Bray Sutton
EVERY MOTHERFUCKING REDHEAD caused a sharp kick in my gut. My head knew it wasn’t her but dammit if my heart didn’t seem to care. I reacted the same way every time. I couldn’t fuck a redhead anymore. Once. I had tried once. It was a fail. I’d had to walk away before I physically got ill.
All I could see was Scarlet. All I wanted was Scarlet. I was moving on physically just to shut everyone up, but my head wasn’t in it. My heart wasn’t in the equation because that fucking organ didn’t work properly. Scarlet had made me feel something. And that screwed it all up.
Asher was standing at the window in Dixie’s living room looking out at the people filling the chairs outside. I knew almost all the faces. They were this town. I wondered if the streets were empty because everyone had gathered in Dixie’s yard.
“That’s a hellalot of folks out there,” I said as I sat down on the sofa. “Sit down. You’re about to be standing in this uncomfortable bullshit you’ve got us dressed up for far too long.” I added the last bit just to get a rise out of him.
Asher’s head swung in my direction, his face plastered with the scowl I expected. Grinning I propped my right foot up on the coffee table.
“It’s not that bad. Don’t be an asshole.” He sounded disappointed with me.
I shrugged. “You’re just in love and all that sappy shit. This motherfucker sucks ass.”
Asher grunted and turned back to the crowd. “I get afraid”—Asher changed the subject, ignoring me—“that this isn’t real. That I’m going to wake up and still be living the hell I survived without her. Is it allowed to be this damn happy?”
I wasn’t sentimental or emotional. Rolling my eyes was my first response but I refrained. “Are you seriously asking me this?” We both knew I wasn’t the brother to go to for comfort. Brent was better built for this.
He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am.” He kept watching out the window though. Not looking my way. “You love her, Bray. You just don’t recognize it because that isn’t an emotion you’re familiar with.”
It was my turn to ignore him. “How long does this thing take? I need a beer.”
Asher sighed. He shifted his gaze to me and said, “You snapped. Lost it. The . . . darkness that you get in your eyes was there. I’ve only seen you reach that level a handful of times. Each time it was because someone you loved was involved. The time Dallas came home from school with a black eye because that senior had beat him up for his smartass mouth. You almost killed that guy.”
I stopped him. I knew the stories. I remembered why I had gone off. “Dallas was twelve. That cocksucker deserved it.”
“I didn’t say he didn’t. What I am saying is you only react that way to protect someone you love.”
I glared at him. “I changed my mind. I want a goddamn whiskey.”
Asher smirked. “One day you’ll have to accept it.” He moved away from the window as the door behind us opened.
“Did y’all invite the whole damn county?” Dallas asked.
“Ten minutes, bro. You ready?” Brent walked up to us, all smiles. Living in his happy world.
Steel was the quiet one, no different today. He had loved Dixie once too. I wondered if he always would. A little. No one talked about that though. It was done. Over. It was the same for them pretending Brent and I hadn’t almost killed each other over Scarlet.
Asher was grinning. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“Good because her daddy has paid a fortune for this thing. Have you seen the food?” Dallas was excited and amazed. “I’m gonna eat for hours.”
“Just have to survive standing out there in the damn tux first,” I said.
Steel shot me a warning glance from where he stood across the room.
“They’re not that bad,” Brent said as he took the seat across from me.
I didn’t respond. If they all wanted to lie and pretend that we were fucking comfortable, that Steel wasn’t hurting a little, and that it was wrong Scarlet wasn’t here, fine. But I wasn’t going to fucking pretend.
“Dixie wanted something small. It grew as her mom and dad got more involved. She wanted them to be happy, so she went with it.”
“Sweetest bride I’ve ever seen. Aren’t they supposed to be bitches? There’s a show about it or something,” Brent drawled
Everyone turned to look at Brent after that comment. He shrugged. “There is. Don’t tell me y’all haven’t seen the damn commercials,” he said defensively.
“Dix has never been a bitch.” Dallas only stated what everyone already knew.
“Steel will disagree. He called her one loudly when he was drunk on main street once,” I added since they all wanted to act like that shit didn’t happen. All this jolly happiness annoyed me.
“Jesus, Bray. For once use a filter,” Brent said angrily.
“Only pointing out the facts.” I smirked.
“It’s okay.” Steel walked toward us like we were about to tie up and start swinging right there. “He’s right. I did. I was hurt. I was drunk. That was a different time. Dixie has never been a bitch, but I was a jerk. I was also selfish. I knew who she loved. I wouldn’t let her go even knowing I wasn’t her first choice. I was wrong. I made it right though,” Steel paused and turned his gaze to Asher. “And today, I get to watch the brother who has never had one selfish motive when it comes to us marry the girl he was meant for. I’m happy for you. No one needs to doubt that.”
Asher stood there only a moment before moving toward Steel. They hugged. Mushy shit. I needed that whiskey.
“If I get called a pussy by any of you for crying I will beat your fucking ass. I am bigger than all of you now. You don’t want any of this,” Dallas said as he wiped a tear away.
Asher laughed, and I saw the unshed tears in his eyes. They were all a bunch of pussies.
“Don’t,” Brent muttered.
I looked at him and he stared back at me. “Don’t. Whatever you are thinking . . . don’t say it.”
I laughed bitterly. “Whatever.” I stood up to put some distance between the emotional outbursts and see the crowd for myself.
“Ten minutes.” Brent smiled.
“Woohoo!” Dallas cheered.
I ignored their ridiculously happy sentiments and studied the crowd. They were all seated now. It was packed. Standing room only. They would all see the beautiful bride and believe in the fairytale that they’d watched unfold. If anyone deserved a fairy tale, it was Asher. I wanted them to have their day and to be happy. I just fucking hated that no one seemed to care that Dixie’s best friend wasn’t here. No one noticed her absence. It was as if Scarlet had never existed.
I caught flash of red hair wading through the crowd, jolting when I thought it might be her. I scowled and cursed myself. Always. I did it every time. I didn’t stand there a minute longer, trying to see more of the girl attached to the hair because there was no point. The girl was never who I wanted it to be.