Scarlet
HE WALKED OUT.
No more words. Nothing. He just left me standing there in the barn. I didn’t follow him. I didn’t call out his name to stop him. I wanted to do both, but I stood there. Hating myself for what I’d said and the look in his eyes when I had said it. They were lies. Lies we both needed to believe. Lies that had to end the disaster we had created.
Bray was the black sheep. The bad boy in the Sutton clan. Everyone in town talked about him. They expected him to mess up. I was just like him. If he wanted something bad enough he took it no matter who it hurt. I had done the same. Our need for each other had consumed us and we never cared what the future held. We had lived in the moment.
Those moments were gone now. This was the future and if I had known then what I knew now . . .
I’d have still done it. Because like all decisions I made, it was my past that drove me.
Hanging my head, I let the emotion take me a moment. The pain slicing through me and the ache that was always there now pumping heavy in my veins. I was strong. The weak Scarlet was gone. She hadn’t won. I would make it through this. I would get it together and walk out there and find Dixie. Tell her congratulations, she was beautiful, it was perfect, and I loved her. Then I would leave.
Tonight, when I was alone in my trailer I would crumble. Get it out. Inside my trailer there was no pretending. I could be honest. Real. I would let it all out and move forward. But right now, I had to pretend. Suck it up and deal.
One more long exhale and I wiped the tears from my face. I held my shoulders back, lifted my chin high, and faced the door that Bray had left open in his exit. Time to do this. I had come for Dixie.
The sun was warm on my skin, but the warmth did nothing for the empty coldness inside me. For a moment in that barn I had wanted to run into Bray’s arms. To tell him I loved him and beg him to forgive me for leaving. But that was the old Scarlet. The one who didn’t care about anyone she was hurting and thought she had to be in Bray’s arms to survive. I was different now. I saw what destruction could be caused if I didn’t face my own demons. I wasn’t doing that again.
The wedding guests were walking from Dixie’s front yard to the Sutton’s where the reception would be held. They’d drink, dance, eat and laughter would fill the air. Smiles all around. Happiness, joy, and all the emotions I had always wanted. I’d longed for them. And only found them with Bray. It was ironic and unfair that a guy that would never love me brought me the only happiness I had experienced.
The time spent in Bray’s arms were my moments. The ones I would never forget.
I turned to look up at the tent where the ceremony had been held and saw the wedding party getting photos taken. Bray and Brent would both be there, but so would Dixie. The worst of this was over. I’d seen Bray. Spoken to him. That alone had shattered what little strength I had but I would muster up all I could to speak to my best friend and hope she forgave me.
The walk back up the hill toward the yard gave me time to get myself back together. Find my poise. Prepare to face this. I didn’t know how Brent would react. I trusted Bray to remain silent and ignore me. I had said what needed to be said and he’d walked away. No more words were needed. He was finished. I had ended it for him.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat several times. I had to forget the look on his face as I had lied to him. In order to speak, I had to push that away. The lump was massive, and I didn’t expect it to leave anytime soon.
As I reached the tent, the bride was smiling up at the groom while the photographer took photos. The Sutton boys were all talking and laughing. All except Bray. He was missing. Dallas was grinning from ear to ear at Brent when his gaze shifted to me. His smile changed. He was studying me, trying to decide what had happened between me and Bray. I’m sure he was wondering if he had made a mistake urging me to come.
“Scarlet!” Dixie’s voice snapped my attention back to her. She was standing there one moment, picking up her dress and running toward me the next. Tears were back. This time they were bittersweet. I didn’t want her running in that dress, so I made my way toward her at the same speed. Her face was filled with joy. I felt guiltier for not being a part of her special day and not being by her side while she planned the wedding.
The moment we were close enough, she wrapped her arms around me. “You’re here!” she said joyfully. I blinked, and my tears escaped.
“It’s my best friend’s wedding day,” I reminded her.
She squeezed me tighter as I hugged her back. “I haven’t heard from you. I didn’t know. But you came. Thank you.” She sounded as if she were getting close to tears now too. She didn’t need to mess up her makeup. She had more pictures to take.
“I’m sorry, Dixie. I just didn’t want to ruin your big day by causing drama by my presence. In the end . . . Dallas convinced me you’d want me here.”
Dixie finally pulled back and looked at me. She saw my tear streaked face and concern clouded her eyes. “It took Dallas to convince you that I would want you here? Scar, what happened wasn’t just your fault. It was equal. Bray stood up there beside his brother. You had as much right to be here or up there beside me. Brent wasn’t your brother. In my opinion Bray’s actions were worse.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t letting her do that. Not for me. I knew the truth. I did everything I could to get Bray’s attention. “No. It’s my fault. But that’s not what today is about. It’s about how beautiful you are, how perfect your wedding is, and how happy I am for you. That’s why I’m here. And to tell you I’m sorry. I should have kept in touch. Answered all your calls. I just couldn’t. I needed to alienate myself to deal. It doesn’t excuse me but it’s why I’ve been out of reach.”
Dixie’s hands took mine and she held them firmly. “It’s okay. I was upset at first. Hurt. But I get it. I had to think it through. Put myself there. And I get it. I wanted to run too. When I was standing between two brothers, I wanted to run. What I did was as bad as what you did. But my brush with death made us all see a little clearer and I realized what is important in this world. Accept Asher and me, it doesn’t make what I did okay.”
I glanced over her shoulder and saw Asher talking to Brent who looked tense. Dallas was watching us and talking to Steel at the same time. Bray was still missing.
“I don’t think they see it that way,” I told her. She glanced back at them.
“They can get over it. This is my wedding day and I didn’t have my best friend up there beside me. You’re staying. I want you here. Please. Don’t go.”
Brent said something and scowled. Asher stepped toward him as if he was warning him. “Dix, that doesn’t look good,” I told her.
She let go of my right hand but kept my left one in hers, tugging me with her toward the boys. I tried to protest but the determined look on her face was startling. Dixie wasn’t so fierce normally.
“Brent Sutton shut up and listen to me. This is MY wedding day. And this is MY best friend. I do not care about the past. You should be past it too. Sadie stood up here with me today. You have told her you love her. That being the case, you have moved on from Scarlet. I will not have her leave here because you want to have a little fit like a freaking baby!”
Dallas chuckled but I didn’t look his way.
“Guess I should have let her handle it to begin with,” Asher said with an amused tone.
Brent glared at me, but his expression softened on Dixie. “She’s why Bray has gone missing.”
Dixie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t care. Let him run. He can be an ass if he wants to. But I want to dance and enjoy my reception with my best friend there too. You and Bray got to stand by your brother. I didn’t have Scarlet beside me.”
Brent thought about that a minute. Then he shrugged. “Fine. You’re right. It’s over. Who cares if Bray is here or not,” Brent said, the tension leaving his stance. He didn’t look my way again.
Asher stepped in front of me. “Thanks for coming, Scarlet.”
“Thanks for letting me stay,” I replied.
“One question though. Did Bray see you?”
I nodded. “Yes. We have spoken and gotten our closure.”
Asher didn’t look convinced. “Good.”
Dixie squeezed my hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
It never would be. Not for me.