“Sorry we’re late, I got held up at the office,” I say to my mother as we step into Luke and Lexi’s house. Their dog, Pluto, runs over and wildly greets us. I did get held up at the office, but that’s not what made us this late. I delivered on my promise and had her coming in just minutes. And then again, and once more after that. Ana told me her legs were still shaking when we walked up the steps to Luke and Lexi’s house.

“You work too much,” Mom says, and gives me a hug.

“Mom, this is Ana. Ana, this is my mom and stepdad, Ed.”

Ana smiles and holds out her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

We go through introductions and make our way into the living room to wait until dinner is ready. Ed goes into the kitchen to help Luke, and Lexi and Ana start talking about some sort of drama an author started on Facebook. Harper brings me a book and climbs onto the couch next to me. I pull her into my lap and start to read, but all she wants to do is flip the pages and laugh at the same yellow bird that appears on every page.

“Ana is lovely,” Mom says quietly, sitting down next to me. Harper looks at her apprehensively and leans closer to me for a moment. I know this right here is a big part of why Mom is coming up to visit so often. She wants Harper to get to know her better.

“I think so, of course, but I’d say I’m biased.”

“It’s good to see you smile again.” Mom takes Harper from me, smiling broadly herself. “You two seem pretty serious.”

“We’re getting there. It hasn’t been that long yet.”

“Time isn’t an objective way to measure what you feel in your heart. It’s not too soon to just consider your future together.”

“Don’t be too eager to marry me off, Mom.”

“I’m not, well not entirely. You know I’d love to see you settled down with a little one of your own on the way. Don’t think I forgot how eager you were to start a family before.”

“If it happens, it won’t be for a while.” I sigh. “I’m in no rush this time.”

“Good, but don’t think you need to wait a certain amount of time to move forward. I was with your father for six years before we got married, and look how that turned out. Ed and I got married not even a year after we met.”

“I know.”

“My point is, don’t wait because you think you should. Time isn’t a good indicator. Go with your heart.”

I look across the room at Ana. “I am this time.”

Mom puts her hand on mine. “Good. I like seeing both my boys happy.”

“I like being happy.”

“How’s work?” Mom asks. “Besides busy.”

“It’s been good,” I start, and consider telling her about the possible promotion. I haven’t told anyone in fear that it might not happen, but I’m feeling it tonight. Though instead of telling Mom now, I decide it’s best to wait until we’re all at the table together in order to save myself from repeating the story more than once. Efficiency is important too, after all.

Lexi goes upstairs, and Ana joins us on the couch, talking to Mom. They seem to get along just fine, and for the first time, I feel like we’re all a normal, functional family.

It’s fucking nice.

The pleasantries carry over to the table, and now I’m just waiting for a free moment to talk as we eat to share my news about becoming a publisher.

“It’s almost time to start planning our summer Disney trip,” Mom says, looking at Luke, and then turns her eyes to me. “You should come. Have you ever been, Ana?”

“Not since I was a little kid,” Ana tells her. “I’d love to go back, though. Cole told me you go pretty frequently.”

“We’re annual pass holders for a reason. We love that place. It doesn’t lose its magic as you get older.”

“I’ve heard that it’s quite fun to go as adults. Now I’m feeling the itch to go.”

“I like the princesses,” Paige tells us. “That’s my favorite part.”

“That would be fun! To have us all there. Wouldn’t it, Ed?”

“That would be,” my stepdad agrees. “We could get a villa and all stay together.”

“Actually,” Luke starts, and takes Lexi’s hand. “We think we’re going to skip this summer. It’s hard to travel with a newborn.”

Mom raises her eyebrows and looks at Harper. “But you took her last year and she was even young—” She cuts off abruptly, realizing what Luke said the same time I did. And then it hits me that Lexi isn’t drinking wine. One look at my nieces’ excited faces lets me know all I need.

“You’re pregnant!” Mom exclaims.

“Yes,” Lexi says, eyes getting a little misty. Luke slips his arm around her and kisses her neck.

Mom lets out a cry of excitement and goes around the table to hug Lexi. “Another baby! Oh, Ed! We get another grandbaby!” Mom wipes away tears and puts her arms around Lexi.

“Can we get it now?” Grace asks Luke and he nods. She races out of the room, returning with a framed photo of an ultrasound picture.

“Grandma, look!” she calls, waving around the frame. Mom smiles and puts her hand to her chest. This is a dream come true for her. Grace called her ‘grandma’ and Luke and Lexi are having another baby.

I see the letters that spell out ‘brother’ seconds before everyone else does, and my heart sinks. God dammit, I’m still the same asshole. I’ve accepted that Luke was the first to get married. The first to have children. The first to go on family vacations with Grandma and Grandpa.

But in the back of my mind—and I don’t even know why I thought this—I had this image of my wife and I having a child and it being a boy. I’d get that first, at least. It’s fucking petty, I know.

And I hate myself for it. God, I’ll never change.

“You’re having a boy?” Mom practically shouts.

“I won’t be that outnumbered anymore,” Luke jokes, and everyone laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the fucking world.

“I’m surprised you found out what you were having this time around,” Ed says. “I’m guessing Lexi got the final say this time?”

“Yes,” she says. “Not knowing what we were having last time killed me.” Lexi flicks her eyes to me and smiles. Oh, right. On the way to the hospital she confessed she knew she was having a girl the whole time, able to recognize from the ultrasound. I guess I’m the only one who still knows that secret. “Though we actually got all the chromosome testing done this time—and everything is fine—so we found out early. I’m not dealing with the constant morning sickness like I did with my last pregnancy, and was convinced something was wrong, but it turns out, being pregnant with girls just makes me incredibly nauseous for some reason. Though this time I’ve been a bit emotional.”

“A bit?” Luke teases, and Lexi glares at him. That explains why she’s been acting weird at work lately. “I mean, it’s more than fine if you are. You’re carrying my son, after all. You can be whatever you want. I love you, you know that, right? And you’re beautiful.”

“Good save.” Lexi rolls her eyes and smiles. “It’s going to be so weird. I don’t know how to raise a boy.” She turns to Luke, looking all misty-eyed. “But he’ll have the best dad to do the job.”

Ana leans in close. “Sorry if I gag,” she whispers, and I smile. “But I have a feeling you’re thinking the same, right?”

“I’m resisting the urge to vomit on the table.” I put my hand on her thigh and give it a squeeze. She very well might think the over-show of affections is too much, or she might be saying so because she knows how I feel on all this. Either way, having her here is more than I can ask for.

I’m not going to have the first boy to carry on the Winchester name.

I’ll wait to share my news about the promotion.

And it’s all okay. Because I have Ana.

* * *

Is it Friday yet? I throw my pen down on my desk and lean forward, resting my head in my hands. It’s not Friday. It’s not even afternoon on Thursday. It’s ten fucking a.m. and I have a headache. In need of caffeine, I stand and stretch before making my way to the break room for another fill up on coffee.

Ana and I left Luke’s house not long after dinner; they had to put their kids to bed so we couldn’t stay late anyway. I made the mistake of checking my email when I got home and gave myself an early preview to the shit-show that’s going on with one of our subsidiaries.

Normally, this would stress me out but I’d be able to sit back and watch the head honchos deal with it. I have my own editing work to do, anyway. But Caitlin thought this would be a great fucking time to ‘test the waters’ and let me handle things. Really, she’s too fucking lazy to do her job for the rest of the year. She’s well aware of the bind this puts me in too. If I decline or say anything at all about it, she’ll use that against me.

And I really want this fucking promotion.

I want it for myself, of course, but I want it for the company too. This place is part of me, and I know I can make it even better and bigger. Before I can get there, I have to jump through Caitlin’s hoops. And in this case, go to Los Angeles to deal with the issues the subsidiary can’t handle on their own.

And I have to leave in the morning.

I fill up my coffee, add extra cream and sugar to get me through the stress and go back to my office, shutting the door and hiding from the world for a few minutes. I settle in while I drink my coffee and read through another chapter of the current book I’m editing.

The stress still eats away at me but starts to get pushed back as I read, which is the best thing about books. For a moment—however brief—it offers an escape from reality, and right now, instead of worrying about leaving Ana alone, the impossible amount of work I need to complete before the day is over, and having to go into another office and basically yell at everyone, I’m fighting dragons on the mystical mountains of Atlantica.

I read the chapter, correcting typos as I go along, and then go back and start taking notes. Epic fantasy is my favorite genre for many reasons, like how big the worlds are. I keep extensive notes on each book, which provides the author with a ‘book bible’ of sorts to easily reference. It surprises me how many authors forget characteristics of their main characters over time.

I’m reaching the end of the chapter when Erica, my assistant, pages me.

“Diana Veti-ma-something is here to see you,” she tells me. “She’s an author, but I didn’t see her name down for an appointment.”

“It was a last minute thing,” I say, trying hard to maintain my composure. Fuck. I never told Ana that we need to keep anonymity about our relationship. “She was in the city, meeting with her agent and—” Shit. I don’t need to give Erica an explanation. “—We thought it would be good to discuss her book,” I say quickly. “You can send her in.”

“Okay.”

I shake my head at myself and save the changes I made to the book, then put my computer into sleep-mode. I see Ana walking through the office and my heart softens. I want this promotion, but I don’t want to hurt Ana. Ever. I’d never forgive myself if I did. She’s too beautiful, too good for me. I feel like I’m at her mercy every time we’re together, like I’m not worthy of her affection and certainly not of her love.

I need to tell her playing down our relationship is temporary, and in a few short months, we can let the world know. But until then, things have to appear platonic. Shit. I have to tell her I’m going to LA tomorrow too. I’m not sure what’s the right thing to do, but giving her one bit of bad news at a time seems best.

“Hey, babe,” she tells me, a smile on her pretty face. She’s wearing tight jeans, a gray shirt with a pineapple printed on the front, and heeled boots. Her hair is in a messy braid over her shoulder and she’s not wearing makeup. She’s so fucking gorgeous and I want nothing more than to pull her close and kiss her hard. “I thought I’d surprise you with lunch.” She holds up a bag of takeout and turns to shut the door.

“Leave it open,” I blurt, making Ana look at me weird. “You didn’t have to bring me lunch, but I’m glad you did.” I get up and take the bag from her, stepping around and out of direct line of sight into my office before giving her a quick kiss. “I’m glad you’re here, actually. We need to talk.”

“That’s never a good thing to hear.”

“It’s not,” I agree and look out of the office again, worried someone saw us. “I have to go to California tomorrow and deal with a fuck-up one of our subsidiary publishers made.”

“Oh. That’s it? I thought you were going to say something worse.” She lets out a breath. “Sorry. I tend to expect the worst sometimes. How long are you going to be there?”

“Hopefully just a day or two. I won’t bore you with details, but each sub has its own line of imprints, and Black Ink is basically the mother of them all. Usually we function well on our own, but when something goes wrong with an imprint, it comes back to us.”

“Sounds stressful.”

I shrug. It is, but that’s only because I have to play the role of junior publisher on top of head editor.

“They seem very unorganized. It’s a new imprint aimed for the millennials, and they hired a bunch of younger people trying to appeal to that market and they’re just not experienced enough. If we bring in someone who’s been there and knows—sorry. I’m boring you with details, aren’t I?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Just a bit. But it is kind of interesting to hear all this. From the outside looking in, I didn’t know just how much went into a publishing house and all. It’s giving me an idea for a book, actually. I haven’t read any author-editor romances lately.”

“An author writing about an author?”

Ana shrugs. “They say write what you know, right?”

“I guess, but I’ve also heard authors shouldn’t write authors before, too.”

Ana laughs. “I’m not one for rules. As you know.” She bites her lip and leans forward, seductively gazing at me. Fuck, I want her. It’s killing me to keep this distance between us.

“What’s for lunch?” I say, turning away before my cock gets hard. Ana opens the bag and pulls out Chinese food. I take a seat at my desk again, leaving Ana to sit across from me. I feel like I’m brushing her off, but really, there’s nowhere else to sit in here.

“When I leave tomorrow,” I start, opening a box of fried rice.

“I’ll be fine, Cole,” Ana quips. “You don’t have to babysit me, you know.”

“I love you,” I whisper, though there’s no way anyone can hear us talking unless they were standing in the doorway. “So, I worry.”

She gives me a half smile. “I love you too, and I get the worry. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

I smile back, not telling her there’s no way she can promise she’ll be fine. A number of bad things can happen, including those Steven could inflict.

“Actually, I could go back to Kentucky. My lease is up on my apartment soon and once it’s out, I planned to move anyway. I only lived there to be close to my old job.”

My heart thumps against my chest. “Where are you going to live?”

She sticks her fork into her noodles. “I haven’t quite figured that out yet. There’s limited real estate in Salt Creek.”

“Do you want to go back there?” I ask, nerves buzzing.

“Not really, but my family’s there so…I guess that’s where I’ll—”

“Stay with me.”

Ana slowly looks up from her food, green eyes wide. Her full lips part and she stares at me for a beat. And then she smiles. “Okay.” She blinks and shakes herself. “I mean, are you sure?”

“Yes. I love you, Ana. I love being around you. I love waking up next to you, and going to sleep kind of next to you,” I say with a laugh since she stays up writing most nights. “I know it hasn’t been that long, but I don’t think that matters. I don’t want to not be with you. And it just makes sense. Your lease is up and you need a place to live. I have a place where we can both live. And you like being close to work, and I am your editor, after all. And your publisher and agent are all in the city. From a career standpoint, it makes the most sense.”

“That’s very practical of you, Mr. Winchester,” she says with a nod. “This is an offer I can’t refuse.”

“Don’t feel pressured,” I add quickly. “If you want your own place in New York, I won’t be offended. And you could always stay with me while you look.” I’m backpedaling, suddenly afraid she’ll say no, which only drives home how much I want Ana.

She puts her food to the side and smiles, taking my hand. “I’d love to move in with you. I’m practically living with you already, anyway.”