Chapter Fourteen
The next day, Lila and Charlie hit up another trail with a new purpose—to try to catch some rainbow trout. Lots of trout, hopefully, but Lila had her doubts about her catching anything other than water.
While Lila had been fishing with her family before, she had never fished rivers or streams. Her idea of fishing was in a boat on the lake, the sun above, while she cast, reeled, and cast again, never getting the first bite, while her expert-angler brother caught fish after fish. Eventually, she’d get tired of his gloating and would ditch the pole in favor of a good book.
So when Charlie mentioned they’d be fishing a mountain stream, from the shore because he hadn’t brought waders or the gear for fly-fishing, she thought maybe he’d be fishing. She would be lucky if she threw the lure into the right spot to even tempt a fish, let alone catch one.
To Charlie’s credit, he hadn’t mentioned her attack, likely in an effort to keep her distracted, but occasionally she would find him looking around, searching for something, then he’d glance at her and take her hand, gripping it tightly, before continuing on.
She wanted to assure him that everything was fine, no way could Wyatt be here. Besides, after she listened to her lawyer’s voicemail from yesterday, she got the impression that someone within the police department felt Wyatt could be responsible for the disappearances and was keeping a sharp eye on his every move.
She was fine.
They were fine.
But just the same, she glanced down at the pistol protruding from Charlie’s waistband, tucked inside his shirt, out of view and yet clearly there. Never in her life had she felt a gun was necessary to feel protected. Her family owned them for hunting and such, and of course, Lucas had them, but never had she considered buying one for herself. And never would she have thought she would feel so relieved for one to be near her. But then her assault changed her opinion on a lot of things.
“We’re here,” Charlie said, motioning to a stream ahead.
And wow. Forget fishing, Lila would be content to sit and take in the view. Clear, bubbling water glided over rocks, some large, some smaller. Pebbles cradled the edges, followed by green trees and foliage, the only sounds coming from the water as its current continued its path down the mountain.
“It widens just down there,” Charlie said, pointing to their right. “Until it meets the falls. We’ll scour the shore for slower moving pools, then fish upstream. Rainbows tend to like to hide, and they have amazing sight, so we have to be careful not to cast a shadow on the water, or we’ll spook them.”
“That’s a lot to think about.”
He grinned. “It is, but you get in a rhythm. And just wait until you hook one. They’re strong, will fight you hard to get off. You’ll need to show them your muscle if you hope to reel one in.”
She pointed at herself. “Wait, me? No, no. I’m like an anti-fisherman or something. I’ve never caught a fish, despite all the trips I’ve been on with my family. They catch them, even my mom. But me? Yeah, I repel them.”
Charlie’s smile spread. “Maybe you never had the right teacher.”
“Ah,” Lila said, smiling too now. “So you’re going to show me the path to fishing greatness? Teach me the real way to do it? Like a fishing Yoda.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I don’t know about a Yoda, but I’ve never been up here and left without a fish. Besides, if you don’t catch one, what are we going to eat tonight? This is survival, baby. We either hook ’em or go hungry. Kind of elevates the game. You up for the challenge?” The glint in his eyes stirred something in her belly, and despite the joking nature of the conversation, she found herself leaning in closer, pressing her lips easily to his. A surprised expression crossed his face.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”
“Please . . . feel free to lose your self-control anytime.”
Now it was Lila’s turn to laugh, the feeling spreading out in her chest, making her forget for a moment that she’d been in a dark place just months ago, unable to get out of bed, to eat, to sleep. “I like this. You make things easy, better.”
“I just told you that you have to catch a fish to eat and you call that easy? Man, I need to work on my poker face. But I’ll take it, if it gets me more of your attention.” His gaze dropped to her mouth, and he pecked her lips lightly, then again, this time a second longer, before he groaned and pulled back. “Damn Lucas,” he muttered, before nodding to the stream and taking a deliberate step away from her.
“Let’s start up there. I’ve had good luck with that bend.” He pointed with one of the poles he had carried, and then he started away, and Lila thought about the change happening between them. What would Charlie do if Lucas said no, he wasn’t okay with this? Would Charlie walk away from her? Would he choose his friendship with Lucas over what they could share together? She wouldn’t blame him and would respect him for honoring their friendship. She loved Lucas, and she would never want him to be uncomfortable, but at what point did her opinion on all of this begin to matter?
She was still lost in her thoughts when they stopped on the shore by a small, open area of water with a large rock sticking out from its depths. Charlie set down his tackle box and passed her a rod, then opened the tackle box, took out something that looked an awful lot like Play Doh, and put the hook through it.
“What is that?”
“It’s called PowerBait, and trout love the stuff. Especially rainbows. But their appetite can change quickly, so I have a few other things up my sleeve. And if we get really desperate, I brought some soft cheese and corn.”
Lila laughed. “Wow, are you going to offer them some steak, too?”
“You laugh now, but just wait.”
He prepped his rod, then directed her over to the stream’s edge. The sun peeked through the trees here and there, creating a kaleidoscope effect on the water. The air smelled like fresh rain, though the sky was clear, hardly a cloud in sight. And despite the fact that they were halfway up a mountain, Lila with no clue how to get back down without Charlie’s assistance, she wasn’t worried. Or nervous. Or scared.
She was happy.
“All right, Mr. Pro Angler, show me how it’s done.”
Charlie cast into the water, inside the bend and just beside the rock. He reeled slowly, slowly, then all of a sudden he jerked his rod up. “Got ’em.” He started reeling, then sighed. “Damn, he got off.”
Lila set down her own rod and cracked her knuckles dramatically, then shook out her shoulders. “Maybe you should let me show you how it’s done.”
Beaming, Charlie took a step back. “By all means, Tiny. Show me how a real pro does it.”
It was all for fun, and Lila knew she stood about as much chance of catching a fish as she did of getting struck by lightning in that moment. But it was fun to pretend, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy having Charlie’s eyes on her.
She followed the basic knowledge she had of fishing and combined it with what she’d seen Charlie do, then cast out to the same rock Charlie had fished moments before.
And everything went just fine for about ten seconds. Fine and altogether innocent. She held the rod and reeled every once in a while and smirked arrogantly over at Charlie, with his cute cargo shorts and Southern Dive T-shirt and backwards baseball cap. But then her smirking turning to looking, which turned to straight checking him out and how perfectly his T-shirt covered his thick biceps, and then she remembered that first day she’d seen him at the animal hospital, no shirt, all those defined muscles visible for her to drool over. Only she hadn’t checked them out, not nearly enough anyway. And now she found herself wishing that she could ask him to take the shirt off, it was a hot day after all, so she could—
“Whoa!” Something yanked on her rod, and she fumbled with it, nearly dropping it to the ground as she tried to remember what to do and how to do it.
“You got one!” Charlie called.
Panic raced through her. “Me? But I don’t know what to do!”
“Set the hook, reel him in, don’t let him off.”
What and what and what? Which was she supposed to do first and how? She gripped the pole and started reeling, but holy hell this fish was fighting. Suddenly heat roared to life inside her and sweat tricked down her back that had nothing to do with the smoking hot man beside her and everything to do with this damn fish and his epic determination to get off her hook. But oh no, this was the first fish she’d ever caught—accident or not—and by God he was not getting away.
“All right, steady the rod so it’s secure and wear him out. Let him take the line out a little, then reel him in. You don’t want to reel too fast or he’ll snap the line and get away.”
Lila tried to follow Charlie’s instructions, to steady the rod, but the little joker was pulling hard, and she felt her own biceps coming to life to try to keep the pole from flying into the water, the fish taking it away like a souvenir. “How do I get him over here? He’s beating the crap out of me.”
Charlie started to laugh, until Lila glared over at him, and he covered it up with a cough. “Okay, rest the end of your rod here,” Charlie said, adjusting it so it rested against her hip. “There, now choke up on the rod, closer to the reel. Good,” he said, his hand covering hers, and then his chest was against her back, and she drew in that lemony-spice scent of his, and almost dropped the damn pole again. He chuckled against her ear. “Easy, Tiny Girl. Remember we need that fish for dinner.”
“Then you should probably take a step back, because I’m seconds away from saying screw the fish and attacking you.”
He went still, and Lila worried that she’d said too much too soon, but before she could worry too much about it, the trout splashed above water. “You got him now. Reel!”
And she did, slowly, then harder, then slow again, until Charlie had the net ready and grabbed him with the net. “Woohoo!” He took the fish out of it and then held it out toward her, his thumb in the fish’s mouth, holding it tight.
“Grab him. We gotta get a pic of your first catch. Then you can clean it.”
“Are you insane? I don’t know how to clean a fish.”
He handed the fish to her, and she lifted it up, smiled as he snapped several pictures with his iPhone, then he took the fish from her and placed it in the small cooler he’d brought with them. “But you’re a vet.”
She nodded slowly. “Exactly. My job is to keep animals alive, not learn all the ways to properly kill and cook them.”
“Ah, good point. All right, I’ll clean it, while you cook the veggies. Deal?”
“You giving up on catching one so soon?”
With one look, he grabbed his rod and set off back to the river’s edge. “See, I was going to let you have your win and celebrate, but oh no, you have to throw a man’s dignity on the line. So no, I’m not giving up. We’ll keep this little game going and make a little wager of it. Go by weight. Whoever weighs in the most fish, wins.”
Lila placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes at him. “And what does the winner get?”
Charlie’s attention drifted to the water as he considered what the fishing champion would win. “How about a massage?”
She cocked an eyebrow. “A massage? As in your hands on me, or my hands on you?”
“Bad idea?”
A mischievous smile took over her face. “I can handle it if you can,” she said, a challenge in her tone.
“Oh, I can handle.”
Lila grabbed her rod and went back to her place. “We shall see, Mr. Fisherman. We shall see.”
* * *
“So, that’s what your sore-loser face looks like?” Charlie asked with a grin as he peered over at Lila. “Hm, interesting. I gotta say I kind of like it.”
They had fished for another hour and ended up catching the same number of fish, but Charlie’s fish had outweighed Lila’s by a pound, so he became the winner, bragging rights and all. The only problem was the prize—the massage.
Because, while he’d told Lila he could handle it, now that said massage was before them, he wasn’t so sure. Charlie liked to think of himself as an honorable man, but he was also human, hormones and all, and he couldn’t guarantee his thoughts wouldn’t drift into dishonorable territory if Lila put her hands on him. And if she straddled his waist while giving the massage, then all bets were off. He wasn’t a superhero, after all. He was a man, and there wasn’t a man alive that could resist a woman like Lila if things became intimate. Which meant he needed to avoid the massage at all costs.
“Deep thought?” Lila asked as she went to work preparing the corn on the cob.
Charlie watched her with interest. “You cook it unshucked?”
Lila glanced up from her work. “Of course.”
Charlie scratched his head, not fully convinced. “You sure?”
“Want another bet? I’ll grill yours shucked and mine unshucked. You can taste each. If the unshucked is better, you owe me a movie night, popcorn and all. If the shucked is better, then you choose the date. But you have to be honest.”
“Date?”
Suddenly, her eyes went back to the corn, and he watched her remove the outer leaves from one, wrap it in foil and then twist the ends to secure it. “You know, just a friend date.”
“Right, like this.” Only nothing about this met the description for friend, and if they went through with the massage, then any hopes of friendship would be out the window—or tent, in this case.
“Exactly. So, you agree?”
Charlie stared at her, wishing he could say no, that they needed to take a step back. Something, anything. But instead his mouth refused to listen to his brain and he heard himself saying, “Deal.”
“But you have to be honest.”
“I’ll always be honest with you.”
He noticed her throat working as she attempted to swallow, and he wanted to ask if this was okay, whatever they were doing—being this close to each other. But how could he ask without starting a conversation he wasn’t prepared to have?
Instead, he released a breath and went back to seasoning the trout while she shucked his ear of corn, her focus fully on the task before her, though he could tell she was bothered by something. Guilt punched him in the gut. How long could he continue being loyal to Lucas while hurting Lila?
The fish went on the grill, and they sat back in their chairs, watching the fire, neither of them speaking, the silence painful. And he couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m sorry.”
She pulled her legs into the chair, her arms wrapped around them again. It was a move she’d mastered as a kid, one she pulled out whenever she was uncomfortable. He didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable around him. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”
He laughed sarcastically. “Are you kidding? There’s a lot I need to be sorry for. Every day is a tug-of-war over which person I risk hurting, and I hate it. It’s not what I want or who I want to be. I only really care about a handful of people, and right now I’m messing up. I just don’t know how to fix it.”
“Can I ask you something and you’ll be honest with me?” Lila asked.
“Of course.”
The fire crackled as it worked through the wood and twigs Charlie had pulled together when he built it. The smells of the food cooking floated all around them. Night hovered above, while the stream continued its melody in the distance. It was a perfect evening, and yet as he waited for Lila’s question, nothing in him felt at peace. His thoughts were everywhere, his heart picking up speed, his hands restless with the desire to do something. If he couldn’t fix their situation, surely he could fix something.
“What do you want?” she asked, her voice even despite the tension on her face.
He looked over at her. “I think I made that clear last night.”
“Did you? Because it feels like we take one step forward and five back. I feel you there, sense you looking at me, but then you pull away. You said if I wanted you then you were mine. Well, I do. I want you. I want this.”
Without thinking, he reached out and took her hand. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like I’ve started this, but Lucas’s out there, and the right thing to do is to tell him first. It just is. He specifically asked me not to do what I’m doing. How can I go there against his wishes? How can I take this to the next level without at least respecting him enough to tell him first? Because he’s going to be livid, freak out. He’s going to shout and scream, but at least if I haven’t already crossed the line, then we can talk about it. Help him see that this, you and me, could be great. But if I’ve already betrayed his trust, I can’t get it back. Do you understand?”
Lila stared at the fire again. “I do . . . but I think we crossed the line a long time ago.”
The words hit Charlie dead on, and though he knew what she said was true, he didn’t want to hear it. He’d tried to rationalize the whole thing in his head. A kiss wasn’t sex. They hadn’t professed any major feelings. They hadn’t announced their engagement.
They’d kissed a few times, no big deal. Only that was a lie. It was a huge deal, and—damn it.
“How about we try not to worry about this yet? We’ll tell Lucas as soon as he’s home safe. Until then, it’s fine.”
But even though he heard the logic in her words, he could tell that this was hurting her. The uncertainty of it, the risk with no guarantee of reward. He was such a jackass.
“Now stop staring at me with that guilt-stricken face. You’re hotter when you smile.” She flashed her trademark grin in his direction, and he couldn’t help but offer his own back.
“Let’s eat. An empty stomach won’t fix a thing.”
They worked together to get plates and bottled water for each of them, divvied out the trout, and then Lila brought over the corn. “All right, here you go, Mr. Know-It-All. The taste test. Here’s yours,” she said, dropping an ear of corn on his plate. “And here’s mine.” She did the same with her own, then focused back on him. “You get the first bite.”
“All right, but don’t get your hopes up. I’ve been grilling corn the same way for a long time.” He took a bite of his corn, let the sweetness coat his taste buds. Damn, he’d forgotten how much he loved grilled corn. He was tempted to take a second bite, his stomach groaning at him to hurry up and feed it, but he promised Lila he’d give her corn a real shot. Still, he didn’t think it could top what he’d just tried. Until he took a bite of hers and juicy sweetness exploded in his mouth. The unshucked corn was twice as juicy and flavorful, all the deliciousness of the first corn but multiplied.
“So?” Lila asked, obvious nervousness in her voice.
“So, I’m taking this one.” He tried to walk off with her corn and she took off after him, jumping to try to grab it as he held it high in the air, out of her reach. “Fine, just one more bite.”
“Fine.”
But as he lowered the corn, she snatched it from his grasp and took off, both of them laughing now. And Charlie knew, even if Lucas said no, even if he said he’d never speak to him again, Charlie couldn’t turn away. He was in too deep now. Lila was right—they had already crossed the line.
There was no going back.