****
It was times like these that Angela almost wished she didn’t take up the job to act as Shane’s girlfriend. She should have known she couldn’t keep herself detached the moment she met him. By the time they reached downstairs and met his parents and their guests, Angela had her feelings under control but they still churned beneath the surface. She wanted to hate him for his single-mindedness in wanting to convince his mother about his ploy. It was all he seemed to care about even at the sacrifice of what was happening between them. The passion they felt for each other was just a means to an end for him, or wasn’t it?
She was mostly on autopilot and did what was necessary to keep a smile pasted on her face. She absolutely would not speak to Shane directly as she still bristled with indignation that he’d merely kissed her to heat her up in readiness for display. She knew she still seemed a little flustered but couldn’t tell what anyone might be thinking of her hot cheeks and somewhat bruised lips. Shane’s mother had shown no undue interest in Angela’s appearance so she figured all was well. His dad was polite and sweet to her and even seemed a tad bit shy.
It was an evening of casual country dining and charm which Angela tried as much as she could to enjoy. They were a small group; six in all with Shane’s cousin Marcus and Valerie’s good friend Gina present. Gina was much like a carbon copy of Valerie in terms of dress and mannerism with the only difference being she was far more petite in stature. Marcus was very friendly to the point of flirty and Angela couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing it deliberately to annoy Shane. There seemed to be a quite a bit of good-humored cousin competition going on between them.
The meal passed without incident and Shane seemed much at ease, showing no discomposure about his scars and none of the others even acting like they existed. Angela figured they’d grown accustomed to seeing his face.
Angela answered Valerie’s many interested questions as best as she could, keeping her expression friendly so that no one could tell she was in turmoil. She’d gotten herself into a tight mess and nothing seemed to be helping. Certainly not Marcus, acting too familiar by leaning close to speak almost in her ear about some inconsequential tidbit or the other. She felt Shane’s flashing eyes each time but chose not to meet them. If he had any issues, he could pick it up with his cousin, not her. She was content to sit pretty so to speak, and do her job. That’s all Shane had ever really asked of her and she was a fool for dreaming of taking things deeper.
The meal couldn’t end soon enough for Angela, whose spirits seemed to sink with each course. She didn’t fit in here; she couldn’t imagine why Shane picked a woman like her. She had no clue about what the others spent the evening discussing. They all knew people Angela had never met or even heard about and Valerie and her friend Gina kept bringing up topics Angela could make no serious contribution to like scrapbooking or canning pickles. To make matters worse, Shane hardly had anything to say to her and allowed everyone else to seize all of his attention. That wouldn’t have pissed her off so bad, but then when she tried to converse with Marcus who was on her other side, she’d feel Shane’s body stiffen beside hers or he’d go so far as to place a warning hand on her knee. What on earth he thought she could get going with his cousin here in front of everyone was beyond her.
All in all, dinner was excruciating even with all the good country cooking which was every bit as good as the refined dining she’d enjoyed at Shane’s home. Everything managed to make Angela feel like a fish out of water and she was actually counting down the minutes when she could escape to her – their room.
She felt like they all knew there was someone in their midst that didn’t belong. Angela couldn’t help thinking of Bridget’s words all those weeks ago, warning Angela that she wouldn’t fit into Shane’s world. Boy, she was right!
Shane would be lucky to find a woman like her in reality. At least she didn’t care about his money or background. All she understood was the thrill he gave her with only one glance, and how she longed for the brush of his palm on her skin, even if just lightly. She’d never dreamed to end up being infatuated with him and she hoped it was something she could keep in check. She couldn’t say she hadn’t been warned and the last thing she wanted was to have him laughing in her face at the end.
“Are you all right, honey?” Valerie asked solicitously, her smile directed at the quiet Angela. Everyone was helping clear the table, carrying their own plates to the kitchen. Angela pushed her chair under the table and turned quickly to Shane’s mother’s voice. “You look a little tired. I hope the evening hasn’t been too much of a strain.”
“I’m okay,” Angela replied, feeling everyone’s eyes turn to her. “Dinner was lovely, thank you Valerie. But I’m beginning to feel like I might be coming down with a bug or something. It’s been a long day.”
“Well, I have a cabinet stocked with every kind of medicine you can think of. If you need anything, you let me know. Okay, sweetheart?” Valerie offered kindly. “Do you want to go on up to bed and turn it early?”
“Yes, I think I will.”
“I’ll come with you,” Shane said, already rising to join Angela as she stood.
“No, please dear I wouldn’t dream of dragging you away,” Angela said firmly, placing a hand on his chest for a brief moment. “I can find my way up; it’ll be perfectly fine.”
To his credit, Shane looked far from convinced as he made to say more, but then he seemed to change his mind and nodded, planting a warm kiss on her jaw. “I’ll be up shortly,” he said quietly.
Angela turned to the room and said a general goodnight and walked out of the room with as much composure as possible. Once out of everyone’s sight she turned in the opposite direction and made her way outside to the big porch stretching along the length of the house. She settled into the wide, white swing at one end and let out a long breath.
The evening sun had long since settled behind the mountains, backlighting them from behind. The view was peaceful with the clouds starting to float down and cover the mountaintops. Down the hill below the house was a rolling pasture with an old red barn. She could barely make out the form of cows making their way in for the night.
She liked it here on the farm.
It would be a nice place for children to run and play. Or grandchildren…
The screen door creaked as someone walked through and then let it slam shut with a loud bang behind them. She glanced up to see Shane’s father, Lloyd moving toward her.
“I thought you might be getting chilly out here missy,” he said, handing her a knitted shawl and then sitting down on the swing beside her. “Mind if I sit here with you a bit?”
She smiled at him, appreciating his kind gesture. “No, I don’t mind. I could use the company.”
“Thought you might,” he said. “I’m sorry about dinner tonight. Those women should’ve known you wouldn’t be interested in the latest canning techniques. They didn’t mean to be rude. They’re just intimidated and didn’t know what to say to you.”
Angela was surprised. “Intimidated? You mean, by me?”
Lloyd let out a laugh. “Well sure honey. You’re a beautiful, fancy actress and they’re just old country gals. Valerie was a nervous wreck, thinking she was making a bad impression on Shane’s new girl.”
“I was afraid they didn’t like me,” Angela admitted with a wry smile.
“What a crazy notion! Why?”
She shrugged. “I’m sure you would have picked out someone different for Shane if you had the choice.”
Lloyd slapped his knee and laughed out loud at that. “You’ve probably figured out by now we didn’t have many choices where Shane was concerned. Stubborn as a mule and pig-headed too that boy always was-and still is. With the exception of twisting his arm and making him go to college we haven’t had a whole lot of influence on him since he was a boy.”
Angela smiled, liking the thought of Shane as a child. “Tough kid, huh?”
“The worst,” Lloyd replied emphatically. “When he was fourteen, we found out he was sneaking out at night and hitch-hiking over to the Tri-County Raceway. That wouldn’t have been so bad except he was racing the damn cars once he got there, without a license at fourteen! His Mama lit him up when she found out. Not that it did any good. All that boy ever wanted to do was drive. He was born to be behind the wheel of a racecar.”
Angela saw the love for Shane glowing in his dad’s eyes. “You must’ve been very proud of him.”
“Oh yes, we were so proud. Still are. Everything he’s been through. It would’ve been enough to break a weaker man. Does he ever mention the wreck?”
Angela bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “No. Never. I know it’s on his mind though, all the time.”
“I’m not surprised. That damn accident almost killed him. I wasn’t sure Valerie would get through it all either. She was heartsick with worry and stayed by his bedside for almost a year. With Shane though, it wasn’t just the burns and scars he had to deal with. He lost one of his good friends, Reggie Wilson that day too. That was by far the worst part for him to deal with.”
Angela sat up straighter. For some reason, the info she’d dug up on Shane hadn’t mentioned the two racecar drivers were close. “The other driver was his friend? Oh Jesus! I didn’t know that part.”
Lloyd ran a tired hand over his face and touched the floor with his foot, sending the swing into motion again. “Those two boys had raced together for years. Sure they were competitors, but when the race was over, they’d be under the hood of each other’s cars, fixing engines. They were inseparable for years. Shane blames himself for Reggie’s death and he can’t work past the guilt. It was an accident, plain and simple. Nobody’s fault: least of all Shane’s. They were running a maneuver they’d done a million times before. Reggie’s car barely touched the wall, but that was all it took to set the whole damn thing in motion. The single worst moment of my life.”
Tears stung Angela’s eyes and she tried to blink them away. “I can’t possibly imagine what you must’ve felt sitting up there in the stands. Having to watch it unfold and being unable to stop it,” she whispered.
“After it happened, Valerie and I both said we didn’t want Shane to ever race again. But after watching him all these months I’ve realized something. Shane needs to race again. To get behind the wheel of a racecar and drive. He needs it. He lives for it. He’ll never be whole again until he does.”
Angela shook her head in confusion. “But you just said…”
He held up his hand. “I know what I said. What his Mama and I want doesn’t matter. I realize that now, whether his Mama does or not. Shane needs to live again. To race again. I think you can make that happen.”
“Me?” Angela’s voice croaked. “What makes you think I have any influence on Shane? We’ve only been dating a short while and I don’t think he’d listen to anything I said.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Stand by him. We’ve heard about the progress he’s made lately since he met you; throwing dinner parties, going out in public. Listen, I don’t pretend to know what kind of a crazy deal you two have going on. Something’s not quite on the up and up between you two, I can feel it. On the other hand, neither one of you can keep your eyes off the other when you think they’re not looking. I see how he watches you all the time and I can guarantee he never looked at another woman like that. You mean something to him.”
Her heart leaped. Oh God. If only that were true.
“I sure hope so,” Angela replied honestly, “because your son means the world to me.”
“Then tell me how’s he doing, Angela? How’s he really doing? I know he’s trying to paint a pretty picture for us but I need to know. The truth. Just you and me. I promise I won’t say a word to his Mama. I need her to believe he’s better as much as Shane does.”
Oh shit! Lloyd knew she was a phony. He’d seen right through their little farce. Shane would be so disappointed with her if he found out. Maybe even fire her right away and send her packing.
“He’s doing okay,” she finally answered. “The first few times we went out in public it was hard for him…the stares, the horrified looks. He handled it well though and it seemed to get easier for him. Believe it or not, I actually managed to coax him into dancing with me the other night.”
Lloyd’s face lit up. “You did? I’d like to have seen that. That’s good to hear. Real good, Angela. What about his drinking? And…the other stuff.”
“We’re together most of the time and I haven’t seen him drinking much at all.” She figured a little white lie wouldn’t hurt under the circumstances. “And the other stuff is in the past. He told me all about trying to wean himself from the painkillers once he left the burn center. You don’t need to worry about that anymore. Shane is doing well. He’s going to be okay, honest. I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t think it was the truth.” As she said the words, she knew in her heart they were true.
With or without her, Shane Davis was going to be fine.
Lloyd stood up and held out his hand to her. “I feel a million times better after talking with you sweetheart. We’d better go back in and let you slip on up to your room. If Valerie finds you out here she’ll be trying to impress you with her crocheting skills or worse.” He stopped at the screen door and turned around. “You said something earlier about you not being our choice for Shane. I want you to know that I would be very proud to have you in our family. You’re good for Shane and that means you’re good for this family. As far as I’m concerned, you’re already a part of it.”
Oh damn! Now she really was going to cry and make a fool of herself. In a rare impulsive move, she grabbed Shane’s father in a brief hug. “Thank you, Lloyd” she said before excusing herself and heading up to her room.