As I enter the lawyer’s office, I am determined to get everything finished with Barry expediently and be done with all of this. He's dragged me along this far, and all I want is closure. I tried to dress conservatively, not looking to incur any of his “holy” wrath because he sees an inch of my cleavage. I am so done with Barry. He never wanted anything to do with my lady parts the instant we got married. I can't believe this all might be over soon, because since I realized that I needed this divorce, everything started to move in slow motion.

I walk into the large, marble-floored lobby of my lawyer's office. Jeremy Wakefield, my lawyer, has been so great through this ordeal, and at least I have good counsel to get through this process. The beautiful bronze statues flanking the lobby seem to stare me in the face as I walk to the elevator. Looking through the elevator doors until the statues disappear from my field of vision, I wish I could just stay here in this lobby. Let Jeremy do all the work.

Unfortunately, I have to handle this with my lawyer… And with Barry.

The elevator opens at the top floor and I emerge to find my lawyer standing there. He nods, smiling at me.

"Barry's already here," Jeremy says. "Let’s get started."

I take a deep breath to strengthen my resolve.

This is going to turn out how I want it to. I repeat my little mantra to myself, hoping it will calm me. Fake it till you make it and all that.

I don't want anything from Barry, just for us to go our separate ways. I'm so close to freedom I can taste it. I just feel foolish having rushed into this relationship with Barry. I thought I’d found a good man who would be part of the way I saw my life going. Barry seemed to think something very much the same, yet me having a career seemed to be at total odds with his idea of a preacher’s wife.

I follow my lawyer down the all-too-familiar long, narrow hallway leading to the book-lined corner office, and he opens the door.

Barry is sitting there, fists clenched in his lap and that same frustrated look plastered over his face like it has been, sadly, not too long after we got married. His lawyer, Paul Carson is there too, and he gives me a friendly smile. I offer one back to be courteous and sit down. My stomach clenches for a moment and my heart flutters, but I try to keep calm. I’m young, and I made a mistake, but I’m trying to rectify it. It should be simple, right? I’ve been back in these offices signing enough paperwork, so it shouldn’t be too bad. I mean...how much more work can there possibly be? I’m not asking for anything but to end this marriage.

I take my seat on the opposite side of the wooden table so that I’m as far from Barry as possible.

Jeremy takes his seat. "We are here to settle the divorce between Elena and Barry. Both parties are present with their assigned counsel. Proceedings will begin now."

Barry’s lawyer, Paul, begins, "My client, Barry, is seeking damages because his profession as a pastor has been ruined by the ending of this marriage. My client maintains that Elena chose her career over him and that led to the dissolution of this marriage."

What? I knew Barry was being difficult about the divorce, but I had no idea he was actually going to take his pettiness to a fiscal level. This is unbelievable!

"Barry, we talked about this," I say directly to him. "I thought you understood. I didn’t know we were going to blame—"

My lawyer and his lawyer both advise our silence, and Barry won’t even look at me.

"This is the truth as I know it to be, " Barry says nonchalantly. There’s an iciness to the words that tell me he doesn’t care about my feelings here. It’s hard to imagine that I could’ve married a man that I thought loved me, yet he could have no regard for me and decide that I’m damaging him by trying to have a career and by trying to amicably dissolve our obviously failed marriage.

"All right, let's return to these proceedings at hand," my lawyer says. "I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

"Well only if your party can agree to substantial damages," Paul says.

"I will not be dragged through the dirt and rung out for what I have," I say, my voice getting a tad frantic. I can’t help it as I feel myself going into shock. My palms are sweating, and my stomach hurts. I was nervous before, but now I’m mad.  "This isn’t how this is going to work at all. I have to be treated fairly, not accused and held up for whatever you decide you want, Barry."

I know that Barry is opposed to the divorce and wanted to salvage a marriage he never fought to make good, but he isn’t going to get damages out of me and accuse me of ruining him with my career of all things. His unwillingness to sleep with me was one thing, but when he started to refuse to talk about anything, I knew Barry and I wouldn’t work out. Still, I’m shocked by his demands. He brought me here today to shame me and to get me to pay him for it. I can tell by the crooked smile on his lips that he thinks me paying damages is some kind of retribution he can seek for me to admit I’ve done something wrong.

"You know what, Barry?” I say, trying not let my words come out in a huff.  “You never deserved me. I never should've trusted you. And for a pastor, you're just a giant liar. I would love for people to see who you really are. You made promises to me when you married me, but when I saw you didn’t want to keep them, I tried to make a responsible decision with you. But you never acted as my partner before, and you don’t want to even end this without trying to humiliate me." My lips form a thin line and hold back any of the thousand things I’d love to shout in anger.

Barry leans back in his chair and has a very smug smile on his face.

He seems to think I’ve done something in his favor by calling out just how ridiculous his accusations are. He looks so proud of himself.

I'm just disgusted.

"Well, well," Barry says. "It seems your true colors are coming to light. It's so unladylike for you, Elena." He looks at me for a brief moment before turning to his lawyer Paul. "You see what I have to deal with? She never has composure."

That’s it! I am so done with this meeting. It's obvious Barry doesn't know how to act like an adult, and I don't know why I’m surprised by this. “We are never going to get anywhere here. And I'm sad I came up here with expectations of a civil agreement,” I say, standing and leaving the office. Jeremy attempts to talk to Paul, but I don’t bother to hear what’s going on with our lawyers because I’m getting the fuck out of here.

I'm surprised by Barry’s behavior, hurt really, and now I realize this divorce may drag out because I’ve been wrong again about who Barry really is. My freedom is still out of grasp.