Jace

I watch Nova carefully from the corner of my eye as I drive her to her first doctor’s appointment.

I haven’t told her, since I don’t want to upset her, but I’m scared if something goes wrong she’s going to plummet worse than before. 

Do I believe something is going to wrong again?

No. I definitely don’t.

But I still can’t shake the fear of what if.

I swear those two fucking words are the worst in the English language when paired together.

“What’s wrong?” Nova asks me.

“Nothing,” I reply automatically. 

“Jace,” she warns. “We said we were going to be open with our feelings, remember? That includes any doubts you might be having.”

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

“Nope.” She smiles blindingly at me. 

I sigh, tightening my hand around the steering wheel. “I don’t think anything is going to go wrong this time, I really don’t, but … but I still have this fear something might and I’m going to lose you again.”

She shakes her head adamantly. “I was coming back to you before you came. Trust me, I realize what an idiot was, and I’m not going to make the same mistake again. I promise.”

My chest eases slightly. “Have you heard from Owen at all?” I haven’t asked about him, because frankly I haven’t wanted to know, but the thought of him is always there, prickling in the back of my mind like a pesky mosquito. 

She shakes her head. “No, and I haven’t contacted him. I’m sure he’s angry with me, and I can’t blame him. What I did … going to him, I gave him false hope even though that was never my intention.” She looks away sadly.

“He’ll find his own person one day,” I tell her, reaching for her hand with my free one, “and when he does, he’ll realize what a fool he was for holding on so long when there was something else out there, greater, waiting for him.”

She nods and smiles back. “You’re right. All I want is for him to be happy like I am.”

“He will be, one day.”

We arrive at the doctor’s office and I park. Both of us sit still, staring at the building. 

Nova’s the first to move. “We’re going to be late,” she warns.

She doesn’t sound worried, or stressed, but she could be hiding it, or maybe I’m doing enough of it for the both of us.

I get out and follow her inside, my heart racing. 

My feeling that everything is going to be fine is suddenly gone once we’re inside the cheery yellow waiting room. My gut is screaming that they’re going to tell us something’s wrong, or not quite right. I feel shaky and sick.

I take a seat while Nova signs in.

She sits down beside me and looks me over. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good—you’re sweating.”

I wipe at my forehead. “I’m fine,” I respond.

“Don’t lie to me,” she says in a stern voice.

I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Something feels different.”

“Different?” She repeats. “Different, how?”

“I don’t know,” I practically whine, swinging my hands desperately. “It just does.”

I fully expected her to the be one losing her mind in this place, not me, and yet I think I’m pretty close to being put in a straight jacket and sent away.

She grabs my hand. “Jace,” she says softly, “we haven’t even made it to the room yet. Breathe.”

The fact she’s the one comforting me is almost comical.

But at least one of us is level-headed.

When her name is called I feel like throwing her over my shoulder and dragging her from here. We don’t need any more disappointment in our life.

I don’t do that, though. Instead, I follow Nova as the nurse leads us back to a room.

While Nova gets undressed I sit in the corner, my leg moving up and down restlessly.

I want my optimism back. Where the fuck did it go? It’s like I dropped it somewhere.

Nova hops up on the exam table. “Chill, Jace.”

“I can’t help it,” I bite out through my teeth, resting my elbows on my knees and crossing my hands in front of my face in a praying motion.

“As much as your behavior is uncharacteristic, I’m secretly glad you don’t have your shit together like I thought.” She grins at me, her legs swishing back and forth.

I glare at her. “I’m glad one of us is enjoying this.”

The door opens and Dr. Illias walks in. She gives us a kind smile. “I have to say, I’m surprised to see you two, but extremely happy. How have you been?”

Nova looks at me and then back at the doctor. “It’s been a rough couple of months, but we’re much better.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

She washes her hands and sits down on her stool. 

“Ready to take a look?”

Nova nods and lies back. She turns her head and looks at me, reaching out her hand for mine. I give it to her immediately and she holds on tight, letting out a deep breath. It looks like she’s more nervous than she’s letting on.

I scoot closer as the doctor gets everything ready.

I hold my breath, and a moment later an image pops up on the screen.

I stare at it, blinking, trying to figure out what I see.

“This doesn’t look right.” Panic rings in my voice. “Something’s wrong.” Apparently, my gut was ahead of the game.

Nova looks at me, worried now. “Is something wrong? What’s going on?”

Dr. Illias laughs. “Stop jumping to conclusions, everything is fine, in fact it’s perfect.”

I shake my head. “Something’s off about it. You’re lying. Tell us like it is.”

“No,” she laughs again. “I’m serious. This is a beautiful ultrasound.” She points at the screen. “See there, that’s baby number one, and there is baby number two.”

Silence. 

I look at Nova, she looks at me, and then we both look at the doctor.

“Excuse me,” I start, clearing my throat, “what do you mean, baby number one and baby number two?”

She looks at me completely amused. “Exactly what it sounds like—you’re having twins.”

“Oh, my God.” Nova bursts into tears and I have no idea whether they’re happy or sad. All I feel is shock. 

Two babies?

Twins.

She has to be lying. There’s no way. 

“There’s no way,” I voice. “You’re lying.”

She shakes her head. “No, look here.” She points again. “That’s definitely two babies, and from the looks of it, they’re going to be identical. It’s far too soon to know if they’re boys or girls.”

The family of three we dreamed to be and quickly lost, is now going to be a family of five—because there’s no fucking way we can leave out Beckett.

Nova sniffles and I turn my attention to her. “Are you okay? What are you thinking?” I ask her. 

She reaches up and wipes her tears away. “I’m not going to lie, the thought of twins is scary, but I’m really, really, really happy.”

I lean over her and kiss her. When I sit back down, I tell her, “I’m scared too, but this … this feels like we’ve been given a gift.”

“I’ll print off some photos for you guys to keep,” Dr. Illias says. 

I stare at the screen a bit more, at those two little life forms that are barely more than blobs, but are made up of pieces of us. 

Twins. 

Two babies.

What are the chances? Identical twins. Fuck. We’re going to have our hands full. But we’ve made it this far, so twins should be a piece of cake.

I hope.

“Here you go.” Dr. Illias hands me the ultrasound photos and finishes up. “We’ll be monitoring you closely this time around, not only because it’s twins, but we don’t want what happened last time to happen again if we can prevent it. If either of you have any worries please call me. I’m here for you and I want this to be a good experience, because that’s what it should be.”

Nova nods. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

We never knew the exact cause for Beckett passing away, all his tests came back normal, so this goes a long way to making me feel better, and I’m sure it does Nova too. 

Dr. Illias gives us one last smile before ducking out the door.

Nova doesn’t move, I’m not sure she’s even breathing.

I reach up and brush her hair off her forehead, the gesture causing her to turn her head toward me.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

Despite her words from earlier saying she’s happy, I’m still concerned about how she might feel about this. We didn’t plan this, this time, and now we’re having two kids at one time. 

“Yeah.” She smiles. “I’m worried it’s not real.”

I pick up her hand and kiss her knuckles. “It’s real.”

“What are we going to do?” She laughs. “We can’t stay in our apartment with twins. The spare bedroom was barely big enough for Beckett’s stuff.”

I chuckle. “I guess we’re going to have to move.”

“We might need a minivan too,” she jokes.

I glare at her. “I am not driving a minivan.”

She shrugs innocently. “I think you’d be hot driving a minivan.”

I narrow my eyes. “I see what you’re trying to do, and I’m not biting.”

Her lips quirk with amusement. “You’ll change your mind.”

“Not likely,” I mutter under my breath.

She hops down from the exam table then and changes back into her clothes. 

“When should we tell everyone?” she asks.

“Whenever you want.” 

She bites her lip. “I don’t know …”

“We can wait,” I hasten to tell her. “If that’s what makes you feel more comfortable.”

She shakes her head and steps into her jeans. “No, I think we should tell them.”

“Okay,” I agree. 

“Are you okay with that?” she asks. “If you want to wait I’m okay.”

I sigh and scrub a hand over my face. “No, this is good with me. I’m more fucking worried about what they might say.  I swear if they react like last time I’m going to go off.”

She laughs and picks up her bag. “No, you won’t.”

I sigh and stand up. “You’re probably right.”

“I’m most definitely right.”

“Oh, is that so?” I pinch her butt and she shrieks, jumping away.

She grabs the door handle and runs out into the hall.

I chase after her and she’s almost to the exit when I swoop her up into my arms and over my shoulder.

“Jace put me down,” she shrieks, but I ignore her as I walk up to the checkout desk. 

“I need to set up Nova’s next appointment,” I say.

The woman working there looks at us like we’re insane.

Nova waves weakly from behind me. “Hi.”

The woman shakes her head and types rapidly into her computer. She rattles off some dates and times and Nova picks one. She slides a card to me with the time and I take it, sticking it in my pocket.

I push open the door to the waiting room and we get a couple of curious glances.

“Don’t mind us. There’s nothing to see here.”

Someone laughs, but I don’t stop to see who.

I carry her all the way out to my truck before I finally set her down. 

Her cheeks are flushed, her hair mused, and she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. 

“What are you staring at?” she asks.

“My heart.”

As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. Nova is my heart, existing outside my chest. Without her by my side, I feel like I can’t live. She’s a part of me, my better half.

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses me. When she lowers she asks, “Are you ready?”

“For what?” I ask.

She smiles. “For everything.”

I grin at her, my vision of our future flashing before my eyes, and I nod.

It’s going to be a wild ride, but what’s life without some craziness.