ChapterTwenty-Five
Nate lay beside her as the sun rose on Bella’s sleeping face. Her thick, dark lashes and pouty mouth were pure Disney. She slept curled into herself like a tiny bundle of candy.
The need to make sure she stayed safe and peaceful ached through his chest. Even now, he wanted to tuck her against him, keep himself between her and anything that might harm her. Shit! He uncurled and sat on the edge of the bed.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
He couldn’t offer any woman any of those things. Strong, protective, reliable—that wasn’t him; he was the family screwup. After his dad died and the family needed someone to step up, Matt had done it, and even Eric to a lesser extent. Him? The black sheep might have changed his outer ways, but he’d stayed rotten and broken to his core. He’d caused more trouble. Made things infinitely worse and nearly landed his ass in juvie. What he wouldn’t give to go back and not stress Matt to the breaking point, drive his mom to an overdose. But there was no going back, only forward, and try like hell not to screw up anymore. Best to stick to his kind. Women who didn’t want things he couldn’t give them.
Bella was white lace and forever, picket fences and preschool, with a man she could count on by her side. People didn’t count on Nate Evans.
If he had turned his life around to the point where the county trusted him, why couldn’t he be the man Bella needed? He froze and let that bit of crazy percolate through his spinning brain.
“Nate?” Bella touched his back.
This shit was getting so mixed up in his head, he leaped to his feet. “I’ll put some coffee on. Feel free to shower or whatever. There’s an extra toothbrush under the sink.”
He hotfooted it into the kitchen and got the coffee on. Down the hallway, heaven lay in his bed. Or the nearest a man like him could ever come to it. Wanting to take a layer of skin off, he scrubbed his hands over his face.
His history with women had never included anything like last night. Mostly, he tried not to think too much about his history with women. Before he’d learned—hook up and get the hell out before it got messy—he’d left plenty of broken hearts behind him. The idea of Bella hurting because of him soured his gut. For years he’d been patting himself on the back for his honesty. In the light of the pure thing Bella offered, it made him seem less like a hero and more like a coward, because as much as he tried to stamp on it, this what if flickered into life and blinked on and off like a faulty electrical circuit. What if he could be the man Bella deserved? And what if he broke her so bad he took the sweet out of her?
Filling in time, he got out some eggs and bacon and made her breakfast.
The pipes moaned as Bella turned the shower on. The sooner she realized he had nothing to offer, the better off she would be, which would leave him alone. But alone suddenly seemed like a bad place to be.
He was putting breakfast on the table when she pattered into the kitchen. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He managed to crank out a noncommittal smile.
Until he looked at her, and then his head scrambled again. Scrubbed clean, hair braided and wet, she looked like she had last night. Vulnerable, pure, and so beautiful it hit him like a rib punch.
She looked at the table. “You made breakfast?”
“Yeah.” He had to get away, clear his head and find clarity before he did something stupid. “Coffee’s over there. I need to get ready for work.”
“Nate.” Her voice stopped him at the kitchen door. “It’s all right, you know. I don’t expect anything from you.”
Why that made him feel like shit, he couldn’t say. “I know.”
* * *
Under Nate’s watchful eye, Bella opened the store three hours later than usual.
She’d barely managed to choke down enough of her breakfast to make his effort worthwhile. She didn’t need Dr. Childers to recognize a man in full retreat. Bitched the entire time about her opening the store but drove her over anyway. He’d even fetched her favorite coffee for her. All in the brooding silence that made her relieved when his cruiser finally backed into Main Street and drove off.
She leaned against the door and let the hurt roll through her. The problem with expectations was they hurt like hell when they weren’t met. Nate was Nate. He hadn’t changed much since first grade. Ten years from now, Nate would still be—surprise, surprise—Nate.
Yet, somehow, being with him put all those self-preservation thoughts into hibernation. Until the next morning. Even if she didn’t love the stupid man, watching your lover go into chew-his-arm-off retreat the next morning stung.
She called Pippa and told her about what had happened—the Adam part, not the Nate part. The Nate part still scraped raw inside her.
Pippa said enough of the right things to help Bella feel sort of all right. She had it firmly in place as Liz’s flashy red SUV pulled up outside the store.
Bella did a double take as Liz climbed out. Hair scraped back into a ponytail and sweatpants poking out from beneath an old parka.
She scurried into the store, slamming the door behind her. “Babe! I must be the best motherfucking friend on the planet to come out like this to see you.”
Yes, she was, and Bella grabbed her into a hug.
“Hey.” Liz hugged her back. “What’s with the PDA?”
She really couldn’t talk about it. She had to sniff a little as she pulled back. “What brings you out in sweatpants? I didn’t even know you owned any.”
“I’ll deny it if you tell anyone.” Liz strolled into the store. She flipped through a rack of dresses. “So, last night?”
Bella knew a clever deflection when she saw one. “How about you tell me what’s going on with you?”
“I’m not going to talk about me after what happened to you last night.” Liz stopped clacking hangers together. “How’re you doing?”
“Okay.” Bella chased dust bunnies out from beneath the racks. “Trying not to think about it.” She fixed Liz with a stare. “A good friend would take my mind off it by telling me what’s going on with her.”
“This is the problem with having friends.” Liz threw herself onto the chaise. “People get to know you.”
“Uh-huh.” Bella turned on her register and grabbed up her duster. “They also know when you’re stalling.”
Laughing, Liz tucked her legs up beneath her. “It’s Noel. He’s driving me batcrap crazy. After what happened to you last night, I swear the man thinks he’s going to be my knight in shining armor or something.”
“In what way?” Keeping to her dusting, because Liz would be more comfortable that way.
Liz dropped her face into her hands and growled. “He’s so . . . determined.”
“To get you back?”
“Uh-huh.” Liz propped her chin on her palm and looked so much like a tween, Bella had to smile. “And I was so sure I wasn’t going to go there with him. Even for the sex. And girl”—Liz raised a brow—“the sex was awesome. That man is hung—”
“You told me.”
“Well.” Liz huffed. “It bears repeating. Donkey!”
“Somehow I sense that’s not the problem.”
“Well, look at you.” Liz sat back. “All sassy and mouthy. A couple of trips around our hot sheriff ’s bedroom and you’re a new woman.”
Her chest ached and she swallowed. “We’re not talking about me.”
“Now.” Liz pointed a royal-blue talon. “We’re not talking about you now. But once we’re done with me . . .”
“Okay.” Because fighting with Liz was like holding back the tide with one hand tied behind your back. “Noel is driving you crazy.”
“He’s there all the time. I get home and he’s waiting for me.” Liz jerked straight. “Not like your psycho . . . shit . . . I mean, Adam.”
“I know that.”
“He wants to spend time with me. He wants to be with me and he’s making it impossible to say no.”
Bella took a seat beside her. “So what’s stopping you from saying yes?”
Liz gaped at her. “Are you kidding me right now? That man hurt me. He slept with a friend of mine while I was going through chemotherapy.”
Yeah; Bella couldn’t put a positive spin on that. “What does he say about that?”
“This is the shitty part.” Liz sighed. “He makes no excuses. He tells me he’s sorry. Apparently, it scared him when I got sick and he did a stupid thing. He swears nothing like that will ever happen again. That he loves me.”
“And you?” Bella said slowly. Liz seemed so fragile.
“I’ve never stopped loving him.” Liz’s shoulders slumped and she looked beaten. “I dealt with the cancer. The feeling sick all the time with the treatment. But Noel . . .” Her voice wobbled. “He broke me, Bella.”
Screw Liz and her boundaries. Bella wrapped her arms around her. “No, he didn’t, because here you are. Still standing and telling the story.”
“Just barely.” Liz sniffed. “I really don’t know if I can go there again.”
“You don’t have to. This is your choice.” Look at her with all the great advice she didn’t use herself.
Liz growled again. “I know what the smart thing to do is. Yet there’s this other side of me that’s still pining away for the dickhead.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “And I so don’t want to be that girl. The one who’s always whining about her shitty man but goes right back to him time and time again.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not that girl.”
“But I’m doing a damn fine impersonation.” Liz snorted. “Sometimes I want to bitch-slap everyone with ovaries. Myself included.”
“Let’s blame it on the ovaries.” Bella propped her feet on the coffee table. “Want me to do something about the sweatpants aesthetic?”
Liz straightened and scowled around the store. “What are you offering?”
“Sackcloth and ashes?”
The bell over the door jangled and Phi swept in, looking like Big Bird reloaded, as she trailed scarlet feathers behind her. “Darling girl!” She paused in the doorway, then swept Bella into a patchouli-scented hug. “What a terrible, terrible time you’ve been having. I rushed straight over the moment Pippa told me.”
Bella stood still as Phi scrutinized her. No choice really; Phi would only let her go when she was good and ready.
A tall black man stood behind Phi, shoulders so wide they blocked out Bella’s view of the street. Hands crossed in front of him, he wore a white button-down and a precisely pressed pair of khakis. He made it look like a three-piece suit.
Never slow to notice any hovering hotness, Liz unfolded from the divan. “Well, hello there.”
The man looked at Liz’s outstretched hand for a beat before giving it a shake.
Phi gave a gusty sigh. “Isn’t he lovely?” She nudged Bella. “All tall, dark, and deadly.”
“Hi.” Bella waved from Phi’s clutch around her shoulders.
The man nodded. His gaze swept the store, and she got the feeling it took him no more than that to assess every item in it.
“Pippa is worried sick about you.” Phi let go of Bella long enough to flap her hands. “Poor thing. She is quite overwrought.”
“Is she okay?” Bella hated the idea of pregnant Pippa doing anything but concentrating on that new baby.
“You know Pippa.” Phi swept over to the rack of dresses. “She soldiers on, and dear Lord, is this not the most heavenly color?” She held up a cobalt-blue wrap dress about six sizes short of the diva’s impressive bosom. “This color would be heavenly with my sapphires, don’t you think?”
Bella searched her mind for a good answer and came up short.
Tall, dark, and deadly almost smiled.
“You know it.” Liz grinned at Phi.
“Anyway,” Phi racked the dress, “I’ve been tossing and turning about you, Bella, ma fée. And of course about my poor, dear enceinte Pippa.” One hand to her bosom, the other on the rack, she trilled. “And then it came to me.”
Liz gaped at Phi.
Bella didn’t blame her. Those pipes had brought royalty to its knees in Phi’s time. She knew the diva well enough, however, for her skin to itch. “What came to you, Phi?”
“My darling Simeon,” Phi said, as if she’d pulled an SUV out of a hat. “Simeon, meet the beleaguered Bella.”
“Simon,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you. Phi’s told me a lot about you.” Bella just bet Phi had, and was that a Bronx accent?
Phi floated over to a jewelry display and snatched up a sparkly choker. “Is this not too divine?”
“Yeah.” Ready to enjoy the show, Liz settled back on the divan with a grin.
“Of course I didn’t think of Simeon first.” Phi preened in front of the mirror with the choker held to her neck. “First I thought of his most delicious father.” She paused, eyes cast up. “I still have dreams about that man.”
Simon flinched. So tiny a movement, Bella almost missed it.
“Tell us about the dreams.” Liz tucked her legs beneath her.
“The dreams.” Phi shivered. “Such vivid details. There is the one that begins on a beach with a magnificent white stallion pounding through the surf.”
“Phi knew my dad,” Simon said.
“On his back is my darling Timothy. Naked.”
“Naked is good.” Liz propped her chin on her fists.
Simon took a deep breath.
Bella took pity on him. “So, you’re new in town?”
He nodded.
“By all the saints!” Phi wheeled about. “I almost forgot the point of my being here.”
That happened a lot. Bella shared a look with Simon that told her he knew that too.
“Simeon and I have long been acquainted. Almost from the moment of his birth. Not his actual birth.” Phi gesticulated. “But his rebirth as a modern-day warrior.”
“Phi helped me get into a college and then Quantico,” Simon said.
Liz bounced liked a three-year-old on sugar. “A Fed.”
“Not anymore.” Shutters slammed down around Simon.
“Do you see, Bella?” Phi wafted over and put her arm about Bella and Simon. She looked at Bella eagerly.
Bella didn’t see.
“I have hired you a champion, a paladin.”
Simon almost smiled again. “I’m your protection detail.”
“Protection detail?” Bella felt all kinds of stupid as she stared up at Simon.
Liz exploded from the couch. “A bodyguard! Bella, you’ve got a bodyguard.”
“No, I don’t.”
“It’s the perfect solution.” Phi whipped her head around before bustling away. “Lord preserve us! Are those the gowns over there?”
Bella stared at Simon.
He stared at her. “I understand you’re having some trouble with a stalker.”
Bella knew what roadkill felt like. Phi had flattened her. “Yes. No. I mean, I do have a stalker, but the sheriff is handling it.”
“That’s not all the sheriff is handling.” Liz spread her arms over the divan back.
Bella’s face went radioactive.
Nothing from Simon.
A throaty chuckle from Phi. “You bad girl.” She waggled a finger at Liz. “Simeon! I simply must introduce you to darling Elizabeth. Does she not have the most divine breasts?”
“Pleased to meet you.” Simon nodded at Liz.
“Hi.” Liz gave him an evil grin. “They’re not real, you know. Want to get a closer look?”
Phi snickered.
“Pippa briefed me.” Simon glanced at Phi. “He broke into your house?”
“Yesterday.”
Simon frowned. “Phi called me at about 5 a.m. Asked me to get here ASAP.”
“Phi shouldn’t have.” Phi really, really shouldn’t have. Bella tried to find the words to tell her so, but the diva meant so well. Everything she did came from that huge heart of hers. “I really don’t need a bodyguard. I don’t think I can afford one.”
“I come prepaid.” Simon nodded. “Phi asked and here I am.”
“This is silly.” Bella wanted to squirm.
“Maybe. But while I’m here, why don’t I have a look around?” He smiled. “I may as well; have you ever known anyone to successfully say no to the diva?”