CHAPTER SIX
JEANIE
“Alright, Uncle Jerry, time to go see the doc,” I say, forcing myself to act perky despite my own uneasiness.
Dr. Harrington’s office is in Bakersville, despite the fact he lives here in Silver Springs. His office used to be on Main Street, but the younger generations weren’t sticking around as they aged into the work force and he couldn’t maintain enough patients to justify the office.
So now, instead of walking down to his office, we catch the bus. For me, it’s simply a necessary inconvenience. For Jerry, it’s a feat of perseverance at this point.
Still, he’s been so tired lately I’m worried he might be coming down with something—the flu possibly. Given the fact my own mother died of pneumonia, I’m not taking chances. He’s all I’ve got left.
“Come on, Jerry, we need to leave here in less than an hour,” I call down the hall.
“You can quit your hollerin’. I’m up, I’m up!”
I hear the bathroom faucet running, and assured, turn on some music as I chug my coffee. The high school seniors graduated and we lost four people at the diner, so I’ve been pulling extra shifts. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave a lot of time for sleep.
“What is that I smell cooking?” Jerry says a short time later, cleaned up and moving stiffly to the kitchen table.
“Egg whites in avocado oil with tomatoes, Swiss chard, and a sprinkle of parmesan on toast. Go ahead, I’m ready to hear your issues with it,” I say, laughing as I set the plate down in front of him.
He grabs my wrist. His wrinkled skin feels papery and loose. “Jeanie, I know I’m a cantankerous old coot sometimes, but honey, I just want you to know, I really am grateful for everything you’ve done.”
I’m a little taken aback, caught off guard by the sincerity in his eyes. “Of course, Uncle Jerry, you know I wouldn’t have it any different. I love being here with you.”
“I know and I selfishly love having you here with me still. But you shouldn’t be tied down like this. You’re young. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you. I just want you to have the chance to live it.”
What’s he saying?
“Well, you’re my family, you’re my world, and I’m happy where I am. We’ll go see the doc today, he’ll check your cholesterol, and hopefully we can change these meds. Won’t that be great? I think this new prescription is really going to make the difference for you. Now we better get going, so go on, eat up.”
He smiles at me, a strange expression in his eyes, but doesn’t say any more.
After a slow walk, one uncomfortable, bumpy bus ride, followed by another short walk, we’re finally at the clinic Dr. Harrington shares with two other physicians. It’s a tall brick building in downtown Bakersville sandwiched between a college coffee house and a strip of trendy boutiques.
We sit down in the waiting area, a small white-walled room with a bubbling blue aquarium in the middle. Jerry and I settle in, prepared for a long wait.
A minute later, “Jerry Conry?” The medical assistant with her mocha skin and caramel twisted hair beams at Jerry as she comes over, helping him up.
That was quick.
“Good morning, Jerry, how are we feeling today?” she asks.
“Like I could run the forty-yard dash,” he says sarcastically.
I start to walk back with them, “Oh, sorry, miss. Dr. Harrington just wants to see Jerry today.”
“Sorry, Jeanie dear, but Maisie’s the boss,” Jerry calls as he walks to the door leading down to the exam rooms.
I don’t like this.
“Oh... Alright if anything changes, if you need me at all, I’ll be right out here the whole time.”
The door closes and I’m left in the silence of the waiting room. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, shuffling through the pages of National Geographic, trying to distract myself with the perfect, glossy photographs.
An hour passes and I’m still sitting there alone wondering what could possibly be happening behind those doors. Maybe they’re just talking over the new medication. I know they’ll have to do bloodwork to check his cholesterol levels before starting the new meds. Maybe it’s just taking a bit.
No need to worry.
There are hardly any other patients in the waiting room, but maybe they got delayed this morning. My mind is reeling, working to find justifications for the long wait. I ask the receptionist, but she has no news other than Jerry is in the room with the doctor.
Another forty minutes pass and I’m getting restless. Finally, the door opens and Uncle Jerry is standing there with an expression on his face I can’t quite read.
“Thank heavens. I was getting worried,” I say as Maisie helps Jerry into a chair.
She looks down at him kindly. “I’ll be right back with the paperwork.”
Jerry sags, his face set in grim thought.
Maisie motions to me with her head discreetly and asks a little loudly, “Ms. Conry, do you want to collect the paperwork for your uncle?”
What am I missing here?
“Uh, sure. I’ll be right back, Uncle Jerry.”
He doesn’t answer, so I walk to the front desk with her.
“Is everything okay? What’s going on?” I ask in a frenzied whisper.
“Sorry, Ms. Conry, only your uncle can give you the details of his appointment, but I wanted to let you know that Dr. Harrison is having me call a cab for you two. The clinic will cover the cost. They’ll be here in about fifteen minutes.”
“A cab?” I ask, feeling like an echo.
“Yes, your uncle should avoid any extreme exertion right now. Here you go.”
She’s handing me a file. I’m tempted to open it, but I can’t bring myself to invade Jerry’s privacy.
“Thank you,” I say, hurrying back to Jerry, who’s having a coughing fit.
“You okay?” I ask, rubbing his back.
“I’m fine.” His voice has an edge to it, but I don’t press him just yet. “Let’s get going, sun’s not gonna wait for us.”
“Actually, the doc called us a cab. It’s on him.” I’m expecting an argument, but instead he just nods looking out the window.
I’m starting to get really nervous here and Jerry’s telling me nothing. The cab arrives sooner than expected. We climb in, riding in virtual silence.
I wait until we get to the house. He still hasn’t said anything and I can’t hold off any longer. Something strange is happening. I deserve to know what’s going on.
“Okay, are we going to talk about this or what?”
“I’ll go with ‘or what.’”
“Come on, you don’t need to tell me everything, but you were in there for almost two hours, Uncle Jerry. I’m worried. Just tell me what’s happening.”
He sighs as he lowers himself into his recliner. Jinx leaps up, snuggling into him.
When he doesn’t answer immediately, I continue. “What on earth could possibly have taken so long? Did they do chest X-rays or something? Is it pneumonia? I promise I won’t freak out, just tell me,” I am practically begging, my voice getting more and more emotional.
He’s petting Jinx, looking down at her fur.
“Well, it’s not pneumonia.”
Thank God for that.
“Before I tell you what I went over with doc today, I need you to know a few things. When Lola and I couldn’t get pregnant for years and years, we gave up on ever having a child. That is, until the day we were blessed to call you ours. You know, I see Lola in you every day, and I like to think that you get some of your spunk from my influence. “
What’s he saying?
I feel my throat getting thick, tears prickling at my eyes.
“I just want you to know you have been a cherished gift to us, and even when I’m gone, Lola and I will be looking out for you, just like your mama has been all these years.”
My breath is getting faster. “Uncle Jerry, you’re scaring me here. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve been to see the doc a few times over the last couple weeks while you were at work. The last time they ran my cholesterol he said something showed up, so we had to run more tests. We went over the results today.” He pauses before speaking again. “Jeanie, it’s Stage IV liver cancer. They’re not sure, but I’m pretty certain it’s spread to my lungs as well. They’re going to start me on chemo soon, but… at my age, and because it’s already so progressed, it doesn’t look good.”
The wind rushes out of me. Tears stream down my cheeks but I fight to stay in control.
“What? What does that mean exactly? ‘It doesn’t look good’?” I ask, hugging him, my tears falling onto his shirt front.
He strokes my hair. “Jeanie…”
“You can’t leave me, you have to fight this. You’re all I have!”
“I know, dear. I don’t want to leave you either. It’ll be okay. People fight cancer all the time and win, right? If the Korean War didn’t take me, I’m sure as hell not going to let some damn cancer take me out without putting up a fight.”
He’s soothing me, but I can hear the doubt and fatigue in his voice. The news has taken its toll on him too and I feel selfish for forcing him to comfort me when he is the one who has the hardest path forward.
I’m drying my eyes. “I think I just need to go get some air, get things straight in my head, and you look like you could use a rest.”
He doesn’t argue with me on that.
I help him to his bedroom and kiss him on the forehead. “I love you, Uncle Jerry.”
His eyes are already closed, his breathing slowing, but as I reach the door, he replies, “Love you too, sweetheart.”
*
I’m walking aimlessly. It’s late afternoon and the streets are as busy as they get for Silver Springs, shadows playing out pleasant scenes as they stretch across the pavement.
My cheeks are splotched and my eyes raw from the tears that aren’t stopping. Behind my Aviators I’m hiding my appearance and trying to block out all the everyday happiness around me.
Wildly, I’m grasping, searching for some straw of sanity, something steady to hold on to.
I see a car come out of the car wash and think about the GTO. If I can get it fixed for him, maybe it’ll give Jerry something to hold onto. If not that, at least it would be one less regret to weigh on him.
Finding something to focus all this energy on, a mission crystallizes in my mind. I have to fix the GTO… but how?
I don’t want charity from Mason and, even after what he said at the diner, I still don’t want the idea I might owe him something more than payment to be on the table.
I’m lost in thought, steps eating pavement, and before I know it, I realize I’m standing in the shade of the awning across the street from The Crank & Wrench.
What are you doing? You can’t just go back in there and act like the other day didn’t happen.
I’m about to turn and leave when I see Mason through the large paned windows. He’s at the front desk, looks to be counting out his till, probably getting ready to close down for the night. One hallmark of Silver Springs is that, aside from the Diner, the Drive-In, and the Silver Canteen, not much stays open after about 6pm.
My mind a mess, I compulsively cross the street and walk into the shop, making the tinkling bells jingle. Mason looks up, bewildered when he sees me.
The phone rings before I can say anything. He whispers a quick, “Give me just a moment,” as he answers.
I put my sunglasses on my forehead and walk around the store. It looks like he’s gotten a number of deliveries that are stacked up by the door, haphazardly. Receipts and invoices are scattered on the desk. The small tools and parts for sale in the retail space are chaotic and disorganized.
I’m not much of an eavesdropper, but it’s a little hard not to hear that he’s talking about scheduling a tune-up or some such. He’s scrambling to find his schedule under the swamp of carbon copies on the desk. Suddenly, an idea dawns on me.
He hangs up the phone and looks up to me. “Sorry, about that.”
“It’s fine,” I answer, not quite sure how to broach the subject.
“I have to say, I wasn’t expecting to see you here again.”
“I had no intention of coming back, but things have changed…” I feel myself start to crack and curl my hand, stabbing my nails into my palm to steady myself. “I have a counter offer for you.”
He looks surprised and a touch amused “Oh? I’m all ears.”
I tilt my chin up, determined. “I’ll pay you what I’ve got now for the work on my uncle’s car. I’ll work for you here in the storefront to cover the rest.”
He sighs. “I already told you, you can just make payments over time. You don’t need to work it off like some kind of indentured servant.”
“I’m not interested in getting any favors from you. Now, look, I’m a hard worker, I’m neat, I’m organized, and you need someone to straighten this place out.”
“Oh, so now you’re telling me what I need?”
“Hey, a fact is a fact. Trust me, in this town, you don’t want people thinking you’re a slob.”
“Slob? That’s a strong word.”
“Do you disagree?” I ask, looking at the room.
He narrows his eyes. “Besides the point, I’m not entirely sure I want someone who is going to be pecking at me and ready to jump down my throat at the slightest provocation. What’s changed all of a sudden that you want to cut a different deal?”
I take a deep breath. Keep it together, Jeanie. “I’ve just realized time is precious and…” I can feel my eyes prickling again. “Maybe we can just start over… please. I just really need to fix his car for him... He doesn’t have a lot of time left.”
Mason looks a little unsettled by the emotion I can’t seem to control. I wipe my eyes and take a few steadying breaths waiting for him to respond.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have someone managing all this for me…” he starts, before I jump in, eager to lock in a deal and get out of here.
“Good, so it’s settled. Here’s my number and address, in case of emergency,” I blabber, scrawling it out on a scratch paper. “I’ll be here tomorrow after I sort my schedule at the diner. Would you rather have me in the morning or the afternoon?”
I realize how that sounds after I’ve said it.
He takes a moment to answer before clearing his throat. “I suppose the morning would work better, since I’ve been getting the most customers about that time.”
“Great,” I reply, short. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”