ChapterTwenty-Two
Bella tied her apron strings and put a smile on her face. She got why this was on the list.
Liz smiled back, her eyes growing a bit damp. “Yeah.” She stiffened. “What the hell?”
“I’m not sure you should swear.” Bella glanced around to see if anyone had heard.
Reverend Michael winked at her. “Watch out for the lightning bolt.”
Noel threaded his way through the tables, stripping his jacket off as he came. He smiled at Bella and stopped close to Liz, his shoulders squared and his chin at a determined angle. “Babe.”
“I’m not your babe.” Liz fiddled with her apron. “And what are you doing here?”
“I heard you organizing this. You won’t come out to dinner with me, so I thought I’d join you here,” Noel said, then accepted an apron from a smirking Reverend Michael.
“Desperate men.” Reverend Michael leaned close enough for only Bella to hear. “They make my best converts.”
Liking this priest more and more, Bella giggled.
“Daniel, my brother,” Reverend Michael sang out in a beautiful baritone. “Get over here and help my new victims out.”
As Daniel Carver walked in and exchanged shoulder thumps with Reverend Michael, Bella’s gut twinged.
He stopped when he saw her, eyes widening for a moment, and then he smiled. “Bella?” He trotted over to her. “This is a nice surprise.”
“Are you stalking her too?” Brandishing a ladle, Liz appeared at her side. “We don’t need any more creeps.”
“What?” Daniel paled and took a step back. “Shit—sorry, Michael—but I had no idea she would be here.” He held up his hands. “I come every Tuesday to do this.”
“He does.” Reverend Michael handed Daniel an apron. “I recruited him when he was here for another meeting.”
“He means my AA meeting,” Daniel said. “That’s every Monday and Thursday.”
“AA?”
Daniel nodded. “As in Alcoholics Anonymous. Although I kind of blew the anonymous part just then.”
Reverend Michael clapped his hands and silence fell.
“I’d like to welcome everyone here tonight. And say a special thank you to our volunteers. I’d like to ask you to bow your heads while we thank the Lord for this meal.”
After they’d said Grace, the people at the tables stood and formed an orderly line. Liz doled out chicken noodle soup and sass. Noel worked cheerfully beside her, not seeming to mind her outrageous flirting. Bella handled the bread rolls and Daniel seemed to be a sort of on-the-fly guy. He changed the tureens when they emptied, brought more bread rolls, took fresh cups to the coffee station. He stopped a few times to talk to the diners. They seemed to know him here.
After dinner, they stayed and helped with the cleanup.
Daniel joined Bella wiping tables. “So, I haven’t checked my phone for at least fifteen minutes. Did you call?”
He was such an easy guy to like. The problem being she didn’t like-like him. “Daniel . . .”
“Nope.” He took a clean cloth and moved to the next table. “You’re about to friend zone me. I get it.”
He didn’t look upset about it, which relieved her and gave her ego a little cut at the same time.
Reverend Michael sat at a table in the far corner and talked to a few stragglers.
Noel and Liz appeared to be arguing in the kitchen. Well, Liz argued. Noel merely nodded and listened and kept washing pots.
When they left, the night had turned bitterly cold. A sharp, ice-edged wind whipped between the buildings and snatched Bella’s breath away. She and Liz hustled to the car.
“What’s next on our list?” Liz glanced up from clipping her seat belt.
“I enjoyed that,” Bella said.
“Me too.” Liz winked. “And don’t tell anyone or rumor might get out that I’ve discovered a human emotion.”
Bella squeezed her forearm. She might have been one of those people before she got to know Liz.
Daniel left the church basement, hands shoved deep in his pocket. Noel called to him and he turned. They both got into Noel’s pimped-up truck. He didn’t seem to have much, Daniel, but still he volunteered.
“Administration,” Bella said. “Next on the list is catching up on life admin.”
“Ugh.” Liz eased into the quiet street. “I say we skip that one and move onto the next.”
“All right.” Admin didn’t blow Bella’s skirt up either. “Then we should move on to exploring new culinary experiences.”
“In Ghost Falls?” Liz snorted. “Where we have the choice of burgers, pizza, and the hella-expensive restaurants on the hill.”
“Hmm?” That could present a problem. “Or we could host our own dinner party.” Bella floated the idea out there, not sure how she felt about it.
“Bella.” Liz chuckled. “I love you, girl, but let’s not forget the pink-marshmallows-in-everything factor.”
Bella giggled; cooking lay outside her skill set. “Then I think we should move on to attending a Christmas party.”
“Got any leads on that?” Liz pulled into the deserted street.
“Phi.” And did she ever have a lead on a Christmas party. “Phi holds a Christmas party every year for Christmas waifs and strays.”
“That’s us.” Liz grinned at her.
They drove the rest of the way home in a contented silence.
Nate’s cruiser sat outside her house.
Peering through her windshield, Liz whistled. “Looks like the sheriff is making house calls.”
Her headlights illuminated Nate sitting in the driver seat.
“And he doesn’t look happy about it.” Liz parked in her drive. “Want me to come in with you, or maybe make a dash for my house and lock yourself in?”
Nate climbed out of the cruiser and leaned his hips against the door. Arms folded, he watched them. Wind ruffled his hair, but other than that he didn’t seem bothered by the cold.
Bella could feel the eye burn. Her strategy of avoidance had come to an end.
Nate straightened and stalked in their direction. With his face set in lines of granite, he looked pissed.
“If you’re gonna make a run for it, you need to do it now.” Liz kept her eyes on Nate.
“I’m going to talk to him.” Bella opened her door. The wind nearly ripped it out of her hand. “Thanks for driving. Let’s talk about going back next week.”
“You got it.” Liz’s eyes widened. “Hey, Nate.”
“Liz.” Nate stood in the path of Bella’s open door. His tone put the wind to shame for chill factor. “Are you getting out?”
Feeling like a naughty toddler, Bella climbed out.
He stood way too close and her nose nearly touched his chest. Too much of a coward to look up, she spoke to his throat. “Hi, Nate. What are you doing here?”
“House,” he said. “Now.”
See, this was the part where any sassy chick-flick heroine would be tossing her curls back and giving him lip. But then, they weren’t facing six-three of muscular, badass, pissed-off male. “Okay.”
Bella scurried for her house. Aware of Nate right on her heels, she fumbled the key into the lock trying to get the door open.
Nate leaned over, engulfing her in body heat and spicy man smell. He got the door open on the first try.
In the hall, Bella unbuttoned her coat.
“Phone.” Nate shrugged out of his coat and hung it over the newel post.
She didn’t get it. “Sorry?”
“Give me your phone.” He thrust out his hand.
That seemed to be taking bossy badass too far. “What do you want with my phone?”
“I want you to give it to me.” He barely moved a muscle, his hand staying right where it was.
“Fine.” Bella dug it out of her purse and slapped it into his hand.
Nate scrolled, grunted, and then scowled. He held the phone up in front of her. “Let’s see here, shall we? Six missed calls from Nate. Do you want me to count text messages as well?”
“Um . . . no.” First off, she could have told him the number because she’d counted. Eight. “I texted you, so you know I’m fine.” She grabbed her phone back.
“What the fuck, Bella?” He balled his fists and shoved them into his pockets.
She got the feeling he wanted to shake her or something. “I’ve been avoiding you.”
“No shit.” Tight enough to break teeth, his jaw clenched. “Why?”
She knew he’d ask that, hence the avoidance. “I need a drink,” she said and headed for the kitchen. “You can come and have one with me or stand there and glower.”
Nate stalked into the kitchen after her and loomed too close as she got a beer out of the fridge and handed it to him. Not wanting the fuss of opening wine, she grabbed one for herself and popped the cap. She downed half the bottle before she felt able to reply. “Self-preservation.”
Nate thunked his beer down on the table. Foam spilled over the side. “What?”
“Self-preservation.” Bella got it under control enough to meet his gaze. He looked angry, yes, but also hurt. “Turns out I’m not so good at this friends-with-benefits thing.”
“Fuck.” He spun around and stared out of the window. Fabric strained across his shoulders as he pressed his hands into the countertop. “So this is about us hooking up.”
“Partly.” It was easier talking to his back. “Turns out I can’t shut off my feelings and have sex with you. It’s too confusing.”
“So you thought you’d cut off all contact instead.” He turned, tension eking out of every muscle. And that meant a lot of tension.
It had seemed the most logical thing to do. Not so much with him standing in her kitchen, those lion eyes demanding some sort of explanation. “I don’t want sex to make things weird between us.”
“We had this discussion before.” Nate’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the counter. “You knew the score.”
“I did.” He certainly hadn’t lied to her. “I thought I could handle it.” She tried for a light shrug, but inside felt scraped raw. “I was wrong.”
“So you decided it would be better to cut off contact with me altogether.” He thumped his fist into the countertop. “You’ve got some whack job chasing you and you decided it would be a good idea to stop talking to me?”
That was stupid, and she hadn’t thought of it in those terms. She didn’t want to fight with him, ever, and not now, when she felt like an open nerve ending. “I’m sorry.”
Nate dropped his head. “You could have talked to me before you decided to ignore me.”
“And say what?” Bella almost laughed. “What would you have said? That you don’t do relationships. I know that, Nate. You made it perfectly clear.”
“Hell.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I would have said, but I would have liked to have been given the chance.”
“You’re right.” Some stupid-girl part of her wanted to ease his frustration. “I’m sorry about not taking your calls and ignoring you. I honestly thought it would be better.”
He looked up. “So where does this leave us now?”
“Friends.” She nearly crumpled under the impact of that word. “It leaves us as friends. Like we were before.”
“What if I want more?”
Her heart leaped into her throat. “Do you?”
He blew out a harsh breath. “I don’t know.” And there, in a nutshell, lay the problem. “But I don’t like being cut off from you. I know that much.”
Her hurting heart took a little comfort from that. “I’ll stop avoiding you.”
“And I know that the idea of some dickhead making your life hell makes me mad enough to do something stupid,” he said.
It hurt and it soothed all at once. Nate the protector, and hidden beneath that allergy to relationships was a good guy. Sure, he sucked at commitment, but he had so many qualities she loved.
And yes, she did love them.
“Okay.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “But you have to know the other night was incredible.”
“For me too.” Maybe if it hadn’t been that way, and maybe if she hadn’t felt like every one of her dreams had come true, they might not be having this conversation. But she did and they were, and facts were facts. “But I can’t do it again and come away unscathed.”
He closed the gap between them and cupped her face. “Damn, Bella. I wish you had answered differently.” He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Hot and demanding and leaving a scorch mark all the way through her. He owned her mouth as if he wanted to leave his brand on her. Too late. He was already embedded deep in her heart.
Nate broke off the kiss. “See you around, Bella.”