Becoming Bella by Sarah Hegger (19)

Bella woke alone the next morning, and she was good with it.

Nate had left sometime in the very early hours. Tucking the covers under her chin, he’d given her a sweet kiss as he left.

She lay in bed and giggled at the memory of his failed tattoo. Somewhere between the bouts of the most incredible sex, ever, they’d found time to chat. She’d asked him about the large tattoo covering his ribs and learned it covered up an older mistake. Under duress, he’d told her about his credo gone wrong.

She’d laughed so hard he’d had to shut her up in the most effective manner he knew.

Bella stretched, her body twinging in all sorts of places. What a night! She put off getting out of bed for as long as possible. Her sheets still smelled like Nate, but she stripped them anyway. Only indulging in one last breath of him before shoving them into the washing machine.

Nate had come over and they’d had mind-blowing sex, more than once. And now he’d gone. Life would go back to normal.

She amazed herself at how okay she felt about that. If she’d known she’d be this okay, she’d have jumped his bones years ago. Shower turned on, she brushed her teeth as she waited for the water to heat. Here she’d been building this up into some great tragedy. Nate would break her heart, blah blah blah.

She stepped into the shower and, tilting her head, let the warm water run all over her.

Finally, she’d had the sort of sex Liz went on about. The sort that rocked your world and left you craving more. Except there wouldn’t be more. She and Nate had been friends for years and they would go right back to that.

And she was . . . fine with that?

Oh God! She wasn’t fine with that. Not at all. Not even a tiny bit. The wave of sadness grew from her toes and hit every major organ on the way up.

Nate had moved the earth for her and then taken that away. Every fiber of her rejected the notion. Her tears mingled with the water.

She’d made a horrible miscalculation. Dreaming and knowing weren’t the same thing. In the past, Nate had been some kind of phantom desire, always floating outside her grasp. Last night that phantom had become flesh and joined with her flesh, grafting itself onto her, sinking into her with sharp, hooked claws. Her gut had warned her all along how it would go. Too late to listen to it now because she’d just eviscerated herself.

“Stop it.” She hauled out her Nana voice for the occasion. “You slept with him, it was great, now it’s done. Get over it.”

Pressing her hands into them, she willed her eyes to stop leaking. Worse things happened in the world than getting your heart broken. People got their hearts broken every day and they survived. She would too.

Nate had made her no promises; quite the opposite, in fact. He’d told her straight up the way it would be and she’d taken her gamble. Win some, lose some. She never wanted him to regret last night.

Over the years, she’d seen the girls come and go in Nate’s life. Most of the time through the green haze of jealousy. The only thing they had in common was that they eventually all went. Some went with tears and pleading, others got a little clingy before he scraped them off, and a few had even walked away with their heads held high. She didn’t have a time machine to go back to change last night, and even if she did, she wouldn’t do it.

Foolishly, she’d wished with all her heart for one taste and she’d gotten it.

Time to buck up and be one of the girls with dignity. Fake it till you make it and all that.

Pushing the heaviness in her middle down as far as she could, Bella dressed and drove to the store. Life went on, and she intended to ride along with it. She stopped for her usual coffee.

“Bella, right?” a tall man with brown hair greeted her.

There was something very familiar about him, but she couldn’t place him. “Hi . . . er . . . hi.”

“Daniel.” He grinned and took the lid off his coffee. “We went to school together.”

“I remember.” Bella forced a smile and placed her order for a caramel latte. Faces cycled through her brain as she tried to place him. “How are you?”

“Good.” Daniel took a careful sip from his cup. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“Of course I do.” Bella prayed her face wasn’t going red because she did remember him. Sort of.

In an attractive flash of white teeth, he laughed. “Bella, we went to school together from first grade.”

“Are you sure?” She would have remembered.

“Not that I was there much.” Daniel shrugged and gave her another smile. Good-looking in a rugged way, his face softened when he smiled. He really did have a great smile. “And I was a year older.”

Bella did a scan through her memory banks. Something vague flickered in her memory. “You were Nate’s friend?”

“There ya go.” He nodded and handed her drink to her. “Of course, in those days you pretty much didn’t see past Nate.”

Not much change there. Except maybe even more so now. “Well, you know.” Bella had no idea what she would say if he didn’t know. Fortunately, he nodded and fell into step with her.

Bella paused at the door to the coffee shop. Things with Adam had gotten started like this. “Well, see you around.”

Daniel jerked his chin. “Later.”

She increased her pace toward her store. Talk about paranoid, but Adam wasn’t an experience she wanted to repeat.

Daniel walked behind her.

Bella tried a secret glance over her shoulder.

“I swear I’m not following you,” Daniel called from behind her. “We just happen to be walking in the same direction. I’m on . . . what the fuck!”

Bella swung her gaze to Daniel.

He stared at something over her shoulder.

Bella turned. Her cup slid from her dead fingers and hit the ground, splashing hot coffee over her ankles. The pain barely registered.

Scrawled across her storefront in big red letters: Fucking slut.

“What . . . who?” Her vision grew hazy around the edges.

Daniel gripped her elbow. “Are you going to faint?”

“No,” she said, but she couldn’t be entirely sure. She wanted to puke and her head buzzed.

“Here, sit down.” Daniel guided her to the sidewalk and plonked her butt down. “Sit there and get your breath back.” He slid a phone out of his back pocket.

Bella couldn’t take her eyes from her storefront. Taunting her, the words danced around in front of her.

Adam.

“Hey, Nate.” Daniel spoke somewhere near her. “Yeah. I’m at Bella’s . . . the store . . . yup. You better get down here.”

* * *

Nate hit the siren, pulled a doughnut in the middle of Eighth Avenue, and gunned his cruiser over to Main Street. His sweaty palms slid on the steering wheel. Damn things had been sweating since Daniel had uttered Bella’s name.

Actually, he’d been doing an internal meltdown all morning. Last night might have been the biggest mistake of his thirty-four years. This thing with Bella kept growing bigger. No woman had pushed him off his axis before, and considering his long list of conquests that was saying something.

Yeah, the sex had been mind-blowing, but the sweet had been worse. Sugar-sweet, honey, and spice Bella had hacked through the carefully constructed protective barrier he’d built. And he didn’t like it.

A small crowd milled outside the store. Heads turned as he approached.

Bella’s pale face jumped out from the others around her.

It punched a hole through his chest. Something had shaken her up badly. His inner barbarian threw back his head and bellowed. The urge to smash raged through him. He took a moment, calling the scene in to Gabby. So shaken he even managed radio protocol.

Arm over her shoulder, Daniel stood beside Bella.

Nate wanted to twist that arm off and shove it up Daniel’s ass.

“Are you okay?” He brushed through the curious onlookers. Only when he had his hands on her shoulders did he take his first deep breath.

“I think it might be Adam,” she whispered.

Fuck procedure! Nate needed to hold her. He tugged her closer, fitting her under his chin and breathing in Bella.

A couple of voices murmured behind him. This would be all over town by noon, but he didn’t give a shit. When he had his arms around her, he knew she was safe. Nate dropped his head lower, closed his eyes, and let the feel of her, well and safe, seep into him.

Daniel cleared his throat. “I took some pictures.”

Nate nodded. He took one more moment and then stepped away from Bella. Adam had dared to put the fear in her beautiful, big blue eyes and he would pay for that.

He stepped back and assessed the situation. He had a goddamned job to do here.

“I’ve got something that will clean that right off.” Hank Baker shook his head. “What the hell is this world coming to? Nice girl like Bella with this filth on her store.”

“Appreciate it, Hank.” Before he strangled something, Nate shoved his hands in his pockets. “I just want to check it out first.” He turned back to Bella. “Do you have the keys?”

Nodding, she fumbled them out of her purse. Her hands shook as she held them out to him.

“Did you change the locks?” His voice came out a whole lot rougher than he intended.

Her eyes widened. “Not yet. I was going to speak to Hank today.”

“Do it.” He turned the lock, almost throwing the door open. He looked at the small crowd around them. “You can all move along now. This is a crime scene.”

Anger sat like a devil on his shoulder as he went through the store. This kind of thing could get a cop hurt. Anger clouded judgment and he forced himself to breathe slow and deep.

The front of the store was clear; so was the stockroom behind.

When he got back to the street, Gabby had arrived and was taking statements. Thank God someone was thinking straight. He gave her a nod.

Gabby moved closer to him. “Doesn’t look like anyone saw anything.” She shrugged. “And, of course, no security cameras or anything like that.”

“I think we have a fair idea who did this.” Anger simmered beneath his skin.

Gabby gave him a hard stare. “That may be, but we still have to prove it. That’s generally how this works.”

Nate bunched his hands into fists before he punched something. “I know my job.”

“Huh.” Gabby adjusted her utility belt. “Does that include handing out hugs to crime victims now?”

“Don’t.” He couldn’t deal with her bitchiness right now.

“Nate?” Daniel interrupted their stare-down. “I’m going to take Bella to get a cup of coffee.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but there was Gabby with her sharp gaze on him. “Fine.”

“I’ve got her statement already,” Gabby said.

Not sure he could watch Daniel walk away with his Bella, Nate turned back to the storefront. Whoa! He stopped in midstep and Gabby swore behind him as she sidestepped quickly. His Bella. She wasn’t his, and someone like him had no business having that notion.

“Got what you need here?” He got his voice under control again.

Gabby nodded and headed for her cruiser.

“Deputy,” he called after her. Gabby turned around. “Find him.”

* * *

Bella had heard Nate had a bigger, fancier county headquarters. One with detectives and jails and lots more deputies. The Ghost Falls sheriff ’s office hadn’t changed much since Sheriff Wheeler had died. The battered old filing cabinet with its Broncos stickers down the side. Two desks behind the counter. One clearly Jeff ’s because of the liberal scattering of baby pictures. The other as neat as if nobody ever used it and the one Bella presently sat at.

Through the open door to Nate’s office, the deep rumble of his voice on the phone distracted her. He’d been terse and professional since she’d arrived at the station to lay a charge. Pacing, his tall body crossed the open doorway. He nodded and rubbed at the back of his neck as he spoke. Everything girl inside her ached.

She edged her shoulder around slightly, putting him out of her sight line.

Gabby pecked away at her keyboard. What a crying shame to drag that gloriously thick, curly hair into a ponytail. She’d bet Gabby looked like some kind of pagan goddess with her hair down. Good God, you couldn’t buy skin like that at any price. Beneath her butt-ugly uniform, there was no denying that Deputy Gabby rocked a hot bod. She must introduce her to Pippa. She’d lay good money on Pippa getting the same itch to make her over. “How long have you lived here now?”

Gabby looked up at her, her mouth dropping open slightly. “About two years.”

Two years in a town the size of Ghost Falls and Bella had never seen her out and about anywhere. “Do you like it?”

“It’s okay.” Gabby shrugged.

Uh-oh. A very definite negative, or did they say negatory in police stations? She might be losing her mind here. Still, her inane mental meanderings beat the hell out of obsessing about some psycho out there with her name on his hit list. “Where did you live before here?”

Gabby narrowed her eyes. “A few places.”

“Ah.” Even to her, it sounded like someone had strangled the sound out of Gabby. “A woman of mystery.”

“Not really.” Gabby glared at her computer screen. “Just a private one.”

Hand slap. A very definite hand slap there. “Sorry.”

“Appreciate that.” Nate’s voice floated into the uncomfortable silence. “I’ll make sure you get something today. Yup . . . BOLO . . . aha.”

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” Gabby’s cheeks went a dusky pink color.

Bella shook her head. Any more coffee and her back teeth would float. “Actually, I need a bathroom.”

“Oh, right.” Gabby rose. She had that sort of unconscious grace some women did. No doubt about it, pathologically private Deputy Gabby was a knockout. “There’s one back here.”

“Thank you.” Thank God her legs had stopped shaking; she walked mostly straight to the bathroom.

“It’s not you,” Gabby called after her. Shrugging, she stuffed her hands in her pockets. “It’s just . . . I’m out of practice. With people.”

“That’s a pity.” Bella had the insane urge, one that would no doubt get her face smacked in, to give Gabby a huge hug. “If you ever want to get back in practice . . .”

Gabby nodded. “I’ll bear that in mind.”

“Okay, good.” She hesitated to push her luck, but what the hell? “Liz and I have this thing going for people who spend Christmas alone. If you don’t have anything . . .” Gabby’s face hardened. “No, sorry, stupid idea, you probably have family here and stuff. Pretend I never said anything. Put it down to shock.”

She finished up in the bathroom, taking the time to do something about her mascara-raccoon eyes.

When she got back, Gabby sat with her hips propped on her desk. “If you’re ready, Sheriff asked me to make sure you got home.”

“He’s gone?” She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. By the quick flash of sympathy Gabby gave her, she’d failed.

They walked in silence to Gabby’s cruiser.

“When can I get back into the store?” Christmas was still one of her busiest seasons.

“Tomorrow.” Gabby blipped the locks. “We’ll be all done by then. Sheriff Evans already spoke to Hank. They’re changing your locks this afternoon.”

Some women got rings and romance, others got their locks changed. She had the insane urge to giggle.

“What thing?” Gabby started the car and backed out.

“Huh?”

“The thing with Christmas you mentioned.”

“Oh.” With Gabby, you couldn’t really gauge her thoughts. “It’s this list I found on the internet. Ten things to do if you’re spending Christmas alone.”

Gabby nodded.

Bella took that as encouragement to continue. “One was decorating, and we did that. Well, I did. Liz says if she wants to see where Christmas vomited she can always come over to my place.” She leaned a bit closer to Gabby. “Secretly, I think she loves it.”

Gabby chuckled. Sweet, a little bit raspy, and totally adorable.

“Two was to get out and do things you wouldn’t normally do.”

“Like what?”

“Anything. Liz and I went to singles’ night up at Whispering Pines.” Which was where she’d met Adam. “Actually, that didn’t turn out so well.”

Gabby gave her a sympathetic grimace. Or at least she thought it was a sympathetic grimace. It could also be a how-stupid-are-you grimace. “What’s three? On the list. What’s the third thing?”

“Volunteer.” Which reminded her that she needed to speak to Liz. “We need to find something for us to do together.”

Gabby drove down Main, turned into Eighth, her attention on the road. She flicked her forefinger in response to a driver passing with a wave. They drove through the residential streets, quiet at this time of day with the kids in school.

They pulled up outside Bella’s house.

“Sheriff already checked it out.” Gabby nodded at her house. “Said it was safe for you to go in.”

“Oh.” Bella hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Thanks. And thanks for the ride.”

Liz popped onto her porch and hustled over. Clearly, the Ghost Falls gossip lines had been humming.

“I can volunteer.” Gabby poked her head out the car window. “When you do your volunteer thing, I could tag along. I mean, if I’m not busy.”

“Oh my God.” Liz picked her way over on her high heels. “I heard it from everyone. Are you okay? Did Nate find that fucker and pop a cap in his ass?”

She enveloped Bella in a perfume-soaked hug. So skinny, Bella didn’t want to hug too hard. “I’ m fine and no, they haven’t found him yet. Maybe it’s not even Adam.” Even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t likely.

Liz made a raspberry. “It’s him all right.” She glanced around her. “Is it too early to drink wine?”

“Maybe a little.” Still . . . “Nah, it’s four o’clock somewhere in the world.”

* * *

Nate tracked Daniel down at his apartment. Hammering on the door helped keep his anger down to a manageable level.

He had every set of eyes he could call on looking for Adam. The guy couldn’t have gone far. But he’d already checked out of his room at the resort and nobody had seen him. Sooner or later, though, he would have to come up for air, and Nate would be waiting for him when he did.

“What the hell?” Daniel wrenched open the door. His frown dropped when he saw Nate. “How’s Bella?”

“She’s fine.” He pushed into the apartment. What he had to say didn’t need to be yelled out in the hallway for everyone to hear. “My deputy took her home.”

“Good.” Gaze steady but wary, Daniel cocked his head. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“No.” Nate shut the door behind him. “And I want you to stay away from Bella.”

Daniel gaped at him and then gave a small, short laugh. “What?”

“Bella.” Nate ground the words out through his clenched jaw. His hold on his temper had gotten more tenuous as the day wore on. “Stay away from her. She doesn’t need any more shit right now.”

“I took her for coffee, Nate.” Daniel folded his arms. “I did what anybody else would do.”

“Seriously?” Temper spiking dangerously, Nate stepped closer. Did Daniel think he could fool him? Shit, they’d grown up together, gotten into enough shit together for Nate to know what the other man thought. Daniel might have changed, but that gleam in his eyes hadn’t. “I saw you today. And I’m telling you, stay away from Bella.”

As Nate had known he would, Daniel stood his ground. Triumph surged through him. He’d stopped by his house and changed out of his uniform before he went looking for Daniel. His official persona went with the uniform. It was him and Daniel now, and the rage burning a hole right through his brain.

“Just what is Bella to you anyway?” Daniel folded his arms.

If Daniel wanted to go there, Nate was more than ready, and he grabbed Daniel by the shirtfront. “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that she’s nothing to you. Nothing.”

“What the hell.” Daniel wrenched free of his hold. His shirt tore. “I’m not going to fight you, Nate.”

“Stay away from her.” Some part of his brain tried to grab control and tell him he was behaving like a complete dick. But the anger was louder.

“Is she yours?” Daniel stepped back, putting the tattered sofa between them.

Yes! The word pounded through his brain. He clamped his jaw shut before it spilled out.

“You need to chill the fuck out.” Daniel’s gaze hardened, but he kept his voice calm. “You came here looking for a fight. What happened? You couldn’t find that Adam guy?”

Nate balled his fists. The rational whisper grew louder. If he’d found Adam, he might not be quite so angry right now. Or at least he’d be venting his anger on the right person. Except what did he plan to do when he found Adam? Pound the hell out of him? Yeah, that would be police brutality.

“I’m not gonna fight you,” Daniel said again. “I’m on parole and I’m not going to screw that up for anyone.”

Nate’s shoulders slumped and he dragged in a deep breath. All day he’d been charging around like a crazed man.

Daniel moved closer. “Come on; you need a drink and I’ll keep you company while you have it.”

“Yeah.” Nate nodded. The anger burned away and left him feeling like a prick. He’d come here determined to pick a fight with a man who couldn’t afford to fight back. Driven by some caveman shit to stake a claim on a woman who wasn’t even his.

He shoved the idea of Bella to the back of his mind. Daniel had asked what she was to him and he didn’t have an answer. Not a clue. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he wished he could yank the crap out of his brain and make sense of it.

Following Daniel out of his apartment, he tried to get his head together. Today, the thing with Bella’s store had hit a nerve. A nerve he’d been covering up for so long, he’d almost forgotten it was still there.

“My last job. In Salt Lake.” Talking never came easy to him, but he owed Daniel this much. “Victim was a woman. It was bad.”

Daniel nodded. “And Bella?”

No way in hell was he going there. “Drop it.”

Daniel smirked. “Sure, I can drop it, but I think the real question is, can you?”