Chapter Six
Lily and Jack spent the rest of the day entertaining Cara at home. After she wolfed down her favorite breakfast, they switched on one of her favorite movies, and they settled in to watch.
With the warm glow from the fireplace, and a good movie on, Cara felt a good warmth spread through her belly.
She glanced over at Lily who was watching intently, and Jack who was trying so hard not to be interested, but was failing miserably.
It was a rom com after all, and both Lily and Cara would tease him to death if they sensed that he liked it.
How could you not like The Notebook though?
It was a love story about two people who fought for each other despite the odds that stood in their way. A lot of people didn’t do that. It was easier to give up.
It was harder to stay and fight when the going got tough.
Sadly, most people didn’t have the slightest clue what it meant when they promised to love and cherish each other ‘in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse.’
It’s not that they didn’t mean it. They wanted to mean it, but wanting to mean it wasn’t enough. When you were deliriously happy and drunk on love, you’d agree to pretty much anything.
That’s how intoxicating it could be.
Cara knew all about that.
When you opened yourself up to an extraordinary kind of love, you also set yourself up for a world of pain if things go wrong. It was a risk most people were afraid to take. Better to settle for a mediocre love.
Cara was not one of those people.
Or at least she didn’t used to be.
She thought that love should be this blazing glory, an inferno of red hot passion that swallowed you whole.
However, she was beginning to realize that a love like that wasn’t healthy. Real love wasn’t about being overwhelmed. It was about having a steady fire that kept you steady, and gave you strength when you needed it.
That was part of the reason why her relationship with Jack fell apart so quickly because when she began to look closely, she saw the cracks. She pulled on the thread, and it pulled apart at the seams.
They didn’t have a good start to begin with, and the foundation for a lot of relationships is one of the most important things. It was like constructing a building. If your basis is shot then it doesn’t matter how well you built the rest of it, sooner or later, it’ll fall apart.
That’s exactly what happened to them.
It collapsed around Cara, and she was helpless to stop it, able only to watch the smoke and debris cover their memories.
“Stop that!” Lily called out as she threw a pillow at Cara.
It smacked her right in the middle of her face with a whack. “Stop what? I didn’t do anything.”
“I can hear you thinking from all the way over here.”
“She’s not wrong. I can barely hear myself not think over here.” Jack complained good naturedly.
Cara shrugged. “I can’t think now?”
“Not if your train of thought is going where we think it’s going.”
The couch shifted under her, and Lily got up to walk over to Cara. She made Cara scooch, and she curled up next to her. “What’s up, Car?”
“I was just thinking about my relationship with Jack,” Cara confessed. “I know I shouldn’t be, and especially because of everything that went down, and my reaction to it.”
“Honey, nobody should tell you how you should or shouldn’t think. Besides, relationships, pain, and love are all subjective. You can’t look at other people, and compare your experiences and think that you should be over it by now.”
Cara bit down on her lip. “What I don’t get over it?”
“Then you don’t,” Jack said from his spot. He picked up the remote, and paused the movie. “Some people you don’t get over, Car. You just learn to live with the pain, and that’s okay too. Nobody can force you to get over him.”
Cara nodded.
She did feel pressure to be done with this.
Not from their end though.
It was pressure that she placed on herself because of the way she perceived others around her.
“Is it crazy that I’m actually considering what he said?”
Lily shook her head. “Not at all. You’re only human, after all. I’d be surprised if you weren’t.”
“You thought he was the love of your life, Car, and he thought you were his. That’s not something you can just snap your fingers and forget.” Jack said softly as he sat next to her on the other side.
“Sometimes, I wish I could,” Cara admitted.
“We all do, but these experiences wouldn’t make us who we are, and listen if you give him a second chance, or you don’t that’s up to you. We’ll support you whatever you decide,” Lily said, gently.
“Just try not to let nostalgia color your decision.” Jack advised. “When you guys were good, you were great, but when things got ugly, things went south very quickly, and that’s not norJack. There was too much toxicity in that relationship.”
“Yeah, it took getting out of it for me to realize that.”
“It’s okay. The important thing is you know yourself better now, and if you do decide to take him back, make sure the boundaries are set from the start. He won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself,” Lily cautioned as she briefly squeezed her shoulder.
“When did you both get so wise?” Cara teased.
Lily stuck her tongue out, and Jack pretended to look offended.
“We’ve always been this wise; you’re only just noticing it,” Lily announced as she waggled her eyebrows.
“It’s not our fault you can’t appreciate how awesome we are,” Jack announced nonchalantly as he brushed imaginary lint.
“In the future, I will attempt to do that more,” Cara commented, very dryly.
***
“Should we wake her up?” Lily whispered from somewhere far away.
Cara was in the state between awake and asleep, and she was hovering on the edge of dream land. She snuggled deeper into the blanket not wanting to open her eyes and face reality again.
“Nah, let’s let her sleep for a bit. After that confession yesterday, she needs it. It is emotionally draining.” Jack said, gently.
“How did she handle it? In your opinion, I mean?” Lily asked.
Cara peaked one eye open, and saw Jack and Lily sitting cross legged across from each other. They had identical somber expressions on their face, and they hadn’t noticed that she was partially awake.
It wasn’t a bad thing.
This gave her a chance to see what they really thought.
“I think she handled it quite well. Much better than last time. When things went down, and she had to walk away, you should’ve seen her face. The amount of devastation, it was like the light in her eyes was snuffed out.”
“I remember seeing a part of that,” Lily murmured as she wrung her hands together.
“Yeah, that was just skimming the surface. Living with her was like living with a zombie. She just kind of trudged around the house, barely eating, and giving monosyllabic responses. She dropped like twenty pounds then.”
“Well.” Lily straightened up. “Regardless of how she was back then, we can’t let that happen again. Last time, we were barely able to reach inside of that bottomless pit she was in, and pull her out. We can’t risk her coming that close to the darkness a second time.”
“I agree we can’t, but what can we do?” Jack twisted his lips into a frown. His eyes shining with worry.
“Do you think it’s a good idea for her to be entertaining the idea?”
Jack looked confused for a second before comprehension dawned on his face. “Taking Jack back you mean?”
“Yeah.”
Jack sighed. “I’m not sure, to be honest. Initially, I would’ve said hell no, and I would’ve torn you to shreds for even asking me that, but right now…”
“Right now?” Lily pressed.
“You didn’t see the look on his face, Lil. I’ve never seen that look before, and I hung out with them a lot, so I knew him pretty well.”
“What kind of look was it?”
“Deep and profound regret. This was a guy who knew what he lost. He finally got it. I think up until that point he thought he could come back again. However, he didn’t think she’d actually say no, and tell him to basically either get his act together, or to go screw himself.”
“I would’ve liked to see that.” Lily smiled at the thought.
Yeah, Lily and Jack would’ve definitely enjoyed watching Cara letting Jack have it. It was liberating, in the best possible way.
“Me too. It’s too bad I had a phone call at the same time.” Jack sounded annoyed at the prospect. “Anyways, when we first arrived at the hospital, I caught a look that flashed across his face, and it was love, Lil. He still loves her.”
Cara tried not to make a sound.
She was sure that he didn’t love her anymore.
Or maybe that was just what she wanted to tell herself.
If he didn’t love her then that would make what he did more bearable. Hurting someone you never loved like that was crappy, but it happened sometimes.
Twisting the knife in when it was someone you loved deeply was worse. It made what he did much harder to swallow.
Loving someone shouldn’t be that hard.
It should be much simpler.
People made it so much more complicated than they needed it to be, and they complicated it to the extent where it was no longer its purest form.
Love wasn’t hard.
People made it hard.
“Even if he still loves her, that doesn’t mean she should take him back.” Lily’s tone was sharper than she intended, and she realized it She clamped her mouth shut, and exhaled. “I’m not trying to be harsh, and I don’t think I’ll tell her this because she should make this decision on her own, but still.”
Jack placed his hand atop Lily’s and squeezed. “It’s okay.”
Lily smiled gratefully. “She’ll figure it out, I’m sure. Cara might wear her heart on her sleeve, but she usually makes the right decision in the end.”
***
The doorbell was ringing.
Cara’s eyes fluttered open, and she sat up on the couch gazing around in confusion. Jack and Lily walked in, but their faces were completely hidden by flowers.
Two men came in with more flowers, and they placed them all over the living room at Lily’s behest.
Cara blinked, sure that she was dreaming.
“You’re awake.” Lily gave her a toothy grin. “Good, look what just arrived.”
“I can see that. Are we starting a greenhouse?” Cara raised an eyebrow, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.
“You know that I do have a green thumb.” Jack joked as he grunted with effort.
“Not that I don’t want to be supportive, but it’s too much, isn’t it?”
“It’s for you,” Lily announced as she motioned Cara to come over.
Cara titled her head, and picked up the card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, one rose for each day that I’ve loved you.”
Jack and Lily were reading over her shoulder. Cara turned to face them, and Jack wrinkled his nose. “That’s way too cheesy.”
“It’s cute though,” Lily offered.