***
It seems like forever before Jesse returns. By the time he opens the door and steps inside, I’ve worked myself up into a frenzied state of anxiety.
I’m freaking out, not only over the situation with Big Roy and my brother, but also because I can’t imagine spending another celibate night lying next to Jesse. I don’t know what he expects from me or how long I can continue to hold him at bay.
Or even if I want to try.
I’m so confused and a mental wreck inside.
“Everything okay?” I ask, worried by the serious look on his face.
“Nothing for you to worry about,” he says, giving me a reassuring smile. “You’re safe here with me. To get to you, Big Roy will have to go through thirteen big men first. My crew knows that protecting you is our top priority right now.”
“You told them about me?”
He throws me a curious look. “Of course I told them. How could we keep you safe otherwise? We work as a group, a family. What hurts one of us harms us all. If I’m ever not here, any of my men will protect you the same as I would. You understand? You’re under our protection now.”
He moves to sit down on the bed beside me, leans back against the headboard, and stretches out his long legs.
“Not really,” I say, confused. “Why would they do that? I mean, all I have done is make things worse between you and the Liberators. Why would your men care one way or the other what happens to me?”
He takes my hand in his and rubs his thumb along the back. “They care because I care. This mess with the Liberators isn’t your fault. Bad blood has run between us for years. You happened to get caught up in it, that’s all. Don’t blame yourself. At least now they’ve finally come out of the shadows where they’ve been hiding. The Steel Infidels has an opportunity to make things right once and for all.”
“This is all a bit much for me to take in,” I say, still feeling partially responsible for everything. “Whenever I overheard the Liberators talking about feuds and fights, I always thought they were greatly exaggerating things and telling tall tales. Now I’m finding out it’s all real. Like stuff you see on television, except worse.”
Jesse chuckles softly. “The life of a biker isn’t always easy,” he says. “Especially for our women.” He continues slowly stroking my hand. “There’s something I need to ask you. Whatever you say won’t change things between us.”
“Okay,” I say hesitantly. “What is it?”
“Are you willing to tell me where we can find the Liberators? We need to know where they’re staying.”
I let that sink in for a moment. Of course he would need to ask me this.
“What about my brother?”
Jesse lets out a long breath and looks away. “I’m not going to lie to you. He’s a big fucking problem. I can’t promise you he won’t get hurt. I would be lying to you if I did.”
“But he…”
“You need to remember, Trish. He made the choice to stick by Big Roy, even after knowing everything he’s done in the past and what he wants to do to you now.”
“He’s still my brother,” I say emphatically. “The only sibling I have.”
“I get it,” he replies. “I have brothers too. It doesn’t change the circumstances. We can strike first or wait for them to come after us. Either way, you’re not going to be able to stop the inevitable from happening. The bottom line is if they come here, you’ll be in more danger than if we go after them. I would rather have the upper hand than sit around on our asses waiting for their move.”
Jesse lets go of my hand and waits silently while I think it over. If I tell him where the Liberators are, I’ll put my brother in danger. If I don’t, I’ll be endangering myself, Jesse, and the men who have agreed to protect me.
Once my decision is made, the words tumble out rapidly. “We were staying at the Beachcomber on the other end of the strip.” I need to tell him everything before I lose my nerve. “It’s a rundown dive of a hotel. There are six guys total: Big Roy, Ty, and four other members. They’re all carrying guns.”
Jesse pulls out his cell phone and rapidly sends off a text, I presume to one of his brothers.
Oh God! What have I set in motion?
“They have guns? Well, so do we,” Jesse says with a cocky grin. “What?” he asks when he catches the shocked expression on my face. “I said that to reassure you, not scare you. Every biker in Panama City is packing weapons of some kind. Do you know how to handle a gun? If not, I’ll teach you. Every woman should know for their own protection.”
Hell no, I don’t want to handle a gun!
I wonder what strange dimension I’ve stepped into.
“No, I don’t want to know,” I say firmly. “I’m scared to death of guns. They make me nervous. I’m not touching a gun.”
“That’s only because you aren’t comfortable around them. Once you learn how to handle one safely, you won’t be afraid anymore.”
“Do you honestly think I’m in enough danger that I should learn how to use a gun?” The thought worries me. “Or are you just trying to scare me?”
“I would never scare you unnecessarily. I only want to keep you safe. Whatever it takes to do that.”
His cell phone beeps and he checks the incoming text before snapping the phone shut.
“Your crew is going after the Liberators, aren’t they?”
“Not tonight, and definitely not without me,” he says firmly. “Flint and a couple of the guys are taking a ride over to the Beachcomber to see if their bikes are still there. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Liberators have already moved locations after hearing from your brother.”
I can’t help but be relieved that a confrontation between the two clubs won’t be happening tonight. I need time to catch my breath.
“You must think I’m crazy to still love my brother,” I say, feeling as if I should apologize. “He’s not all bad. I know it’s hard to understand after seeing how he treats me.”
Jesse puts an arm around my shoulder and tugs me closer to him. His body is hot. I want to lay my head on his shoulder, close my eyes, and melt into his warmth.
“No, it’s not so hard to understand. My Dad isn’t always the nicest guy in the world either. You can’t choose your family though, and you sure as hell can’t help how you feel.”
He reaches up to brush my hair back from my face. “Are you upset about staying here with me again tonight? I know it isn’t your first choice of accommodations, but it’s the only way to keep you safe.”
I give in to the urge to put my head on his shoulder. Immediately, I feel safer surrounded by his warmth.
“My plans seem to change every five minutes lately. I’m not upset. Uncomfortable is a better word. I hope you realize that I’m normally not like this. I don’t do one-night stands or hookups with strange guys I’ve just met.” I look up at him and realize I can’t think straight when I’m gazing into his blue eyes. “This isn’t the real me. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and think I’m some cheap woman without morals.”
“I suspected that all along,” he teases, his eyes twinkling. “Tell you what. I’ll go bunk with Flint tonight in his room. He’s right next door. Give you some breathing space. You need time to calm down and get some rest. The last twenty-four hours must have been tough on you. We don’t need to rush things. There’s plenty of time. No hurry.”
He leans over and softly kisses my lips then ruffles my hair. “Things always look brighter in the morning.” He stands and walks to the door. “Lock the deadbolt behind me. Don’t open the door for anyone and keep the lights dim so nobody can see in through the curtains. If you get scared, you can always bang on the wall and I’ll hear you. If you need me, I’ll be here.”
Is he really leaving? Just like that?
“Jesse, wait,” I call out as he turns the doorknob. “Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone tonight. Stay with me.”
He pauses at the door, turning reluctantly to face me. He shoves his hair back with his hand. “If I stay, this is only going to go one way. We both know it. There’s no way in hell I can spend another night next to you without touching your gorgeous body. I have willpower, but I’m not a damn saint. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything.”
I pat the bedspread beside me in invitation.
“Fuck,” he swears, looking like he is about to turn and leave anyway. Then without warning, he is striding to the bed and stripping the sheets from my fingers. I yelp in surprise.
He doesn’t touch me and instead leans his arms on either side of my body. The atmosphere stills around us. Without tearing his eyes from mine, he says, “Tell me to leave, Trish, and I’ll go. If you tell me that fucking you is something you don’t want, I’ll respect your wishes. I’m not Big Roy, and I won’t force a woman into being with me. There’s nothing more that I want and need right now than to make you mine. But you have to want it too. As much as I do.”
I shiver at the intense heat in his eyes and suddenly feel shy. What if he’s disappointed in me? My sex life up to now has been limited and unsatisfying.
“I’m not experienced like those other women,” I whisper.
His harsh expression softens at my words. “I know,” he says in a gentler tone than before. “I want you so much I feel like my cock is going to explode, but I can wait until you’re ready.” He blows out a long breath and touches his forehead to mine. “That’s a lie. Please tell me you’re ready now.”
His tortured words make my heart trip. I know exactly how he feels. No way can I wait another second either. I’d been waiting since the first second I caught a glimpse of his tattooed muscular body making its way toward me at the bar.
The solid weight of his body holds me down and keeps me from moving or bolting out the door. Not that I want to. My fingers itch to sink into the dark waves of his hair. Instead I fist the sheets on either side of me as his hot breath fans my earlobe. I feel the tension in his every muscle as he strives to stay in control.
“I want to take you now,” he says. “Pin you to the bed, spread your thighs as far apart as they can go, and fuck you senseless. But tonight we’re going to go slow…really slow,” he adds softly. “I want this to be a night to remember.”
He kisses me right behind my ear. My skin feels hot and I can barely meet his gaze. He chuckles at my shyness, leaning down and closing the distance between our lips.
“Do you have any clue what you do to me?” he murmurs before covering my mouth possessively in a kiss. Our breaths mingle as I eagerly open my lips wider. Long minutes pass before he draws away slightly, just enough for me to try to catch my unsteady breath. I feel his smile as he kisses my bottom lip.
“You make me rock hard just by looking at you. Every man in the bar wanted you tonight. I was in agony watching them and knowing what they were thinking.” His mouth moves to kiss along my jaw line and continues lower. “They were thinking of all the things they wanted to do to you. Just like I was. And now I am.”
I shiver at his words.
“They were wondering how it would feel to touch your breasts,” he says, tugging my shirt up over my head. He stares at my breasts for a moment in pure wonder before cupping each full globe in his hands and thumbing the nipples. “And how responsive your nipples would be.” Dipping his head, he captures a nipple in his mouth and tugs hard. My fingers clench in his hair and he growls his approval.
“I promise it will be so good,” he whispers in my ear. “I will spend all night pleasing you.”
He moves his hand lower, and I hold my breath as he slides his hand further down my stomach. Embarrassed by the moan that escapes my mouth, I grab his hand. This is moving too fast and I’m not sure what I’m getting into.
“Jesse, wait,” I say.
My hand closes around his wrist as he slides his hand under my panties, parts my swollen lips, and pushes his middle finger deep inside all the way up to his knuckle. I hear him grunt softly as I instinctively grind against his hand, shocked and amazed by how delicious his finger feels. I close my eyes and shudder when he slides a second finger in and strokes my snug tightness.
“Tell me what you want,” he says, running his lips along my throat. “What you need from me.”
I can show him faster than I can possibly say it.
Reaching for his belt buckle, I hurriedly undo it, unzip his jeans, and slide my hand inside to wrap around his hard length. He groans and strains against my hand.
“We’re reaching the point of no going back,” he says hoarsely. “Are you sure?”
I nod and stroke my hand down the length of his cock as my answer.
“Thank you Jesus!” he says.
He stands up by the edge of the bed and quickly strips off his clothes. I’m speechless as I gaze up in awe at his deeply tanned, muscular body. A large Steel Infidels tattoo runs across the front of his chest. Several smaller tattoos cover his neck, shoulders, arms, and back. I try not to stare, but I can’t help checking out the thick, long erection between his legs too. Thank you Jesus is right.
Grasping my ankles, he pulls me down the length of the bed then quickly grabs my panties and tugs them off. Immediately he covers my entire body with his. I close my eyes and slide my hands down his back. Damn! His muscular ass feels delicious underneath my palms.
Urgently, he claims my lips before leaving a trail of kisses between my breasts and down my stomach. When he reaches my legs, he pauses and looks up at me with blue eyes hazy with desire.
“Open your legs,” he coaxes. “I want to see your pussy spread wide for me.”
I swallow and try hard to fight back against the timidness welling up in me. If he only knew how pathetic my sexual experience has been. The desire to please him is stronger than the need to protect my modesty, so I pull my knees up and spread my legs wide apart just like he asked.
“Breathtaking,” he says, before moving between my legs and placing his cock at the entrance to my pussy lips.
In an instant, he penetrates me, leaving me gasping from sweet agony. With barely a pause, he sinks in.
“Damn! You are so fucking wet and tight,” he says, lifting his face from my neck to gaze at me. “I could stay inside you forever. This feels so good.”
“I know,” I say.
“I need to move, sweetheart,” he says softly. “And I need you to tell me it’s okay. I can pull out or keep going. All you have to do is say no and I’ll stop. Just say the word.”
He holds completely still, letting me adjust to his width.
“No, I want you,” I say, pulling him deeper as I feel him start to withdraw. “It feels too good to stop now.”
“You want it slow and easy?” he murmurs as he starts moving.
“Yes,” I whisper.
Shallow at first with a smooth, steady rhythm, Jesse takes me, allowing only a few inches of his cock to slide in and out until my body relaxes. He pumps in steady strokes, sliding and stroking, making me feel him deep inside.
Everything he gives, I have no choice but to take and keep taking. He rocks in deeper and harder while intently watching my every expression. Leaning down, he kisses my lips again, then my throat, before moving lower and capturing my nipple in his mouth.
“Is it good?” he asks huskily.
His hoarse voice breaks through my daze. Not trusting my voice, I speak instead with my body, my legs locking around his sides tightly while my hips move almost imperceptibly beneath him, urging him on.
The next second he pulls out slightly again and then thrusts more powerfully, jolting me back against the pillows. He is buried so deep inside me now. Beads of sweat break out on our skin, making us slide slickly against each other.
My nails rake down his muscular back as the pressure mounts deep inside me until I’m writhing and frantic, impatient for more. My teeth sink deep into his neck when I suddenly cum in a rush.
Jesse groans as my whole body spasms uncontrollably around his hard cock and I lose control over my muscles as they ripple and contract.
“Trish,” he breathes when my body goes perfectly still.
I open my eyes and gaze up at him. Bringing him into focus is difficult. There is strain on his face from holding back. He isn’t even breathing hard, though the sheen of perspiration on his forehead shows how much effort it is taking for him to slow things down for me.
“I can’t hold back much longer,” he says.
Linking my arms behind his neck, I whisper to him, “It’s okay. Let go.”
I hear the hitch in his breath as he quickens his pace. His thrusts grow choppy and I buck my hips up to meet his. His hard cock swells and then starts to pulse deep inside me.
“Fuck!”
He pushes in to the balls and buries his face in my throat while his body shudders in release.
Several minutes later, we’re both still breathing raggedly. He rests his forehead against mine, his chest heaving, while his elbows are braced at my sides to support his weight.
“I don’t want to move,” he says. “I could stay like this forever.”
With a regretful sound, he slides out of me and rolls off. I glance over and he is staring up at the ceiling with a dazed look on his face. Turning his face toward mine, he reaches out and touches my cheek with his finger.
“You’re unbelievable,” he says. “Everything I could have wanted and so much more.”
Pulling me to his chest, he holds my face in his hands and stares into my eyes.
“Promise me you’ll be here in the morning. No more running away this time. I need to hear you say it. Promise me.”
No way am I leaving him again.
“I promise.”