We walk silently for a little while, just taking in Sellersville.

It’s a ghost town after dark. Well, it’s not much better during the day, but at least the gangbangers aren’t around. After dark, there’s absolutely nobody.

The city looks more sinister with the weak yellow streetlights, half of which are out anyway. The pavement is all beat up, with tons of potholes, and weeds run rampant in tons of unkempt lawns and empty lots.

Buildings are decaying and crumbling, and I’m actually a little alarmed at how many houses have boarded-up windows. I sometimes feel like people are watching us as we walk, but nobody says a word.

“It’s like a horror movie.” Vivian breaks the silence, and her remarks are cutting and apt like always.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I say. “This used to be a nice little town once.”

“Not too long ago, right?” She shrugs a little. “This opioid thing…”

“It’s bad,” I say. “Ripping this place to pieces.”

“We’re doing a good thing at least. Trying to get people to learn about it.”

“Yeah,” I say, musing a bit. “Too little too late, I’m sure.”

“Always is.” We fall into silence again, looking at the buildings.

We come around a bend and there’s a bridge up ahead. Viv walks faster, heading right toward it. I follow a little behind, smiling at her as she hurries toward the water. Once on the bridge, she looks over the side. I join her a minute later and we both gaze down at the creek flowing over the rocks.

“Reminds me of home,” she says, looking down at the houses lining the creek’s bank. “Spent a lot of time by the water back then.”

“We sure did,” I say. “Too much, probably. We should have been doing drugs. Or having sex.”

She laughs and nudges me. “I guess we were lame.”

“We were young. And we had our own fun.” I grin at her. “Remember in the back seat of my car, when that guy shined his flashlight in through the window?”

“Oh god,” she groans. “I blocked that out.”

“I thought it was the cops and we were about to be arrested. I figured my mom was finally going to kill me for real.”

“But it was just that guy, right?” she says, looking up at me. “The weird guy walking his dog. A little white yappy thing. What did you say to him?” She screws up her face, trying to remember.

“I told him to fuck off,” I say.

“And you called him a pervert,” she adds.

“Oh yeah. And I said his dog was stupid.”

We both laugh together, lost in the good memory. “What were we doing, anyway?” she asks me.

“I’m pretty sure I was going down on you,” I say.

She blushes. “No way, really?”

“Really. I’m shocked you’d forget. If I recall, I used to make you…”

“Okay,” she says, interrupting me. “You don’t need to go into detail.”

“You sure I don’t? They’re nice details.”

“I’m sure,” she says, leaning closer to me. I can feel my heart beating as I remember touching her skin, tasting her pussy. I’ve been with plenty of women in the meantime, but I’ve always remembered Vivian as something special. Something to be savored.

“We were stupid kids back then,” she says, a little wistfully.

“Yeah. But we had fun.”

“Yeah, we did.” She looks out at the creek, but I don’t look away from her.

“You know, what happened between us…” I say softly.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

“It was stupid. I was stupid.”

She looks up at me with this strained, fake smile that almost breaks my heart. “It was a long time ago, Henry. We were kids.”

“I know, but—“

“It doesn’t matter. Really.”

I want to explain to her. I want her to understand why I did what I did. I was doing it for her, for her future, and I think I made the right decision, even though that decision has haunted me for a long, long time.

In a lot of ways, getting into this dangerous profession was my way of running from the past. I was running from the girl I felt I let down and destroyed, running from my own feelings. But now I can’t run away anymore, because it’s all standing right in front of me.

I did what I did for her. It probably doesn’t seem that way, but it’s the truth. She was going to pass up on something important. She was talking about choosing me over Harvard, but I couldn’t let her do that. I couldn’t let her throw away the greatest opportunity of her life for some stupid high school romance.

And so I broke up with her. I was a fucking dick to her to make sure that she wanted to get far, far away from me, and it worked. She went to Harvard.

But I fucked everything up between us. I threw away the one person that got me, that cared about me more than anyone else ever had. Still to this day, I’ve never met someone quite like Vivian, and never had someone care about me that same way.

I don’t regret doing it. But I regret the way I went about it. I could have been more honest with her, told her the truth, or at least been less of an asshole. I was trying to push her away, trying to make sure she went to Harvard, but I was a fucking asshole in the process. That’s haunted me ever since.

She turns away, back toward the creek, and I know the moment’s over. I can’t push this and explain right now. I’m afraid it won’t come out right and I’ll fuck things up completely with her.

I follow her gaze and spot something down in the water. “Come here,” I say, heading toward the end of the bridge. “Check this out.”

She follows after a second. We get to the edge of the road and step down a steep embankment, heading toward the water.

“What is it?” she asks.

I point toward the water. “Look at that.”

She spots it and laughs, shaking her head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wonder what’s inside.”

She laughs and steps closer. Sitting half-submerged in the water is an old white refrigerator, clearly something someone dumped here a while ago. It’s chipped and rusted and weathered, and the edges are worn smooth from the movement of the water.

“Probably the most delicious thing imaginable, but we’ll never know.” She stops at the water’s edge.

I come up behind her and grab her hips. “You sure we can’t know?”

“Henry!” she says, laughing. “Cut it out.”

I pretend like I’m going to push her in, but I pull her back from the edge at the last minute. She stumbles back and we land on our butts next to each other.

She laughs and shoves me. “Asshole,” she says. “If I got wet, I’d kill you.”

“I wouldn’t let you fall in,” I say. “But I might make you wet.”

She rolls her eyes. “Good one.”

We lean back against the grass and watch the water flow around the refrigerator. I know it’s just trash sitting in the middle of a creek, but it’s strangely beautiful with the moonlight falling down around it. I glance at Vivian and she’s looking at me with an odd expression.

“What?” I ask her.

“Nothing,” she says. “Just trying to figure out what they all see in you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“The crew. They all look up to you, even Bill does, and he’s twice your age.”

I laugh a little. “That’s not true. I’m just their boss, like it or not.”

“No, this is different. They all see something in you… but I don’t know what it is.”

“Huh,” I say, smirking slightly and shifting closer. “Maybe you just have to find out.”

“Maybe,” she says, not moving away.

I don’t know what comes over me, but I reach out and take her chin, softly turning her face toward mine. Her lips are full, red, and slightly parted, and she doesn’t resist me.

There’s still so much unspoken between us. But I know this isn’t the time for talking.

I lean forward and kiss her. She kisses me back after a second and I pull her tightly against me.

Memories course through me, rough and intense. I remember kissing her in the halls of school, in the basement of her house, in the darkroom after photography class. It’s all there plus a hint of something more, of the woman she’s become. She tastes exactly the same as I remember, and it feels so fucking good to finally kiss her again, like I’m coming home.

But as quickly and as intensely it starts, she breaks away. “I’m sorry,” she says, standing suddenly. “We shouldn’t.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Maybe not.”

“It’s just, we’re working together.”

“Right.” I stand up and brush myself off. “Shouldn’t get involved.”

“Right,” she says, biting her lower lip.

I hesitate a second then grin at her. I won’t let this get awkward. “Come on,” I say. “Nothing wrong with kissing an ex. Consider it a little backslide.”

She smiles a bit. “Yeah. Just a little backslide.”

“Let’s head back.” I turn and help her back up the embankment and onto the sidewalk. We walk back to the hotel, and I keep up a string of small talk, determined not to let things get too awkward.

Maybe she broke it off, but she let that happen. She wanted me to kiss her, wanted it despite knowing that she shouldn’t. That says a lot right here, more than I bet she’d admit to.

We get back to the hotel and say goodnight. I head to my room, but I can’t get that kiss from my head: the moonlight on the water, her gorgeous thick hair falling around her shoulders, her lips parted and begging for mine.