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Best Jerk by Lulu Pratt (72)

Chapter 4

ASHER

 

“The projections for the next five years look outstanding,” says Joe, pointing to the chart on the screen. “I’ve done the work, and we’re looking at a possible one hundred and two percent return on our investment.”

I suffer through dozens of these meetings throughout the day and this one is no different. Joe, or Juggernaut Joe as we like to call him, dabs at the sheen of sweat on his forehead. I’m not sure why he gets so nervous when trying to sell us on an idea of his. We’re all friends and I trust their judgement, otherwise I wouldn’t have them working with me.

I absentmindedly flip my pen over and over and try to recall the investment figure Joe mentioned earlier. The notepad in front of me is mostly blank, except for a few doodles I drew to help pass the time.

“Repeat the investment amounts for me again. How much will we be out of pocket initially, and how long until we start seeing some cash flow?” I ask.

Despite the monotony of the meetings, there’s only one thing capable of keeping my attention… money. I need the cold hard facts. How much do you need? When do I get it back? And how much interest will be included? The bottom line is the most important thing to me, luckily my other board members help handle the rest.

Joe flips back through his notes and repeats the information he knows I’m looking for. One bad investment, a single wrong move has the power to render me penniless. Thankfully, I make all the right moves.

The other investors swivel their chairs to face me, waiting on the final decision. We work together as a team, but there can only be one boss.

“Sounds good to me,” I say. “I’ll have Amelia draw up the necessary documents and we’ll get this show on the road.”

Everyone gathers their various notebooks and folders, preparing to leave the conference room. I grab my things and prepare to bolt, but Joe blocks the door.

“Slow down, Asher,” he says playfully. “We just closed on a major deal, let’s go celebrate.”

Celebrate. I’m not sure I know what that word means anymore.

It’s been ages since I’ve celebrated anything. I go on a few bland dates a month and to the occasional company party. I’m usually juggling several things at a time, and partying doesn’t rate highly on my agenda. There are twenty-four hours in the day and I prefer to spend mine making money.

Normal people can live in the moment, but not me. I like to schedule everything, including fun. When someone asked me to have drinks in my early twenties, I would drop whatever I was doing and party all night. But at thirty-five, my priorities are a little different.

“Not tonight, Joe,” I say. “I’m slammed with work, plus I have some loose ends to tie up at the building I’m looking to purchase.”

Joe steps aside to allow me out of the room, but follows me down the hall to my office.

“You and I both know you can do this job with your eyes closed. Besides, you know what they say, all work and no play will make a man’s balls shrivel up,” he teases.

We laugh as I shove a stack of paper into my briefcase and check the time on my Rolex. If anything is worth having, then make sure you have the best, is a motto I live and die by. My suits, cars and way of life in general all fall under this motto and I must stay focused to maintain my standards.

“You’re absolutely right,” I say. “Trust me, my balls are currently in no immediate danger, but I promise we’ll get together soon and party all night. In the meantime, go tie one on with the guys. You worked hard on this deal these last few months and gave an amazing presentation. You deserve to celebrate and have a little fun.”

We walk out of my office and Joe claps me hard on the back before we part ways in the hallway. I enjoy the silence of the elevator as I ride down to the ground floor. Given the number of meetings I have in a day, I always appreciate the moments of quiet, no matter how short. I stand out front and wait for my Rolls-Royce to pull up, a rare occurrence since I hate waiting for anything.

Ed, my driver for the last ten years is the only person who could get away with such an oversight. He’s more like family, but I still give him an eyebrow raise when he gets out, tilting his hat knowingly in my direction before opening the door to the backseat. I slide inside and pull out my phone.

Amelia has updated my schedule yet again and sent a confirmation email about the meeting we just had.

Ed gets in the car and adjusts the temperature to my liking. “Are we heading for the Hills, or the new place?”

I sigh and tuck my phone into my pocket. “The new place,” I say.

Ed grunts a reply and pulls off into traffic. The building isn’t far from my office and we pull up just in time for me to spot the maintenance man standing in the alley smoking a cigarette.

“Stop the car, Ed,” I say.

The car rolls to a stop and I get out without waiting on my driver to get the door for me. Grant, the useless maintenance man, glances up at me. He appears nervous as his eyes dart from one side to the other, probably searching for an escape.

“You’ve been dodging me for over a week,” I say, standing toe to toe with the man. “I asked you to change those filters and fix the leak in my place before I moved in and it’s still not done. I know you received my texts, calls and voicemails about the other shitload of things that need to be completed around here.”

Grant drops his cigarette butt on the ground and steps on it. “I haven’t been dodging you, Mr. Jordan. Just give me a chance to explain.”

This lazy man is costing me money and I need the improvements done to help bolster the asking price on this deal. I step back and fold my arms, not caring about the creases I’m making in my tailored suit.

“This had better be good.”

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