Waking up next to Vicky is absolutely magical. Everything I had hoped it would be. I was determined last night to use the opportunity facilitated by Michelle who, by putting us in the same room to bunk down, was clearly creating the opening for me to get closer to Vicky. Once we were alone, though, my worst fear was either coming on too strong by misjudging the situation and blowing any opportunity I may have had; I could just imagine Vicky slapping me across the face in anger and ordering me out of the room. “Get off me Chris, what on earth do you think you are doing?”, or worse still not being forthright enough with my feelings and slipping into the quicksand of the ‘friend zone’, a place that is almost impossible to climb out of once there and is a path I sensed we were already travelling down.
No, I needed her to see me as the man that I am. The man who deeply desires her, but who does so in a gentle, respectful way. Ultimately, to be sure she would reciprocate any approach I needed her to come to me. I would never force myself on her physically but once she leaned in to give me that first kiss, I was able to unleash my passion. To show her how serious I am about her. So waking up this morning in each other’s arms, I am so so happy that she warmed to my advances and although the setting was far from the romantic ideal I would have envisioned for my seduction (an airbed on my sister’s living room floor!) in the end it didn’t matter as we spent the night getting closer and closer to each other.
Although things did get pretty heated at one point, I held back and didn’t allow things to go any further because I know she’s still technically involved with Jeremy, and despite the obvious passion which threatened to consume both of us, I didn’t want her to wake up this morning being any more conflicted than she already is. He’s due to come over this afternoon to hang out with us all, and although inwardly I feel quite smug that I’ve managed to draw her away from him, I can only appreciate how difficult today is going to be for Vicky to manage.
“You’ll need to give me time Chris,” she’d said to me at some point in the early hours whilst we were lying in each other’s arms. “I need to find the right moment to break it off with him, and this afternoon when we won’t have any time to be alone is not fair on him. He’s really into me. He’s told me he loves me, so can we cool it please, at least until I’ve spoken to him? He’s going to be hurt, and I need to find a way to let him down gently.”
“Of course,” I say reassuringly. “Just don’t take too long. I’ve wanted you from the very first moment I saw you, Vicky. The instant I set eyes on you that afternoon in your office, I knew then that you belong in my arms, so of course I’ll be patient, but please put the poor guy out of his misery sooner rather than later.”
She looks over at me sharply and I can’t work out if she’s annoyed or flattered. “You wanted me from the very first moment you saw me? So seducing me last night was all just part of your master plan? To get laid while you were over here on holiday, fill in a bit of time while you’re travelling, and I just happened to be the first girl you met. I’m just another notch on your bedpost?” She’s clearly annoyed and that’s obviously not what I meant.
“No, not at all, you great big goose,” I try to lighten the tone as I wrap my arms around her once again. “You don’t understand at all, do you? I had absolutely no intentions of getting involved with anyone while I was here, but the minute I saw you, the absolute second I laid my eyes on you, Vicky, everything changed. I knew instantly I wanted to hold you and smell your sweet body next to mine, to kiss your soft beautiful lips,” I lean in and kiss her gently as if to emphasise my point, “to make you mine.” I finish my monologue with another tender kiss, so she appreciates the sincerity of my words. I mean what I’m saying. I mean every word. I’ve never felt an intensity like this for anyone before.
“I’m not sure what to make of all of this, Chris… to make of you… to make of us,” she gestures in a circular motion indicating the two of us. “You’ve had weeks to process this, to plan this. This has all just happened for me in one night and it’s all very overwhelming. All my common sense is telling me that we shouldn’t get involved, that we should just stay friends and not make things complicated. Meanwhile, my body is loving being here next to you, but my mind is racing with a million, billion, unanswered questions. We live on opposite sides of the planet for God’s sake. I may not be in love with my boyfriend, but I know he’s in love with me and I have no idea how to handle that. You don’t even have a proper job for fuck’s sake. I feel like we’ve just opened Pandora’s box, or should I say you have. Can you see why I’m so messed up? You decided weeks ago that you were going to make this happen, you’ve had time to adjust.”
“Well that’s not actually 100% accurate,” I interject. “In Greece I decided I was going to let it go, to let you go, even before anything got started.”
“Really? Why?” She turns her head sharply towards me. Based on what already happened last night between us, this new information clearly surprises her.
“Lots of reasons, including some of the things you’ve just said. I was driving myself crazy every time I was anywhere near you but couldn’t be with you, and even more so when I had to watch you with him. I wasn’t sure you would be interested in me. Like you, I have absolutely no idea what the future will hold, and Mellie even warned me away from you, the very first night I came to stay with you both in Wotton Bassett.”
“Mel did what? Why would she do that?”
“Oh, she wasn’t being nasty or anything. She just didn’t want me to screw things up between you and Jeremy. She thinks he’s good for you.”
“Well I see you clearly took her warning seriously - not!”
“Even though my instincts were clearly correct,” I say as I tap the end of her nose with my index finger, “I wasn’t confident you would want me, but despite the decision I’d made in Greece, as soon as I saw you again last night, Vicky, when you walked through the door with Mellie, my heart just stopped and I knew it was now or never. I have a feeling Michelle thought the same which is why she engineered it for us to sleep in the same room.”
“So you are in cahoots with her? I had wondered if this was all part of some master plan between you two.”
“No, not officially. She’s only ever quizzed me once, after the first weekend in Wootton Basset at the barbecue and I attempted to brush her suspicions aside. I didn’t want her gossiping to either you or Mellie. But she’s laser sharp is our Mich, and I know she’s spotted me eyeing you up on more than one occasion. I can only assume by unofficially setting us up, she must also approve.”
“Well I’m really pleased she did, and I’m really pleased you took the opportunity, Chris, even though I’m still not sure I’m not going to wake up tomorrow morning and find this was all a dream. Lying here next to you, just feels so comfortable, so easy, I just feel all warm and fuzzy inside, so whatever happens next, I’m really pleased you stepped up tonight and made a move.”
“I know. This just feels so natural Vicky. Like it’s meant to be” I say, leaning in to kiss her again, “and this is a dream … only one that’s just getting started. But just for the record, you made the first move. I seem to remember you kissed me first.” She punches me playfully on the chest. We both know she kissed me first but only because I had manoeuvred myself to be that close to her and had made my intentions clear.
To comply with her request to keep things cool between us until she’s had an opportunity to break it off with Jeremy, I climb back into the sleeping bag on the sofa before Michelle or anyone else has the chance to barge into the room the next morning. True to form, bang on 8am, Mich arrives unannounced carrying two cups of tea. I’m wondering if she was hoping to catch us up to no good. To see if her matchmaking plan had worked.
“Good mornin’, good mornin’,
We’ve talked the whole night through,
Good morning, good mornin’, to you.”
Michelle sings the first few lines from the Singing in the Rain tune, as she almost dances into the room passing out the cups of tea, the lyrics laden with hidden meaning.
“Morning, sis. Sleep well?” I ask.
“Like a log,” she responds. “Never heard a thing,” she winks knowingly at me as she passes me a mug of tea, the steaming vapour snaking up off the top of the hot liquid before disappearing into thin air.
From across the room, Vicky raises her eyebrows at me as she holds her mug of tea with both hands.
“Join the queue for the shower guys. I’m putting the bacon on now. Sarnies in 15 minutes,” she says, twirling around dramatically before dancing out of the room singing,
“Love is in the air, everywhere I look around…”
She leaves the meaning of the well-known lyric from yet another memorable tune hanging in the air between Vicky and I as she closes the door behind her. I look up and smile.
“Play it cool,” Vicky reminds me sternly, “until I’ve spoken to Jeremy.”
“Speaking of which, what time is he due to arrive and spoil all my fun?”
“Around midday,” she says picking up her journal from inside her bag. Clicking the top of a biro she flicks to a blank page and begins to write. Her looped handwriting quickly filling a few lines. Her eyes still on the page she continues, “He said he would come with us to the cinema this afternoon but can’t stay for the party tonight as he has a work thing he can’t get out of. Then he plans to come back over again tomorrow for the picnic. But look, I may not get him on his own today or tomorrow, so you’re just going to have to give me, give him and I, some space, OK?”
Carefully I glide down to the floor to lie next to her again, back into the same position that we started in last night. Leaning up on one elbow, my free hand gently caressing her waist I crane my neck attempting to strain over the top of the notebook and read what she’s writing. She tilts the book back in towards her chest away from me.
“What ya got there?” I ask.
“Just my journal,” she replies matter-of-factly.
“And what are you saying about last night?” I ask inquisitively. “Chris is an amazing kisser and I can’t wait for today to be over until we can lock lips again tonight?” I tease in mock drama.
“Well that’s for me to know and you to wonder, isn’t it?”
“Not if I steal it one day and read all your dirty secrets.”
“If you ever do that, Chris. This…” she circles her arm to indicate she means the two of us, “…will be over before it gets started. It’s just somewhere I dump my thoughts and feelings. Especially when I’m struggling to make sense of stuff. But what I write in here is private. Understood?”
“Of course,” I reply solemnly. “I was only teasing. I would never do that, Vicky.”
“I’m just thinking about how I’m going to handle today,” she says, chewing the end of her pen. “It’s not going to be easy. You’re going to have to give me some space.”
“Well it’s not the first time I’ve had to watch you with him, but just before I lose you to him again, even for a short time, let me remind you why you’re mine now.” I take the book gently from her, folding it closed and placing it on the floor beside her.
It takes all my willpower to hold back for a moment so that I can look at her face in the morning sunlight. I lean in and share my passion with her once again, kissing her slowly, tenderly, as I feel her soften and yield willingly. There is no feeling like it in the world. Feeling your woman softening into you. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like to claim her fully. I’m rock hard with anticipation of what’s still to come.
“Mine now… is that right, Chris?!” she says, sounding slightly offended the softness leaving her momentarily. “We spend a few hours together, snogging the face of each other and you’ve already staked your claim. I’m not something to own, you know, Chris,” she says firmly.
“I know. I didn’t mean it like that,” I laugh nervously, “what I meant is, now we’ve come this far, I have no intention of letting you get away from me. Not ever.”
few hours later, everyone is showered, dressed, fuelled up with tea and bacon sandwiches and we all head out to the local cinema. Jeremy arrived as planned and I wince inwardly as I watch Vicky giving him an awkward hug as they greet each other. I noticed that she turned her head to the side when he leaned in to kiss her, I assume so that she can avoid kissing him on the lips. This pleases me greatly and confirms my initial hunch that she was never really into him, that she definitely doesn’t love him, and she has no intention of going back to him, but I already sense how uncomfortable today is going to be for her.
David, Michelle’s boyfriend, has also arrived and we all head up to the Odeon in Richmond, leaving Mum behind who has volunteered to prepare the food for this evening. So, the six of us, Vicky and I, Mellie, Michelle and David and of course, Dickhead, all leave in plenty of time to catch the afternoon showing. As it’s Michelle’s birthday, we’ve agreed she can pick the film and she decides on Four Weddings and a Funeral, which has been out for a few weeks now but still the number one film at the moment. It wouldn’t have been my first choice, but all the girls are cooing and aahing over the prospect of watching a romcom, and if it means I get to sit next to Vicky in the dark for 90 minutes, even if Dickhead is on the other side of her, I would have willingly volunteered to watch paint dry.
However, as we’re preparing to purchase our tickets, Jeremy turns to Vicky and asks, “I really don’t want to go and see this. Would you prefer to see something else, Victoria? Personally, I really wanted to see Arnie in True Lies. I’ve heard it’s very funny.”
“Well, I’ve heard that Four Weddings is also really funny,” she sounds annoyed.
“Yes, but this is action as well. To be honest. I just don’t fancy Four Weddings. Far too soppy for my liking.”
“Well to be honest, Jeremy” she mirrors his choice of words back to him, but I notice that her tone is sharper than he was with her, “I don’t fancy True Lies or anything else for that matter. It’s Michelle’s birthday, she’s chosen the film, and I’m sticking with it, and I’m actually loving the idea of watching something light-hearted and soppy but if you want to go and see something else I’m not going to stop you. Once the lights are down we’re all just basically sitting in the dark anyway, so do what you want.”
And with that she walks off, leaving Jeremy standing idle in the middle of the foyer, his jaw wide open in shock. I almost feel sorry for the poor guy as I assume that is the first rebuke he’s ever had from his girlfriend, which to him would have come completely out of the blue, but I still have to put my hand over my mouth to stifle a snigger.
“Wow,” is all I can say once I catch up to her and the rest of the group, who all appear to have abandoned Jeremy who’s now making his way to a screen on the opposite side of the complex, his pride obviously not letting him back down.
“Don’t, Chris,” she warns me quietly, just out of earshot of the rest of the gang. “I’m only just holding my shit together.”
“Ah, is that what you call that? Holding it together,” I say light-heartedly.
“Definitely,” she breaks into a smile, “you should see me when I really lose it. Tsunamis having nothing on me. Seriously though, I’m feeling terribly guilty and mad at myself and with him. Myself for letting things go too far with him. I should have broken it off before now. I’m mad at myself for letting things get so complicated with you before doing the right thing by him, and I’m mad with him, because how can he be that blind to not realise that I’m just not that into him? Also, on some level, I think I feel very sorry for him, whilst at the same time, I also can’t be bothered with him. I just don’t want to have to deal with him - with our situation. I wish I could just make him disappear.”
“You’re doing great. Stop overthinking everything,” I say encouragingly. “Just hold it together. It won’t be long before we’re alone again tonight and I’ll remind you of why you’re in this difficult position,” giving her my best cheeky grin. “Remember it’s only for today or the next few days at the very most.”
“OK, I know,” she replies with a deep heavy sigh.
“I hope I’m doing the right thing, Chris. You’re not going to turn into another person who ends up breaking my heart are you?” We’re still whispering to each other just out of earshot of the rest of the group, her eyes looking up and pleading with mine. I feel a physical ache in the middle of my chest looking at the sadness etched across her face.
“I promise, Vicky. Cross my heart and hope to die,” I say, whilst making the sign of the cross on my chest. I would have liked to have continued this conversation, and reassure her even more so, but now is not the time, nor is this the right place. However, I vow to make sure she knows how much she means to me, and that I promise to keep her heart safe. I’ll not just tell her. I plan to show her as soon as we are alone together later.
Once inside the cinema it wasn’t hard to manoeuvre myself into the seat next to Vicky. Michelle and David sit together, Mellie plonks down next to Mich, Vicky next to her and I sit on the aisle on Vicky’s right. As soon as the lights go down, even though we’re not touching each other, the air between us is electric, like two highly charged magnets pulling towards each other. I know she can feel it as well, it’s too intense not to. After only a few minutes whilst we’re watch Hugh Grant’s character make his embarrassing attempt at a best man’s speech, I simply can’t resist stroking the side of her leg, the urge to touch her overwhelms me. Rather than stop me she loosely drapes her fingers in mine, our fingers intertwined as we tenderly stroke each other’s hands. We hold our clasped hands between the seats, out of view, so that it’s not obvious should Mellie or anyone else look over in our direction. I can hardly contain myself or comprehend how much the simple act of holding hands means to me. It validates that what happened last night, what is happening now, is real and not just a one-off and my heart fills with joy.
I can see Vicky’s face in profile, glowing from the light projected from the cinema screen. I watch as she laughs at the very British humour, some of which is lost on me. I love her laugh, her whole face lights up and her beauty shines outwards. Every second that I spend with her, even in this cinema-induced silence, increases my connection to her. I already know that I’m deeply in love with her. Overnight she has become the centre of my universe, my entire purpose for being. She may be feeling that things are moving very fast, but for me they’re not moving fast enough. It’s a charming film, a very easy watch, full of mush and romance and the girls clearly enjoyed it which is the main thing.
Jeremy doesn’t come back to the flat after the films finish as he needs to head out for his work thing. He’s taking some of his clients out for the evening. I can see that he’s trying extra hard to connect with Vicky as we all emerge from our different screens.
“So, did you enjoy it? Was it as good as everyone says it is?” he asks Vicky hopefully.
“Absolutely… all love and soppy romance. You obviously would have hated it, but I loved it,” she replies coldly. “Did you enjoy watching Arnie blowing up half the planet?”
“It was OK, but I missed having you there,” he says as he attempts to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her into his side.
“Well you made your choice clear.” She grabs his hand from behind her body, expertly removing it from behind her waist, so that she is holding it down the side of her body between them both. It’s yet another clear rebuke of his affection. I see David raise his eyebrow at Mich as he turns away from the circle of friends, shuffling uncomfortably from foot to foot clearly feeling embarrassed for Jeremy.
“Hey, Victoria. What’s with the sharp tone? Is everything alright?” he says quietly bending down towards her ear.
Everyone is feeling the tension between the two of them, but no one wants to move.
“Yes. I’m fine. Look, just go and I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” and with that she leans up towards him, and plants the briefest of kisses on him. Like a kiss you would give your mother.
“Well if you’re sure you’re OK?”
“I’m absolutely fine. Just tired that’s all. It’s been a long week at work.”
“Enjoy the rest of your evening, guys. Sorry I can’t be with you. I’ll see you all again tomorrow. I reckon I’ll be over by about 10am if that’s OK?”
“Perfect,” Michelle says on everyone’s behalf as Jeremy turns and heads towards the nearest tube station, his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans and his shoulders hunched over.
As we head back to the flat all I want to do is wrap my arms around Vicky and ask her if she’s OK. Clearly she’s not, but instead she links arms with Mellie and the pair yack away, choosing to ignore the obvious elephant in the room, and instead share their opinions on the film and who they’re hoping to see at the party later. All I can think about are the hours that stretch seemingly endlessly between now and when I get Vicky all to myself once again.
It’s 2am before the last person leaves. It’s been a raucous night and great fun. Much alcohol was consumed. Mum did a fantastic job with the spread and once the ‘important’ people left, ie Michelle’s work colleagues, who she would never want to show herself up in front of, someone suggested we play some drinking games. So a few rounds of ‘ibble dibble’ later, the ones of us who were left, spent the rest of the night fooling around like children, bent double in uncontrollable fits of giggles, charcoal dots all over our faces. Vicky was evidently more relaxed than she’d been in the afternoon following the tense encounter with Jeremy. Even if we weren’t on the cusp of a fledgling relationship and she was still wanting to be with him, I doubt she would be mucking around in such a fun-loving way if Jeremy was here now.
Mum has already headed to bed. Tonight, she’s topping and tailing with Mellie in the single bed, as David has naturally taken the other side of Michelle’s bed. I impatiently wait for everyone to leave us alone in the living room, before finally, I have Vicky all to myself again. I don’t even attempt any pretence that I’m going to sleep on the sofa even though I lay the sleeping bag out the same as I did last night. Vicky holds open the covers to her made-up bed on the living room floor.
“Were you planning on joining me?” she asks.
“Well only if you promise not to seduce me.”
“What kind of girl do you take me for?” She overdramatises her response, one hand held in mock offence across her chest but as soon as the house goes quiet we slide under the covers on the air bed together. It seems the most natural thing in the world to be so close to each other. Not awkward at all. Once again, I feel Vicky’s body soften next to mine as we kiss each other picking up where we left off last night. Despite the amount of alcohol we’ve both consumed and the lack of sleep last night, neither of us appear ready for sleep.
“God that was so hard this afternoon,” she says, leaning up to look at me. “As soon as he touched me, I felt my body recoil instantly. Like walking across the carpet in the dead of the night and accidentally standing on something cold, wet and slimy. Hideous.” She visibly shivers at the thought. “The difference between that and how this feels with you now is like night and day, Chris. What on earth have you done to me?” she runs her hand through my hair as she speaks.
“What have I done to you? More like what have you done to me?” I bury myself into her shoulder and hold her close. “I’m just as scared and unsure as you are Vicky. I’ve never felt like this before either, but you need to stop overthinking everything. Just relax, will you.”
I’ve rolled on top of her now, and very slowly I peel back the corner of her light pink satin pyjama top revealing the pure cream smooth skin of her shoulder which I lean forward and kiss very gently, my lips tracing the curve of her neck. She arches her back in response to my touch as she breathes in sharply, the outline of her taut buds that stand proudly on top of her perfectly pert mounds, clearly visible through the silky material, simply begging to be nibbled and sucked. Her skin tastes so sweet and she smells so good my desire for her is so all- consuming that I find I can’t hold back anymore. Judging by her response, the quickening of her breath, which comes now in shallow rapid succession and the way she reaches for me, sliding her hands up my back, inside my t-shirt, pulling it urgently up over my head, neither can she. It’s not long before we’re both naked and making love, her hot wet core receiving me willingly, as we join as one. And in that moment as we hold each other close and although neither of us says anything to the other, we both know our lives have just changed forever.