I take Ana’s hand and reel her in close, wrapping my other arm around her shoulders as I pull her in for a kiss. We’re walking along a busy sidewalk inside Central Park, and the sun is starting to set. Brilliant orange melts into a gradually darkening blue, making the sky look as if it’s on fire.

“Would it be totally cliché if I asked to go on one of those carriage rides?” Ana looks up at me, eyes shining, and smiles.

“It would, but for you, I’ll do it.”

“I kinda feel bad for the horses,” she goes on, looking around the street for a horse-drawn carriage. “Where do they stay? Do they even have room to graze?”

“I’m not too sure on that, but I’ve been told there are some strict rules in place. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if the living conditions were less than ideal.”

Her nose wrinkles as she thinks, and it’s fucking adorable. “I can’t do it. If the horses are treated poorly, then paying to take a ride only enables the handlers. Kinda like how puppy mills work, if that makes sense.”

“It does, and I’ve actually wondered the same thing. It seems unnatural to have a horse inside the city like this, out on the street all day. You said you used to have horses, right?”

“Yeah. I showed at our county fair. I was never really into showing or being formal. It was more for fun. I lost my horse a few years ago, and his pasture mate got lonely—horses don’t do well on their own—so we gave him to a children’s equine therapy place.”

“Do you miss it?” I ask carefully.

“Sometimes. My mom says she’ll get more horses whenever she has grandkids. Which will probably be soon.”

I don’t mean to shoot Ana a shocked look, but I did.

“My sister,” she clarifies with a laugh. “She’s been with her boyfriend for a few years now. They live together and I’m pretty sure a proposal is happening this winter. She’s had a grand scheme of how she wants to be asked in her head since we were kids, and it involves the giant Christmas tree our town puts up in front of the courthouse every holiday season.” She sighs. “I never thought my little sister would be married before me. Funny, how things turn out, right?”

I laugh. “You’re telling me. I never thought Luke would get married at all. Or at least not until he was a lot older. And now look at him.” That bitterness is back, and I hate myself for it.

“You’ll get your happy ending,” Ana says softly, jarring me. It was only last night I confessed everything to her. Told her things I’d never told anyone. Things I hardly even let myself acknowledge.

Dark things.

Bad things.

Things that bring the truth to the surface. Things that prove I’ll never be the hero. I don’t have a heart of gold. I get jealous. I seek vengeance. Seeing other people find their happiness doesn’t give me a sense of hope. It does the opposite and reminds me of what I don’t have.

I’m a fucked-up soul, and it’s only a matter of time before Ana gets swept up in my web of destruction. And now that I’ve witnessed the shit she went through before me, I think it’s best she stays away.

But being selfish is just one of the reasons my soul is so fucked up, and I don’t want to let her go.

“Now what?” Ana asks, swinging my hand in hers. The night has cooled off fast, and the smell of rain hangs in the air. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours, enough to make my head spin, and this was all before Steven showed up.

“We can pick up dessert, wine, and go home? We could attempt to sit in the hot tub before it rains if you’d like.”

Ana’s green eyes sparkle in the fading gold sunlight. “I like that plan. Though I didn’t pack a swimsuit.”

“That’s not a problem. If you did, it wouldn’t stay on for long anyway.”

* * *

I trade the wine glasses for heavy plastic tumblers and set them on a tray. The wind has picked up and the last thing I want to do is clean up glass from my patio. Being neat and orderly has been engrained in me. Sticking to my routine has kept me sane over the last few years. Straying from it feels odd.

And so fucking good.

“I suppose this will do,” Ana says, coming down the stairs. The wine I was pouring sloshes out of the cup and onto the tray.

I blink. Swallow. Feel blood rush to my cock. “If not, you’ll have to take it off,” I choke out, staring at Ana, who’s wearing nothing but a white bra with matching panties. I set the bottle of wine down, forgoing cleaning up the mess, and cross the kitchen. I take Ana in my arms, sliding my palms over her soft flesh. She hooks her arms over my shoulders and presses her hips against mine. I run my hands up her back, fingers moving along the groove of her spine.

Ana shivers and closes her eyes. I take my time looking her over. Her thick dark hair is pulled to the side in a messy braid, and she removed her makeup, not that she needed it in the first place. The pineapple charm hangs above her full breasts, and I can make out the outline of her nipples through the material of her bra. I’ll be able to see through it in the water, and the thought of Ana standing in the hot tub, dripping wet, turns me on.

Feeling my dick harden against her, Ana bites her lip and runs one hand down my chest. Slowly. Tantalizing. Teasing. Her fingers hover over the button of my pants and she moves onto her toes to kiss me. The moment her lips press against mine—wet, warm, and tasting faintly like strawberry lip gloss—I know I can’t wait until we get outside to fuck her. I don’t want this feeling to go away. It’s something I’ve never felt before, not even with Heather after she accepted my marriage proposal. The attraction I feel to Ana is bigger than anything I’ve felt before, and it’s more than physical.

Ana is everything I could ever want in a person. A girlfriend. A wife. She’s beautiful inside and out, and the fear that I’m going to fuck this all up hits me harder than ever.

I don’t want to hurt her.

I don’t want to lose her.

I won’t.

I kiss Ana hard, tongue going into her mouth. My hand slides around her front, over her abdomen, and between her legs. I can feel the heat from her pussy through the thin material her panties are made of. I run a deft finger over her clit, and Ana moans.

God, I love that sound.

I push her panties aside and circle her entrance with my finger. Ana’s head falls back and her eyes shut. I play with her clit for a minute before plunging my finger inside her pussy, finding her g-spot right away.

She moans again and slides her legs apart. Her breasts crush against my chest as her breathing quickens. I bend my head forward and kiss her neck, running my tongue across her collarbone. Down to her breasts.

Suddenly, I drop to my knees and bring her panties down with me. Her eyes open and she looks down at me, lips slightly parted. I wrap my arms around her legs, bringing my hands up to her ass-cheeks.

“Oh, fuck,” she groans when I part her legs and put my open mouth to her. I lick her pussy, soft and slow, gradually building up pressure and speed. I twist my arm around her legs, sliding my hand along her inner thigh until my fingers brush against her core. I keep eating her pussy, waiting until she’s close to coming to slip a finger inside again.

Ana’s body tenses and she moans again as the pleasure builds inside, winding tight like a coil that’s about ready to spring free. She throws one hand behind her, steadying herself against a barstool, and puts the other on my head, tangling my hair in her fingers.

Her thighs start to shake. Her pussy contracts and she screams my name as she comes, legs trembling. I don’t move away just yet, and don’t plan to do so until she’s squirming and pushing against me.

“Oh…oh…don’t you dare fucking stop,” she breathes. “Make me come again.”

That’s a challenge I know I can win.

I break away for just a minute to push her ass onto the edge of the barstool. She leans back, cheeks and chest flushed, and puts both hands on my head. I’m back on my knees and throw one of her legs over my shoulder. I trail kisses along her thigh before I move back to the sweet spot again. She’s so wound up, it doesn’t take long before she’s coming again, pulling my hair and moaning out loud.

When I move my head back, Ana’s fingers are trembling. I hold onto her for a minute then pick her up and cross the kitchen, laying her on the living room couch.

“Fuck, you’re good at that,” she pants.

I flash her a cheeky grin. “I know.”

Ana smiles and takes a deep breath. “Come here. But take your clothes off first. Strip for me? Magic Mike style.”

“I know that’s a movie, but it’s one I haven’t seen.”

“We can have a Magic Mike, Fifty Shades, and The Notebook movie marathon day!”

I grimace. “Sounds fun.”

Ana sits up and grabs the two belt loops on the front of my pants. “I wasn’t serious, but because you’re willing…” She brings me before her and unzips my pants, taking my cock into her hands. I push my pants and boxers down and step out of them. She licks her lips and brings her head down, taking my dick in her mouth. She sucks hard, sending a jolt through me. I rest one hand on her head, watching her bob up and down as she sucks me off. My heartbeat speeds up and this feels so fucking good. I don’t want to stop her.

But I do.

Because I don’t want to be done fucking Ana yet.

Slowly, I back away, pulling my cock from her mouth. Ana wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. I take her by the waist and turn her around. She’s kneeling backward on the couch, holding onto the back for support. I get on behind her and guide my cock into her sweet pussy, slowly thrusting in and out.

I could come right now, but hold off for Ana’s sake.

I slip a hand inside her bra, circling her pert nipple with my thumb. Ana tosses her head back, letting out a moan. I move forward and kiss the back of her neck. Her breathing quickens as she gets closer. I drop my hand, sweeping it over the tender flesh on her stomach, not stopping until my fingers find her warm, wet clit. I stroke it, bringing on another wave of pleasure for Ana.

I come right after she does, and we both fall onto the couch, hearts racing. I reach onto the floor, pick up my boxers, and give them to Ana to use to wipe herself up with.

“I’m never going to want to go back to Kentucky if you keep fucking me like this,” she pants.

I pull her into my arms. “That’s the plan.” I kiss her forehead and hold her close for a few minutes before she gets up to use the bathroom. I go upstairs to get towels, trying to hurry and be back down before Ana is out of the bathroom. On my way down, I catch a glimpse of the sidewalk in front of the house.

It’s not uncommon to see people out there at any hour of the night. But when I see a man just standing along the street, adrenaline pumps through me. A second later, he hails a cab.

Fuck.

I saw one guy standing on the street and assumed he was watching the house. I can only imagine how Ana feels. I shake my head and go back down. If Steven shows up again, I’ll make sure he never does it again.

I won’t let anyone hurt Ana.

“Oh, good,” Ana says when she sees me holding the towel. “You didn’t put pants on and you still want to go in the hot tub.”

I chuckle. “No pants allowed.”

She takes my hand and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this. My heart flutters in my chest, but for a different reason. We get the dessert and wine ready, and Ana helps me wrap my new tattoo before we get into the water.

The yard behind the large house is typical of one in the Upper East Side. Small, totally unnecessary, and filled with over-the-top landscaping. The hot tub is close to the house, made private by a fence and shrubbery. Though you can get a bird’s eye view right down to it from one of the bedrooms upstairs. I unpleasantly discovered just how up close and personal the view is a time or two in high school when Luke brought girls over during the few years we lived with our grandparents.

The air cooled considerably, and the warm water is a welcome contrast. We split a piece of cheesecake and drink our wine before sitting back in the water to relax.

“I could get used to this,” Ana says with a sigh, closing her eyes and resting her head against the side of the hot tub. “It’s beautiful out here, and surprisingly private considering we’re surrounded by hundreds of others.”

I nod. “The price of real estate has gone up considerably since this place was purchased, but I’ll never sell it.” Technically, the house isn’t mine to sell. My grandmother left the estate to both Luke and me, in an attempt to make us get the fuck along. I wish she could see us now. I raise my eyes to the sky. Somehow, I think she knows.

“You’d be a fool to let this go.” Ana raises her leg, swishing the water around with her foot. “Though I’m sure you could get a million bucks for it.”

“Millions,” I say. “Sometimes I wonder what my grandparents would have thought if someone told them how much their house would be worth someday.”

Ana turns and looks at the house. “Are there four stories?”

“Three, and a large attic that was used for the servants’ sleeping quarters. The third story is filled with storage and doesn’t have central air. It hasn’t been updated at all, either, which is why it’s closed off from the rest of the house. It’s not like I need the space. The attic is pretty cool, though. There’s writing on the walls from the early 1900s of the servants’ names and daily tasks. I can show it to you tomorrow if you’d like.”

Ana smiles. “I would.” She tips her head, looking into my eyes. “You know, I really like that you respect the history of this place.”

“It has a lot of history, that’s for sure.”

We sit in silence for another moment, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Cole?” Ana starts, looking at me for half a second. “I have a question, and it might be totally weird to ask. Or personal. It is personal. Really personal.”

“Well, we were just pretty personal with each other, so go ahead and ask.”

“I’m only asking for research. Book research.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Now I’m curious. And as your editor, I think I need to know.”

“Right.” She shakes her head, almost looking embarrassed. “In pretty much every romance book I’ve read, guys love going down on their woman.” She pauses and flicks her eyes to me. “Do you?”

“Very much so.”

“But in the books, they also like the taste.” She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. “I can’t imagine it tasting very, uh, good. But it sounds hot when you read it, I guess.”

“What’s the question?” I ask, amused.

“Do you like it? The way it tastes, I mean?”

I can’t help but laugh. “If you made me a pussy-flavored cake, I wouldn’t jump to eat it. But I do enjoy going down on you because you like it, if that makes sense. Seeing you get off turns me on. So I’m not licking your pussy because it tastes like candy, but because it’s hot as fuck to feel you come against my face.”

Ana’s lips pull into a smile. “It’s hot as fuck to hear you say that. It was very honest.”

I smile back at her. “I have a hard time being anything but honest with you.”

Water swirls around her as she moves closer, hooking her legs over mine. “So it’s kind of like blow jobs for women then. We don’t like—”

“All women love sucking a cock,” I interrupt but can’t stay serious. “Come on, Ana, don’t squash my dreams on that one.”

She rolls her eyes. “Right.”

The wind blows and I pull her into my arms, sinking lower in the water. “But yes, it’s the same, I’d imagine.”

“So next research question,” she starts. “If I spit afterward, is it that big of a deal? Women in books always swallow.”

“At that point, I’ve already come, so I don’t care what you do with it. As long as you don’t spit it on me.”

Ana laughs. “Good to know. Thanks for helping me with my research.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Is there anything else you need help researching?”

Ana bites her lip and gives me a sultry smile. “Actually…yes.” She spins around in the water and moves onto my lap, straddling me. My fingers slip easily over her wet skin as I bring my hands up over her back. It’s crazy to think that this is happening. An amazing woman is naked and on top of me, wanting to have sex—again—after we just had an epic fuck not even two hours ago. We’re comfortable enough with each other to ask personal questions and give personal answers. Ana isn’t just the woman I’m dating. She’s more than the woman I’m attracted to, she’s my friend and I know she can easily become much more than that.

If I had to define perfection, it would be this moment right here.