My breathing hitched and my heart accelerated with anticipation.

“Look at me,” he whispered on a strangled growl.

When I raised my eyes to his, his pupils were black with lust. Instead of finishing his slow path to my clit, he moved his hands to my ass and kneaded my flesh. Then, he tugged me forward and rocked me back along his bulge. I moaned and closed my eyes.

“Keep ‘em open, Rae.”

With my hips undulating over him, my eyes sprang open, and I chewed my lip as I chased my orgasm.

“Not yet,” he warned, and his fingers slipped deeper into the crevice between my cheeks until one of them swept over that tight, forbidden bud. I gasped, and he swirled around it, teasing me, promising me a glimpse of deeper, darker pleasure. He’d touched me there before, but never with such intense focus, with such burning desire in his gaze. Yes, he wanted to fuck me, but this wicked teasing told the real story. He wanted to fuck my ass, and I was going to let him.

His hand dipped lower, and his long, middle finger dipped into my slick entrance to gather moisture, before sliding back to my puckered hole. Lost to the pleasure of his touch, I didn’t hear him speak. Grabbing a handful of my hair with his free hand, Ash tugged hard, calling my attention back to him.

“Did you let him in here?” he asked, his voice resentful. He pressed more insistently against my hole with the pad of his finger, massaged me with gentle yet unrelenting strokes until I felt myself loosen and unfurl. “Did his dick ever fuck your perfect ass?”

I didn’t like talking about my relationship with Ford, especially not when I was with someone else—someone I loved infinitely more than I’d ever loved my ex-husband. But I understood why he needed me to answer, too. Ash had spent the morning listening to how that man had nearly destroyed me. He’d sat there helpless as the woman he loved re-lived her worst memories. It couldn’t have been easy to hear any of it. To sit by while I reminisced about another man, even under the auspices of my career, would have been torture for him. As an alpha, he was doing what he needed to regain control—he was claiming me all over again, in a way Ford never had. Touching a part of me no other man had been.

Ash was marking his territory, and I loved it.

I licked my lips, and panted like a bitch in heat when his finger slipped past my barrier and sank knuckle deep. Holy shit. Instinctively, I pushed back against him and mewled for more. “No,” I breathed through the pinch and the burn. “He never touched me there. No one but you Ash. This is only for you.” I rocked my hips over his straining shaft. The fullness from the small intrusion of his finger was exquisite, the friction of his skin against those untrained nerve endings sending shockwaves up my spine to the base of my skull.

I wanted more. Needed more.

I needed all of him.

Not only for the pleasure it would bring me, but for ownership it would give Ash over me. And yes, I knew that made me sound like a bad feminist, but since he already owned my heart and my soul, what was one more piece of my body? It was all his anyway—he’d ruined me for every other man. He owned me—he owned my pleasure—and I didn’t care who knew it.

“Claim me. Make me yours.”

He growled and captured my mouth in a rough, authoritative kiss. Our teeth gnashed together and with the next swipe of his tongue, I tasted the metallic taste of blood. I didn’t care. I’d bleed for this man any day of the week. When he stood, I hooked my legs around his waist and locked my arms around his neck. He squeezed my ass and smacked it, then rubbed away the sting. “I’d love nothing more than to fold you over that table and take you hard and fast—” he sank his teeth into my collarbone, sucked my flesh into his mouth “—but not this first time.”

Ash fumbled for the door handle, while I licked my way over his exposed throat. He finally got it open and carried me across the courtyard and into the house and up to the master bedroom.

Setting me on the edge of the bed, he dropped into a crouch and rested his palms on my knees. His eyes searched mine. “Is this what you really want, or are you doing it to assuage my ego? Because if you are …”

“No, Ash. I want this. I want you,” I rushed to tell him, reaching out and running my hand over his beard and then skating my fingers down his neck to rest on his shoulder. “I want you to have all of me.”

He hesitated for a split second, but then nodded. His eyes sparking with desire, Ash dropped a quick kiss on my forehead. Marching backward until he reached the leather wingback chair in the corner of the room, he dropped into it. With his elbow resting on the arm, he brought his hand to his mouth and swiped his fingers back and forth over his lips, his eyes devouring me from across the room.

“Strip for me,” he commanded in a low, seductive purr.

As if there were invisible strings tethering me to him, I stood and shimmied my skirt over my hips until it fell in a whoosh at my feet. Hitching my fingers in the cotton of my panties and slid them to land atop my skirt. Stepping out of the puddled fabric, I took a few steps toward Ash and then pulled my shirt over my head. When only my bra was left, I reached around and unclasped it. With the inside of my arms holding the flimsy lace tight against my body, I fingered the strap until it skated down my shoulder. With Ash’s eyes trained on my hands, I traced my fingers over my collarbone, and then pushed the other strap down. When I dropped my arms, the lace fluttered to the ground in front of me

When I was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a blush, Ash licked his lips and leaned forward. “You’re exquisite,” he growled. “And you’re all mine.”

“I am,” I agreed, taking another bold step forward. “Just like you’re mine.”

His turbulent gray eyes roamed my body, and then his lips hitched up in a smirk of pure masculine satisfaction. “That I am,” he conceded, pushing off his chair to stand in front of me.

His fingers danced over my shoulders and down the length of my arms until Ash linked our hands together. Raising one hand to his mouth, he placed a tender kiss along my knuckles, and then repeated the gesture with the other hand, his eyes trained on mine.

“So you know, I’ve only done this one other time, but the situation was much different. It was …” He blinked and pushed whatever he’d been about to say away. “ It doesn’t matter. What matters is this. Us. I want to savor the experience. Make it good for you.”

I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it wasn’t this. I’d braced myself for rough, dirty talk, for Ash to fuck me hard and mercilessly. When Ash unleashed his dominant side, he took me right up to the edge of what I could physically endure, pushed my boundaries and capacity for both pleasure and pain. The type of journey we were about to embark on could hurt me, especially the first time. And with Ash exorcising his jealousy through fucking, I’d fully anticipated there’d be a lot of pain. Anticipated it and accepted it.

I hadn’t expected him to be tender though.

“Your face gives away your every thought,” he whispered. “I know what you thought was going to happen right now, and it humbles me all the more that you still put your trust in me.” His face dropped forward and he took my lips in a reverent kiss as his hands roamed my back and pulled me closer. With his hard cock resting against my belly, Ash took one last pull on my mouth. “This isn’t about my need for control. Don’t get me wrong, I need to make you mine, in every way possible, but that doesn’t have to mean pain. I can claim you here and here—” he tapped my temple and palmed my heart “—with gentleness too.”

My eyes welled with tears that hovered, held, and then broke free, cascading down my face in silent wonderment.

“I want to make love to you, Rae,” he continued, adorning my exposed neck, chest, and breasts with worshipful kisses and licks. “I want to sink so deep inside of you, that I drown in your love. Will you let me do that baby?”

With shaky legs and a quaking heart, I nodded my assent. I understood what he meant because it was exactly the same for me. I wanted him to succumb to his fire until I was scorched and reborn, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

He took my mouth then in the type of stormy kiss I’d come to associate with our lovemaking, the kind that made my stomach flutter with desire and my heart race with longing. Wrapping my leg around his waist, I rolled my hips in an attempt to get closer to him. I needed him against every molecule of my skin.

As we kissed, Ash walked us toward the bed until the mattress hit the back of my thighs. Pushing me onto the flat of my back, his fingers found their way to my pussy, already drenched for him.

“I love how wet you get for me,” he said, taking my nipple in his teeth and stretching it taut. Sliding a finger between my folds, he ground the heel of his palm against my mound. “That’s it baby, fuck my hand.” Ash added a second finger and I bucked against him, chasing my release. The closer I got, the faster he moved until the wet sounds of my pussy were nearly as loud as my moans.

Sliding down my body, Ash sucked my clit into his mouth, and I soared.

“Scoot up the bed and roll onto your stomach.”

With my elbows braced against the covers, I dragged my body to the top of the bed and flipped over, letting my eyes fall closed and my arms rest next to me. With my eyes shut, my other senses kicked in to overdrive. I listened as the metal of Ash’s belt buckle clanked and then I heard the faint whoosh of his jeans dropping to the floor. At my feet, the mattress dipped and a naked Ash straddled my thighs. The snap of a plastic bottle cap being opened and then shut echoed in the silence, only to be filled by the slippery sound of him rubbing his palms together.

When Ash brought his hands to my waist, he smoothed them up and over my back, digging his fingers into me. With slick hands, he focused on my neck and shoulders—the places where I carried my worries. With strong, assured strokes, he moved lower, caressing the full roundness of each globe of my ass. After another snap of the lid, I felt the liquid pool near the base of my spine and then trail into my crevice in warm rivulets. Working the oil into my skin, Ash’s hands made wide, arcing sweeps of my muscles before curving closer and closer to that forbidden place.

When a thumb passed over my bud, I clenched against its presence. “Relax, baby,” he whispered.

As he nibbled his way across my flesh, I took a deep breath and willed my muscles to unclench. I want this, I reminded myself. Whatever he did to me, I’d asked for. Hell, I’d begged for it.

With feather light strokes, he swept the pad of his finger over and around that highly sensitive place. Again, and again, and again until I felt myself opening to him. “Yeah, baby. Just like that. So fucking responsive,” he whispered before kissing the back of my thigh.

Ash petted and played with me until I lost track of time, until I squirmed under his questing fingers, until my hips rolled against the mattress beneath me.

“More?”

I moaned, a deep guttural sound. “More.”

Adding more oil, Ash worked his finger past my barrier and then out again. Over and over, he advanced bit by tiny bit, until I’d taken the entire thing. Until I was pushing back against it, until I was shaking with need.

“How does that feel?”

“Good,” I answered. “So, so good.”

With his finger moving in and out of me with languid, measured strokes he asked, “Can you come from just this?”

I took stock of my body and decided that while what he was doing felt fantastic, it wasn’t enough to tip me over the edge.

“No,” I admitted.

“Keep going?”

I nodded. “Please,” I croaked.

Carefully and with great care, Ash pressed a second finger to my opening and slid both in. “Holy fuck, you’re tight.”

“Oh god,” I moaned. “So good.” When I rolled my hips to increase the sensation, I sucked in a startled gasp.

“Still good?” he asked, moving his fingers.

“So fucking good,” I told him, pushing my ass in the air. “I want your cock in me. Now.”

Ash’s fingers stilled and then slipped from my rear. “Like this?” he asked, rubbing the globes of my ass appreciatively. “Your call, Rae. You’re in control.”

“Yes, just like this,” I answered, desperate for him to ease my empty ache, to fill me completely.

I glanced over my shoulder and watched Ash fisting his cock, the lube glistening down his shaft. I dropped down onto my forearms and waited for him to press against my slick entrance. Gripping my hip, he rubbed the head of his cock over my bud, again and again, loosening the muscles there.

“Okay?”

I nodded and whimpered.

“Give me your words Rae.”

“Yes, please,” I begged on a ragged side.

Pressing his cock harder against my tight center, my body fought against the intrusion. “Relax,” he said, rubbing my flank. “Just relax.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. At the same time, Ash applied more pressure and slipped past my defenses. The shock of his cock breaching me, stretching me, was more startling than the slight twinge of pain that accompanied it. I winced and forced myself to relax my muscles while he held still and waited for me to acclimate to his presence.

“You still with me?”

“Yes,” I answered, pushing back against him, welcoming him further into me. “Just go slow. Be gentle.”

“This is all you,” he bit out, his control held tight. “You move when you’re ready.”

After a few seconds, the discomfort receded and in its place existed a strange sort of fullness that was neither pain, nor pleasure. A feeling so foreign as to be indescribable. All I knew was that I wanted more of it. “Okay, I’m good. You can move.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, please. Now. Fuck me, Ash.”

I couldn’t explain it, but it was imperative to me that now that I’d grown used to the feel of him inside of my ass, Ash take control. To fully give myself over to him, I needed him to take what he wanted—what he needed—from my body.

Ash gripped my hips, his strong fingers digging into my skin. He pulled back and then slid forward in one slow, measured glide. “Oh fuck, you feel so good.”

“You too,” I encouraged, propping back up on my hands and knees. “More.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not going to hurt me,” I promised. “Besides, I want the burn. Tomorrow, I want to know you’ve been here. I want to feel you deep inside of me when I’m sitting in the studio, singing about another man. I want to ache with the memory of you.”

Apparently, that’s what Ash wanted too because he reared back and slammed into me, the force of his driving thrust nearly knocking me onto my stomach. And yes, there was pain, but it was the good sort of pain, the kind that reminded you that you were alive and you could feel, and that despite everything that had been thrown at you, you were stronger, more resilient than you’d ever been. The kind of ache that assured Ash that he owned a part of me no one else ever would. That I trusted him with my heart and my body, and that I’d willingly handed over my soul. A tenderness so exquisite that it brought literal tears to my eyes as he pounded into again and again.

“Touch yourself,” he said through ragged breaths.

Slipping my fingers between my wet folds, I rubbed them over the tight nub of my clit and felt a tingling warmth begin to take root deep in the pit of my belly before it cascaded outward in a rush. I rubbed faster and harder as behind me, Ash’s breathing turned erratic and the pace of his trusts increased.

With a guttural moan, he pulled out and shouted my name. In the next instant, I felt the hot brand of his cum shooting all over my back and my ass.

The sound of his triumph tipped me over the edge, and with the next pass of my fingers, my pussy clenched and my own orgasm followed. With a keening cry, I was pulled under and robbed of breath.

I collapsed and Ash followed me into oblivion.