Chapter 31

JADE

Asher.

The sound of his voice on the other end of the phone takes my breath away, and suddenly the cloud nine I’m riding on comes crashing to the ground. My emotions collide into each other, and I’m not sure which one is right. Part of me is relieved to hear a familiar voice on the phone and the other part of me remembers everything Magdalene revealed.

Both the first and last person I want to talk to is on the phone right now, and I’m not sure what I should say. If he wasn’t the cause of my heartache, he would’ve undoubtedly been the first person I called to help comfort me, but unfortunately, he is the cause. He is the sole contributor to this disaster and he had the power to stop it at any time, but he didn’t. Asher made his bed, and he needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. He doesn’t deserve my time or my attention.

“How did you get this number? And why in the hell are you calling me?” I ask angrily.

Suddenly it’s very hard to breathe, and every breath I take feels like a labored exercise as I force myself to confront Asher yet again. My lungs are burning, but I know I’ll lose my nerve if I don’t get everything off my chest and out in the open while I still have the chance. I’ve got one shot to say what I need, because my heart won’t let me go through this again.

“You know what, don’t answer that because it doesn’t matter. We have nothing to talk about at this point. Magdalene told me everything. Believe me when I say she went through great lengths to describe how you are just using me to get back at her, and how Jacob is your son. I have no idea how Heath fits into all of this, but it’s no longer my problem. What kind of low life does such a thing to another person? You basically targeted and manipulated me into your sick little game, and I didn’t deserve this. If you wanted to play cat and mouse with Magdalene, you could have left me out of it.”

“Jade, if you’ll let me explain, you’ll see it’s nothing like you think it is,” he says. “Please just give me a chance.”

I angrily run my fingers through my hair, resisting the urge to pull it out.

Maybe the pain of that will hurt less than what my heart is feeling right now.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” I argue, but even I can hear the lie in my voice. I try to choke back the tears, but a strangled sob manages to escape my lips.

“I gave myself to you, Asher. I let you into my heart and my body. All you did was use me! Honestly, there’s nothing for us to discuss. What you did was cruel and completely unforgivable.”

“You have every right to be upset,” he says. “I should have told you about Magdalene the second I found out you worked for her.”

“So, it is true? You’ve been lying to me all this time. I thought you were distant because of Heath or something dealing with your business, but I never imagined it would be because of Magdalene. Hell, I would have accepted you ignoring me once you found out I was a nanny, but this takes the cake,” I say, pacing the room. “Not to mention you’ve allowed me to care for your son, and you didn’t even say a word about that either. I cared for Jacob like he was my own.”

The thought of Jacob is like a hard punch to the stomach. I’ll never see those big green eyes again, or run my fingers through his soft dark curls. Who’s going to make sure he has his elephant and not his giraffe during nap time, or pretend to bite his toes when he first wakes up?

It’s all gone… Jacob, Asher… everything… is just gone, and my heart feels like it’s in a vise grip. I don’t wish this pain on my worst enemy, this slow tortuous destruction. My entire world has come crashing down around me in a matter of days.

My mind screams for him to say something, anything, that will make me feel better. I want him to say it’s a lie and tell me I’m wrong, but deep down I know the truth.

“I don’t know what Magdalene said to you exactly, but I want to tackle this with a cool head. You may not believe me, but I have proof and I want you to see it.”

“Proof of what?” I ask. “I don’t need any proof to know what a liar you are and how you used me. Why didn’t you tell me from the very beginning? You took things too far, way too far. I’m not a plaything, I’m a human being with real feelings and I deserved better than that. I really thought you cared about me, Asher.”

I lose the battle with myself and the floodgate of tears flows free. The sobs are uncontrollable as I finally release the pent-up anger and sadness I’ve been holding in for days.

I didn’t do anything to deserve this. I was good to Magdalene, and even better to Jacob. If nothing else, I regret the day I confronted Asher Jordan. I should have reported him and left it at that, but I didn’t. My big mouth led to this heartbreak. I did this to myself.

“Jade… Jade, please say something,” he says. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry.”

My mouth opens and closes several times, but I can’t bring myself to say more. Instead of any words coming out, I sit there on the edge of the bed, sobbing.

This is wrong, all of it. I thought I could handle confronting him, but I was wrong, this hurts too much.

“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry, Jade,” he says in a soft voice.

I hear him, but his words may as well be falling on deaf ears. His apology is hollow in my opinion. This is the second time I’ve been in this same position with him apologizing and it has officially gotten old.

Sorry doesn’t fix my broken heart or get my job back. Sorry doesn’t repair the shattered relationship I now have with Magdalene and Jacob. Sorry doesn’t do a thing for me right now.