CHAPTER 27 - CHANCE
I couldn’t believe how lonely I felt once Dream had left for work. Even though she’d only been gone for half an hour, the entire home felt like someone had sucked all the air out of it.
Knowing she was choosing to work when I’d told her she didn’t have to, solidified the fact that she was secretly planning to run off. She’d run from Nick so many times before, that I guess it was just part of who she was, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was me she was running from. And I knew that I was practically pushing her out the door. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I lay in the warmth of my bed sulking and wondering what I was going to do.
Dream was obviously feeling better from the stomach bug she’d had, and she’d left just as I was waking up. I wanted to stop her, but it wasn’t my place. I couldn’t just tell a headstrong woman that if she wanted to be with me, she’d have to quit her job.
The real rub was that I worked at home, and I wanted her there with me. With all the shit Nick had put us both through, I still wasn’t comfortable letting her out of my sight. But how could I tell her that without sounding pathetic or controlling?
I got up and strapped on my leg and headed to the bathroom. The smell of her perfume lingered in the hall, and I pushed the door to her room open to find that she’d cleaned up and actually made her bed for once.
I didn’t think much of it until I went to the bathroom and reached for my toothbrush. Dream’s was missing, along with her makeup bag and other toiletries. She wasn’t planning to run away, she already had.
My first instinct was to run back down the hall to her room, and I went as fast as my legs could take me. I breathed a sigh of relief as I opened the closet and found her clothes hanging there. She’d taken some of her things, but not all of them. Which meant she was most likely coming back. I slumped against the closet door and held the knob as I sank to the floor.
My phone ringing brought me to my feet, and I made my way back to my bedroom hoping it was Dream with an explanation.
“Hey, brother. How’s the after-Christmas lull treating you?” Austin was talking loudly, and I could hear more background noise than usual, which meant he was driving into work. He had an hour commute to work, and would usually call me on the way if Lola was too busy to keep him company.
“It’s all bad around here, man.” I didn’t think it could get any worse, at least it didn’t feel like it could.
“Whoa! You sound like shit. Are you coming down with something?”
“No, it’s Dream. She’s going to bail on me.” I couldn’t blame her I suppose.
“Damn. Did you two have a fight?” Every time I thought about what I’d said to her and how I’d said it, I wanted to kick myself in the teeth. I had been the kind of guy that I hated and loathed and I hadn’t stopped being pissed off at myself since.
She got her old job back and went to work even though I told her she didn’t have to while she was here. I basically accused her of saving up money to run on me. Austin let out a breath. “Jesus, Chance, she’s been through hell. What were you thinking?”
“I know. Now she’s gone to work at the diner, and I’m not sure she’s coming back. She took her makeup and a toothbrush like she’s going to be gone overnight.”
“Sounds to me like you’re in love with her.”
“I can’t even argue with you. Star asked if I did, and I couldn’t even fucking answer the kid. I tiptoed around it and finally blew it off. Now she’s gone, maybe for good and this fucking house feels empty.” I couldn’t imagine waking up every single day with her gone. The thought of it left a chewed a hole in my gut.
“You need to go after her and tell her how you feel. Tell her you want her to stay and put yourself out there. I had to fucking do it for Lola. God knows I don’t deserve her, and she can be a total pain in my ass, but I love that woman. I know I complain about the wedding and all that shit, but the truth is, I only do it because it’s all taking too long. If it were up to me, I’d have already walked her down the aisle just to make her mine.”
“That sounds pathetic man. And sadly, I know just what you fucking mean. I haven’t been this miserable since Becky, and I feel like I don’t fucking know what to do, just like when I was losing her.”
“She’s not Becky. You’re about to lose a good woman because you can’t get over how Becky treated you. You can’t keep doing that, or you’re never going to find happiness man. You’re pushing a good woman away due to lack of communication because ultimately, you’re scared to death of her hurting you.” His words sent my heart racing, and I wanted to punch something so badly because I knew every breath from him was speaking the truth.
“What am I supposed to do then?” Since he had all the fucking answers, he could throw out some suggestions.
“Well, if you’d just done something easy like forgotten her birthday, I’d say buy her some flowers and eat her pussy, but since you flipped out on her, you’re going to have to do so much better than that.” A horn honked in the background and Austin spouted a string of obscenities.
“I guess I’ll have to think on it. But first, I need to make sure she’s coming back. I guess I should go down to the diner and tell her I need to talk.”
“Now you’re talking. Women want to feel special. Do something to show her what she means to you, but you have to use the opportunity to tell her how you feel and what you want, or it’s a waste of time.”
I would have to get Cynthia to watch Star for me so I could go down and then I’d have to go to the store and do some shopping to pull off the perfect evening.
I ended my conversation with Austin and then called her number. The phone rang multiple times, but she never picked it up.
I went about my day for a little while knowing I had work that had to get done, especially if I wanted to spend my evening with Dream.
I put together two structures for limbs and then did the final touches on a prosthetic foot before I called Cynthia. The phone rang only a minute before her kind voice sounded on the other end. “Don’t tell me you smelled the cobbler I just took out of the oven all the way over there.” She gave a little laugh, and I could hear her kitchen timer going off.
“No, ma’am. I wanted to ask if you do me a favor.”
“You want me to watch Star?”
“Well, yes, ma’am. If you could. I know you’ve been doing me a lot of favors watching her, but I’d like to do something nice for Dream, and I think it’s time I really tell her how I feel and that I want her to stay.”
“Did she tell you she’s going to leave?”
“No, but she went back to work this morning, and she felt the need to take her toothbrush along for the ride. I can’t help but feel like she did it so she can bail on me. We had a fight.”
“You need to cook her a nice dinner, just the two of you. Tell her how much you love her, Chance, before it’s too late.”
“Does everyone know that I’m in love with her?”
Cynthia’s soft laughter tinkled like a bell through the phone. “You’re the only one who’s still questioning it.”
“It’s not that I’m questioning it, but I just don’t know what to do with it.”
“You’ll figure it out. The important thing is that you’re trying. You send Star over whenever you’re ready, and we’ll save you a bite of cobbler.”
“Thanks, Cynthia. You’re a lifesaver.”
“I like her, you know. I think meeting you was the best thing that could ever have happened to the both of you. You need each other. You all do. Star’s been through so much, and even though I love being a positive influence in her life, an old lady like me can only be so much for her. She needs someone to fill the role of a mother.”
“Yeah, Star asked me if we could be a family and I froze.” I should have taken that opportunity and used it to make sure we became the family Star needed.
“She’s something, that one; knows exactly what she wants. She’ll have you two married, and Jackie will be in your wedding.”
I got my ass in gear knowing I’d have to run a few errands to make the night a really special one for me and Dream. I wanted it to truly be a night she’d never forget. And with any luck, instead of an end, it would be the beginning I needed.