18
One week earlier…
I woke up the morning after the benefit dinner with one thought in my mind.
I’m tired of this shit.
I didn’t like the feeling of not being in control of the direction my life was going in. I wanted Doc, and I wanted her bad, and hell, she obviously wanted me, too, but we couldn’t have each other because of the actions of some asshole named Robert Mattison. This asshole was not only making this whole divorce thing drag on, he was also making Doc miserable. I could see it in her eyes. Hear it in her voice. He was breaking her down. And that? That made me want to tear some shit up. She was a good woman, kind and caring. Had probably taken way too much off of this ingrate before she left him, and I suppose he was doing what he was doing because she’d stopped taking shit from him.
My mind started going places I’d shut it off from years ago. I mean, I started having some extremely fucked up thoughts about dude. And after a day of obsessing over the whole situation, I knew I had to do something. I had to fix this for her and for me.
*****
I sat in the dark for hours, waiting, biding my time, exercising a level of patience that was rare for me in situations like this. When I finally heard the garage door open and a car pull into it, I scooted to the edge of the chair in anticipation. Clasped my hands together because I was almost too excited, too ready.
The kitchen door opened, and I heard him mumble, “I thought I left this light on.” Before he could flip the switch, Rell stepped out of a corner and knocked him out with one blow to his head.
*****
Three hours later, I sat in his kitchen glaring at Rell, who just looked at me. “Damn, did your heavy-handed ass kill him?” I asked. “He should’ve woken up by now.”
Rell shrugged.
I sighed, leaned back in my chair, and shook my head when Rell pointed at the sink. “Nah, water will only work if you uncover his face. I don’t wanna uncover his face yet.”
Rell seemed to think about this for a second and then shrugged again. After another hour passed of this dude still being unconscious, I instructed Rell to dash his ass with water and quickly cover his face again.
That woke him up.
His shirt was wet as he gasped under the black hood, and yelled, “What the hell? What…where am I?”
“You’re in the comfort of your home,” I said softly. He was only sitting a few feet in front of me, and he sounded and looked terrified as he jerked his covered head toward my voice.
“Who…who are you?”
“You don’t know me. You don’t need to know me. All you need to do is listen.”
“Hey, look. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t have a lot of money. You can have what I have, though. And you can take the TVs or whatever else you want.”
“I don’t want your shit.”
“W-what do you want then, man?” He sounded like he was about to cry, or was already crying. I knew he was a bitch ass…
“I want you to listen.”
“Look, I haven’t seen you, so why don’t you just go and we’ll act like this didn’t happen and you won’t get arrested for holding me hostage.”
I nodded at Rell, who snatched the thick black hood off his face.
His eyes met mine for a second before he squeezed them shut, and said, “Shit! Please, man!”
I stared at his weak ass for a moment. A long moment. So long that he opened his eyes and whimpered, “What do you want?”
“I want you to stop fucking with Renee.”
His eyes widened. “What? She sent you here? That bitch must’ve lost her mind!”
My eyes shot to Rell, who was already on him, waiting for me to give him the go-ahead to slap the shit out of him. So I did.
In response, Renee’s midget-ass husband yelped.
“You wanna call her a bitch again?” I asked.
“N-no.”
“Apologize for that shit.”
“I’m-I’m sorry.”
“No, say, ‘I’m sorry for calling Renee a bitch, because I’m the bitch.’”
He frowned. “What?”
I sighed and looked at Rell. “I guess his ass can’t hear now. Wanna help him out?”
Rell lifted his hand to slap him on the other side of his face, and Renee’s husband screamed, “Wait, wait! Can you repeat it? I-I didn’t quite get it all.”
“I’m sorry for calling Renee a bitch, because I’m the bitch,” I said slowly.
He repeated the phrase word for word.
“Very good. Glad to see you can follow directions, because I have a few more for you, so listen carefully.”
He nodded, and then I noticed him tugging on the zip ties that bound his wrists to the chair. I shook my head, and muttered, “This motherfucker is trying to get loose.”
Rell sighed and thumped the fool on the back of the head. He yelped again and then started crying big old crocodile tears.
“Robert—is it okay to call you Robert?”
He nodded vigorously.
“Robert, my associate here is a very strong man. Until now, I’ve tried to be patient with you by holding him back. I’ve tried to be nice, but you’re beginning to piss me off and it’s getting harder and harder for me to even want to restrain him. So you better sit your ass there and listen. Only listen, nothing else. I mean you better sit your ass there and act like I’m one of those pornos you undoubtedly watch all the time, because you just look like the type who would have a woman as fine as Renee and still be watching porn like a damn moron. I mean, how do you let a woman with a pussy that sweet leave your ass?”
His mouth fell open and he blinked so many times, I almost thought he was having a seizure. He wanted to say something so bad it was killing him, but he was so damn scared he quickly shut his mouth.
I smiled. “Mmm, my mouth is watering just thinking about her pussy. It smells good, too. Don’t you agree, Robert?”
He frowned slightly, but didn’t speak.
“DON’T YOU AGREE, MOTHERFUCKER?!” I shouted.
“You ate my wife’s pussy?” he asked. I guess he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I ate the shit out of it, and I would like to eat it again. But your ass is keeping that from happening, and that really upsets me, Robert.”
“Uh…”
“And you didn’t answer my question, so I have to assume you disagree and you don’t think her pussy smells good, and I don’t like it when people disagree with me.”
“No, no! It does smell good, real good. I love the way it smells.”
“Doesn’t it?” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and clasping my hands together. “Hey, you know what else I love about it? It’s bald. Not a hair on that motherfucker. Woo, shit! Now that really makes my dick stand at attention!”
“Sh-she still shaves it?”
“Yeah! You miss her pussy, Robert?”
“Yeah, I really do,” he confided.
“Wish you could have some more of it?”
“Yeah. I love Renee’s pussy. I told her that.”
I raised an eyebrow at Rell, who punched him in the gut this time.
“Don’t you even think about her pussy again, do you hear me?! Erase that sweet, tight, good-smelling motherfucker from your damn memory!”
“What do you want from meeeee?” he wailed.
“Glad you asked. I want you to leave her the hell alone. Stop fucking with her. Sign the damn divorce papers. Give her whatever she wants. I don’t give a fuck if she wants custody of your damn nuts. You better cut them bitches off and hand them to her with a smile on your face. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”
“And you better get on this shit as soon as your lawyer gets to his office in the morning. You have one week. One…fucking…week to get this done, and I mean I want it finished. Finalized. I have a judge who’s willing to sign off on it ASAP.”
He nodded. “Okay. Whatever you want.”
“And understand this, you tell no one about me being here today. If you call the police, I’ll know it. If you talk about this shit in your sleep, I’ll know it. If you even think about what happened here tonight, I will know it. And your ass will not like the consequences of me knowing it. I will wake you up out of your sleep dead in the middle of the night and fuck you up! I don’t give a damn if you move to Iceland, I will find you.”
“Okay, okay!”
“Robert, I want you to be clear about something. The only reason your ass is not dead right now is because I want Renee, and I want her bad. I don’t have time for her to mourn you. So you get to live. Consider it a gift.”
His eyes were wide as he stared at me.
“You don’t think you should thank me for my generosity, motherfucker?”
“Yeah…th-th-thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And one last thing, don’t you open your mouth to say another thing to Renee for the rest of your life. I mean, if I find out you even said hi to her, I’m coming back. I’m going to disable that weak-ass alarm again and be sitting here waiting on your ass, and next time, things won’t be so pleasant for you.”
“O-okay.”
“I prefer ‘yes, sir.’”
“Y-yes, sir.”
“Good! See, that wasn’t so bad, little man, was it?”
He hesitantly shook his head.
“One week. One damn week. One.”
“Yes, sir. One week,” he repeated.
I sat there and stared at him for a few minutes, just to make him uncomfortable, and then I nodded at Rell who knocked him out again, cut the zip ties from his wrists and ankles, and drove me home.